Today -100: November 10, 1911: Of NM

Not-quite-state New Mexico elects a Democrat as governor. The Legislature will probably (pending final results) be an alliance of Democrats and Progressive Republicans. I could swear everyone thought NM would be Republican.

Burning question

If there isn’t a question in tonight’s debate about what the candidates think about Ronald Reagan fucking Piper Laurie, CNBC will have failed America.

In fact, this calls for a CONTEST: How would any (or all) of the candidates answer that question?

Today -100: November 9, 1911: Of Tories and atrocities

A.J. Balfour resigns the leadership of the British Unionist (Conservative) party for “health reasons.”

The NYT counts as Socialist victories in the election in Ohio not only all those mayors but also the election of delegates to the constitutional convention committed to the initiative and referendum. All this is highly embarrassing to Taft, whose home state is Ohio (he too is round on the ends and high in the middle).

The State Dept plans to ignore Turkey’s appeal to it over Italian atrocities (the Italian embassy’s response: “The Arabs are the ones who are guilty of atrocities against our soldiers.”)

I have never acted inappropriately with anyone, period

Herman Cain had a press conference today, which I’m sure cleared up this whole sexual harassment/assault thing once and for all to everyone’s satisfaction. Video:

PERIOD: “I have never acted inappropriately with anyone, period.”

Line up behind the rope line, ladies.

He watched yesterday’s Sharon Bialek press conference in a hotel room with a couple of staffers. Way to step up your game, Herman!

HE FORGOT THAT HE FORGOT: “I tried to remember if I remembered that name — and I didn’t.”

HE’S MORE OF A BREAST MAN: “I didn’t recognize the face.”

WHAT HE WILL NOT BE DETERRED BY: “And I will not be deterred by false, anonymous, incorrect accusations.” They’re false AND incorrect. And anonymous.

I THOUGHT HE SAID IT WAS RICK PERRY?? “the Democrat machine in America has brought forth a troubled woman to make false statements.” Oh no, the Democrats have a machine for making troubled women now!


I trust people will have noted that word “troubled,” in which Cain suggested mental illness in a woman he claims never to have met. Echoes of “a little bit nutty and a little bit slutty.”

The accusations “exceed common sense.”


He quotes his wife, “and this is a direct quote.” Evidently he called up his wife yesterday to ask her what she thought of Bialek’s press conference – and he took notes on what she said. After assuring us that his family, none of whom is present, totally believes him, he hastily implores the media not to “drag my family into this.”

He would certainly submit to a polygraph, “But I’m not going to do that unless I have a good reason to do that.” He doesn’t explain what a good reason would be.


TURNED OFF: “It is natural that some voters will be turned off by the mere mention of the accusations.” Maybe with the right music and some wine...

NO FUCKING KIDDING: “In no way have I tried to minimize sexual harassment in the workplace.”

Actually, the question was about whether he’s ever seen sexual harassment, and what he says is that he’s seen instances that could be interpreted as sexual harassment.

He’s even seen women attempting to sexually harass men.

He goes on again about the pay-offs to his alleged victims being “agreements” rather than “settlements,” because a settlement would have legal implications. Er, doesn’t a non-disclosure agreement have “legal implications”?

There’s “a machine to keep a businessman out of the White House.” See, this is why unemployment is so high: the processes of bringing forth troubled women and keeping businessmen out of the White House have been mechanized, putting American workers out of good unionized jobs.


Asked to back up this conspiracy theory, he says he can only “infer” that there are dark forces arrayed against him. Then he says it’s “common sense” to suggest that because Sharon Bialek has had money problems in the past, she’s being paid off to make false accusations. It’s just common sense. Or, you know, slander.

Later in the day, or possibly earlier, he was interviewed by ABC.

He asked, very reasonably, “How can I defend charges when I don’t remember this person by name”? In fact, he doesn’t even remember “this person’s” name from seeing her on the tv yesterday, since he never uses it.

CAIN IS ALWAYS BRAGGING ABOUT HIS “BIG POINT”: “But the big point is, I have never acted inappropriately with anyone.”

DIDN’T CHASING THEM GET YOU INTO TROUBLE IN THE FIRST PLACE? “You know, to constantly be chasing anonymous accusers, baseless accusations, is a distraction from the big issues we oughta be talkin’ about.”

An “element” “really don’t want to see an unconventional candidate that is connecting with the people and putting bold solutions on the table.” Is that what the kids are calling it these days.


BY THE NUMBERS: His wife supports him 200%, his campaign does not have a cajillion dollars, his name recognition is now 99.9.

Reporters trying to get his relatives to comment on this “has no place in politics. It has no place in America.”

NYT: When Karen Kraushaar left the National Restaurant Association after filing charges against Cain, “some staff members were told that Ms. Kraushaar had suffered an injury after falling off a mule”.

Sign sign sign!

Please sign this White House petition at once.

(Update: the petition is now gone from the White House site. It said: We demand a vapid, condescending, meaningless, politically safe response to this petition.

Since these petitions are ignored apart from an occasional patronizing and inane political statement amounting to nothing more than a condescending pat on the head, we the signers would enjoy having the illusion of success. Since no other outcome to this process seems possible, we demand that the White House immediately assign a junior staffer to compose a tame and vapid response to this petition, and never attempt to take any meaningful action on this or any other issue. We would also like a cookie.)

Today -100: November 8, 1911: Of elections, boodle, campaigns, anti-Mormon silver services, lynchings, and Nobel prizes

The 1911 elections:
-Socialist mayors elected in 10 cities in Ohio, 2 in Pennsylvania, and Schenectady, NY. The Socialists also account for 10% of the vote in Chicago and Cook County.
-Republicans take control of the NY Assembly, reversing the D victory of 1910, and both houses of the NJ Legislature, seriously damaging Woodrow Wilson’s chances of ever becoming president (perhaps if he’d stayed in his own state instead of touring the country...).
-Massachusetts Gov. Eugene Foss (D) re-elected despite what he calls “the most scandalous boodle campaign ever waged in this state.”

Woodrow Wilson refuses to give his opinion on women’s suffrage.

The battle of the silver trays: A few months ago Mormons presented a silver service to the battleship Utah with images of Brigham Young, creating much dismay, presumably because there were too many tea cups for each saucer. Now, the National Anti-Mormon Committee has presented the same ship’s mess with an alternative silver service (122 pieces) which they hope will be used instead, featuring the image of a young girl who evidently symbolizes Utah.

British Prime Minister Asquith announces that instead of a women’s suffrage bill, his government will introduce one for universal male suffrage (no, they didn’t have that yet), which might be amended by Parliament to add women, if Parliament really wanted to do that. The suffragists are furious, rightly seeing this as a trick, and the Women’s Social and Political Union announces that it is resuming militancy.

“Judge” Moseley, a black man and therefore almost certainly not an actual judge, is lynched in Meridian, Mississippi, after hitting a white man with a stick.

Marie Curie wins the Nobel Prize for chemistry.

Misc

White House petition news: A petition asked Obama to acknowledge that extraterrestrials have visited the earth. The White House refuses. The cover-up continues.

Charles Pierce describes Twitt Romney as “a man who could be mugged for his wallet through the mail”.

Every day now I see stories about Berlusconi denying that he’s about to quit. This is ridiculous. Berlusconi’s whole strategy for staying out of prison is to hold onto political power and abuse it to distort the already distorted Italian criminal justice system. Of course he won’t leave power voluntarily.

Hugo Chavez calls Carlos the Jackal “a dignified bearer of the biggest struggles,” because if there’s one thing Hugo Chavez is an expert on, it’s dignity.

I’m always of two minds when “missing” film footage turns up, unless it’s from Greed or Metropolis. That said, 17 extra minutes of 2001: A Space Odyssey is one thing, the missing “flaming nipples” scene from Blue Velvet quite another.

Headline of the Day Not Involving Herman Cain (AP): “Peacocks, Prostitutes Found Inside Acapulco Prison.”

At various times today, AP headlines on Cain spoke of his “bold sexual advance” or more specifically “Woman Accuses Cain of Reaching for Genitals,” boldly. The Guardian daintily refers to “sexually inappropriate conduct.”

Herman Cain Accuser #4, Ms. Bialek, is white. NOW he’s over. #LikeYouWeren’tThinkingTheSameThing

Today -100: November 7, 1911: Of acquittals, prohibition, ultimata, women’s voters and women candidates

Back in March, Booker T. Washington was beaten up in NYC. Henry Ulrich, the man who did it, is acquitted, although he is immediately re-arrested on an outstanding desertion warrant. Ulrich, who found Dr. Washington in his apartment building looking at door plates, suggested he was a burglar, a pervert, or both. Washington said he was trying to locate a friend of his. The defense lawyer insisted, over the prosecutor’s objection, on asking whether that friend was white or black (he was white). One of the justices who acquitted Ulrich commented that Washington had no business in the building.

A recount of Maine’s September election decides that the state did vote for prohibition after all.

Russia sends an ultimatum to Persia. Something about an insult to its vice consul during the seizure of the house of the brother of the deposed shah (its guards were Cossacks). Russia wants an apology or it will occupy the provinces of Ghilan and Mazanderan.

Women’s suffrage came to California a little late for some of the 1912 elections, depending on local registration requirements, so that women will be barred from San Francisco’s municipal election tomorrow -100 but not LA’s election next month.

Taft goes to Ohio and votes early, including for a Miss Edith Campbell, running for the Cincinnati school board. This was the first time a president voted for a female candidate for public office. Campbell was elected. (She was also the first woman elected to a public office in Cincinnati.)

Today -100: November 6, 1911: Of Europeans and North Africa

The Ottoman Empire formally asks the US to intervene to stop Italian atrocities in Libya.

France is doing a victory lap over Morocco. Prime Minister Joseph Caillaux says it was puerile to suppose that such a vast country as Morocco, systematically closed to “civilization,” could continue to exist next door to French Algeria.

Today -100: November 5, 1911: Italy isn’t great at war; who’da guessed?

Italy, frustrated at the Turks’ failure to hand Libya over to them without a fight, are threatening to invade other parts of the Ottoman Empire, possibly the Dardanelles. The threat that this might destabilize the perennial “sick man of Europe” would force the Great Powers to slap Italy down, since no one wants the Empire to collapse, which would certainly result in a free-for-all in the Balkans and suchlike fun and games.

Obama and the Rebalancing Agenda of Doom

Obama gave a press conference today from the G20 meeting in Cannes (because nothing says “get used to the new age of austerity, suckers” like a bunch of world leaders partying in Cannes).

IT’S RAINING SO THERE PROBABLY WON’T BE ANY HOT TOPLESS CHICKS OUT: “we came to Cannes with no illusions.”


OBAMA DOESN’T WANT YOU TO MAKE A MISTAKE: “Make no mistake, there’s more hard work ahead and more difficult choices to make.”

THIS JUST STRUCK ME AS FUNNY: “All of us have an enormous interest in Europe’s success”.

IT INVOLVES BERLUSCONI AND THREE HOOKERS. YOU DON’T WANT TO KNOW. “We also made progress here in Cannes on our rebalancing agenda.”


By the way, Berlusconi was due to release a CD of himself singing love songs this week, but decided to postpone because the timing might look bad, as opposed to everything else Berlusconi has ever done.


Asked how all this would affect his re-election prospects, Obama lied, “Jim, I have to tell you the least of my concerns at the moment is the politics of a year from now.”

NERVOUS: “And although the actions of Papandreou and the referendum issue over the last couple of days I think got a lot of people nervous...” Sadly, no follow-up question on why the Greek people’s opinion was not required.

He kept talking about the “firewall.” Greece has been downgraded from nation-state to computer virus.


WAIT, ISN’T THIS EXACTLY WHAT HE KEEPS SAYING ABOUT REPUBLICANS? “But I am confident that the key players in Europe -- the European political leadership -- understands how much of a stake they have in making sure that this crisis is resolved, that the eurozone remains intact, and I think that they are going to do what’s necessary in order to make that happen.”


I THINK YOU MEANT TO SAY “REPUBLICAN MEMBERS OF CONGRESS” RATHER THAN SIMPLY “CONGRESS.” “And as soon as I get some signal from Congress that they’re willing to take their responsibilities seriously, I think we can do more. But that’s going to require them to break out of the rigid ideological positions that they’ve been taking.” You know, calling the Republicans’ positions ideological is to give them far too much credit, implying that they’re adhering to some sort of principles.

Today -100: November 4, 1911: Have to change the damn maps again

China’s Yunan Province declares independence.

A German newspaper reports that the Italians have executed 4,000 Arabs in Libya.

The French-German accord over Morocco has been signed. Germany recognizes France’s right to establish a “protectorate” over Morocco (a right Morocco hasn’t recognized, but then it hasn’t been asked), and is compensated with 96,525 square miles of Northern French Congo (the 1 million or so Congolese weren’t asked if they wanted to be ruled by Germans). France gets a little bit of Togo.

Today -100: November 3, 1911: O Canada

Speaker of the House Champ Clark says “Nine-tenths of the people of this country favor the annexation of Canada, and I don’t care who hears me say it.” He seems to be planning to run for president in 1912 on this platform.

Francisco Madero is elected to fill out the remainder of former dictator Díaz’s presidential term.

The Portugese republic orders monarchists to return or have their properties seized.

Mrs. Roselyn Monze of Nowata, Oklahoma is granted a divorce on the sole ground that her husband is an infidel.

Irony is dead, or something

Cain, refusing to answer questions about the now three women he allegedly sexually harassed, yells at reporters, “What part of no do you not understand.”

Monday was Cain’s best fundraising day ever. Who knew that the Berlusconi model would work in America?

Some random news items:

San Francisco is banning nudity at restaurants (for customers, not staff, I guess). The ordinance was proposed by Supervisor Wiener, because of course it was.

Looking at the SF Chronic’s website for their version of that story, I stumbled across this headline: “Dolores Park’s Latest Controversy Involves Sausages.” A hot dog cart has been banned from the SF park. It’s called the Sausage Slinger, because of it course it is.

Japanese member of Parliament Yasuhiro Sonoda, asked by reporters to prove his repeated claims that the Fukushima nuclear plant is now safe, drank a glass of water collected from the reactor. He will be missed.

British headline: “Queen Victoria’s Giant Bloomers Expected to Fetch £3,000 at Auction.”


If someone buys them just to wear while eating at Hot ’n’ Hunky Burgers in the Castro, I don’t want to know (yes, I know Hot ’n’ Hunky is long gone).

(Follow-up: they sold for £9,375.)

Today -100: November 2, 1911: Generous and chivalrous civilization

In the Los Angeles mayoral election, Socialist candidate Job Harriman (Eugene Debs’ running mate in 1900 and currently one of the lawyers for the McNamara brothers in the LA Times bombing trial – which is currently dragging through jury selection) wins a plurality over Good Government candidate, incumbent and general asshole George Alexander, 20,157 to 16,790, not enough to avoid a run-off next month, or, as the LA Times puts it (Nov. 1 issue), “a final battle between the Good Government forces and Socialism”.

Italian Prime Minister Giovanni Giolitti denies that Italian troops are killing Libyans and Turks indiscriminately. Why, if they are guilty of anything, it is an “excess of humanitarianism.” “He who asserts that the Italian soldier would offend woman or child shows ignorance of our country and race.” He also complained about the “treachery” of Arabs who declared loyalty to their new imperial rulers, then shot them in the back, and then knifed the wounded. He calls the invasion “an example of generous and chivalrous civilization.”

Speaking of examples of generous and chivalrous civilization, one Italian pilot drops four bombs on a Turkish encampment, the first ever aerial bombardment. Hurrah.

Headline of the Day

From the Guardian: “Al-Qaida Targets Somalia Drought Victims with Cash Handouts.” Oh noes, it’s “targeting” those poor, poor people with money, rice, milk, dates and clothes, “a Guardian investigation can reveal.” Haven’t they suffered enough? Will no one send in armed drones to stop the bastards?

By the way, Amazon is selling the complete Arrested Development for $29, today only.

Today -100: November 1, 1911: Of trusts

Taft defends the anti-trust laws: “I would cut my hand off before I would injure business. ... [But] Only one course is open. Either we will have individualism or we will have combinations in restraint of trade going to that point where the people will demand that the power of men engaged in such corporations be transferred to the Government. And then we will have State Socialism.”

The White House explains...

why atheists and the ACLU can go fuck themselves.

“A sense of proportion,” indeed.

Today -100: October 31, 1911: Of imperial apologies, boxed generals, indiscriminate slaughters, and going to the theater

Chinese Emperor Hsuan-Tung issues edicts granting full constitutional government and apologizing for his past actions: “I have reigned three years and have always acted conscientiously in the interests of the people. But I have not employed men properly, as I am without political skill.” To be fair, he is 5 years old (you may remember the little guy as the protagonist of Bertolucci’s film The Last Emperor.) “Much of the people’s money has been taken, but nothing to benefit the people has been achieved.” He observes, “The whole Empire is seething. The spirits of our nine deceased Emperors are unable to enjoy the sacrifices properly”. Obama never mentions ghosts in his State of the Union speeches. The emperor promises a new cabinet with no members of the nobility, amnesty for political prisoners from all the recent revolutions, the abolition of old laws, etc. (Spoiler alert: too little, too late, little emperor dude).

Headline of the Day -100: “General Escaped in a Box.” Gen. Chong-Piao, commander at Wu-Chang, escaping the Chinese Revolution there.

The NYT correspondent reports that the Italian Army has responded to an attack on it in Libya with “indiscriminate slaughter.”

In a speech in Chicago, President Taft suggests that the Republicans may be turned out in the 1912 elections. It is believed that he’s feeling a little demoralized after a rather lukewarm reception during his tour of the country, especially in the West.

A black man sues NYC’s Lyric Theatre for refusing to let him and his female companion sit in the orchestra seats he’d purchased over the telephone (they offered him the balcony). It is illegal in NY to exclude people from a theater on the basis of race, color or previous condition of servitude.

Today -100: October 30, 1911: Of picturesque troop movements, lost legs, and Pulitzers

20,000 Chinese soldiers are demanding complete constitutional government, or they will join in attacking the Manchu dynasty. Manchu women in Beijing (those who aren’t fleeing the city) are trying to look more Chinese, wearing Chinese dress including special shoes to make their feet look small. “Picturesque movements of Manchu troops through the city gates occur silently after nightfall to prevent excitement among the population,” writes a correspondent who seems to think he’s reviewing a pageant put on for his amusement – “picturesque” indeed!

Headline and Lawsuit of the Day -100: “GETS $15,000 FOR LOST LEG.; Court Then Sets $10,000 as the Value of the Same Man's Wife's Love.” C. H. Kealiher sued his parents-in-law, who alienated the affections of his wife, their daughter, and then “suddenly became friendly and tried to sell him a half interest in an Alaska mine.” While he was inspecting the mine, the father-in-law took charge of the bucket elevator, “threw on all speed, and he came up so fast he was whirled around the drum like a pinwheel until the bucket was smashed, and he sustained injuries that necessitated the amputation of a leg.”

Joseph Pulitzer dies.