Today -100: September 20, 1922: Harding to World War Veterans: Drop Dead

Pres. Harding vetoes the bonus bill. He objects to distributing, “whether inspired by grateful sentiment or political expediency,” so much money to a mere 5 million people out of 110 million Americans, “a bonus which the soldiers themselves, while serving in the World War, did not expect.”

In the Democratic primaries in Erie County, New York, William Randolph Hearst gets exactly zero (0) delegates in his gubernatorial run. Pundits think that might not portend well for him.

The US will keep out of the whole Near East thing, diplomatically and militarily.

Kemal Pasha informs France that he won’t attack Constantinople or the neutral zone along the Dardanelles if Turkey is allowed to take eastern Thrace, including Constantinople and Adrianople.

The Bulgarian prime minister announces that King Boris is looking to marry a rich, beautiful, rich, young, rich American girl. He doesn’t have anyone in particular in mind. 

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Today -100: September 19, 1922: Of applications, Turk-fighting, studios, graciousness, and technicolor

For the first time, the Harvard entrance application asks students for their race and color, and whether they or their father have changed their name (presumably looking for secret Jews).

Britain sends its Atlantic Fleet to the Mediterranean to keep the bloody Turk out of the Dardanelles

The Canadian government deflects Britain’s request for troops to fight the bloody Turk, saying public opinion would demand a vote by the Canadian Parliament first. 

Artists in NYC are hard-pressed for studio space as bootleggers have been taking over studio apartments in Greenwich Village.

Former kaiser Wilhelm, or as his press statement describes him, “His Majesty, the Kaiser and King” has “graciously decided to contract a second marriage” with Princess Hermine Reuss of Greiz. Graciously?

Hungary joins the League of Nations. 

A company called Technicolor Inc has been formed to produce color movies. Didn’t know the term was that old.

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Today -100: September 18, 1922: Fiendish tortures are the worst kind of tortures

France and Italy fail to back Britain’s threat of military force against Turkey to keep the Straits (the Dardanelles) open. The Daily Mail isn’t too thrilled either, noting that Lloyd George’s planning for a new war against Turkey has reached the stage of trying to get the Dominions to send troops for Gallipoli 2: This Time It’s Personal. 

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Bavaria bans tourists (it’s a falling-mark thing).

Lev Kamenev is now the “substitute president of the Cabinet of Ministers and Council of Labor and Defence” in place of Lenin.

The Danish film Häxan premieres. It’s about witches.

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Today -100: September 17, 1922: Smyrna RIP

“Smyrna no longer exists,” exaggerates the Associated Press. And Greece claims that the Turks have massacred 100,000 Christians.

It’s not the first time a D.W. Griffith film has stirred controversy because of its depictions of history, but the people pissed off this time are French royalists, who disturb a Paris showing of Orphans of the Storm because of its depiction of pre-Revolution France. Griffith claims he was just following Dickens, whose A Tale of Two Cities was not the basis for this film. Remember: whenever in doubt, blame Dickens.

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Today -100: September 16, 1922: Turks will be Turks

Des Moines sheriff Rev. Winfred Robb resigned his pastorate so he could carry out (well, botch) an execution. It is believed he is the first ordained minister in US history to act as an executioner. He’s running for Congress, by the way. As a Democrat. He will lose.

A NYT editorial on the fires in Smyrna is entitled “Turks Will Be Turks.”

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The sticks with nails are used to skewer hats.

Can’t help noticing a lot of ads in today’s paper for non-straw hats.

There’s an ad for Ben Hecht’s book Gargoyles, which I haven’t read but will. Here are its first words:

The calendars said—1900. It was growing warm. George Cornelius Basine emerged from Madam Minnie's house of ill fame at five o'clock on a Sabbath May morning. He was twenty-five years old, neatly dressed, a bit unshaven and whistling valiantly, "Won't you come home, Bill Bailey, won't you come home?"

A 1922 book which mentions an alliterative brothel in the 3rd sentence has to be well worth reading, right?

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Today -100: September 15, 1922: Of Oklahomahoovian justice and... skin worms?

Elias Ridge, a black boy, is sentenced to die in the electric chair in Oklahoma in two months time for killing a white farmer’s wife, one Wellington Adair, if I have her first name right (mostly she’s referred to, even in court rulings, as Mrs George Adair). I say boy because Elias Ridge is 13 years and 8 months old. His brother-in-law will later be convicted for his involvement – evidently he promised Elias a pig for killing her. A stay will be issued on the day he was scheduled to be executed. Authorities will continue to try to prove that he’s older than his actual age. The appeals court will overturn the death sentence and he will die in prison in 1933, which is suspiciously young. George Adair will commit suicide on the 17th anniversary of his wife’s murder.

The Greek and Armenian sectors of Smyrna are on fire.

Kemal Pasha names Constantinople as his next target, and suggests Britain get its pale ass out of it. Also Adrianople, Thrace...

Following up on removing the word “obey” from the marriage ceremony, the Episcopal Church turns to the burial service and removes the phrase “and though after my skin worms destroys this body”. And the service can now be read over suicides. But divorced Episcopalians are banned from remarrying and all Episcopalians are banned from marrying divorced people unless the divorce was for infidelity. They also pass a resolution against the KKK.

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Today -100: September 14, 1922: Of mandates, duels, mad anti-hatters, and babbitts

The Universal Negro Improvement Association, which used to be Marcus Garvey’s group but is no longer, applies to the League of Nations for a mandate over some part of Africa, possibly taking over the British mandate in South West Africa, where the British distinguished themselves by bombing villages over the non-payment of dog licenses.

There is a question as to whether Hungary’s law restricting the number of Jews attending universities applies to refugees. Somehow this argument has resulted in the rector of Budapest University challenging the rector of the University of Szegedin to a duel, with swords.

The straw hat season is over, or will be on the 15th, so “rowdies” throughout New York City smash people’s hats, as was the custom. There are straw hat bonfires. Magistrate Peter (ahem) Hatting fines 7 hat-smashers $5 each before threatening that the next defendants will go to jail.

Gov. Thomas Hardwick of Georgia is defeated for re-election in the Democratic primaries due to his opposition to the Ku Klux Klan, losing to actual klansman Clifford Walker. 

Sinclair Lewis’s Babbitt is published.

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Today -100: September 13, 1922: Of obedience, terrors of the air, seltzer, and bleases

The bishops of the Episcopal Church remove the word “obey” from their marriage ceremony.

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The long-range (1,000 miles) bomber “Cubaroo.”

Muslims in British India are elated over Turkey’s defeat of Greece and want it to retain as much territory as possible.

The new Miss America doesn’t use cosmetics.

The New York Society for the Suppression of Vice’s prosecution of Thomas Seltzer by for publishing D.H. Lawrence’s Women in Love and other books, and a librarian for lending A Young Girl’s Diary, is dismissed by a NYC magistrate.

The attempt of Coleman Blease, who long-term readers will remember from his term as racist-even-by-South-Carolina-standards governor (1911-15), to return to the office of racist-even-by-South-Carolina-standards governor ends when he loses the Democratic primary.

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Today -100: September 12, 1922: The Greasy Turkey War?

France and Britain backed different sides in the Greco-Turko War or whatever it’s called, but they agree that Turkey cannot be allowed control of the Dardanelles.

Eleutherios Venizelos, who was Greece’s prime minister until he was forced into exile after King Alexander died of a monkey bite, has some demands before he’ll consider returning, including the abdication of King Constantine, the resignation of the government, and a plebiscite to see if Greece wants him back, which just sounds needy to me.

The luxuriantly named Nikolaos Triantafyllakos is sworn in as Greek prime minister.

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Today -100: September 11, 1922: I am confidently expecting a demonstration of your known virtues of patriotism and concord

Before Turkish troops entered Smyrna, their planes dropped leaflets advising the population to remain calm and “support the Turkish cause by joining the Nationalist movement. Or else.” I may have added that last bit.

Kemal Pasha refuses to guarantee to the League of Nations that victorious Turkish troops won’t commit massacres in Asia Minor. Or to put it another way, they’re about to start massacring Armenians.

And there’s typhus, because of course there’s typhus.

Returning Greek troops are piiiiiissed. King Constantine issues a proclamation about this “terrible trial” and the army’s “glorious deeds” (well, they did run away quite quickly). Conny says “I am confidently expecting a demonstration of your known virtues of patriotism and concord,” by which he means “please don’t riot and force me to abdicate.”

Bolivia, following Peru’s lead, withdraws from the League of Nations General Assembly, pissed that the Chilean Agustín Edwards has been elected League of Nations president.

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A  review of The Hound of the Baskervilles, the Eille Norwood movie adaptation (I’ve seen one or two of his Sherlock Holmes shorts, but not this one) suggests that “Maybe the Doyle stories are not suitable screen material.” Or maybe Norwood just sucked.

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Today -100: September 10, 1922: Of smyrnas, presidents, and fords

Greece surrenders Smyrna to the Turks.

The Irish Dáil elects William Cosgrave president of the Irish Free State.

Henry Ford will start firing employees with alcohol on their breath.

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Today -100: September 9, 1922: Of dog taxes, smyrnas, princesses, and trustees for the deity,

The League of Nations discusses whether South Africa’s League mandate over Southwest Africa gives it the right to drop bombs on Hottentots refusing to pay dog tax. Let’s unpack that: the Bondelswarts are rejecting a very high cash tax on their herding & hunting dogs (£1 for one dog, rising to £10 for 5). The idea, like all cash taxes in colonies, is to force the natives to work (cheaply) for the South African settlers who moved in to steal land. The bombing killed scores and soldiers burned Bondelswarts huts. This is brought to the attention of the Assembly by the delegate from Haiti.

The Greek Greek Commissioner “hands over” Smyrna to the Allies and then runs for his life.

Princess Hermin of Reuss-Greiz is back! Visiting ex-kaiser Wilhelm at Doorn! Engaging in animated conversation! Ex-crown prince Friedrich Wilhelm has also shown up, presumably to try to talk his randy father down.

Attorney General Harry Daugherty agrees to return funds seized as alien property during the war. Since they were owned by the Reformed Church of Hungary, he says it’s really God who owns them (the church is “trustee for the deity for religious purposes”), so it would be sacrilegious to keep them.

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Today -100: September 8, 1922: Of royal matches, juices, and blossoms

Greece asks for an armistice, which the Turks are unlikely to give because they’re, you know, winning. The Greek government resigns.

Ex-kaiser Wilhelm is considering marrying Princess Hermin of Reuss-Greiz; his family is trying to get him not to. For a start, she comes burdened with 5 children from her first marriage. Plus, she isn’t of royal birth; she’s only durchlaut, which is a rank above noble but below royal, and German royalists are super-snobby about shit like that. We’ve come across the two principalities, states, statelets, whatever, of Reuss before, by the way, they’re the ones where all the males of the royal family are named Heinrich and have been since c.1200 AD; thus, Hermin’s father was Prince Heinrich XXII, whose brothers were Heinrich XXI and Heinrich XXIII. It’s thought that Willy’s been dissuaded from the match, but it won’t stick. Both have recently lost their spouses (hers fell off a horse, as was the custom). She’s 34 and he’s 63.

A black man named O.J. Johnson, “twice tried on a charge of murder,” is lynched in Newton, Texas.

Brazil celebrates the 100th anniversary of independence.

Sarah Winchester, of Winchester Mystery House fame, dies.

At the second Miss America pageant, the prettiest contestant is named as... wait for it... Thelma Blossom of Indianapolis. She won’t be Miss America though; the crown will go to a 16-year-old who lied about her age. What the hell is a rolling chair parade, anyway? 

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Today -100: September 7, 1922: Imprescriptible rights are the imprescriptiblest rights

The Vatican is livid about the Earl of Balfour’s proposal for safeguarding the holy places in Palestine, because Catholics will only be a minority on the sub-commissions. It threatens that Catholic countries will “safeguard the ancient and imprescriptible rights of the Catholic Church in the Holy Land.”

As the final loss of Greece in its war with Turkey draws near, Britain, France, Italy, and the US are sending warships to Smyrna to protect their nationals. The NYT, in an editorial entitled “The White Man’s Burden,” says that Britain, France & Italy have “the responsibility of defending civilized European peoples against a hopelessly unprogressive Asiatic foe.” (To be fair, the hopelessly unprogressive Asiatics are celebrating their victory with a massacre of Armenians and various other Christians, including some American citizens.)

In another op-ed page appeal to civilization, the NYT accuses the railroad employees of “Uncivilized Strike Methods.” Which consist of, um, striking. Did you know that if RR workers don’t work, the RRs don’t run? Fact Check: True.

Rumors that Éamon de Valera and Erskine Childers have been captured. Fact Check: Not so True. Also, “two reliable men” tell the Chicago Tribune that Arthur Griffith’s body has been exhumed and... he was poisoned. Fact Check: Oh, what do you think?

Vice President Coolidge is booed at the Minnesota State Fair, loudly enough that he is forced to stop his speech. Nothing against the veep, I think, they just want the racing to start.

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Today -100: September 6, 1922: And in the box there was...

A. Philip Randolph, editor of the negro magazine The Messenger, receives a box containing a white human hand and a letter signed “K.K.K.” I think they’re annoyed that Randolph writes about lynchings.

The Texas Democratic State Convention rejects resolutions condemning the KKK.

Greece issues reports of victories in its war with Turkey, but actually its soldiers are running away just as fast as their little legs can carry them.

The Anti-Saloon League cheers the retirement of Supreme Court Justice John Hessin Clarke, who gave a speech in February saying prohibition hurt respect for the law.

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Today -100: September 5, 1922: Of justices, phosphates, and squaws

Supreme Court Justice John Hessin Clarke, a Wilson appointee, resigns, effective in a couple of weeks on his 65th birthday. He plans to campaign for the US to join the League of Nations and to enjoy not having to see Justice McReynolds every day.  Harding will nominate his friend and campaign adviser, former senator George Sutherland of Utah, to replace him. Sutherland is not a Mormon, by the way; all senators from Utah since him have been Mormons. He will move the Court to the right.

Greece, losing its war against Turkey, claims the Soviets are backing Turkey. The article says General Trikoupis, the commander-in-chief, has been “replaced.” It neglects to elucidate that he has been captured by the Turks.

The Third Assembly of the League of Nations opens, and will get stuck into the work of determining whether Britain, Australia and New Zealand are violating the terms of their joint L of N mandate over Nauru by establishing a monopoly of bird shit.

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Also 10 buckets of war paint and several bales of feathers.

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Today -100: September 4, 1922: Of derision while drunk, tanks, and restoring order

Attorney Gen. Harry Daugherty’s injunction against railroad strikers is put to use to nab dangerous miscreants: one Hugh Noonan is arrested in Chicago, “alleged to have derided railroad employees bound for work”. He will be released because he was drunk.

The Turks are defeating the Greeks in, um, whatever their war is called. And they’re using tanks, which sounds like a first for Turkey. There’s a turducken joke in there somewhere, probably, and if you can come up with it, post it in comments.

Communists demonstrate on Berlin’s Kurfürstendamm and get into scuffles. Since the cops don’t carry night-sticks but only guns, rifles, and... hand grenades... hand grenades, really? they “could do nothing else to restore order but fire into the crowd.” 

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Today -100: September 3, 1922: Of public welfare, lynchings, and talk radio

The coal strike is settled, on the old pay scale for a year, without the wage cuts the owners wanted. This isn’t being presented as a win for the miners but as everyone complying with Harding’s letter calling for everyone to agree “in the name of the public welfare.”

A black man is lynched near Winder, Georgia.

William Jennings Bryan says radio will be a great boon to the Democrats, since it will give equal time to the parties, compared with newspapers, which are Republican. Also he wants to divide colleges into Christian, atheist, or agnostic, depending on whether they want to teach evolution, and students could choose a college which doesn’t threaten their existing beliefs. Win win.

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Today -100: September 2, 1922: There comes a time in the history of all nations when the people must be advised whether they have a government or not

Without any advanced warning or hint, Attorney General Harry Daugherty gets an injunction against railroad strikers, forbidding them interfering in any way with the operation of RR’s. Daugherty says “there comes a time in the history of all nations when the people must be advised whether they have a government or not.” He talks about the sacred Open Shop, a lot. He compares the “right to work” with the right not to be compelled to work. So unions are just as bad as slavery, or something. The American Federation of Labor will consider responding with a general strike.

The US refuses to adhere to a League of Nations plan to restrict private arms sales, effectively killing it.

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Today -100: September 1, 1922: Of bonuses, consulates, and ghosts

The Bonus Bill passes the Senate, with 27 R’s and 20 D’s voting in favor. Harding is expected to veto it.

The State Dept denies that Gen. Enoch Crowder was directed to issue that ultimatum to Cuba and he probably wouldn’t have done it all on his own, er, would he?

Britain orders the US consulate in Newcastle closed because its consul and vice consul were refusing visas to Brits traveling to the US unless they used American steamship lines. Which I assume means they were bribed to do so, but the officials are simply transferred to other countries.

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The alleged g&g supposedly being at 1587 Atlantic Ave., Brooklyn, the site of a former roadhouse, in a building now being torn down, whose owner’s spirit appeared to a woman and mentioned having buried gold in it.

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