They love him in Albania (they can keep him)

Thomas Ricks of the WaPo writes of Pentagon plans for Korea-style bases in Iraq, “One of the guiding principles, according to two officials here, is that the United States should leave Iraq more intelligently than it entered.” Talk about setting the bar low.

Speaking of WaPo journalists, Rajiv Chandrasekaran’s “Imperial Life in the Emerald City” will be made into a movie. With Matt Damon.

George Bush is in the only country in the world that actually likes him, the only country where he could risk going out in public,


the only country whose prime minister would describe him as “the greatest and most distinguished guest we have ever had in all times” (well, almost the only country, but Tony Blair’s out by the end of the month).

Oh, sorry, it’s Albania, which Bush called “a country that has casted off the shackles of a very repressive society”.


(And by the way, headline of the day, from the White House website: “President Bush Makes Toast in Albania.” White or wheat? No, wait, I’ll bet it was raisin.)

Bush uttered a prime example of the “in other words” genre: “I commended the Prime Minister for the progress that Albania has made in defense reform -- in other words, part of becoming a member of NATO requires a reformation of the defense forces.” Followed two sentences later by another: “In other words, you’re just not accepted into membership; you just can’t say, I want to join”. He suggested that, “The politicians have got to work together now to meet the standards. They’ve got to set aside political differences and focus on what’s right for Albania.” It’s generally considered bad form to lecture condescendingly to politicians in other countries as if they were Democrats and to accuse them of partisanship.


On the subject of Kosovo, a rather sputtering “in other words”: “In other words, I put a sense of -- I made it clear that -- two things, one that we need to get moving; and two, that the end result is independence.”


A reporter began a question, “Yesterday you called for a deadline for U.N. action on Kosovo...” Bush responded, “A couple of points on that. First of all, I don’t think I called for a deadline. I thought I said, time -- I did? What exactly did I say? I said, ‘deadline’? Okay, yes, then I meant what I said.” Here is what he did say yesterday:

Q: And the deadline for the Kosovo independence --

PRESIDENT BUSH: What? Say that again?

Q: Deadline for the Kosovo independence?

PRESIDENT BUSH: A decline?

Q: Deadline, deadline.

PRESIDENT BUSH: Deadline. Beg your pardon. My English isn’t very good. (Laughter.)

For example, as with Iraq, he literally does not know the meaning of the word deadline.

Here Bush is seen arriving at Tirana Airport and receiving the traditional gift of flowers and a 12-year old girl.

And I was in awe, and it was a moving experience for me

Condi Rice explained in an interview that the thing about Iraq being like Korea is a metaphor, not an analogy. So that’s okay, then.

Bush had a brief press conference with Italian PM Prodi (who thinks that all American high schools offer Italian classes) (which may not be true, but many of us have picked up some practical Italian from The Sopranos).


Mostly, Bush talked about his meeting with the pope (sadly, the two did not have a joint press conference), who he again called “His Holy Father.” When they met, he called him “sir,” which is evidently such a breach of protocol that people gasped. “First, I’ll give you an impression. I was talking to a very smart, loving man. ... And I was in awe, and it was a moving experience for me.”


Pope Benny evidently expressed some concern about Christian Iraqis – or as Bush put it, “he’s worrisome about the Christians inside Iraq being mistreated by the Muslim majority” – but none about the non-Christian Iraqis dying every day – “We didn’t talk about ‘just war.’” What exactly is the point of a pope, if when meeting a man in charge of an unjust war, he doesn’t even bring the subject up?


Bush said that the decision not to renominate the alliterative Peter Pace “speaks to the U.S. Congress and the climate in the U.S. Congress.” Cloudy with a slight chance of oversight?

The president talked a lot about what we talked about

Yesterday at the G8 summit, Bush finally showed up, not looking hung over at all:


“I keep telling you, I’m Felipe Calderon, the president of Mexico.” “I don’t care who you are, Pepe, just get me a beer, pronto.”
“You’re a genie, aren’t you, genie? Get me a beer, genie.”
Then he went to Gdansk, to meet tiny Polish President Kaczynski, or possibly tiny Polish Prime Minister Kaczynski (they’re twins, you know).


Said Bush, “We really thank you for inviting us to Jurata. Thank you for the walk in the woods.” I’m pretty sure Kaczynski tried to ditch him in the woods, but couldn’t out-run him with those stubby legs.

Bush said, “The president talked a lot about what we talked about.” The way he describes it, it’s almost like you’re there.

“One thing I do want to do is praise this good country for being so strong for freedom.” He hasn’t learned a new adjective since he was five years old, has he?

By the way, ask gay Poles how strong they feel Kaczynski is for freedom.

He thanked Poland for sending troops to Iraq; “The people of Iraq will never forget it.” Because they never knew it in the first place.

“We discussed, as well, the efforts by Poland to help people who are -- need to be free from governments that are -- darken their vision. I thank you very much for your leadership for Belarus”. Either he’s saying that the little twin is leading Belarus, or that Belarus’s government needs to be overthrown. Possibly both.

He affirmed plans to piss Putin off by installing missile interceptors that won’t work on Polish soil to “enhance... the security of the entire continent against rogue regimes who might be willing to try to blackmail free nations. That’s the true threat of the 21st century.” In case you were wondering what the true threat of the 21st century is.

“All in all, we had the kind of conversation you’d expect strong allies to have. It was candid, it was over a really good meal...” You know, the kind of meal you’d expect strong allies to have. Not with brussel sprouts. Strong allies don’t eat brussel sprouts. “...and I’m looking forward to bringing you back, Mr. President, to the White House.” Er, I don’t think you get to keep him.

A divisive ordeal

Secretary of War Robert Gates had made a momentous decision: saying that “a divisive ordeal at this point is not in the interests of the country or of our military services, our men and women in uniform,” he has decided to replace the alliterative Peter Pace as Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff because his confirmation hearings would have been “contentious” and “backward-looking.” So the divisive ordeal Gates wished to spare our men and women in uniform was... the sight on C-SPAN of Pace being asked some questions about his previous job performance, possibly in a harsh tone of voice. His replacement is, Reader points out in comments, the alliterative Michael Mullen.


Gates makes it clear that he thinks Pace the better man for the job, and that it is solely the contentious hearings at which he balked. Not the vote, which he knows he’d win. He also said he made his decision after he was warned about the hearings being all contentious-y by senators. Of course it’s obvious that the Democrats would be a problem, and I’m sure the prospect of listening to Joe Biden go on and on makes us all feel tired, but I suspect what Gates was told that made him bail on Pace was that the Republican senators weren’t prepared to cheer-lead for him this time.

What happens in Heiligendamm, stays in Heiligendamm

Sheriff Clark, the white supremacist responsible for so much violence against civil rights activists in Selma in the 1960s, has died. I must say, I didn’t know he was defeated for re-election in 1966, or that he went to prison for marijuana smuggling in 1978. Read the NYT obit.

It will be interesting to see how big a scandal BAE Systems’s bribing of Prince Bandar develops into. On the one hand it’s a case of graft on a massive scale, and Tony Blair intervened personally to quash a legal investigation, but on the other hand it’s not exactly news that arms companies and Saudi princes are corrupt. Caught red-handed, Blair could only pretend that nothing serious had taken place. Hell, bribing foreigners wasn’t even illegal in Britain until 2002, and, he said, those contracts provided thousands of jobs for British workers in the arms trade. Of course, anyone who pays a bribe to secure a contract can say the same thing, but usually don’t have Tony’s self-delusion.

Headline of the day: “Cops Raid Wrong Place, Kick Man in Groin.” Is there a right place to kick a man in the groin?

Okay, as I wrote that, I realized some of you would read that and instantly go to comments to answer, “The Oval Office.” I know how you people think.

So you’ll just have to settle for watching Bush get shit-faced:

“Thanks, fraulein, that’ll do for a start.”

“Heh heh, I got ‘em all fooled in ta thinkin’ this’s a non-alcoholic beer.”

“One more beer an’ I go in for the neck rub.”

“What Laura don’t know won’t hurt me.”

“An’ another thing...” Bush says as he goes into Cliff Claven mode.


Oh, I know these are cheap shots, but they’re satisfying. So you people want a caption contest so you can join in, don’t you? (I said I know how you people think).

Also, what on earth is going on with Sarkozy?


(Update: the next morning, Bush missed meetings and was said to be “resting in his room with a stomach ailment.” Mm hmm.)

And the missile defense system should say, we can work together

While in the Czech Republic, Bush was presented by Defense Minister Vlasta Parkanova with a CD in which she sang (she used to be a jazz musician; the former president was a playwright: it’s a Czech thing) a song in praise of the missile defense base to the tune of an old Communist-era song, “Good Afternoon, Mr. Gagarin.”

I have some pictures from yesterday to burn off:


“Ew, he’s sniffing his hand again.”
“Oh please mein Gott, not another back rub.”
At the G8, Bush and Blair met for the very last time of Blair’s premiership. So many memories, all of which Blair will spend the rest of his life trying to repress. Unsuccessfully, if there is any justice in the world.


Someday, he’ll be a real boy.
The main subjects were AIDS in Africa and global warming. Bush bounced back and forth between them disconcertingly: “And as we discuss global climate change, it’s really important we don’t forget those who are dying.” “Over the past three years, anti-retroviral drugs has been extended from -- to over a million people, up from 50,000. So it’s important to debate the environment and discuss it.”

On global warming, Bush said, “I view our role as a bridge between people in Europe and others and India and China.” There’s a joke about rising water levels in there somewhere, but not a very funny joke.

He said the US will reduce its use of gas by 20% in 10 years, “And the way you do that is through technologies and ethanols and battery technologies”. Many technologies and many ethanols.

There were other issues discussed. “But enough is enough in Darfur.” Although, “I don’t know how long it’s going to take for people to hear the call to save lives.”

Blair also spoke, defending his decision to quash an investigation into the massive bribes British Aerospace Engineering paid to Saudi Prince Bandar – “my job is to give advice as to whether that [the investigation] is a sensible thing”, what with the strategic interests and British jobs. Not even a hint that corruption might be a, you know, bad thing at all.


On the missile defense system, Bush laid out the fact: “In other words, the facts are, is that -- the fact is this...”

What’s important? “[I]t is important for Russia and Russians to understand that I believe the Cold War ended”. Well, pretty sure anyway, he was kind of drunk that year.

“I repeat, Russia is not a threat. They’re not a military threat. They’re not something that we ought to be hyperventilating about.”

Oh, who wouldn’t hyperventilate?
What should we be hyperventilating about? Some people would say, talking missile defense systems: “And the missile defense system should say, we can work together.”

The process and progress move at different paces and different places

Austria has lowered the voting age to 16. Will this be followed elsewhere?

Bush had a press conference at the G8 summit. Before he took questions, he felt he had to say something about his speech yesterday: “The purpose of the speech is to remind our allies and those who are wondering as to whether or not the United States is firmly committed to democracy that we are.” So that clears that up.

He previewed his upcoming chat with Putin about the missile defense stations: “And we’ll have a good dialogue about how we can constructively work together to deal with -- modernize our capacity to deal with the threat to the -- the true threats.” Yeah, that’ll be a good dialogue, all right. He says it’s okay that Putin is threatening to re-target missiles on European targets, because, “I don’t think Vladimir Putin intends to attack Russia -- I mean, Europe.” In fact, he twice says that Russia won’t attack Europe. It will not escape Russia’s notice that Bush doesn’t consider Russia to be part of Europe. He says we don’t need to respond militarily to any re-targeting “because we’re not at war with Russia.”

He explained the necessity of a missile shield: “I mean, if somebody pops up with a weapon and says, hands up, people will say, well, how come we didn’t have a shield?” They’ll also be wondering why someone with a nuclear missile is saying “hands up.” “And so it’s -- I think we need to do both. I think we need to protect ourselves of what might happen, and then work collaboratively to make sure it doesn’t happen.”

Protect ourselves of what might happen? Prepositions are really not his friend. He also warned about the dangers of “cells moving through our societies with the intent upon killing”.

He managed to portray Putin’s threats of nuclear confrontation as a positive sign. A reporter asked if Putin had some “political purpose.” Bush responded, “It’s interesting you would ask the question, do you think he is trying to position himself at home -- thereby meaning that he is concerned about public opinion, which is a sign that there is a -- when public opinion influences leadership, it is an indication that there is involvement of the people.” So war-like threats are a sign of a vibrant democratic process. Tell me again, why are we “firmly committed to democracy”?

Of course, there’s firmly committed, and there’s firmly committed. About Musharaf: “And in terms of the democracy issues, he’s going to have to deal with it. ... democracy is -- it’s a lot more established in Pakistan than some of the other nations I mentioned. And there’s upcoming elections. And what you’re seeing is a lot of posturing about the election process, and it’s not perfect. Either was our democracy perfect for 100 years when we enslaved people.” Posturing about the election process?

He warned against demanding changes “overnight,” touting “incremental reforms” in Saudi Arabia. He said, “The process and progress move at different paces and different places”. Let’s stop for a moment to marvel at the sophistication of that sentence, with its not one but two internal rhyme schemes. Oh sure, he screwed up when he said “and” instead of “in,” and he’s excusing despotic states, but, hey, two internal rhyme schemes.

He continued, making the point that while democracy is all well and good, there are more important matters at stake: “and the role of the United States is to help encourage them along, while at the same time achieving certain national objectives. It just so happens that the key national objective in the beginning of the 21st century is to make sure we don’t get attacked again and innocent people get murdered. And so we can do both. We can say that in the long run, the best way to secure your society is through liberty. In the short run, let’s work collaboratively to protect ourselves.”

On Iraq: “it should frighten the American people that al Qaeda is active in Iraq looking for a safe haven from which to launch further attacks.” Dammit, why aren’t you people more frightened?

About the Iraq-South Korea comparison: “It’s not to say that the cultures were the same, or the difficulties in the different countries are the same. It is to say, however, that the U.S. can provide a presence in order to give people confidence necessary to make decisions that will enable democracies to emerge, and say to other people, step back and let the democracies emerge.”

Says cellulosic ethanol “will help nations once that becomes able to compete in the market.” Bush can mangle a sentence that badly but somehow they taught him to say “cellulosic ethanol.”

On carbon emissions: “I said I’m for sitting together with the nations to sit down and discuss a way forward.” So there’ll be sitting involved.

And it will be at a table: “you’re not going to have greenhouse gas emissions that mean anything unless all nations, all emitters are at the table.” And you do not want to be near the table with all the emitters, if you know what I mean.

Always end on a flatulence joke, that’s my philosophy.

Republican debate: Press 1 for English, my friends

I was multi-tasking during the debate, so this is somewhat sketchy. The pictures in this post illustrate the many hand gestures of the Republican Party.

Transcript.

McCain, who kept calling everyone “My friends” (9 times), because he’s very very lonely, castigated Hillary for calling Iraq George Bush’s war, says that he never called Bosnia and Kosovo Bill Clinton’s wars. Says presidents don’t lose wars, nations lose wars. By electing idiot presidents, presumably.


Giuliani says it’s not a bumper sticker, it’s a real war. Of course if the bumper sticker said “Giuliani in 2008,” it would be both. He seems to be the biggest advocate of going to war against Iran now, and twice said that there was a danger of Iran giving nukes to terrorists. But pretty much everyone would use our nukes to prevent Iran having nukes.


About The War Against Terror (TWAT), Huckabee says about the terrorists it’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog. He’s from Arkansas, you know.

No one is in favor of allowing gays in the military.


Tancredo would ban all new immigration until we no longer have to press 1 for English.


When pre-screened audience members asked questions, one woman talked about her brother who died in Iraq. Brownback called his corpse an “incredible gift.”


Huckabee said pro-life philosophy shouldn’t just be about abortion but include concern for people after they leave.. and here you could see panic on his face as he realized where he had led himself, and he actually gulped... the womb.


They’re asked what job they would give George Bush. Tommy “Thomas” Thompson says he certainly wouldn’t send him to the United Nations, ha ha, but would send him on a lecture circuit talking “to the youth of America about honesty, integrity, perseverance, passion and serving the public.” Sort of like community service, like Robert Downey Jr. having to give talks about why drugs are bad, that kind of thing. Brownback wouldn’t use Bush, but might send him if there were tragedies overseas. Bush knows a lot about tragedies overseas, having caused so many. Tancredo would tell Bush to fuck off because that’s what Rove told him to do.


Unfortunately, the other candidates weren’t asked that question. In comments, what job do you think McCain would give Chimpy?

Bush in Prague: It’s beginning an important trip to Europe

Secretary of War Robert Gates said that if the “surge” is not progressing as fast as was promised, it’s because “al Qaeda and others are trying to make as much difficulty as possible for us and for the Iraqi government.” Isn’t it funny how wars go so much slower when there’s a, you know, enemy?

Irving “Scooter” Libby has been sentenced to 30 months in prison:


Bush is in the Czech Republic, or as he put it, “It’s beginning an important trip to Europe.” Is it? “Obviously, I’m off to the G8 later on this evening. I think it’s important for the people of the Czech Republic to know, however, that my first stop is here.” It’s also important that they know he had eggs for breakfast. And why does he bestow this honor on the Czech people? “People in this country took risk necessary so that the people could actually live in a free society.” “I find it inspiring to be in a country where the leadership and the people are willing to say, we listen carefully for the voices of those who have been imprisoned.” Scooter Libby?


On the stationing of Star Wars systems in the CR, which is deeply unpopular with the general public there, and even more with Vladimir Putin, he said, “Let me first talk about a general principle when it comes to relations with Russia. The Cold War is over. It ended.” See, and you didn’t think there was a general principle when it comes to relations with Russia.

“And so my attitude on missile defense is, is that this is a purely -- it’s not my attitude, it’s the truth -- it’s a purely defensive measure, aimed not at Russia, but at true threats.” You know, if there’s one thing Russia hates more than being thought of as a true threat, it’s not being thought of as a true threat.

“And my message will be, Vladimir -- I call him Vladimir -- that you shouldn’t fear a missile defense system.” Well, if being called by his first name doesn’t win him over, I don’t know what will.

Prime Minister Mirek Topolanek noted that in addition to missile defense and the visa issue that pisses off every country we’re supposed to be friendly with, “We talked about Southern Ossetia, Abkhazia, and Transdnestria conflicts.” I’m sure George had many deep insights to share on those subjects.


Bush also gave a little speech. On freedom. Which is in a war. Like that Cold War thing. The one that’s over, it ended. “Like the Cold War, it’s an ideological struggle between two fundamentally different visions of humanity. On one side are the extremists, who promise paradise, but deliver a life of public beatings and repression of women and suicide bombings.”


“The most powerful weapon in the struggle against extremism is not bullets or bombs -- it is the universal appeal of freedom.” That’s why Bush claims to like freedom so much: he thinks it’s a weapon. Also, if its appeal is universal, who are we using this weapon against?

Speaking of universal appeal, Bush says that “The communists had an imperial ideology that claimed to know the directions of history.” Bush would never be that arrogant: “Freedom is the design of our Maker, and the longing of every soul.”

So freedom is a weapon designed by God. What else is it? “Freedom is the best way to unleash the creativity and economic potential of a nation. Freedom is the only ordering of a society that leads to justice. And human freedom is the only way to achieve human rights.” Just in case you thought that human slavery was a way to achieve human rights.


He says “some” (Natan Sharansky, actually, who was in the room) have said that his goal of “ending tyranny in our world” makes him a “dissident president,” and “If standing for liberty in the world makes me a dissident, I wear that title with pride.” No it doesn’t make you a dissident. Vaclav Havel, also in the room, he was a dissident. Ask him what a real dissident experienced. In fact, you’re actually at a conference that’s lousy with real dissidents.

He has issued an order to all our ambassadors in “unfree” countries to meet with dissidents. I can’t wait to see if this policy of promoting freedom in unfree countries actually extends to issuing a list of countries we consider unfree.

He does name several, including Venezuela, where “elected leaders have resorted to shallow populism to dismantle democratic institutions and tighten their grip on power.” As I’ve mentioned before, the Bushies seem to think “populism” is a word that will make us gasp in horror. I’m not sure if shallow populism is better or worse than regular populism.


He says he will even ask “valued partners” like Egypt and Saudi Arabia and Pakistan to move toward freedom, but then praises them for their “steps to expand liberty and transparency.” He doesn’t say what these steps might be.

He says that Russian reforms have been “derailed.” He doesn’t say by whom.

Gumption!

We’re back. Evidently this isn’t a spam blog after all. Who knew?

Karzai says that in Afghanistan, “the war has been won. It is the finishing touch that we are getting at now.” And Afghan institutions will be “standing on their own feet in a few years.” Maybe you’d get to that finishing touch faster if you weren’t sitting down.

At the Wyoming Boys State Conference, a group dedicated to the eradication of the apostrophe, Dick Cheney, who attended the conference as a lad, answers a question: “How is my relationship with Harry Reid? Well, it’s better than my relationship with Pat Leahy.”

He also said that what we need in Iraq is “gumption.” “[W]e’ve got to have the gumption to stay in the fight and to get the job done.”

Can’t have too much gumption.

If you’re playing a Little League game in 1926 in the field behind Old Man Potter’s place.

There was a little dust-up at the OAS General Assembly today, with Condi Rice attacking Hugo Chavez for shutting down RCTV. And just because she more or less agrees with me on this one doesn’t mean she shouldn’t shut the fuck up. Venezuela responded by mentioning the border fence and Guantanamo. She said those issues are fully discussed on American tv, adding, “That is the point of press freedom, that in a democracy, the citizens of a country should have the assurance that the policies of their government will be held up for criticism by a free and independent press, and then we’ll just fucking ignore them, because who gives a shit what a bunch of pansy journalists think, George is the Decider, the Decider I tell you!” I may have made up that last part. Then again, I may not have.

This is the picture the NYT is using for a story about Romney’s business career:


Separated at birth?

A pure and absolute democrat

A prisoner in Texas due to be executed later this month is asking people to send him jokes he might use for his last words. He won’t work blue, though.

A Palestinian group, Righteous Sword of Islam, has issued a statement that puppies are nice.

What? It could happen. Just because they’re called the Righteous Sword of Islam doesn’t mean they don’t think that puppies are nice.

Oh, all right, in fact they ordered women appearing on Palestinian tv to wear veils or else they would be killed. “If necessary, we will behead and slaughter to preserve the spirit and morals of our people.” Gosh, there may be some sort of contradiction in there somewhere, but I just can’t put my finger on it...

Speaking of unclear on the concept, Vladimir Putin told reporters, “Of course, I am a pure and absolute democrat. But you know what the problem is – not a problem, a real tragedy – that I am alone. There are no such pure democrats in the world. Since Mahatma Gandhi, there has been no one.” I think he just wants Ben Kingsley to play him in the movie.

Democratic debate: There’s a teachable moment here

Transcript.


Edwards: The war on terror is a bumper sticker. We are not safer.


Clinton: The war on terror is not a bumper sticker (but it is one of those Garfield dolls stuck to a car window). We are safer.


Kucinich: There’s a teachable moment here.

Biden, yelling (he seemed to be yelling a lot of the time, as was Gravel): We’re not funding the war, we’re funding the safety of the troops until we can get 67 votes to end the war. So that’s okay, then.


Hillary tried to avoid have to admit that she didn’t read the National Intelligence Estimate before voting for the war. But when pressed (good for Wolf Blitzer, by the way) she tried to claim it was irrelevant and that she was “totally briefed” (also: “thoroughly briefed”) (insert your own “boxers or briefs” joke here). By whom she did not say (and it’s important, since the question is whether she knew of the dissent in the full report that she failed to read, and since the dissent turned out to be correct). She also blamed “the Iraqis” for failing to take advantage of the “opportunity” we gave them.


Hillary: Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell was a transition policy. She really can’t admit that anything she or the Clinton administration did was a mistake.

Biden: “No one asked anyone else whether they’re gay in those holes – foxholes!”

Asked how they would use Bill Clinton, every single one wants to send him out of the country. Especially Hillary. Indeed, Hillary says, “I believe in using former presidents.” No one asked what job she would give Chimpy.


Edwards was a little worrisome on foreign policy issues. He talked about driving a wedge between the Iranian people and its leaders, but seemed to support Pervez Musharaf as being better for us than the results of democratic elections.

Hillary said that Musharaf has “become” anti-democratic. I was going to ask what her first clue was – his seizing power in a military coup? – but then realized this was another example of her refusal to admit past mistakes, since Musharaf came to power when Bill was in office.

Bill Richardson suggested pressuring China to pressure Sudan by threatening to boycott the Olympics. People tend to forget how damaging to his reputation Carter’s decision to boycott the 1980 Olympics was. I’d go so far as to say he would have been re-elected but for that.


Asked what they would do in their first 100 days, several of course said pull troops out of Iraq. Richardson would establish pre-school for every American. Well, I’m looking forward to that. I haven’t finger-painted in a really long time. Edwards would travel the world re-establishing America’s moral authority. He didn’t say how. Gravel would yell at people. Dodd would restore constitutional rights. Yay, Dodd!