Friday, August 15, 2003

Fairer and Balanceder

A list of gubernatorial candidates, with links to their websites, if you are really really bored.

Dep. Secretary of State Richard Armitage, the man with no neck, says that US troops won’t leave Iraq until they find WMDs there. Ah, so this was the cunning plan all along...

Click here to buy your “My Child is a Candidate for Governor of the State of California” bumper sticker and “I’d Rather Be Governor of Calif.” license-plate holder.

The moron who is chief justice of the Alabama Supreme Court refuses to obey a federal court order to remove the 10 Commandments monument. “Alabama will never give up its right to acknowledge God,” says Roy Moore. God does not return the compliment. In fact, when passing Alabama on the street, God usually pretends he hasn’t seen it and starts walking faster.

So wassup with the Philippines? There are strong rumors, including reports from people who should know, that the country is staging bombings, arming rebels and letting people out of prison in order to: a) get aid from the US, which has in fact increased forty-fold since Bush took office, b) justify ethnic cleansing in Mindanao. There’s also this thing where an American got injured playing with explosives in his hotel room in May 2002, and was evidently taken away to the US by people claiming to be FBI agents, and never heard of again. Remember, when the US & the Philippines started pumping up the group Abu Sayyaf as a major Al Qaida link after 9/11, it quickly became clear that it was like twelve guys. Naturally, the threat has since been pumped up by any means necessary in order to justify military spending and activity--does that sound at all familiar?

In Central-Asian-megalomaniacal-dictator news, this from the Guardian: “President Alexander Lukashenko of Belarus has ordered all workplaces to have an "ideological manager" to ensure patriotic fervour runs high in the impoverished state. The president issued the decree this week, saying: "Ideology for a state is like the immune system for a man, the compass for life for a citizen and for all of society."

On arbitrary arrests of Iraqis, and to feed your righteous-outrage jones, click here.

Ya know, I didn’t believe the blackout was caused by terrorists, but then Bush said that the blackout wasn’t caused by terrorists... Click here for the view that it was caused by Bush’s friends in the deregulated energy industry, Enron and such.

Kevin complains that I haven’t made snide mention of Idi Amin’s search for a kidney donor (actually, astonishingly, there have been two so far, but they were incompatible). OK, here it is: let him eat the hospital food, like everyone else. Satisfied?

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