Sunday, August 31, 2003

That's not my Jesus

The WashPost has a story about France holding up the lifting of sanctions on Libya because, despite all evidence supporting the contention that the lives of cheese-eating surrender monkeys are worth less than 1% that of any American, they object to the Lockerbie airplane bombing victims’ families getting 100-1,000 times more than was received for each dead Frog in a similar airplane-bombing. But what I really liked was the Post headline: “Lockerbie Families Protest French Resistance.”

I mentioned that the vet prescribed a diet change for my cat. When I tried to buy a new bag of the stuff, I couldn’t find it at the first two pet/pet food stores I tried, so I called the 800 number on the bag. It turns out that this perfectly normal looking dry cat food is in fact prescription. Not just anybody is allowed to buy this cat food, you have to go to a vet. It must contain some really serious stuff. If you didn’t monitor sale of this product carefully, there’d be kitties on every corner mainlining “poultry by-product meal.” It’d be anarchy, anarchy I tell you! If you guessed this means I’m paying 4 or 5 times what normal cat food costs, you would be correct.

The NYT has an article about gays in Canada contemplating their new right to marry. One says that he sees marriage as a dumbing down of gay relationships.

When you look at the New Testament, you’re probably thinking, This would be much better if it came in the format of a teenage girl’s magazine, with beauty tips, relationship articles and so on. If you agree that the Bible is “too big and freaky looking,” then Revolve is for you. Article here, website here. The same people also see the Extreme Teen Bible. Scary.

A gift for the paranoid schizophrenic who has everything: a hat to screen his or her thoughts from aliens.

A man has set the world speed record for a blind person driving a car (144.7 mpg, a Jaguar). On purpose.

About the guy who assassinated two people at an abortion clinic, Jeb Bush says “This gentleman created a premeditated act of murder in the defence of life, which makes no sense to me.” So he won’t stop the man being executed. I’m guessing there might be some irony in that sentence, and that the Jebster didn’t recognize it. He added, “I find I have no sympathy for someone who would kill someone else and then say it’s following the teachings of Jesus . . . That’s not my Jesus.” No, but it’s your brother’s.

Note to the Russian Navy: next time you submerge a submarine, close the hatch. Morons.

The WTO will meet in Cancun next month, and the Mexican government has drawn up a watch-list of 80 activists. You can imagine how this has pissed off the people who didn’t make the list. A petition is circulating among people who want their names added.

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