A disaster? No, really? You do say.

In an interview on Al Jazeera, Tony Blair agrees with David Frost that Iraq has been a “disaster,” saying, “It has, but you see what I say to people is why is it difficult in Iraq? It’s not difficult because of some accident in planning, it’s difficult because there’s a deliberate strategy - al-Qa’ida with Sunni insurgents on one hand, Iranian-backed elements with Shia militias on the other - to create a situation in which the will of the majority for peace is displaced by the will of the minority for war.” That’s just so wonderfully Blairish, how he makes it sound like he’s offering some profound insight, when what he’s actually saying is just that war is a lot easier if no one fights back.

George Bush, meanwhile, is still in Hanoi, and honestly, if he just remembers which Koreans are the “good guys” and which ones are the “bad guys,” we’ll consider ourselves lucky. Fortunately, after meeting the South Korean president, Bush said, “We had a discussion like you would expect allies to have a discussion.” Sounds very alliancy.

The chimp and the tiger

Simultaneous news stories report that Britain and the Netherlands used torture techniques in the interrogation of Iraqi prisoners. In the case of the British military, which called the torture “conditioning,” the reports say that there were specific orders from high up, while a Dutch defense ministry spokesmodel claims that that was not the case with their torturers, and that although the incidents, which took place three years ago, were reported to the military police, the defense minister may, or on the other hand may not, even have been informed: “It happened a long time ago and you cannot remember everything.”

Those are words George W. Bush lives by every day, but especially so when visiting Vietnam, which he says “shows how hopeful the world can be and how people can reconcile and move beyond past difficulties for the common good.” Carpet bombing, Agent Orange, My Lai, you know, difficulties. He says his impression of Vietnam is, “it’s very hopeful” and “like a young tiger” (a hopeful young tiger, presumably), and that “In our drive through this beautiful city we were pleased to see thousands of your citizens with smiles on their faces. And we’re so grateful.” That it’s not 1969.


Speaking of grateful, he put a positive spin on John McCain’s 5½ years as a prisoner of war: “And one of the most poignant moments of the drive in was passing the lake where John McCain got pulled out of the lake. And he’s a friend of ours; he suffered a lot as a result of his imprisonment, and yet, we passed the place where he was, literally, saved, in one way, by the people pulling him out.” I hope McCain at least sent them a thank you note.

He also explained for the Australian press the meaning of the mid-term elections: “The elections mean that the American people want to know whether or not we have a plan for success”. How does that actually work, how do you vote for a question? Is Congress now dominated by the “Hey, Just Out of Curiosity, Do We Have, Like, a Plan for Success?” party?

And he praised Australia’s evil prime minister John Howard: “That’s why I’m so proud to have a partner like John Howard who understands it’s difficult to get the job done.”

To change the subject slightly, I went to the market and noticed that there are now something like 5,000 varieties of apple. When I grew up there were, I don’t know, red ones and green ones. They’ve succeeded in making apples complicated and confusing, and that’s just not right.

We’ll succeed unless we quit

The word being used to describe Trent Lott’s return to Republican leadership is “redemption.” John McCain, for example, said, “We all believe in redemption.” Just what is it that Lott is supposed to have done to redeem himself?

George Bush decided that Hanoi was the perfect place to talk about applying the lessons of the Vietnam War to Iraq. “We’ll succeed unless we quit,” he said, suggesting that the US hadn’t done enough to destroy the country whose guest he was. Around this time, the Vietnamese must have been sorry they didn’t have an even bigger bust of Ho Chi Minh to stick behind him as a reminder of just who kicked whose butt.

Today in censorship

Iran bans the novels The Da Vinci Code, Girl With a Pearl Earring, and Faulkner’s As I Lay Dying, among others.

China won’t ban Casino Royale, the first Bond movie ever permitted to play there.

Turkey has suspended military relations with France in retaliation for France banning Armenian Genocide denial.

In a suburb of Budapest where the town council suspended a newspaper and a tv station for alleged bias, the mayor has hired town criers. That’s what Iran needs: town criers ringing bells and reciting The Da Vinci Code.

I hated Iraqis

One of the rapists/mass murderers in the Mahmudiya incident, Spc. James Barker, has pled guilty and was sentenced to life or 90 years, whichever comes first. The judge asked why he did it. “I hated Iraqis, your honor.” This, to borrow a line from Atrios, has been another edition of simple answers to simple questions.

He went on: “They can smile at you, then shoot you in your face without even thinking about it.” I’m not sure if a guy who raped a 14-year-old girl, burned her body and killed her whole family should really be pointing fingers. Or possibly it was just the smiling that he objected to.

As an experiment, I’m using the labels feature of Beta Blogger for the first time, allowing you to read my previous posts on this incident. It’s an attractive feature, especially for a blog with 3,402 posts going back over a decade, a way to make those archives useful. I was looking back over some of my old Trent Lott posts just yesterday, for example. Good times, good times. But attaching labels to 3,402 posts seems very much like work. I’m also worried that republishing those posts, like I just did for the Mahmudiya posts, will be obnoxious for RSS users. Opinions? suggestions?

Contrary to what a lot of other people believe

I thought that Gen. Abizaid must not own a dress uniform, but no, yesterday he testified before the Senate Armed Services Committee in one, showing the committee the respect he failed on Monday to show the Iraqi prime minister, who he sorta praised to the committee: “I believe, contrary to what a lot of other people believe, that he is an Iraqi patriot”.



He also said that he didn’t think more American troops would be a good idea, but that they should step up “training” the Iraqis. Because those who can, do, and those who can’t, teach.

Last night, at the American Spectator’s annual dinner, Rumsfeld praised Milton Friedman, “who’s still going strong.” Within hours, Friedman was dead. Coincidence? I think not.

It’s still all about what you wear on your head

India and Pakistan have come to some sort of deal to share intelligence about terrorism (which no one thinks they’ll actually do) and to prevent an accidental nuclear war between the two countries, which is very important because that’s the most likely location for the planet’s next nuclear war. So it is perhaps a little sad that my reason for writing about it is to post these pictures of the Beating the Retreat ritual at the border (the Pakistani troops are in black), but these are the things a blogger is called upon to do.




And as long as we’re focusing on people in funny costumes, the Queen’s Speech was given today (yesterday she was at the premiere of Casino Royale, possibly in the same clothes; these are the things an octogenarian modern monarch is called upon to do).


Pakistan has moved to eliminate the death penalty and flogging for illicit sex, in favor of five-year prison sentences. Also, if you’ve heard that rape victims will no longer have to produce 4 male witnesses, you heard wrong. At the judge’s discretion, the case may be heard in a secular or sharia court, the latter retaining the nearly impossible evidence requirements. Whether victims who fail to make their cases will still be subject to adultery charges and those five-year jail terms, I’m not sure.

The “new” faces of the Republican party. I’m a very happy blogger right now.



Now for our poll of the day week month whenever I’m bored:

Which is the silliest ceremonial head covering?
	Those fan thingies on the soldiers' hats
	QE2's crown
	Trent's toupee
Free polls from Pollhost.com

Wherein is explained what the Republican party stands for

Yesterday Bush told Ken Mehlman that he had done “a whale of a job” as chair of the RNC, adding, “Of course it turned out he wasn’t so much a killer whale as a sperm whale, if you know what I mean.”

No? Well feel free to try your hand at responding to what he said two sentences later: “I appreciate the fact that you went to neighborhoods where Republicans have never been to talk to people about our message of ownership and hope.”

Mehlman will be replaced by Sen. Mel Martinez, who Bush says “represents what I believe our party stands for, and that is his parents put him on a plane to come to the United States from Cuba because they love freedom.”

Bush and Putin met during a refueling stop at Vnukovo International Airport. As ever when those two meet, Bush stares rapt into Putin’s soul eyes, while Laura stares into space, and Lyudmila Putin stares into existential despair.

What is happening is not terrorism

I’m not sure what definition of terrorism Iraqi PM Maliki is using, but it evidently doesn’t extend to today’s mass kidnapping from the Higher Education Ministry, according to remarks which were televised before the kidnappees were rescued: “What is happening is not terrorism, but the result of disagreements and conflict between militias belonging to this side or that.” Between militias? Possibly there is a Scientific Research and Grant Application Militia, and if so I’m sure it’s quite fierce, but if not, then this was an attack on civilians aimed at spreading terror. Whether a similar attack by a Sunni militia on a ministry run a Shiite party would have met Maliki’s strict standards for consideration as a terrorist act remains unclear. Maliki is acting increasingly openly as the front man and apologist for the Shiite militias.

Adnan Pachachi (remember him? me neither.) said of the kidnapping: “There is evidence of a systematic and very sad attempt to drain Iraq of its brains.” The Zombie Militia responded by issuing this press release: “Braaaaaains.”

Maliki & Abizaid talk about...

CentCom Gen. Abizaid put on his best Sunday-go-to-meeting camo fatigues to meet with Iraqi PM Maliki, sit in comical chairs, and discuss... things.


What things? There are two versions. The Iraqi government says the meeting was about how to counter Iranian and Syrian interference in Iraq and to “reaffirm” Bush’s commitment to success in Iraq, something which has to be done every few days because the Iraqis are just that needy and clingy and it doesn’t count if he reaffirms his commitment because they ask, oh no, it has to be “spontaneous,” and could it hurt to bring home some flowers or some nice chocolates every so often, and I see the way you look at that slut Afghanistan and...

Anyway, that was the official story. But other Iraqis leaked that it was for Abizaid to warn Maliki to disband Shiite militias, and ask him for a firm... wait for it... timetable for Iraqi security forces to take control of the country and proof that they’ll be able to handle it. That version of the talks sounds very stern and scoldy.

There is no official American line about what was discussed, which in the context of these Rashomonic competing unreliable narrators, suggests a willingness to have it be thought that Abizaid dressed Maliki down.

What on earth is Ed Meese doing on the Iraq Study Group?

The ideological struggle between extremists and radicals versus people who just simply want to live in peace

For George Bush today, it was all about the people who couldn’t get into his father’s country club: the blacks and the Jews. First he attended the groundbreaking of the Martin Luther King Jr National Memorial. What do you suppose Al Sharpton said to him?


Then he met with Israeli PM Olmert, who he said “cares deeply about securing the peace.” Evidently, the US and Israel are both “involved in an ideological struggle between extremists and radicals versus people who just simply want to live in peace”. Some ideologies are more complicated than other ideologies, I guess.


He explained American politics to Olmert: “You might realize the opposition party won, won the Senate and the House.” Doesn’t that make them no longer the opposition party? “And what’s interesting is, is that they’re beginning to understand that with victory comes responsibilities.” I seem to detect a touch of grim satisfaction that the Dems will now be stuck with the mess he created.

On Iraq, he explained, “I believe it is very important, though, for people making suggestions to recognize that the best military options depend upon the conditions on the ground.” Carl von Clausewitz, he ain’t.

Do not confuse the workings of American democracy with a lack of American will

Bush has said a couple of times this week, including in his weekly radio address, “I have a message for these enemies: Do not confuse the workings of American democracy with a lack of American will.” Now who would have given them the idea that a Democratic win was a sign of a lack of American will?

But what of the workings of Iraqi democracy? Remember how Iraq’s elections were followed by months and months of negotiations to form a government? Maliki thinks it’s time for a cabinet reshuffle.

The neocon retreat from the Iraq war comes with a lesson, according to Kenneth Adelman in that Vanity Fair article: “the idea of using our power for moral good in the world” is dead. Yes, that’s it, we’ve been too idealistic, really just too good and kind and decent for this wicked world, and it’s time to start looking out for number one.

Next time we go to war, we’re gettin’ us some oil, baby!

Happy Veterans Veterans’ Veteran’s Day

This may be a stupid question, but why was Bush celebrating Veterans Day at Arlington? Veterans Day is about living former service members; the dead ones have Memorial Day.



Possibly he went to visit the Tomb of the Unknown Punctuation Mark in which America buried the apostrophe that belongs in “Veterans Day.”

In Britain it’s called Armistice Day, and this is how the Queen spent it.

Awe and reverence

Atrios asks, about Iraq, “Isn’t there a wee contradiction between spreading freedom and democracy and turning a country into a terrorist battlefield?” It’s called multi-tasking.

This is, as you know, the Blog of Record, so occasionally I must risk boring y’all by repeating something every other blog has, in this case Bush saying that “years from now, when America looks out on a democratic Middle East growing in freedom and prosperity, Americans will speak of the battles like Fallujah with the same awe and reverence that we now give to Guadalcanal and Iwo Jima.” The only awe I feel is at the sheer scale of Bush’s assholery in making that comparison. What the hell does he think happened in Fallujah that we’d ever revere?

In that speech, at the dedication of the Marine Corps Museum, he also said that the Japanese on Iwo Jima “had learned from costly battles that they could not defeat American forces. Yet, they believed that by inflicting maximum casualties on our forces, they would demoralize our nation and make America tire of war.” Of course he’s really talking about Iraq. Iwo Jima was in 1945, the Japanese did not think they were going to “demoralize” the United States into cutting and running.

The alliterative Gen. Peter Pace (who should be made to follow Rumsfeld out the door) today defined “winning” downwards yet again, to “provid[ing] governments in Iraq and Afghanistan and elsewhere with enough security capacity to keep the [terrorist] acts below a level at which their governments can function.” Dare to dream, alliterative Peter Pace, dare to dream!

The problems haven’t gone away

Bush and Cheney met with Senators Harry Reid and Dick Durbin today. Afterwards, Bush said, “The elections are over, the problems haven’t gone away.” Reid and Durbin refrained from saying, “No kidding, dickwad, we just met with two of them.”

Speaking of dickwads, if I announce a caption contest, can I trust you people to refrain from pointing out that both Bush and Reid brought a Dick to the meeting?

Historic

Bush met with Nancy Pelosi, and even used her name, out loud and everything, something he never did when attacking her during the campaign. He noted that she will be the first woman Speaker: “This is historic for our country. And as the father of young women, it is -- I think it’s important.” I like how he’s pretending that the silver cloud in Republo-Thumpin’ 2006 is that it opens doors for Jenna and Not-Jenna to stumble drunkenly through, so it will all have been worth it.

(Conrad) Burns and (George) Allen both conceded today. Say goodnight, Gracie.

I’m sure that joke isn’t original, but it was still satisfying to say.

For more on Robert Gates’s history, see this David Corn article and this one by Robert Parry. Gates is probably the best nominee we could have expected from Bush, but that’s not exactly setting the bar high.

I’m not sure what sort of Iraq exit strategy Gates is supposed to be coming up with. I’ve been seeing a worrying number of people arguing, most recently Thomas Friedman in his column yesterday (Times Select is free this week, by the way, although you needn’t bother with the Friedman) for attempting one big final push before giving it up as a bad job.

Meant to mention a commercial I heard from Florida’s 16th district, where Mark Foley was still on the ballot. It was informing voters that to vote for his replacement, they had to “punch Foley.” I detected a slight hint of glee in the emphasis on “punch.”

America at its best

Some random thoughts:

Holy Joe Lieberman was never going to be named secretary of war. You don’t think the Bushies actually have any respect for their useful idiot, do you?

Wouldn’t it be nice if the “independent” the D’s in the Senate had to court was Bernie Sanders rather than Holy Joe?

In his intelligence and national security posts under the Reagan and Bush I administrations, Gates was responsible for 1) passing intel to aid Saddam in the Iran-Iraq War (and overriding Commerce Dept calls for restrictions on sales of high-tech military hardware to Iraq in 1990), 2) trying to orchestrate the overthrow of Saddam after the Gulf War. Flip flopper.

I’ll be interested to see if Gates’s Iran-Contra role comes up, or whether American amnesia has consigned that sordid chapter to the misty past, like the Thirty Years’ War and the Battle of Hastings.

Ed Feulner of the Heritage Foundation has a newspaper column entitled, “A Tour of Guantanamo Prison Shows America at its Best.” I’d hate to see America’s worst.

Congress doesn’t just have its first Muslim member, but also its first Buddhists, Hank Johnson, replacing Cynthia McKinney, and Mazie Hirono in Hawaii.

In some sort of web epidemic recently, many bloggers seem to have lost the ability to distinguish between “whose” and “who’s.”

Thank you for playing Posture Play-Off

Care and restraint

Israel shelled a town in Gaza, killing 19, most of them women and children. The White House promptly issues a statement calling for both sides to “act with care and restraint.” I’m pretty sure those dead Palestinians are as “restrained” as they could possibly be.

The most important job Rick Santorum will ever have

So a fellow blogger who may not wish to be named sent me this picture of Rick Santorum and some of his huge creepy family gathered around him as he conceded, much as they once gathered around the corpse of their brother who died a couple of hours after his premature birth and whom the Santorums brought home to meet the family anyway.


At first I didn’t think I could post it because I would feel obligated to make fun of his... emotive 8-year old daughter Sarah with the doll wearing the same ugly dress she is, and like a sport fisher I generally like to throw the little Republicans back so I can mock them when they get bigger. Then I ran across this Santorum campaign ad featuring the Santorum children, and figured they were more or less fair game. Also, looking at some more pictures, I realized... she’s faking it.



If your face looks like that, but there is not a single tear, you are acting (also, you’d turn away from the crowd). Now, whether she figures that’s how she’s supposed to react, or she was given specific instructions to weep for the camera, I cannot say. Her brother, who is just old enough to remember the fetus incident, seems to have no trouble crying on cue.


Last year, Little Ricky published a book called It Takes a Family. Which is actually not a riposte to Hillary Clinton but, I believe, the last part of the old adage, “To err is human, but to really fuck someone up...” In that ad, little Sarah says that Rick always tells them that being their dad is the most important job he’ll ever have. I think we can agree that he’s just as good a dad as he was a senator.

(Update: Bob provides us with the theme song of the altogether ooky Santorum family [though personally I think Rick more resembles Fred Munster].)