Saturday, June 09, 2007

The president talked a lot about what we talked about

Yesterday at the G8 summit, Bush finally showed up, not looking hung over at all:

“I keep telling you, I’m Felipe Calderon, the president of Mexico.” “I don’t care who you are, Pepe, just get me a beer, pronto.”

“You’re a genie, aren’t you, genie? Get me a beer, genie.”

Then he went to Gdansk, to meet tiny Polish President Kaczynski, or possibly tiny Polish Prime Minister Kaczynski (they’re twins, you know).

Said Bush, “We really thank you for inviting us to Jurata. Thank you for the walk in the woods.” I’m pretty sure Kaczynski tried to ditch him in the woods, but couldn’t out-run him with those stubby legs.

Bush said, “The president talked a lot about what we talked about.” The way he describes it, it’s almost like you’re there.

“One thing I do want to do is praise this good country for being so strong for freedom.” He hasn’t learned a new adjective since he was five years old, has he?

By the way, ask gay Poles how strong they feel Kaczynski is for freedom.

He thanked Poland for sending troops to Iraq; “The people of Iraq will never forget it.” Because they never knew it in the first place.

“We discussed, as well, the efforts by Poland to help people who are -- need to be free from governments that are -- darken their vision. I thank you very much for your leadership for Belarus”. Either he’s saying that the little twin is leading Belarus, or that Belarus’s government needs to be overthrown. Possibly both.

He affirmed plans to piss Putin off by installing missile interceptors that won’t work on Polish soil to “enhance... the security of the entire continent against rogue regimes who might be willing to try to blackmail free nations. That’s the true threat of the 21st century.” In case you were wondering what the true threat of the 21st century is.

“All in all, we had the kind of conversation you’d expect strong allies to have. It was candid, it was over a really good meal...” You know, the kind of meal you’d expect strong allies to have. Not with brussel sprouts. Strong allies don’t eat brussel sprouts. “...and I’m looking forward to bringing you back, Mr. President, to the White House.” Er, I don’t think you get to keep him.

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