Today -100: November 22, 1912: Of armistices and ex-presidents

Turkey rejects the armistice conditions and fails to make counter-proposals. It’s like they don’t understand diplomacy or something, everyone says. War resumes, I guess.

Andrew Carnegie says that since the US doesn’t give pensions to its former presidents and their widows, he will. $25,000 a year, 1/3 of the presidential salary. But not for Roosevelt.

Presidents didn’t get pensions until 1958.

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Today -100: November 21, 1912: Of airships and insane musicians

Count von Zeppelin denies that it was one of his airships seen over England last month.

Headline of the Day -100 (LAT): “Musician Becomes Insane. Santa Ana Man Loses Mind While Playing Organ at a Masonic Temple Dedication.”

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Today -100: November 20, 1912: But the men must be bored

Woodrow Wilson, on vacation in Bermuda, says he’s actually beginning to forget politics. Don’t worry, Tom, politics hasn’t forgotten you.

Peace talks begin in the First Balkan War. However, the allies’ terms call for Turkey to surrender places the allies didn’t succeed in capturing, including Adrianople and Scutari, so we’ll see. Cholera has everyone worried, though the NYT claims that “Mussulman fatalism makes a cholera epidemic a less important factor” to the Ottomans than to the Bulgarians.

Headline of the Day -100 (LAT): “Peace News Hurts Wheat.”

The annual luncheon of the NY anti-women’s suffrage society came to grips with the problem of how to assert themselves politically to argue against asserting themselves politically. Said the president, Mrs. William Putnam, “It is high time there should be no silent women, though that sounds bad for an anti-suffragist.” “Let every man you meet know that you are an anti-suffragist. Never sit at dinner beside a man without letting him know that you are an anti-suffragist. ... I have been afraid of boring people, but the men must be bored. Tell every carpenter and every man who works for you.” Mrs. Martha McCullouch Williams said, “It is a woman’s duty to be delightful, ornamental, and useful, and she could not be more so with the vote. If she had it she would not know what to do with it. Where the ballot is placed in the hands of those unfit to use it there follows ruin, rapine, and terror. ... Woman is no more fit for the ballot than to be a trapeze performer or bareback rider.”

Noted in the LAT: they referred to Thanksgiving as Turkey Day even back then.

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Name that penis! Another competition I may very well regret

For once – and only this once – Charles Pierce has let us down, referring to Col. Combover’s wang with less than his usual creativity as “little Petraeus.” Surely we can do better than that. So when he combs over his pubic hair and affixes the tiny row of medals beneath his cock in preparation for a night on the town, what does he call it?

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Today -100: November 19, 1912: Of Albanias, bathtub trusts, and baronesses

While the Great Powers want a new Albania established out of the wreckage of the Ottoman Empire, the Balkan League nations want to partition it amongst themselves.

Turkish troops finally do something right, stopping a Bulgarian attack at Tchatalja. This will save Adrianople and Constantinople from occupation.

The Supreme Court affirms that the Bathtub Trust was an illegal combination and should be dissolved. The ruling goes beyond bathtubs, saying that holders of patents can’t set a fixed price for retailers of that product.

Retired opera singer Minnie Hauk dies. She was the first to sing the title role of Carmen in the US, but retired when she married a German baron. This just goes to show that in this world you can be born a Minnie Hauk and die a Baroness von Hesse-Wartegg.

Correction: Her Wikipedia entry says she actually died in 1929.

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That’s preferable

Obama is in Thailand. He and PM Yingluck Shinawatra held a press conference.

A reporter asked if Thai “democracy” was “satisfying,” given the human rights abuses and people being imprisoned for very long prison terms for criticizing the king, etc. Obama answered that “democracy is not something that is static; it’s something that we constantly have to work on” and cited America’s shaky history. This is something he’s said before. Someone needs to follow up and ask some questions about American history, such as: when blacks weren’t allowed to vote in Mississippi, was Mississippi a democracy? If he’s going to keep using the word democracy for countries that aren’t very democratic, (later, on whether his trip to Burma is premature: “if we waited to engage until they had achieved a perfect democracy, my suspicion is we’d be waiting an awful long time”) I’d like to know what his definition of it is.

He was asked about Gaza. He insisted that the “precipitating event” was “an ever-escalating number of missiles,” because we all know that that’s how history started. Adam and Eve and the ever-escalating number of missiles.

He said that “there’s no country on Earth that would tolerate missiles raining down on its citizens from outside its borders.” Wow. Just.... wow.

“So we are fully supportive of Israel’s right to defend itself from missiles landing on people’s homes and workplaces and potentially killing civilians.” He did not say how Israel’s shooting missiles at journalists (for example) or “send[ing] Gaza back to the Middle Ages” constitutes defending itself from missiles landing on people’s homes and workplaces and potentially killing civilians.

He said that if the missiles can be stopped without a full-scale invasion of Gaza, “that’s preferable; that’s not just preferable for the people of Gaza, it’s also preferable for Israelis -- because if Israeli troops are in Gaza, they’re much more at risk of incurring fatalities or being wounded.” A Nobel Peace Prize Winner Explains Shit To You.

“But what I’ve said to President Morsi and Prime Minister Erdogan is that those who champion the cause of the Palestinians should recognize that if we see a further escalation of the situation in Gaza, then the likelihood of us getting back on any kind of peace track that leads to a two-state solution is going to be pushed off way into the future.” Um, a follow-up, Mr President: what was the “likelihood” of that before this?

He’s stopped even tacking on a suggestion that Israel avoid slaughtering civilians while exercising its “right to defend itself.”

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Today -100: November 18, 1912: Of attempted coups, UFOs, and what a great majority of men object to

An alleged plot by the Young Turks for a quick revolution to establish a republic has been thwarted.

For a month now, rumors have been going around about a mysterious object seen in the sky over England. Now it seems to be confirmed that it was a German airship, flown by Count Zeppelin himself, possibly blown off course, possibly testing out its capabilities in the laughably unlikely event of a war between Germany and Great Britain.

It’s a light news day -100, so let’s give some excerpts from a letter to the NYT by Everett Pepperrell Wheeler, a prominent lawyer, author, and failed candidate for NY governor in 1894, on the subject of last week’s women’s suffrage parade. I quote at length not because it’s exceptional but because it isn’t. It’s a rather typical anti-suffrage screed, nicely illustrative of the assumptions and arguments of many men and quite a few women:

And so 20,000 women paraded down Fifth Avenue to the sound of the trumpet and in the glare of the electric lights. Did their leaders really think that any sensible man likes to have his wife, or his mother, or his daughter thus parade the streets? It seems to me that this parade is one of the strongest arguments against universal suffrage for women that has yet been presented. It shows such a failure to adopt means reasonable to a desired end that it destroys the confidence any of us may have had in the good sense and sound judgment of the leaders of this movement.

Some of the women who have thus exhibited themselves to a curious public seem to believe that their rights are denied under our present laws. ... If it is better legislation that these zealous women desire, we can tell them that any woman who studies any subject and masters it can always have a respectful hearing from legislative bodies. ... What a great majority of men object to is the extension of the suffrage to nearly 2,000,000 women, citizens of voting age in the State of New York, whose time and strength are fully occupied by their present duties. These duties are most important. No man can perform them. These wives and mothers bear children, bring them up, train them.

He goes on to explain that good laws are useless without such training. I mean, look at the Ten Commandments: they’ve had a lot of publicity over the years, but they’re broken all the time.

It is to the mothers and sisters that we look primarily for that teaching and training in sound principles which will keep the man from committing these crimes, and to do this requires the undivided attention and thought and interest of the great majority of women.

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Today -100: November 17, 1912: Of troop movements, insured tsarevitches, and incensed frogs

Another Balkan state is heard from: Romania moves troops to its border with Bulgaria. Trying to ensure Bulgaria doesn’t grab too much territory.

And West Virginia Gov. William Glasscock moves troops into the coal fields of Kanawha to impose martial law and protect scabs.

The LAT reports that Tsarevitch Alexei of Russia has relapsed. And says his life is insured for $5,000,000. Which seems rather unlikely.

Diplomatic Headline of the Day -100 (LAT): “France Incensed at Russia.” For not supporting all of Serbia’s claims to new territory. Although the French actually seem more pissed at Germany, as was the custom. In Paris thousands march shouting “On to Berlin!” as they did in 1870 (as you’ll no doubt recall from the last words of Zola’s novel Nana), and that didn’t end particularly well (the Franco-Prussian War and the novel). “The French army is said to be in a perfect state of preparedness.” Preparedness for what, the LAT does not say.

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Risk causing civilian casualties

The Congressional resolutions (passed unanimously today) supporting Israel’s “inherent right of self-defense” in dropping bombs on Gaza didn’t suggest any limits on that right of self-defense: even Obama suggested that Israel might try to avoid Palestinian civilian casualties, Congress did not.

Indeed, the sole mention of the fact that Palestinians are dying is this: “the recent spike in Gaza-linked terrorist missile attacks against Israel, which risk causing civilian casualties in both Israel and Gaza”. Israel not only doesn’t get blame for the death of children and others, it doesn’t even get agency: Hamas is “causing civilian casualties” with Israeli bombs.

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Today -100: November 16, 1912: Of nobels, tariffs, and cholera

Gerhart Hauptmann wins the Nobel Prize for literature. Can’t say I’ve heard of him.

Wilson announces that he will call a special session of Congress in the spring to revise tariffs, although he denies supporting free trade, which he says is not advocated by any thinking Democrat.

More bad news for Turkey: a cholera outbreak among their troops. But some rare good news for Turkey: the cholera outbreak will make the Bulgarians afraid to occupy Constantinople.

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Obama & Netanyahu shoot the shit, Palestinian children

The White House puts out a statement on today’s call by Obama to Netanyahu.

Evidently he “reiterated to Prime Minister Netanyahu the United States’ support for Israel’s right to self-defense in light of the barrage of rocket attacks being launched from Gaza against Israeli civilians.” I’m not sure what “self-defense” has to do with what Israel is actually doing.

“The President urged Prime Minister Netanyahu to make every effort to avoid civilian casualties.” Well, every effort except not firing missiles into crowded cities.

“The two agreed that Hamas needs to stop its attacks on Israel to allow the situation to de-escalate.” Because people totally have conversations that sound like this.

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Today -100: November 15, 1912: Of armistices, parliamentary decorum, and lynchings

Or maybe there isn’t an armistice in the Balkan War.

A couple of days ago, there was a huge disturbance in the House of Commons over the Home Rule Bill, forcing the House to be adjourned. Someone threw a book at Winston Churchill’s head (hit it, too). In a Tory rally in Albert Hall, Tory party leader Andrew Bonar Law says he didn’t regret the disturbance and did nothing to stop it.

(Usage note: I’m using the informal “Tory” to avoid confusion. During this period, the Irish issue was so central that the Conservative Party called itself the Unionist Party, or sometimes the Conservative and Unionist Party).

A black man is lynched near Ocala, Florida. He was seized from the jail, taken two miles out of town and told to run, whereupon the mob shot him a few hundred times.

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Obama press conference: I don’t think there’s any debate in this country that when you have four Americans killed, that’s a problem

8 months since the last presser, and he really didn’t have much to say.

On Petraeus: “By his own assessment, he did not meet the standards that he felt were necessary as the director of CIA with respect to this personal matter that he is now dealing with with his family and with his wife. And it’s on that basis that he tendered his resignation, and it’s on that basis that I accepted it.” Obama is here avoiding saying whether he would have asked for Col. Combover’s resignation. As for those “standards,” and other discussion of Col. C “failing to live up to his own Code,” since the affair took place some time ago and he only resigned when it came out, the Petraeus Code is clearly Don’t Get Caught.

He calls the latest Syrian umbrella group “a legitimate representative of the aspirations of the Syrian people.” Nice that someone found the legitimacy that Assad lost – it’s always in the last place you look.

But we won’t be recognizing them as government-in-exile or arming them (at least not openly): “And you know, one of the things that we have to be on guard about, particularly when we start talking about arming opposition figures, is that we’re not indirectly putting arms in the hands of folks who would do Americans harm or do Israelis harm”. Did you notice what group he conspicuously omitted from that list? Syrians. If intra-Syrian ethnic/sectarian/factional violence is a factor in his decisionmaking process, it seems to have slipped his mind here.

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Today -100: November 14, 1912: Of armistices and revolvers

Armistice in the Balkan War.

Disappointing Sports Headline of the Day -100: “Revolver Shooting Winners.”

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Daily Telegraphy: Ostrich anus edition

There may be a metaphor in here somewhere: “Nadine Dorries entered the jungle promising to bring serious political debate to the masses. Instead, the MP found herself eating lamb’s testicle and ostrich anus on primetime television.”

Also, a retired Anglican bishop is arrested for sexually abusing minors. His name is the Rev. Peter Ball, because of course it is.

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Today -100: November 13, 1912: This wretch has killed me

Spanish Prime Minister José Canalejas is assassinated by an anarchist, as was the custom. Last words: “This wretch has killed me.”

Punch:

George Lansbury, Labour MP (and grandfather of Angela Lansbury), resigns from Parliament in order to stand again in the resulting by-election on the sole issue of women’s suffrage. Since the NYT won’t be following this at all as it develops, I’ll do the whole story in one go. The Labour Party had decided to continue backing the Asquith government, even if the women’s suffrage amendment to the Manhood Suffrage Bill failed (as Asquith intends). Lansbury thought his re-election would leave him free to follow his conscience. But his timing was bad, he didn’t prepare his electorate (the working-class Bow & Bromley section of London) so his resignation just looked mercurial, the Labour Party disowned him, and his sole opponent, Reginald Blair (Tory), didn’t cooperate in making it the straight fight on the suffrage issue Lansbury wanted. Though Blair did use the slogan “No Petticoat Government!”, he mostly fought on other issues. Still, when Lansbury lost, the London Times claimed that on the one occasion the suffrage issue was actually squarely before the (male) voters, it lost. Lansbury continued to fight for women’s suffrage, spending some time in prison in 1913, where he hunger struck and was forcibly fed, and didn’t get back into Parliament until 1922. In 1931 he became leader of a rump Labour Party (the members who didn’t join Ramsay MacDonald (boo hiss)’s coalition National Government).

A large strike in St Petersburg to protest the death sentences imposed on 17 sailors of the Black Fleet for mutiny.

To celebrate the recovery of Tsarevitch Alexei, the Tsar pardons an army private who was sentenced to life imprisonment for stepping out of line to hand the tsar a petition (about what, we do not know).

Austria and Italy are mobilizing their navies and armies, to prevent Serbian troops entering Albania.

Headline of the Day -100: “‘Magic Flute’ to Be Revived.” Sounds like the subject line of a spam email.

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Daily Telegraphy: Boiled eggs and maggots

More news from the world’s leading newspaper.

“The Prince of Wales Does Not Have Seven Eggs for Breakfast, Insists Palace.” The story, which the Royal Family strenuously denies, is that he has seven eggs boiled and labeled according to cooking length, then chooses one of them to eat.

Nadine “Mad Nad” Dorries, a Tory MP since 2005, hitherto mostly known for proposing various forms of anti-abortion legislation, has taken some criticism (and been suspended from the Conservative Party) for taking several weeks off from her job of legislatin’ to appear on I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here. Everyone in the country, including her colleagues, phoned in to vote for her to be buried in a coffin with cockroaches and maggots. It did not go well.

(Update: more British news. In addition to the guy arrested by the Kent police for “malicious telecommunications” for posting a picture of a poppy being set on fire, “In Bristol, a man who skateboarded alongside a Remembrance Sunday parade wearing a pink outfit and horned mask has been charged under the Public Order Act”.)

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Today -100: November 12, 1912: Where the nuts come from

Woodrow Wilson is considering calling a special session of Congress to revamp the tariff system. Otherwise, it will be over a year until Congress meets again.

Ohio discovers that four prisoners that were transferred from the state prison to the state hospital decades ago after being found insane were just left there, although their terms were up as long as 33 years ago. Normally it takes computers to fuck things up that badly.

California’s votes are still being counted and the presidential race has been going back and forth (Spoiler alert: Roosevelt will win, 283,610 to Wilson’s 283,436, with Eugene Debs coming 3rd with 79,201, 11.7% of the vote). The Democrats are trying to have all the votes from LA County thrown out, on the grounds that someone opened the envelope containing the precinct tally books and ballots.

English Actor W. S. Penley, originator of the title role in “Charley’s Aunt,” dies.

Filthy Headline of the Day -100, If You Read It Too Quickly (NYT): “Kaiser Felicitates Greeks.”

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Today -100: November 11, 1912: Of balloonist spies and peculiar donkeys

The Great Powers are telling Bulgaria that its army will absolutely not be permitted to occupy Constantinople (just temporarily, until peace negotiations are completed, the Bulgars/Bulgarians are saying, getting rather ahead of themselves).

Headline of the Day -100 (NYT front page): “Balloonist Held as Spy.” An American blown off course wound up in Russia. He was held five days.

Headline of the Day -100 That I Didn’t Feel It Necessary to Click On (LAT): “Chinese Donkeys Are Peculiar.”

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Today -100: November 10, 1912: Of independence, judicial recall, parades, and hemophiliacs

President Taft intends to work for the rest of his term (which ends next March) and afterwards fighting against independence for the Philippines (which the Democrat platform called for). Not exactly Jimmy Carter, is what I’m saying. He’s especially worried that an independent Philippines would confiscate land owned by missionaries.

Taft, you may recall, vetoed statehood for Arizona until the provision for popular recall of judges was removed from the constitution. But in this week’s election, Arizonans voted to put it back in.

A suffrage parade marches down Fifth Avenue in New York City at night, with orange lanterns, in celebration of the four new suffrage states (actually three: everyone still thinks women’s suffrage passed in Michigan).

LAT cartoon, 11/19/12:

The Russian monarchy admits that Tsarevitch Alexei is a hemophiliac.

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