Saturday, January 12, 2008

Bush in the Middle East: People say, what are you talking about, hateful vision?


Bush continues to tour the Middle East. This morning he was in Kuwait, where he met with Petraeus and Crocker and with American soldiers.

“Hope is returning to Baghdad,” he announced, only to be told that Bob Hope is no longer with us.

“Iraqis are gradually take [sic] control of their country,” he said, as the alcohol are gradually take control of his few remaining brain cells.

Asked by a reporter if there will be further troop reductions in Iraq, he explained, “General Petraeus made it clear to me that, from his perspective, that conditions on the ground will be that which guides his recommendations. And I made it clear that’s what I want.” So they just sat around, making shit clear to each other. “And that’s what the discussion was about -- besides me thanking him.”


Other things that were cleared up:
  • I made it clear to the General that I need to know his considered judgment about what it takes to make sure the security gains we have achieved remain in place. And that’s what the discussion was about -- besides me thanking him.
  • And so one of the purposes of this trip is to make it abundantly clear to those serving our country that, one, they have earned the respect of the United States of America...
  • Our message is very clear: It’s in your interest that you pass good law.
THE AMAZING, DEATH-DEFYING DOUBLE IN OTHER WORDS: “In other words, our General has got to understand that success in Iraq is critical. In other words, that ought to be the primary concern when it comes to determining troop levels, and no better person to ask as -- on how to achieve success in Iraq than the General in charge of Iraq.”

FINE WITH ME: “My attitude is, if he didn’t want to continue the drawdown, that’s fine with me, in order to make sure we succeed, see. I said to the General, if you want to slow her down, fine; it’s up to you.”

MORE CONVERSATIONS WITH HIS IMAGINARY FRIENDS: “People say, what are you talking about, hateful vision?”

SORRY, HATERS: “These haters have no vision of hope. They want to impose their ideology on every man, woman and child in the societies which they feel like they should dominate.”

Said the Iraqis are working on a “de-Baath law.”


Then he spoke to some of the troops stationed in Kuwait, some of them from the Third Army, Patton’s old outfit. “From their noble ranks came soldiers with some of our nation’s highest directors [sic], including 19 recipients of the Medal of Honor. You are -- a distinguished history”.

WHAT THE PAGES WILL SEE: “Sometimes it’s hard to forecast what the history pages are going to see when you’re right in the midst of it all. ... But I want to tell you what the history will say. The history will say, it was when you were called upon, you served, and the service you rendered was absolutely necessary to defeat an enemy overseas so we do not have to face them here at home.” Here at home, George?


And he looked forward to the end – uh oh – of history: “There is no doubt in my mind when history was written, the final page will say: Victory was achieved by the United States of America for the good of the world”.

HIS IMAGINARY FRIENDS HAVE LOUSY GRAMMAR TOO: “People say, you looking forward to the trip?”

In the afternoon he went to Bahrain. And, you know, the emir of Kuwait gave him a nice kiss...


But the king of Bahrain gave him a fucking SWORD!



He will be missed.

No, seriously, the king also gave him some sort of award.


Is that thing in the middle a telephone? Anyway, George thought they were chocolates, which might explain the uncomfortable way he’s sitting.


Get Your War On.

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