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Compiling this year’s pictures, This Blog has grown melancholy over the forthcoming loss of that eternal font of teh goofy, George Bush’s face, that chimp-like countenance which has the unique ability to make you want to both laugh at it and punch it very hard indeed, simultaneously.
What will a Barack Obama presidency bring? A long, long visual drought. An increasingly frustrating series of dignified poses. Sigh. Soon desperation will drive me to learn how to photoshop propeller beanies
and Queen Elizabeth’s hats
onto his head,
and he’ll still look ten times more dignified than Bush at his most dignitudinous. Sigh.
Here’s our look back:
My most popular photo of the year (400 hits from the Netherlands alone), Mara Carfagna, Italy’s “Equal Opportunities Minster” and now government spokesperson:
Our first glimpse of Joe the Plumber:
(Updated:
John McCain informed us that the fundamentals of our economy were strong, and while he may not have been entirely correct about that, one fundamental leading economic indicator remained absolutely steady, no matter what: everything we needed to know about the true state of the economy we could always tell by the expression on Treasury Secretary Hank Paulson’s face:
Finally, presenting the Picture of the Year for 2008:
Come back, Maverick, all is forgiven.
Cardinal Jorge Medina of Chile interrupted a mass in order to castigate Madonna (the singer not the mother of that Jesus guy), currently doing a concert tour in Chile, for causing “impure thoughts” with her “incredibly shameful behaviour.” He said that such thoughts, but presumably not massacring dissidents in a soccer stadium – did I mention the mass was in honor of the late dictator Augusto Pinochet? – are “a dirty stain on our heart.” Medina also accused Chileans seeking justice against government officials who tortured and killed during the Pinochet years of being motivated by revenge.
The Catholic Church also pressured Italian tv to run “Brokeback Mountain” without any gay scenes.
Today Bush met Dr. Halima Bashir, a civil rights activist from Darfur and author of “Tears in the Desert.” He said, “The urgency of the situation is never more apparent than when I had the honor of visiting with this brave soul.” Whatever makes it real for you. She hid her face from photographers, for obvious reasons.
Because she was afraid of getting killed in Sudan. Why, what did you think?
IN OTHER WORDS: “We support the mediation process by the A.U.-U.N. mediator. In other words, we recognize in order for there to be peace in Darfur that parties must come to the table in good faith and solve the problems.”
Bush was interviewed for Nightline tonight (link, other link).
IN OTHER WORDS: Asked whether a deal for a bailout of the car companies is close: “It’s hard to tell because there are some pretty strict standards. One is that anything that’s done would as best as possible guarantee the taxpayers get their money back. In other words, there needs to be viability.”
WHAT WE JUST DON’T WANT: “These are important companies, but on the other hand, we just don’t want to put good money after bad.”
The conversation naturally segued from there to the question of whether the Bible is literally true. “Probably not ... No, I’m not a literalist, but I think you can learn a lot from it, but I do think that the New Testament, for example is ... has got ... You know, the important lesson is ‘God sent a son.’”
Bush says he... I was about to say he said he believes in evolution, but thinking about it, what he said was “I think the creation of the world is so mysterious it requires something as large as an almighty, and I don’t think it’s incompatible with the scientific proof that there is evolution,” which is actually only saying that evolution may be true, not that it is.
CAN’T COUNT TO TWELVE: “All I can just tell you is that I got back into religion and I quit drinking shortly thereafter and I asked for help -- I was a one-step program guy.”
Says without his faith, “I’m pretty confident I would have been a pretty selfish person.” Yeah, imagine what that would be like.
Did God choose you to be president? “I just, I can’t go there.” Wink wink.
WHAT THERE’S A SENSE OF IN THE OVAL OFFICE: “There is a sense of calm in the Oval Office, where there are obviously a lot of dramatic moments and a lot of, you know, pressure, but there is calm in the Oval Office.”
WHAT THE VOICES IN GEORGE’S HEAD ARE SAYING TO HIM NOW: “People say, ‘But how do you know that it’s because of prayer?’ And I guess the answer is because of faith is how I know -- I can’t prove it for you.”
HE SHOULD REALLY TEACH SUNDAY SCHOOL AFTER HE LEAVES OFFICE: “For me, it’s not a crutch, for me it’s the realization of a power of a universal God and recognition that the God came manifested in human and then died for sins.”
Bush gave an interview to Dubai-based Arab satellite tv station MBC.
IT’S INTERESTING HISTORY HERE: “It’s interesting history here, and I think one thing that your viewers might be interested in knowing is that the first decision I ever made as President -- but I was actually President-elect -- was, what color rug do you want?” Arab viewers would be interested in knowing that, all being rug-merchants.
A UNIVERSAL GOD: “And I tell people this, that I do believe there is a universal God, and a gift of that Almighty to all of us -- whether we be Methodists or Muslims or nothing -- is freedom. And so freedom is a great alternative.” Isn’t it nice of the Almighty to give a gift to people who are Methodists or Muslims or nothing? I’ll bet the nothing people didn’t get Him anything.
MOMS CAN GROW UP: “If you believe there’s an Almighty God, and a gift of that Almighty to everybody is freedom, then I think you have to -- if you can do something about it, that you have to act on that -- so that moms can grow up in a society that is hopeful for their children, you know, that their children are -- can realize dreams.”
WHAT THE VOICES IN GEORGE’S HEAD ARE SAYING NOW: “And I hear people say, George Bush doesn’t like Muslims; he wants to fight Muslims.”
WHAT WAS A TERRIBLE DISAPPOINTMENT: Asked if, looking back, he would do anything differently, he said, “I’m sure there will be” – that is, he might be able to come up with something when he actually does look back, but he hasn’t looked back yet. So he decided to turn it around and respond with an answer to a question that hadn’t been asked, one which didn’t require him to admit fallibility, saying, “there’s been some disappointments.” For example, “Well, like, Abu Ghraib was a terrible disappointment. And admittedly, I wasn’t there on the site, but I was the Commander-in-Chief of a military where these disgraceful acts took place that sent the absolute wrong image about America and our military.” Yeah it would have all been totally different if he had been there on the site to, like, supervise.
Other disappointments: “You know, parts of Iraq -- it’s taken longer than I thought it would. On the other hand, I am pleased to see a multiethnic society begin to emerge.” I’m pretty sure they had more than one ethnic group before we invaded them.
WHAT GEORGE LOVES TO HEAR: “I talked to the leaders of Iraq yesterday and today and congratulated them on doing some hard work. And I love to hear their spirit in their voice.” They only have the one voice, I guess.
WHAT PEOPLE WILL SAY: “I believe when people objectively analyze this administration, they’ll say, well, I see now what he was trying to do.”
NORMAL: Asked what he would miss about the White House, he repeated that he’d miss being Commander-in-Chief of the cannon fodder, and like Laura he’d miss the servants: “But, you know, the White House is full of incredibly gracious and kind people who work hard to make family life as normal as possible.” You know, for most of us, a “normal” family life doesn’t involve lots of servants working hard to make it normal.
IN OTHER WORDS: “I’m grateful that at the Annapolis conference all Arab nations were represented -- which is an important signal, because I learned a lesson in studying previous efforts for peace, that there must be regional buy-in. In other words, the nations in the region must stand with the Palestinians, in particular, and say this is -- we support you.”
IN OTHER WORDS: “I share the vision that the only way there’s going to be peace is where those who assume that violence is necessary to achieve peace cannot be a part of the process. In other words, people have to renounce violence in order to have peace. It’s contradictory to say, I am going to use violence to achieve my objectives, and oh, by the way, I’m for peace.” Say, did I mention that the US refused this week to sign the treaty against cluster bombs?
IN OTHER WORDS: “Well, I think we’ve left [the Palestinian peace process] in good shape. We’ve left it with the vision intact. In other words, a lot of people now share the vision of two states.”
A LOT OF DEBATE: “There was a lot of debate on the SFA and SOFA, and there were people that were -- you know, a lot of people were saying, well, this will be bad for Iraq, and others say this will be good for Iraq.”
WHAT PEOPLE SAY: “We tried to avert it [the invasion of Iraq]. I know people say, oh, George Bush likes to use the military.” He’s right. People do say that. I’ve heard them.
COMPETE WITH HEZBOLLAH? “I believe a Middle East with Saddam Hussein in power today would be different, much different than the one today. I think you’d see a man with a lot of oil wealth willing to use terrorist connections to try to compete, for example, with Hezbollah.”
When the interviewer mentioned the US incursion into Syria in October, Bush interjected, “Allegedly, yes.”
And how would he like to be remembered by people in the Middle East? “I would hope they would remember me as George W. Bush, as a man who respects their religion, respects human rights and human dignity, and prays for peace.” Well, they probably will remember him as George W. Bush. That’s one out of four, which is higher than his average success rate, so well done, George W.... um, what was your name again?
Today, Bush used the R word (“Today’s job data reflects the fact that our economy is in a recession.”) and gave one of his “legacy” speeches summarizing his Middle East (cough) accomplishments. It was a victory speech: “the Middle East in 2008 is a freer, more hopeful, and more promising place than it was in 2001”.
Shrub of Arabia says he has “had the privilege to see the Middle East up close. I have stood on the shores of the Sea of Galilee, and I’ve hiked the cliffs of Masada. I’ve enjoyed dinner in the desert of Abu Dhabi, and prayed at the Church of the Nativity in Bethlehem.” And he has learned one thing: don’t eat dinner in the desert of Abu Dhabi, the sand tends to get in your food.
I’LL BET HE SAW INTO THEIR SOULS: “I have looked into the eyes of courageous elected leaders from Iraq, Lebanon, Israel, and the Palestinian Territories.”
WAIT, THERE WAS AN EASY OPTION IN IRAQ? “When Saddam regimes -- regimes fell -- when Saddam’s regime fell, we refused to take the easy option and install a friendly strongman in his place.”
SOME OF THEM EVEN STILL ATTACHED TO HANDS: “We see the new story of the Middle East in Iraqis waving ink-stained fingers”.
WHAT’S GROWING LOUDER: “Across the region, conversations about freedom and reform are growing louder.” Conversations about figs tend to grow louder, and end in gun-fire: it’s the freaking Middle East.
I’m not going to quote this thing extensively. If you want to learn about how we brought about a new enlightened age of democracy and religious freedom, stared down Libya and Iran, etc etc, read the transcript. I will just end with these words of smug, totally unearned self-congratulation: “Yet the changes of the past eight years herald the beginning of something historic and new. At long last, the Middle East is closing a chapter of darkness and fear, and opening a new one written in the language of possibility and hope. For the first time in generations, the region represents something more than a set of problems to be solved, or the site of energy resources to be developed. A free and peaceful Middle East will represent a source of promise, and home of opportunity, and a vital contributor to the prosperity of the world.”
So, yay, we won.
(Update: Juan Cole, naturally, has a detailed demolition
http://www.juancole.com/2008/12/arguing-with-bush-one-last-time.html
of the speech.)
