Religious people do not murder the innocent, redux

Something I intended to write two posts back, but it went right out of my head: Bush said that the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq aren’t religious conflicts because religious people don’t murder the innocent. Of course Pervez Kambakhsh, that journalist whose death sentence was just backed by the Afghan Senate, which, er, is supposed to be on our side in the “ideological struggle between those of us who love freedom and human rights and human dignity, and those who want to impose their dark vision on how people should live their lives,” isn’t innocent: he’s guilty of blasphemy. So that’s okay then.

Democratic Debate: Hillary would be on anyone’s shortlist

Transcript.

Sitting next to each other, Barack and Hillary look like the anchors of the local 11:00 news.

Audience members included Meathead, Josh Lyman, Annie Hall, Ugly Betty, Stevie Wonder, Pierce Brosnan, Leonardo diCaprio....

Obama says he was friends with Hillary before the campaign, and will be after the campaign. But now, I believe that implies, he’s gonna eviscerate her.


Hillary: “Just by looking at us, you can tell we are not more of the same.” And then we open our mouths... (Later: actually, this was the dullest debate yet, and seriously deficient as blog fodder. Some of that in a good way, as when they were genuinely discussing differences in their health insurance plans, but mostly they know that neither of them is changing many minds before Tuesday, and are looking beyond it to the general election.)


Obama says he brings up Hillary’s flip–flopping on illegal immigrants getting driver’s licenses only to show how difficult the issue is.

Hillary on her Iraq war vote: “coercive diplomacy” is cool, she likes “coercive diplomacy,” uses it on Bill all the time, but “what no one could have fully appreciated...” Who is she, all of a sudden, Condi? “...is how obsessed this president was with this particular mission”. Blitzer asks if she’s saying that she was naive in trusting Bush and the crowd, possibly led by Diane Keaton, boos loudly.


Speaking of presidents on a mission, Hillary, when asked how she’d “control” Bill when they were back in the White House when she sure can’t do it on the campaign trail, gave out one of those guffaws, possibly at the thought of Bill, naked, tied up, with a hood over his head, thinking he’s in for some kinky sex, but actually on his way to Guantanamo. Or maybe to that “Lost” island. Then says she doesn’t want the campaign to be about Bill but the issues.


Barack, would you make Hillary your running mate? Astonishingly, he refuses to answer the inane question. He does say that Hillary would be “on anyone’s short list”. Isn’t that cute, it’s nine months before the election and he’s already drawing up death lists.

Thank goodness they didn’t abandon a value system that they believe is universal

McCain’s website not only trumpets his endorsement by The Arnold, but also endorsements by several of what McCain calls “distinguished members of the Vietnamese-American community” (a member of the California State Assembly, members of the Garden Grove and Westminster city councils, and a no doubt distinguished member of the Midway City Sanitary District). At least, he calls them “distinguished members of the Vietnamese-American community” in public – now. In 2000, he commented, “I hated the gooks. I will hate them as long as I live.”

Bush gave a speech today at something called the Nevada Policy Research Institute.


He told them that “The world in which we live is a dangerous world, but a world full of great opportunity.” Dangerous opportunity.

We’re facing, he said, an “ideological struggle of people who use asymmetrical warfare.” It’s not a religious conflict, he insisted. “And I’ll tell you why: because one of the tactics, and the main tactic of those enemies of freedom, is to murder the innocent to achieve their objectives. Religious people do not murder the innocent.” Religious people do not murder the innocent. I’m telling you, the principle on which this country is run is government of the people who slept through history class, by the people who slept through history class, and for the people who slept through history class.

IN OTHER WORDS: “The fundamental question is whether or not democracy can take hold. In other words, the security situation is improving, and therefore will there be efforts by the Iraqi people to seize the moment?”

SITTING DOWN WITH ELECTED: “It is vital for this generation to assume the responsibilities of peace and take the lead, so that when we look back 30 to 40 years from now people will say, thank goodness America didn’t lose faith with liberty. Thank goodness they didn’t abandon a value system that they believe is universal. And I believe an American President will be sitting down with elected from the Middle East saying the same thing to audiences in Nevada that I said about Prime Minister Koizumi.”

Wherein I find myself in complete agreement with Sean McCormack

Human Rights Watch has issued a report saying that the US & EU of accepting the pretense of countries such as Pakistan, Kenya, Russia, Thailand to be democracies simply because they have held some form of elections. Responded State Dept spokesmodel Sean McCormack: “In terms of the United States and this administration speaking up in defence of, and advocating for, and putting its effort behind its rhetoric, I don’t think there’s any question about where we stand in terms of promotion of democracy.” No, there really isn’t any question.

A judge in Rio de Janeiro has banned a samba group’s float, with heaps of mannequins representing the Holocaust, from Carnivale.

Republican Debate: You can’t have a president who sees a whole bunch of America as invisible

Transcript.

5:06 McCain: “Let’s have some straight talk...” Oh, let’s.

Speaking of catch-phrases, with Giuliani out of the race we need never hear “The Terrorists’ War on Us” again.

Huckabee thinks Congress has been betraying Reagan’s principles by increasing the deficit. Does Huckles remember the 1980s?

Huckabee: “It’s not gonna get better unless we have some serious leadership in Washington that says that we’re going to have to start having policies that touch the people not just at the top but the people at the bottom.” Well, that’s just kinky.

Defending his record as governor against McCain, Romney says several times that “facts are stubborn things.” Given that they’re in the Reagan (snicker) Library – and that’s actually it’s official name, the Reagan (snicker) Library – shouldn’t he repeat the Great Communicator’s phrase “facts are stupid things”?


Huckabee, wistfully, wishes that Rush Limbaugh loved him as much as he loves Rush.

Romney: they don’t call it America warming, they call it global warming.

Huckles thinks people will spend the stimulus plan’s tax rebates on “shoes that they probably don’t even need” (in Arkansas, shoes are considered a luxury item), and that shoe will probably come from China.

McCain: “When a town on Norway is somehow affected by the housing situation in the United States of America, we’ve gotten ourselves into a very interesting dilemma.” Says a mortgage should be one page long and in big letters at the bottom say “I understand this document.”


McCain: “I’m tired of borrowing money from China.” As Samuel Johnson said, when you’re tired of borrowing money from China, you’re tired of life.

McCain repeatedly refuses to answer whether he would still vote for his own 2006 immigration plan, saying it wouldn’t come up for a vote now.

Romney: “It’s important that we, as Republicans, stay in the house that Reagan built.” Absolutely: someone nail the doors shut.

By the way, the major advertiser on CNN for this debate: the coal industry.


There was much back and forth over whether Romney last April was advocating a timetable for withdrawal of troops from Iraq when he said, “Well, there’s no question that the president and Prime Minister al-Maliki have to have a series of timetables and milestones that they speak about, but those shouldn’t be for public pronouncement. You don’t want the enemy to understand how long they have to wait in the weeds until you’re going to be gone.” McCain has been attacking this, not for the idea of a secret timetable being monumentally silly, but for suggesting that there might actually be a time when we leave Iraq. McC: “If we weren’t leaving, how could the enemy lay in the weeds?” He also repeats, over and over and over, that timetables was a “buzzword” for withdrawal. Romney says the Washington Post “gave you three Pinocchios” for making that claim.


The Huck hopes we won’t be in Iraq for 100 years like McCain says we should be, but “we need to leave with victory, and we need to leave with honor.”

Huckles says if we leave prematurely, “It will erupt in a completely destabilized environment into which that vacuum is exactly the kind of situation that al Qaeda can build a strong base.” Put “in other words” at the start of that sentence, and it’s an almost classic Bushism.

McCain is still touting the judgement that led him to say that Rumsfeld was incompetent. Way to set a high standard.

Romney says that people prefer governors as presidents rather than senators because “They’re actually leading something.”

Mittens says one of his two great regrets in life (he doesn’t say what the other one is) is that he didn’t serve in the military, which he’d “love” to have done. I’m sure everyone who did go to Vietnam just “loved” it.

Curiously enough, it’s one of McCain’s two great regrets in life that he wasn’t a Mormon missionary in the south of France. I see a wacky Disney switcheroo movie in the offing.


COMPETITION: What might the other great regret in Romney’s life be? Polygamy jokes will be disallowed as too easy. Let me start you off: He always wished he could be a real boy.

Romney says that Lincoln wasn’t a military expert either, and he turned out all right. Twitt: Lincoln was a captain in the Illinois militia.

Huckleberry: “You can’t have a president who sees a whole bunch of America as invisible.”

Would Reagan endorse you? Mittens: yes. McCain: yes. Paul: probably, because he was in favor of the gold standard too. Huckabee: Well, I would endorse Reagan. “Reagan was something more than just a policy wonk.” Yes, yes he was.

There are signs that our economy are slowing

Video of the day, from the Senate Judiciary Committee hearing you’ve probably already heard about but perhaps haven’t seen (TPM, from which I’ve taken the video, has the transcript), of Biden gently getting Attorney General Mukasey to clarify that he really does mean that his “conscience” isn’t “shocked” by water-boarding or by extension any other form of torture, unless the method is disproportionate to the information being sought: “the heinousness of doing it, the cruelty of doing it, balanced against the value.” Biden being Biden, he made his point perfectly but then didn’t just stop talking.



I think we all need to take a deep breath and look at Margaret, who is 10 days old.



Today, Bush came all the way to California to tell us, “You know, California is a really important state for our country”. It’s nice to be appreciated.

He took along our esteemed governator to a helicopter factory: “The company was started in the kitchen, and now he’s got the Terminator coming by to herald the success.”


Mostly he talked about the importance of ratifying the free-trade agreements: “And when you’re more likely to sell a helicopter to Panama, it means you’re more likely to keep work, that’s what that means.” And he pretended that the only reason “some” people oppose the treaty with Colombia is that they don’t believe in the principle of free trade – “Some say trade hurts our economy” – as opposed to, for instance, the rather large number of unsolved murders of trade unionists.

IN OTHER WORDS: “Well, we’ve negotiated free trade agreements. In other words, we sat down with countries and said, let’s get a free trade agreement in place.”

IN OTHER WORDS: “Fourth quarter growth slowed to .6 percent. In other words, there are signs that our economy are slowing.”

Heart and soul

McCain says of big ol’ loser Giuliani, that he “invested his heart and soul in this primary, and conducted himself with all the qualities of the exceptional American leader he truly is.” Well no wonder Rudy lost, if his investment was that small.

I don’t care how cheap a shot that was, it was satisfying.

No, I wanted the big flags

After his event at a “faith-based” project (see previous post), Bush had a meeting and a dinner with the Joint Chiefs of Staff and combatant commanders. He may have confused the two: “And our military is compassionate, as well. I’m looking forward to the stories from our commanders who will share with us the great compassion of our soldiers, whether it’s to provide relief from a disaster, or to help some child recognize the beauty of going to school.”

The London Times points us to a profanity-laden press release issued by the Romney campaign earlier this month. The profanities (all purportedly uttered by John McCain) include, and I quote, “F*ck you!”, “chickens---”, “a**hole,” “f*cking jerk,” and “Clinton.” Shocking!

Here’s a picture from a Potty-Mouth McCain “town hall meeting” in Florida Sunday that I haven’t found an excuse to use:


You know what they say: the bigger the flag...

There was the notion that somehow that there needed to be a clear separation of church and state

Today Bush visited something called the Jericho Program, an Episcopalian program that works with ex-prisoners, or, as Bush kept calling them, souls: “There’s no more important goal than to help good souls become -- come back to our society as productive citizens.”


He was there to talk about the importance of the government funding such religious groups (I’m not clear if the Jericho Programs gets such funding) and the importance in general of religion, the practice of which, as we know, had been banned by the Clinton Administration: “When I came into office, the nation’s traditions of religious freedom and equal opportunity were facing unnecessary obstacles. ... There was the notion that somehow that there needed to be a clear separation of church and state”.


IN OTHER UNHOLY WORDS: “Unfortunately, in some instances where there was an interface with government, people were told that in order to interface you have to take the cross off the wall, or take down the Star of David. In other words, you had to abandon the very principle by which you existed in the first place.”

EFFECTIVENESS: “If a program was effective because they were willing to recognize a higher power, if a program was effective because people responded because they felt a call from a higher power, than to deny the higher power really reduced the effectiveness of the program.”


LORD LOVE A DUCK: “That’s, after all, one of the key tenets of faith: Love a neighbor like you’d be -- like to love -- be loved yourself.”

“As you might remember, I drank too much at one time in my life.” And if you do remember, or have some of those missing police records, you might tell him about it, because his twenties and thirties are kind of a blur.

(Update: the WaPo reports that when one of the men told Bush that more mentoring and counseling programs were needed in west Baltimore, Bush, who probably isn’t a big viewer of The Wire, told him, “There are programs like that all over the city; they are called churches,” then started in piously about “the notion that there is a higher power that will help people change their thinking.” The man agreed that there is a higher power. The WaPo writes, “‘Step One, right?’ Bush said, alluding to Alcoholics Anonymous’s second step.”)

State of the Union Address: Spreading the hope of freedom (in 357 days)

Transcript.

6:08 Bush just waggled his eyebrows


and winked


at Congress. Which I’m sure makes them feel special and tingly all over.

I didn’t catch which members of the Cabinet and Congress are staying away to carry on the work of government should there be a terrorist attack or Cheney get hold of an Uzi. (Update: it was Dirk Kempthorne. Had anything of that nature happened, it would have been President Dirk Kempthorne.) (Let me repeat that: President Dirk Kempthorne.) Also, I believe Atrios is sitting this one out in case every blogger’s head explodes.

Both Bush twins, however, are there for the first time. Should there be a terrorist attack or Cheney get hold of an Uzi, the genetic line would be extinguished.

6:12 Bush says the economy is going through uncertainty, and Cheney’s head suddenly jerks.

6:12 Boehner: this is an intervention: you are spending too much time in the tanning salon.

6:13 He says that some people wouldn’t object to paying higher taxes, and “The IRS accepts checks and money orders.” Also, the blood of the innocent and the howls of the damned.


6:15 “American families have to balance their budgets, so should their government.” Wait, I’m supposed to be balancing my budget? Uh oh.

6:22 He wants to “liberate children trapped in failing schools”. PS 23 and Martin Luther King Jr High School: the new axis of evil.

6:24 If we don’t pass the free trade agreement with Colombia, we will “embolden the purveyors of false populism in our hemisphere.” Meaning Hugo Chavez, of course, although ABC’s cameras went amusingly to John Kerry.

6:27 Greenhouse agreements will only work if every country on the planet signs and none gets a “free ride.” Especially on public transportation, which he mysteriously left out of his half-hearted laundry list of measures to reduce global warming.


6:34 “We’ve seen wedding guests in blood-soaked finery staggering from a hotel in Jordan”. Of course, the US has soaked more than our share of finery, bombing or shooting up weddings on several occasions in both Afghanistan and Iraq.
(Update: Eli at LeftI is all over this one too.)

6:37 We are “spreading the hope of freedom.” Afghanistan is now “a young democracy where boys and girls are going to school.” Um, right.

6:44 Al Qaida is on the run in Iraq. Just like last year and the year before that and the year before that. A lot of running, is what I’m saying.

It’s hard to find anything to say about this, it’s all very stale. “Return on success,” other bits of leftover rhetoric.

6:46 He asks Congress to fully fund the troops. ABC zooms right in on some guy who’s yawning, sitting next to a woman in uniform.

6:49 A failed Iraq would embolden the extremists. That’s the second use of “embolden.”

6:52 Iran (which he’s been accusing in rather vague terms of being behind everything we don’t like throughout the Middle East) should “come clean about your [he refers to it in the second person] nuclear intentions and past actions”.


6:56 “America opposes genocide in Sudan.” In case anyone was, you know, asking.

6:57 The US is leading the fight against “global hunger.” Which I think is when you really want a globe for dinner, with maybe a Triptik for dessert.

He never actually said what the state of the union is, although he did say if we did blah blah blah the state of the union will remain strong.

Well that was an hour well spent.

The State of the Union is...

Three hours before kick off, we are now taking bets on what Bush will declare the State of the Union to be:

more at twiigs.com...

A bit of an overreach

Huckabee went from talk show to talk show this morning, trying to explain that what he really meant when he said in the last debate that Iraq might still have had WMDs was that Iraq might still have had WMDs. He admitted “I don’t have any evidence,” but the guy who doesn’t believe in evolution hardly requires any evidence to suggest that they might be in Syria or “some remote area of Jordan.” “But simply saying — we didn’t find them so therefore they didn’t exist — is a bit of an overreach.” He added that “My point was, Saddam Hussein bragged that he had them. We know that he in the past had used them. So there have been weapons of mass destruction. ... They didn’t exist when we got into Iraq, but that didn’t mean they never were there.” Oh, don’t you try to get out of this with your clever verb tenses, mister.


He added that Bush “didn’t lie to us. ... I support that the president did what he believed was necessary. ... But to second guess the president now, I think, is really not a very prudent thing to do. It doesn’t make us feel any better.” Define “us,” Mike. He likened such second-guessing to Monday-morning-quarterbacking, saying “But when you’re out there on the game, and guys that are weighing 320 pounds are rushing at you, you know, you have to make split-second decisions. And sometimes they’re not always perfect.” Of course there may not have been any 320-pound guys, or they may have been in Syria or some remote area of Jordan...

By the way, this week he’s said that he’s afraid of 320-pound football players and of Chuck Norris kicking him in the head. Also cheese, he has an unnatural fear of cheese. My point is: for him, fear is as an acceptable excuse for bad decision-making, which just doesn’t bode all that well for his own decision-making process (plus, of course, the decision to invade Iraq was not made in a split-second).

He concluded, “I think what we’ve got to do is to say, let’s make the best of what we have in Iraq.” Yeah, let’s do that.

Elsewhere, Romney said that McCain is “trying desperately to change the topic from the economy and trying to get back to Iraq.” Indeed, McCain told Tim Russert,

I believe that most Republicans’ first priority is the threat of radical Islamic extremism. Now, I know the concerns about the economy...

MR. RUSSERT: More than the economy?

SEN. McCAIN: More than the economy at the end of the day.

And he told a campaign rally, “There’s going to be other wars.” Oh good, something to look forward to, then.


McCain’s campaign promises: pizza and the draft.

Yes, we can

I’m perfectly content with Obama’s wanting to run as a “candidate who happens to be black” rather than as a “black candidate,” but... the crowds at his victory rally were evidently chanting “Race doesn’t matter!” Er, guys, hello? It kinda does. Still. Sorry.

They were also chanting “Yes, we can!” a rather perfectly emblematic motto for Obama because it is a message of optimism and hope that we can do, er, something that it never quite gets around to specifying.


The Clinton people, who do think that race matters, if only because so few African-Americans in SC voted for her, are quietly briefing reporters that Obama only won because there was such a high turnout among black voters, as if that were some sort of dirty trick.

Actually, I think I do understand the stock market better now

I seem to have no interesting words of my own tonight. I know! Let’s steal other people’s.

Armando Iannucci explains the stock market’s doings:

Last week, they instantly panicked because they thought things couldn’t possibly get any worse, which, in turn, made things 10 times worse and so caused them all to panic again.

Some of them are now panicking that how they may panic in the future will affect share values even more and that the only way to prevent this is by panicking so much now that it pre-empts future panic.

So tomorrow, if you see anyone soiling themselves on the Stock Exchange trading floor, it’s actually quite strategic and they’re probably being asked to do it by a man on the other end of a phone in Japan.

WaPo Style Invitational contest for slogans for countries. A rather mixed bag, but here are the good ones:

Burkina Faso: Not Your Father’s Upper Volta

Canada: Home of the Almighty Dollar

Denmark: Oh, So Nothing’s Rotten in YOUR Country?

Germany: It Is Not Necessary to Have a Humorous Slogan

Germany: Genocide Free Since 1945!

Greenland: Site of the 2060 Summer Olympics

India: For More Information Press 1

Iran: World’s Largest Non-American Theocracy

Myanmar: We Liked “Burma” Better Too, but These Guys Have Guns

Qatar: Wish U Were Here

United States: War Is Peace

People would say, uh-oh, I’m losing value

Bush interview with USA Today, um, today.

Says the State of the Union Address “will make it clear I’m going to sprint to the finish.” In fact, he’ll deliver the speech while sprinting around the House Chamber. He hasn’t decided yet if he’ll be using the Rocky theme music or the Chariots of Fire theme music.

“We’re a generous nation when it comes to hunger.”

YES, I’VE OFTEN SAID THAT MYSELF: “And therefore one of the concerns has been there has been a wealth effect - people would say, uh-oh, I’m losing value, and therefore I’m not going to be an active consumer.”

A PIECE OF UNCERTAINTY: “One of the uncertain - a piece of uncertainty is whether or not someone’s taxes are going to go up.”

WHIPPING UP THE POPULOUS: “And I fully understand that you can whip up populous sentiment against trade”

IN OTHER WORDS: “In other words, we’re more accepting of people’s products in our country and, yet, when we try to sell ours into theirs, they face a higher barrier to entry.”

YAY! OPPORTUNITIES! “You really look at the world - you’ve got Iraq, Iran, Middle Eastern peace opportunities, North Korea, Sudan, Burma. This is a world that is full of opportunities to spread freedom and hope and opportunity.”

THAT BRUSH WON’T CLEAR ITSELF: “And when it’s all said and done, I will have finished it with all my soul and all my might, and will go do something different.”

Republican debate: Just because you didn’t find every Easter egg didn’t mean that it wasn’t planted

Florida debate. No transcript that I can find.

McCain denies having said that he still needs (at age 72) to be educated on economics. Which he did say. Claims he is “well-versed on economics”.


Ron Paul says that we are literally spending ourselves into oblivion. Brian Williams a couple of minutes later says that American banks are turning to foreign investors literally to stay afloat. If I hear the word literally misused one more time my head will figuratively explode.

Sorry. Pet peeve.

McCain brings up the “bridge to nowhere” over and over.


The Huck says that just because we didn’t find WMDs in Iraq “doesn’t mean they weren’t there. Just because you didn’t find every Easter egg didn’t mean that it wasn’t planted.” Although sooner or later those Easter eggs, like Bush’s justifications for the war, do start to rot.


The Huckster is allowed to get away with claiming that his proposed “fair tax” is 23% rather than 30%. He also says that more money you earn, the more the IRS and the government want from you. No one came forth to defend the principle of progressivity, of those able to pay more paying more.

Romney (in a blue suit with a blue tie against a blue background which over the course of the evening he seemed to melt into) (why does the suit look so much darker in all these pictures?) says that all the great progress in Iraq did not come from “General Hillary Clinton.” Which sounds like barely disguised sexism, but not in a way you could quite pin down, so he’ll get away it.


McCain says the D’s would “raise the white flag” in Iraq, says it was totally worth every single dead American soldier.

The Huck, in a question to Romney about gun control, refers to “so-called assault weapons.” Romney promises never to support gun control legislation again.

Mittens flat out refuses to say how much of his fortune he’s putting into the race.


Just like Obama said in the last D debate that no one in all of America would refuse to vote for him because of his race, Mittens says no one in all of America would refuse to vote for him because of his religion. The Constitution says there shall be no religious tests, so it’s against the law for any voter to consider his Mormonism. Or something.

Romney says “the idea of Bill Clinton back in the White House with nothing to do is something I can’t imagine.” Which sounds like a barely disguised crack about Bill’s likin’ for the ladies, but not in a way you could quite pin down, so he’ll get away it.

Mittens: Hillary takes her inspiration from the Europe of old (or possibly the Europe of Olde), Big Brother, Big Government...

Huckleberry says that he didn’t object when Chuck Norris said that McCain is too old to be president because Chuck can kick him in the head.

McCain says he’ll send Sylvester Stallone (who evidently just endorsed him, and has a new Rambo movie coming out) to beat up Chuck Norris. And by gum he’ll send Norman Schwarzkopf too.


McCain, in response to a question about his temper, which I think came from an email and not from the fact that McCain just threatened to send a 61-year old and a 73-year old to beat up a 67-year old, says temper what temper and claims to have lots of friends and adds that he admires the way Giuliani “led this country” after 9/11.

He’ll be gotten by a president

Bush tells Fox that it would be nice to capture Osama bin Laden “If we could find the cave he is in,” because “For the country, it’s a matter of closure in many ways for those who suffered under the attacks”. He says this closure will happen, you know, some day: “He’ll be gotten by a president.” Evidently Bush no longer thinks that he will getten have gottened begotten gottendamerung capturate bin Laden himself.

However, he says of bin Laden, “He’s isolated. He’s not out there leading any parades.” Yeah, George, imagine how that must feel.

Leading economic indicator

This morning, Bush announced an agreement on an economic stimulus package, which I believe entailed taking the Democrats’ lunch money and distributing it to the rich. This brings us to episode 3 of Everything You Need to Know About the Economy You Can Tell By the Expression on Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson’s Face.

Tom Toles

Click for larger.

Strike

This picture from the BBC website


is captioned, “In Lebanon, a protester holds up a piece of bread during a strike by agricultural and transport unions to protest against the rising cost of living.” Only in Lebanon could a strike by agricultural and transport unions to protest against the rising cost of living look quite so much like the Apocalypse.

Quiet normality

The Guardian says that the Afghan reporter sentenced to death was not the real target, that warlords were using the case to shut up his brother, who is also a journalist who has written about, among other things, warlords sexually abusing teenage boys. Given Afghanistan’s history, I’m not sure if blasphemy charges being used hypocritically by paedophile warlords isn’t an improvement over blasphemy charges being used sincerely by Taliban fanatics.

Olmert says of Israel’s blockade of Gaza: “Does anyone seriously think that our children will wet their beds at night in fear and be afraid to go out of the house and they [Palestinians in Gaza] will live in quiet normality?” Quiet. Normality. In Gaza. Prick.

Israel’s vicious collective punishment policy has once again made Hamas look like heroes, champions of the under-dog, and tricksters who out-witted the Israelis. The Israeli government is left sputtering that the Egyptians should help starve the Gazans into submission, while Abbas is left on the sidelines, impotent and irrelevant; once again an Israeli effort to isolate Hamas has instead succeeded in undermining Fatah.

We didn’t have a political discussion, we had a discussion on what’s best for America

An Afghan court has sentenced journalism student Sayad Parwez Kambaksh to death for blasphemy (after a rapid trial in which he had no lawyer) for downloading material about the role of women in Muslim societies. The re-Talibanization continues apace.

Speaking of re-Talibanization, Mike Huckabee compares “the seculars” to Nazis.

Bush met with a tammany of mayors today. “I’ve often said being mayor is a lot tougher than being President -- I don’t have to fill the potholes and empty the garbage.” I’ve tried to think of a joke about that without much success (the best being that if you think filling potholes is tougher than being president, you’re not doing it right). The problem is that I keep getting mental images of Bush emptying garbage and filling potholes, and I go to my happy place.

Bush said, “We didn’t have a political discussion, we had a discussion on what’s best for America, particularly given the economic uncertainty we face.” Yeah, “uncertainty,” that’s what it has. Here’s another picture (from yesterday) of Treasury Secretary Paulson’s “uncertainty”:


But here’s my point, George: if the #1 politician in America considers “a political discussion” as being the opposite of “a discussion on what’s best for America,” you’re not doing it right.

This is what a discussion on what’s best for America looks like

The point of the discussion (on what’s best for America) was to enlist the mayors in the push to ratify free-trade deals with Colombia and other countries because “It certainly doesn’t make any sense to say in a country like Colombia, your goods can come in our way, but our goods can’t come your way -- being treated the same way.” No, it certainly doesn’t make any sense to say that, George. Maybe if we try it IN OTHER WORDS: “In other words, they’re not treating us the way we’re treating them.”

What Fred did between naps today

Fred Thompson is plum tuckered out of the race. So sad. I had planned to use the words “plum tuckered out” many more times about His Fredness. He says, “I hope that my country and my party have benefited from our having made this effort.” Having made this what now, Fred?

Democratic Debate: I can’t tell who I’m running against sometimes

I didn’t watch, just read the transcript (part 1, 2, 3), but I thought Obama came off whiny when he complained that Hillary and Bill were both attacking him and it wasn’t fair. “Well, I can’t tell who I’m running against sometimes.” Barry: Hillary’s the one with the pearls.


Later, he is asked if Bill Clinton was the first black president. Says he would “have to, you know, investigate more of Bill’s dancing abilities.” Hillary says that could be arranged. At least then Obama would probably be able to tell them apart.

Hillary later says, “I believe that this campaign is not about our spouses.” Yeah, but only because CNN didn’t allow the short guy with the hot spouse into the debate.

Obama notes that Hillary was a corporate lawyer on Wal-Mart’s board, she notes that he was lawyer for a slumlord.


Edwards rather neatly skewers Obama’s explanation for voting against a 30% limit on credit card interest:

EDWARDS: You voted against it because the limit was too high, is that what you just said?

OBAMA: That is exactly what I just said, John, because...

EDWARDS: So there’s no limit at all.

Obama explains that he voted “present” 130 times in the Illinois state senate because that’s how they do things in the Illinois state senate.

Hillary notes, “It is very difficult having a straight-up debate with you, because you never take responsibility for any vote, and that has been a pattern.” She kinda has a point, but she was taking quite a risk that he wouldn’t bring up her circumlocutions about her vote authorizing the Iraq war. Which he didn’t.


I think I’m actually with Obama on not making it mandatory to get for-profit health insurance, but his explanation kind of sucks: “every expert that’s looked at this has said there is not a single person out there who’s going to want health care who will not get it under my plan.”

Favorite exchange:

EDWARD: Let me be really clear about that. It’s amazing now that being the white male...

OBAMA: You’re feeling all defensive about it, John. It’s all right, man.

EDWARDS: ... is different.

Obama says he is a proud Christian. He says D’s should go after the evangelical vote: “And when you don’t show up, if you’re not going to church, then you’re not talking to church folk.” I’m pretty sure they’re allowed out of the church from time to time. Also: folk?

I had a line about “carny folk,” but I thought better of it.

Edwards asks Hillary to take a pledge not to employ any corporate lobbyists in the White House. She says she doesn’t know. But “I’m independent and tough enough to be able to deal with anybody.” Isn’t that a well-expressed answer? The wrong answer, of course, but well-expressed.

Edwards responds that “When somebody gives you millions and millions of dollars, I think they expect something. I don’t think they’re doing it for nothing.” She says that trial lawyers are giving him lots of money. He says, “And what they expect from me is they expect me to stand up for democracy, for the right to jury trial, for the right for little people to be heard in the courtroom.” Rarely has the moral high ground been lost so fast and so ludicrously. Also: little people?


Final question: who would Martin Luther King endorse? On this, everyone is in agreement: Fred Thompson. Obviously.

McCain’s high regard for his supporters

The NYT Saturday quoted McCain saying he would do well among South Carolina’s social conservative voters “because of their fear of radical Islamic extremism”. If I were a social conservative voter in SC, I might be a tad offended that McCain said I was filled with, and politically motivated by, fear. Politicians are supposed to stir up fear and exploit fear without actually saying that the voters are frightened little wimps.

He also believed they would support him because of “their belief in our biblical obligation to maintain the integrity and security of the state of Israel.” He said this to reporters on his campaign bus, and did one of them think to ask if he agreed that there was a “biblical obligation to maintain the integrity and security of the state of Israel”? Not so much.

The Romney camp, meanwhile, is selling these Shroud-of-Turin style t-shirts.

Some Martin Luther King Jr Day thoughts

From Newt Gingrich, at the Republican Party National Convention, August, 13, 1996:

A mere 40 years ago, beach volleyball was just beginning. Now it is not only a sport in the Olympics. There are over 30 countries that have a competition internationally. There are some 13 states with 25 cities in America. And there’s a whole new world of opportunity opening up that didn’t even exist 30 years ago or 40 years ago, and no bureaucrat would have invented it. And that’s what freedom is all about.

Freedom is about having a dream, and maybe I feel that particularly because the greatest Georgian of this century, Martin Luther King, went to the Lincoln Memorial and said in his extraordinary speech, “I have a dream,” and the dream he outlined is a dream for every American of every background to participate in creating an America that is better for our children and our grandchildren.

Huckabee’s action steps; Giuliani’s secret weapon is revealed

Rudy is fighting back against the Chuck Norris Factor by finding his own celebrity endorser. I got an email today from the Giuliani campaign from... Jon Voight. I knew Rudy reminded me of someone: Ratso Rizzo.

I’ve been skimming Mike Huckabee’s 2007 book From Hope to Higher Ground, and honestly it isn’t interesting enough to provide decent fodder for blog-mockery. There’s a defense of Wal-Mart as empowering consumers. There’s a brief defense of his role in Wayne Dumond’s parole, which inaccurately describes Dumond’s victim as Bill Clinton’s cousin, and says mysteriously that he intervened in the case because he “received information that gave me reason to consider commuting his sentence to time served.” There’s a mention of his 2006 visit to Guantanamo; he decries the “unspeakable degradations that are put upon them day in and day out”. The guards, of course, not the prisoners.

The best bits are the “12 action steps” at the end of each chapter. His “12 Action Steps to STOP Being a Selfish Citizen” include 1) Pray before meals, 3) Attend church, synagogue, or house of worship at least once a week, 6) Read a chapter in the Book of Proverbs each day. Also, 10) Buy Girl Scout cookies.

I checked the book out of the library (you didn’t think I’d buy it, did you?) for the chapter on thinking vertically instead of horizontally, a bit of Huckabee rhetoric I’ve puzzled over before. “Thinking horizontally”, which is bad, is about perpetuating partisan and other divisions, but after reading a whole chapter it’s still not clear if “thinking vertically” is coded Christianity, as has been suggested, or if it has any content to it at all. “12 Action Steps to STOP Thinking Horizontally”: 1) Open doors for others, 3) Attend worship services every week, 8) Don’t use profanity, 12) Purchase some inexpensive umbrellas and give them to total strangers on a rainy day.

His “12 Action Steps to STOP Being Cynical” include 2) Read the Bible more; blogs less.

Hey!

Hezbollah’s leader says he found some shit in the attic, and he’s gonna put it on Ebay. Or something.

It’s really to prove for peace

Bush was interviewed in Saudi Arabia earlier this week by Nightline.

He admitted that he had something to prove on his Middle East trip, “but it’s not so much to prove for my sake. It’s really to prove for peace.”

He says he believes there will be a peace deal because he (sigh) looked into the leaders’ eyes and did the soul-reading thing: “I have talked to these leaders face to face. I have asked them point blank, ‘Do you understand how difficult these issues are?’ Yes. ‘Are you prepared to make the painful political compromises?’ They say they are.” Lean back, close your eyes and visualize Bush walking up to Olmert/Abbas and asking if they understand how difficult these issues are. As they say in the Middle East, oy.

He’s worried about “stereotypes.” Specifically, the stereotypes of him: “I’m sure people view me as a warmonger and I view myself as peacemaker.” (Update: John Oliver on the latest Bugle podcast says that Bush is half-right here, which is a major step up for him. Fair enough.) “My image [is] ‘Bush wants to fight Muslims.’ And, yes, I’m concerned about it. Not because of me, personally. I’m concerned because I want most people to understand the great generosity and compassion of Americans”. There doesn’t seem to be a full transcript, so I don’t know if the Nightline guy asked which people he doesn’t want to understand the great generosity and compassion of Americans.

He said that “freedom is advancing quite amazingly in the Middle East.” I know I’m amazed.

“The other thing is, if I could be perfectly blunt about it, I think people who say we can be free, but you shouldn’t be, are elitist.” He does not name any of these elitists. Never does, really.

One of those places where he thinks freedom is advancing quite amazingly is evidently Saudi Arabia. But “The American president doesn’t come and lecture somebody. ... And for us to say that you can’t have a democracy if you’ve got a king is just not right.” Yeah, because that’s the only reason people say Saudi Arabia isn’t a democracy.

Speaking of dark-skinned people and democracy, he says that if Obama gets the Democratic nomination, he’ll campaign against him, “But it won’t be in a personal way.”

Today he visited a lawnmower factory owned by Wright Manufacturing Inc in Maryland. Standing next to some guy named Wright, he said, “Do you wonder where they got the name ‘Wright?’ That’s his name.” That’s why I keep reading these transcripts of Bush speeches: you always learn something.

He talked about a possible economic stimulus package, which he anthropomorphized: “Any package has got to remember that jobs are created by small businesses.”

(He also talked about that package earlier in the day at the White House. The expression on Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson’s face probably tells you everything you need to know.)



He got all choked up with his pride and love and shit: “Anyway, thanks for letting me come by. I’m proud to be -- I love the entrepreneurial class in -- I love people who have a dream and work hard to achieve the dream.”

He also loves playing with toys, and driving them right at the assembled press corps.


So long, suckers!

Flocke: quod erat demonstrandum

Bush’s Interior Dept is claiming that oil and gas drilling off Alaska couldn’t possibly threaten polar bears. Unless there’s an oil spill, in which case they’ll all die. Here is my rebuttal to the Interior Department, and I believe it is rigorous, thorough, scientific, and convincing:

Very sincere

The film “The Kiterunner” has been banned in Afghanistan, I assume by the Department of Irony.

In an interview on Fox, Bush says of the Iran NIE “I believe that the intelligence professionals are very sincere in their analysis. That should not say to people that Iran is not a threat. In other words—” And then Greta Van Susteren cut him off – in mid In Other Words!

Thus is the word “sincere” applied to the CIA for the very first time in the history of the agency. It is perhaps bittersweet to those intelligence professionals that it is being applied condescendingly by an unintelligence professional.

The Bible was not written to be amended. The Constitution was.

In an interview with Beliefnet.com, Mike Huckabee tries to re-spin his view that we need to “amend the Constitution so it’s in God’s standards” as being something other than writing his religion into the Constitution by banning gay marriage and abortion – why, he’s not proposing an amendment to require tithing! Although he says, “The Bible was not written to be amended. The Constitution was” (he’s never heard of the New Testament?), he claims that his religious views on these issues aren’t necessarily religious views: “I think that whether someone is a Christian or not, the idea that a human life has dignity and intrinsic worth should be clear enough. I don’t think a person has to be a person of faith to say that once you redefine a human life...” blah blah blah etc. But of course he is a “person of faith” and does derive his views of marriage and abortion from his religion and is trying to embed those views in the central document of the republic.

As for defining marriage as available only to heterosexual couples, why that’s just history, and “I don’t think that’s a radical view to say we’re going to affirm marriage. I think the radical view is to say that we’re going to change the definition of marriage so that it can mean two men, two women, a man and three women, a man and a child, a man and animal. Again, once we change the definition, the door is open to change it again.” The doggy door, presumably. How about a man and a woman, but the woman doesn’t submit graciously to her husband?

The Huck says that his run has made “people realize that Christians are real people and they have a real world view that’s defensible and intellectually sound”. Unlike, presumably, those who believe in evolution.

Once you label it “genocide” you obviously have to do something about it

Bush met with the Special Envoy for Sudan Rich Williamson because the people of Sudan “suffer deprivation and rape. My administration called this a genocide. Once you label it ‘genocide’ you obviously have to do something about it.” Obviously. And what might that something be? “Our discussion centered upon our mutual desire to develop a strategy that will help the United Nations become more effective.” Well, if having a discussion about your mutual desire to develop a strategy to help the UN become more effective doesn’t work, I don’t know what will.

WHAT AMERICA IS PROBABLY WONDERING: “You know, America is probably wondering why, why do you care? And one of the reasons we care about the suffering in Sudan is because we care about the human condition all across the face of the earth.” See, he just found out that the Sudanese are humans. Condi really should have mentioned that to him before.

MURDER AS A WEAPON: “And we fully understand that when people suffer, it is in our interest to help. And we also understand that when people suffer it makes it more likely that some may turn to the ideology of those who use murder as a weapon. So it’s in our national security interest and it’s in our -- in the interest of our conscience to confront this, what we have called a genocide.” There’s something remarkably repellant about the argument that 1) we need a self-interested motive before we do something about genocide, 2) that the real danger in genocide is that the survivors might turn into terrorists. Just quite remarkably repellant.

CONTEST: Name the followers

Supporters of presidential candidates are called, by themselves or others, such things as McCainiacs, Fred Heads, Paultards, Romulans etc. Can we do better?

Trends

Last year the US had the lowest number of abortions since 1976, but greatly increased the number of air strikes in Iraq. Coincidence? Discuss.

A wonder

Huckabee says he can appeal to South Carolina voters because when he was in college, he used to fry squirrels in his dorm room (was that at his Baptist college or the seminary?) in a popcorn popper. He does not say whether the squirrels’ deaths were natural or otherwise.

On the last stop of his tour of the Middle East, Bush was in Egypt today, meeting Hosni Mubarak. “You’ve got a great deal of experience,” he told the dictator, “and I appreciate you feeling comfortable in sharing that experience once again with me.”


Evidently Egyptians were upset that in Bush’s speech Sunday when he praised other Arab countries for their fake democratic reforms, he left out Egypt, so today he praised Egypt’s “steps toward... democratic reform,” but failed to say what those steps might be. He praised “the fact that women play an important role in your society... I do so because not only I’m a proud father of two young professional women...” And so the invoking of the names of Jenna and Not-Jenna set back the cause of women in the Middle East by twenty years.

He said that Lebanon should hold “immediate and unconditional presidential elections”.

THERE’S A WONDER: On the Israeli-Palestinian front, I told the President I’m going to stay -- there’s a wonder whether or not the American President, when he says something, whether he actually means it. When I say I’m coming back to stay engaged, I mean it.”


Finally, on the White House website Bush answered emailed questions from the general public, if by general public you mean Americans who think Bush is doing a great job and would like to know who picks out his ties and why don’t we just “invest in research to try to create some kind of big battery that would replace the use of oil.” Bush said he was glad to be getting home because “After all, there’s no better place to lay your head than in your own bed with people you love.” Oo, kinky.

Democratic debate: Is America ready for a president with a messy desk?

Democratic debate, in Nevada, with poor Dennis Kucinich losing a court case to force MSNBC to let him in, not 90 minutes before the start time.

Transcript.

Our pictures today illustrate the many hand gestures of the Democratic Party (except the last picture, which I couldn’t resist).

Obama is asked if what happened in New Hampshire was that people in the privacy of the voting booth were unwilling to vote for a black person. He said no, “you know, at any given moment, people are going to be making judgments based on who they think is best speaking to them about the urgent problems that they’re facing in this country.” I can understand his unwillingness to look like he’s whining about being victimized, but to deny the continuing salience of race in America is going rather too far in the other direction.


Later, Brian Williams asks him about those “Obama is a secret Muslim” emails. Obama says, “the American people are I think smarter than folks give them credit for.” Sure they are, Barry, sure they are.

Obama says that when he said Hillary was “likeable enough” during the last debate, he really meant to say that she was plenty likeable. Sorry, Barack, there’s no way to call Hillary likeable without sounding like it’s meant ironically. Can’t be done.


Edwards says he’s a fighter, that growing up in mill towns he had to literally fight to survive. Literally, huh?


Edwards says that his chief weakness is his powerful emotional response to the pain he sees around him.

Hillary says her chief weakness is that sometimes she gets impatient when people don’t understand what we can do to help each other, and this can come across as pushy.

Obama’s chief weakness is that he tends to lose papers and has a messy desk.


Questions for each other. Edwards: what do insurance and pharmaceutical companies expect for their donations? Obama: they’re inspired by my message. Wait, let me get the exact quote: “What happens is, is that you’ve got - if you’ve got a mid-level executive at a drug company or an insurance company who is inspired by my message of change, and they send me money, then that’s recorded as money from the drug or the insurance industry, even though it’s not organized, coordinated or in any way subject to the problems that you see when lobbyists are given money.” Okay, that’s less believable than when he said that no one voted against him on racial grounds or that Hillary is likeable.


Hillary will continue the Bush policy of punishing colleges that exclude military recruiters and ROTC. Those darn schools “disrespect” people who want to serve. Obama and Edwards would also punish them (Obama goes on about the disproportionate burden on poor and rural types, while Edwards is a little embarrassed and skips quickly to talking about veterans).


Everyone is weak to point of pathetic about guns, although Hillary is against “illegal guns.” Even Obama says “it is very important for many Americans to be able to hunt, fish, take their kids out, teach them how to shoot.” Er, why are blood sports so very important?


Obama says that we should make sure No Child Left Behind “is not a tool to punish people”. The very center of NCLB is high-stakes testing, which literally does not work if it is not a tool to punish people.


Edwards opposes building new nuclear power plants. I didn’t know that.


Plenty likeable:

Amending the Constitution so it’s in Huckabee’s God’s standards

Mike Huckabee: “I have opponents in this race who do not want to change the Constitution. But I believe it’s a lot easier to change the Constitution than it would be to change the word of the living God. And that’s what we need to do, is to amend the Constitution so it’s in God’s standards rather than try to change God’s standards so it lines up with some contemporary view of how we treat each other and how we treat the family.”

I assume that’s about banning gay marriage, although perhaps he also favors a constitutional amendment requiring wives to “submit graciously” to their husbands.

Chimpy of Arabia II: When I said optimistic about a state being defined, why

Yesterday Bush met with some Saudi entrepreneurs, because “It’s important for the president to hear thoughts, hopes, dreams, aspirations, concerns from folks that are out making a living.”

He said, “I love the fact that some of you were educated in America. I think you’ll find you got a good education there, but more importantly, Americans get to see you, and you get to see them.” You get to see them looking nervously at you in restaurants, crossing hurriedly to the other side of the street, looking around for a cop...

He said, “One thing that’s for certain: the United States benefits when people come to my country,” adding, “especially those fifteen 9/11 guys that came from here, they really saved my bacon,” adding, “which is kinda ironic, cuz you guys cain’t eat bacon, right?”, adding, “Mmm, bacon.”

He continued, “And the best way to achieve better understanding in the world is for folks just to get together, and get to understand that we share the same God”. And what God might that be? Harper’s Scott Horton suggests that the God who always seems to inspire George when he visits the Middle East might be Shiva. Personally, I’m thinking drunken, not very bright, bellicose Thor, who let’s face it only got to be Thunder God because daddy was All-Father.


Is that the same sword he was waving around in Bahrain?


Today Bush talked with American reporters.

He explained why Condi is making a surprise visit to Iraq: “It’s to, first of all, be there.”

A reporter asked about progress on the Iraqi “benchmarks.” Bush explained, if that’s the word I’m looking for:

A political system evolves and grows. It grows when people have confidence. It grows when the grassroots begins to agitate for change. It grows when there’s alternatives. There’s competition emerging. Those are all the forces necessary to bring people together to get things done. And the leadership is more confident. The grassroots is more involved; there’s been more reconciliation taking place at the local level. And the government is beginning to respond.

This is -- we assume that democracy is a natural phenomenon for people out there. These are people that lived under tyranny. They lived in a society that was divided by a dictator. And they’re beginning to form the habits of self-government, manifested in laws being passed. ...

I reminded everybody last year, you know, people did focus on the benchmarks and so do I, but I also reminded everybody last year that one way to determine whether or not a government is functioning is to look at their budgeting process and how they distribute revenues from central government out to the provinces, which is a key component of a federalized type system. And the definition of federalism, by the way, has yet to be clearly defined in Iraq -- and that’s part of the issues they’re working through....

But nevertheless, even though they haven’t passed that, there is revenue sharing. In other words, there is a process.

Sorry, what was the question again?

Asked what he would like OPEC to do about oil prices: “I would like for them to realize that high energy prices affect the economies of consuming nations.” See, I’ll bet that hadn’t even occurred to them. “And that if these economies weaken, those economies will eventually be buying fewer barrels of oil.” Er, but they’ll be paying record high prices for each of those barrels. Why would OPEC consider that a bad thing?

“What’s happened is, is that demand for energy has outstripped new supply. And that’s why there’s high price.” George has an MBA, you know.

Bush said that King Abdullah “is most interested in two subjects, right off the bat: First, the Israeli-Palestinian peace process. I think what he really wanted to determine was how -- when I said optimistic about a state being defined, why.” King Abdullah is a who what where when why kind of guy.

Also, they talked about Iran. “And I went over the NIE with him.” Oh good. “I was making it clear it was an independent judgment, because what they basically came to the conclusion of, is that he’s trying -- you know, this is a way to make sure that all options aren’t on the table. So I defended our intelligence services, but made it clear that they’re an independent agency, that they come to conclusions separate from what I may or may not want.”

Asked about the consequences if there’s another naval confrontation with Iranian boats: “I didn’t say, if they do it again -- if they do it again -- I don’t know, what do you mean, if they do it again?” He refused to say whether such boats would be fired on, saying, “My only point is, they shouldn’t be doing it.” He explained that it’s up to the captain to fire if he feels threatened: “These are judgment calls and there are clear rules of engagement.” Er, George, clear rules and judgment calls are the complete opposite of each other.

TRUER WORDS WERE NEVER SPOKEN:

Q: Do you have any sense of what they were up to? What motive --

BUSH: I don’t know.

Q: -- were they test

BUSH: I don’t know.

Q: Do you think they were playing some sort of game?

BUSH: I don’t know. I don’t know.

Asked if someday some American president would do a Reaganesque “tear down this wall” for the Israeli wall, he said “I don’t think in the short-term that day will come.” He said the wall gives Israelis a “sense of security” that allows them to negotiate. He didn’t say anything about the Palestinians also maybe needing a sense of security.

IN OTHER WORDS: “The deal becomes more security. In other words, it’s a series of security measures that will eventually cause a state to come into being.”

IN OTHER WORDS: “In other words, when I said contiguous, that means contiguous territory that does not -- Swiss cheese, that it’s –”


Bush looking at a Koran at the Al Murabba Palace and Natural History Museum. CAPTION CONTEST!

Chimpy of Arabia

Bush is now in Saudi Arabia.


He brought a present: $9 billion in arms deals ($20b for his Arab allies in the region as a whole). They gave him... a medal.

Shiny

The King Abdul Aziz Order of Merit.

I has merit.

And another kiss.


Dude hasn’t had so much homoerotic action since Skull and Bones.

Understanding the UAE

Bush in the UAE: “I don’t think most Americans understand the UAE.”

My brain isn’t working this morning. I’m gonna declare a special Bush-in-the-UAE-a-place-we-don’t-understand CAPTION CONTEST, and go back to bed.

I sure hope it’s not about race

In my last post, I should probably have mentioned that Bush’s speech in the UAE also included a fierce attack on Iran, which he called “the world’s leading state sponsor of terror.” He went on, “Iran’s actions threaten the security of nations everywhere.” Everywhere? He said the US is “rallying our friends around the world” against Iran “to confront this danger before it is too late.” Too late? Define “too late.” After January 20, 2009, presumably.

He also said that democracy in the Middle East is perfectly compatible with hereditary leaders such as the sheik-president of the UAE and King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia, who he is visiting next, just like Japan has an emperor and the US has the Bush dynasty.

On Meet the Press this morning, Hillary Clinton accused Barack Obama of playing the race card: “I don’t think this campaign is about gender, and I sure hope it’s not about race.” So neither gender nor race are relevant to American politics anymore, Hillary?

Asked about her judgment in voting for the Iraq war (which she still says was not a vote for preemptive war, although when Bush used that vote to start a preemptive war, I don’t recall her complaining), she snapped, “Judgment is not a single snapshot. Judgment is what you do across the course of your life.” Wow, that’s really the best you can do?

British political comedian Armando Iannucci finds himself less than impressed with Obama’s speeches (and with presidential campaign rhetoric in general): “Maybe it’s because his is a rhetoric that soars and takes flight, but alights nowhere. It declares that together we can do anything, but doesn’t mention any of the things we can do. It’s a perpetual tickle in the nose that never turns into a sneeze.”

The British government is thinking about putting organ donation on an “assumed consent” basis (opt-out rather than opt-in). What’s the most alarming headline you could put on that story? From the Indy: “PM Backs Removal of Body Parts Without Consent.”

Bush in the UAE

Bush went to the United Arab Emirates today and gave a speech. He told the Emirati they should get one a those democracies, because “democracy is the only form of government that treats individuals with the dignity and equality that is their right.”

“Yeah,” said Sheikh Zayed, “We’ll get right on that.”


Speaking of democracy and dignity and shit, I just noticed that one of the candidates for president for the American Independent Party is one Mad Max Reiskse.

Bush in the Middle East: People say, what are you talking about, hateful vision?

Bush continues to tour the Middle East. This morning he was in Kuwait, where he met with Petraeus and Crocker and with American soldiers.

“Hope is returning to Baghdad,” he announced, only to be told that Bob Hope is no longer with us.

“Iraqis are gradually take [sic] control of their country,” he said, as the alcohol are gradually take control of his few remaining brain cells.

Asked by a reporter if there will be further troop reductions in Iraq, he explained, “General Petraeus made it clear to me that, from his perspective, that conditions on the ground will be that which guides his recommendations. And I made it clear that’s what I want.” So they just sat around, making shit clear to each other. “And that’s what the discussion was about -- besides me thanking him.”


Other things that were cleared up:

• I made it clear to the General that I need to know his considered judgment about what it takes to make sure the security gains we have achieved remain in place. And that’s what the discussion was about -- besides me thanking him.
• And so one of the purposes of this trip is to make it abundantly clear to those serving our country that, one, they have earned the respect of the United States of America...
• Our message is very clear: It’s in your interest that you pass good law.

THE AMAZING, DEATH-DEFYING DOUBLE IN OTHER WORDS: “In other words, our General has got to understand that success in Iraq is critical. In other words, that ought to be the primary concern when it comes to determining troop levels, and no better person to ask as -- on how to achieve success in Iraq than the General in charge of Iraq.”

FINE WITH ME: “My attitude is, if he didn’t want to continue the drawdown, that’s fine with me, in order to make sure we succeed, see. I said to the General, if you want to slow her down, fine; it’s up to you.”

MORE CONVERSATIONS WITH HIS IMAGINARY FRIENDS: “People say, what are you talking about, hateful vision?”

SORRY, HATERS: “These haters have no vision of hope. They want to impose their ideology on every man, woman and child in the societies which they feel like they should dominate.”

Said the Iraqis are working on a “de-Baath law.”


Then he spoke to some of the troops stationed in Kuwait, some of them from the Third Army, Patton’s old outfit. “From their noble ranks came soldiers with some of our nation’s highest directors [sic], including 19 recipients of the Medal of Honor. You are -- a distinguished history”.

WHAT THE PAGES WILL SEE: “Sometimes it’s hard to forecast what the history pages are going to see when you’re right in the midst of it all. ... But I want to tell you what the history will say. The history will say, it was when you were called upon, you served, and the service you rendered was absolutely necessary to defeat an enemy overseas so we do not have to face them here at home.” Here at home, George?


And he looked forward to the end – uh oh – of history: “There is no doubt in my mind when history was written, the final page will say: Victory was achieved by the United States of America for the good of the world”.

HIS IMAGINARY FRIENDS HAVE LOUSY GRAMMAR TOO: “People say, you looking forward to the trip?”

In the afternoon he went to Bahrain. And, you know, the emir of Kuwait gave him a nice kiss...


But the king of Bahrain gave him a fucking SWORD!



He will be missed.

No, seriously, the king also gave him some sort of award.


Is that thing in the middle a telephone? Anyway, George thought they were chocolates, which might explain the uncomfortable way he’s sitting.


Get Your War On.

Incidental torture: Rasul v. Myers

The D.C. Circuit Court ruled yesterday in Rasul v. Myers (click here for the ruling, pdf) that four former Guantanamo prisoners (the ones the movie “Road to Guantanamo” was about) may not sue Rumsfeld and military officers for torturing them because those officials, in ordering the torture, were not “act[ing] as rogue officials or employees who implemented a policy of torture for reasons unrelated to the gathering of intelligence,” but rather it was “the type of conduct the defendants were employed to engage in... The alleged tortious conduct [that means related to a tort, not related to torture, although you could be forgiven for making that mistake] was incidental to the defendants’ legitimate employment duties”. (Alberto Gonzales certified that the defendants were acting within the scope of their employment.)

The ruling doesn’t quite say that torturing prisoners is okay unless it’s just for fun. The court makes the distinction between rogue and non-rogue officials in order to rule that the torturees should first have made a claim to the “appropriate Federal agency” and when that is rejected to sue the US government rather than Rumsfeld, Gen. Myers et al as individuals.

But in making that determination, the courts are saying that the government knew there would be torture when they ordered that prisoners be sent to Guantanamo, that, in the words of the District Court in this case, “torture is a foreseeable consequence of the military’s detention of suspected enemy combatants.” Therefore, logically, they must have intended it. Upholding the lower court, the D.C. Circuit echoes those words: “it was foreseeable that conduct that would ordinarily be indisputably ‘seriously criminal’ would be implemented by military officials responsible for detaining and interrogating suspected enemy combatants.” So that’s okay, then.

Remember when torture in Abu Ghraib was the work of a few “rotten apples”? Here, it’s the torturees who are claiming that the US government never authorized torture and that it condemns torture and considers torture to be criminal behaviour, while it’s the government and the military defendants who are claiming that torture was “incidental” to their duties.

Republican debate, wherein is revealed why marriage is an important institution

Republican debate, South Carolina, this time Fox generously allowed Ron Paul to participate, though they spent the whole evening asking him questions like, “Are you insane, or just a big ole loser? Thirty seconds, please.”

Paul was asked to disavow his supporters who believe 9/11 was a government conspiracy. He wouldn’t do it, although he did say that personally, “I’ve abandoned those viewpoints.”


What viewpoints has he not abandoned? Paul told his fellow candidates that they need to “understand the importance of Austrian theory of the business cycle.”

And that’s quite enough about Ron Paul.

McCain kept insisting that “I’m called the sheriff by my friends in the Senate who are the appropriators.” Of course, he’s from Arizona, where I belief it’s traditional for sheriffs to be batshit insane fascists. McCain added, holding back a tear, “and I didn’t win Miss Congeniality. And as president, I won’t win Miss Congeniality, either.” Will you settle for Sheriff Congeniality?


Huckabee said the Second Amendment is “just as precious” as the First. The precious, the precious... He was not asked if the 3rd Amendment was more or less precious.

Not having soldiers quartered on you.

You should know that, people.

There was a fascinating theological discussion over what would happen to Iranians who dared challenge the United States Navy. Huckabee said they should “be prepared that the next things you see will be the gates of Hell” while Thompson said, “I think one more step and they would have been introduced to those virgins that they’re looking forward to seeing.” Which is it, gentlemen, virgins or gates of hell?

McCain was asked what he would have done if he’d been the captain. “If I’d have been the captain of the ship, I probably would have assessed the situation as it was at the time.” All those years in the Navy really paid off, huh John?

Later, butting into a question about Israeli-Palestinian peace being answered by Ron Paul, McCain irrelevantly interjected, “Could I just make a comment? I’m not interested in trading with Al Qaida. All they want to trade is burkas. I don’t want to travel with them. They like one-way tickets.” Yeah, like your track record with landing planes is so great.


Twitt Romney said that foreign policy in the 20th century was like a game of checkers, but now it’s more like 3-dimensional chess. Which I think means the Vulcans are totally gonna beat our asses.

Wait, could Romney be a Vulcan? A Mormon Vulcan? Because that would explain a lot.

Romney: “My whole life has been about bringing change to things I have touched”. Um, eww.

Huckabee again cited Trucker’s Magazine, bragging about Arkansas’s improved roads. Also, “We had no bridges falling down in Arkansas.”

Asked about the thing about wives submitting graciously to their husbands, Huckabee complained that “everybody says religion is off limits, except we always can ask me the religious questions.” Yeah, funny that, reverend. And he said that his views about the inferiority of women (or wives, anyway) “has nothing to do with presidency.” And he objected to the rest of us even paying attention to something that “really was spoken to believers, to Christian believers.” How dare he not be left in hypocritical peace to say one thing to Christian believers, and another thing to the rest of us? He said that anyone who knows his wife, “I don’t think they for one minute think that she’s going to just sit by and let me do whatever I want to.” So I guess she’ll be going to the gates of hell for not submitting graciously, hmm reverend? And he claimed to have really meant that husbands and wives submit to each other. Which is not what he meant. At all. “Each partner gives 100 percent of their devotion to the other and that’s why marriage is an important institution, because it teaches us how to love.”


Thompson: “We need to be a nation of high fences and wide gates, and we get to decide when to open the gate and when to close it.” Fred gets hours of entertainment playing with his garage door opener.

Thompson says employers should be required “to use the modern technology that we have now so that they can, in effect, push a button on the front end and find out whether or not someone is legal”. So he wants to install buttons on aliens, is that it?


Huckabee says that it is possible to get rid of all 12 million illegal aliens: “People got themselves here, they can get themselves to the back of the line.” Boy, illegal aliens really do all the jobs Americans don’t want to do.

Can’t you keep it in your pants just this once, Rudy?

Bush in the Middle East: I am confident that the status quo is unacceptable

Bush did some more of that thing he does that’s a little like speaking, in Ramallah and Jerusalem.


Sigh. How is it possible for him to speak so badly? Try this test: say these words out loud: “I know each leaders shares that important goal”. Did your brain revolt and try to stop you? If you carried out this experiment at work, are your co-workers looking at you with worried expressions and offering to call an ambulance?

In the first event, with Palestinian President Abbas, just before lunch, he said, “I explained yesterday, and I just want to explain again today, there are three tracks to this process, as far as we’re concerned.” In the second, in late afternoon, he said, “I underscored to both Prime Minister Olmert and President Abbas that progress needs to be made on four parallel tracks.” Make up your mind or learn to count.


IN OTHER WORDS: “President Abbas was elected on a platform of peace. In other words, he just wasn’t somebody who starts talking about it lately, he campaigned on it.”

THAT “SOME” GUY IS HEARD FROM AGAIN: “Now, look, there are some in the world who don’t believe in the universality of freedom. I understand that. They say, like, freedom is okay for some of us, but maybe not all of us. I understand it, but I reject it.”


YOU GOTTA BELIEVE!: “And I believe it’s possible -- not only possible, I believe it’s going to happen, that there will be a signed peace treaty by the time I leave office. That’s what I believe.” Why does he believe that? “And the reason I believe that is because I hear the urgency in the voice of both the Prime Minister of Israel and the President of the Palestinian Authority.” Or maybe they just have to pee.

IF HE NEEDS TO BE A PAIN: “I was asked yesterday at a press conference, you know, what do you intend to do; if you’re not going to write the agreement, what do you intend to do? I said, nudge the process forward -- like, pressure; be a pain if I need to be a pain -- which in some people’s mind isn’t all that hard.”

IN OTHER, LIKE, WORDS: “And they said, well, like -- yesterday, somebody said, well, are you disappointed? I arrived and it nudged the process forward. In other words, we can help influence the process, and will.”


OVER-CONFIDENT: This is what can happen when you get into a rhetorical rhythm: “I am confident that with proper help, the state of Palestine will emerge. And I’m confident that when it emerges it will be a major step towards peace. I am confident that the status quo is unacceptable”.

CLEAR, SO VERY, VERY CLEAR: “And to the extent that Israeli actions have undermined the effectiveness of the Palestinian force, or the authority of the state relative to the average citizen, is something that we don’t agree with and have made our position clear.”

Due to fog, he actually had to drive into Palestine. So he says he now sort of understands the frustrations Palestinians feel at Israeli checkpoints: “You’ll be happy to hear that my motorcade of a mere 45 cars was able to make it through without being stopped. (Laughter.)” The transcript fails to report if any of those laughing were Palestinian. “My judgment is, I can understand frustrations.” But “The security of a state is essential, particularly in a day and age when people simply disregard the value of human life, and kill.”


IN OTHER WORDS: “In other words, they don’t want a state on their border from which attacks would be launched. I can understand that. Any reasonable person can understand that.”

IN OTHER CHEESY WORDS: “In other words, as I said earlier in my administration, I said, Swiss cheese isn’t going to work when it comes to the outline of a state. And I mean that.”

THE QUESTION IS: “The question is whether or not the hard issues can be resolved and the vision emerges, so that the choice is clear amongst the Palestinians -- the choice being, do you want this state, or do you want the status quo? Do you want a future based upon a democratic state, or do you want the same old stuff? And that’s a choice that I’m confident that if the Palestinian people are given, they will choose peace.”

CLEAR, SO VERY, VERY, ABUNDANTLY CLEAR: “And I’m convinced his government will yield a hopeful future. And the best way to make that abundantly clear is for there to be a vision that’s understandable.”

“See, the past has just been empty words, you know.” Oh, I know, I know.


Later in Jerusalem, he summarized his trip thus far for reporters: “I called upon both leaders to make sure their teams negotiate seriously, starting right now.” Take off those Groucho glasses. He said there should be an end to occupation, and that Palestine should be viable and contiguous. But the border should “reflect current realities” and he thinks he can “resolve” the issue of Palestinian refugees through compensation rather than return. So good luck with that.

In the afternoon, he went to the Church of the Nativity in Bethlehem.


Here he is at the Door of Humility:


And here he and Condi are where the Baby Jeebus was born. CAPTION CONTEST!


He said of the visit, “It’s a fascinating history in this church, so not only was my soul uplifted, my knowledge of history was enriched.”

Bush in Israel: I’m an optimistic people

Bush, in Israel, explains, oh, something about rolls and visions: “The role of the Israeli leadership and the Palestinian leadership is going to do the hard work necessary to define a vision.”

I’m told the Israeli press was full of pictures of a bathrobe Olmert is giving George, with his name in gold stitching. Whatevs.


Oh, and a sports jersey.


Later, Bush had a press conference with Prime Minister Olmert. As politicians tend to do when they visit the Middle East, he used the word “historic” a lot: “I view this as an historic moment. It’s a historic opportunity, Mr. Prime Minister, first of all, to work together to deal with the security of Israel and the Palestinian people -- matter of fact, the security of people who just simply want to live in peace.” Well, which ones, George, the people who just simply want to live in peace, or the Israelis and Palestinians?

“If I were a rich man, Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.”

A LITTLE PRESSURE: “If it looks like there needs to be a little pressure, Mr. Prime Minister, you know me well enough to know I’ll be more than willing to provide it. I will say the same thing to President Abbas tomorrow, as well.” Adding, “But when I say that to Laura, she always tells me she has a headache.”

More and more lately, Bush has been reporting on conversations with his imaginary friends: “you know, people in America say, well, do you really think these guys are serious? We’ve heard a lot of rhetoric in the past, a lot of grand proclamations.” “I’m an optimistic people -- people say, do you think it’s possible during your presidency, and the answer is, I’m very hopeful and will work hard to that end.”

REMINDER-IN-CHIEF: “And I want to remind people, Mr. Prime Minister, what I said at the press conference when I discussed that National Intelligence Estimate.” “Let me remind you what the NIE actually said.” “I will be talking about the opportunity for Middle Eastern peace, and remind people in the neighborhood that if they truly want to see two states living side by side in peace, they have an obligation, Arab leaders have an obligation to recognize Israel’s important contribution to peace and stability in the Middle East”. Oh, I think they all already recognize Israel’s important contribution to peace and stability in the Middle East.

“A little close there, grandpa.”

Bush, as we know, is not good at verb tenses. But he’s working at it: “I said then that Iran was a threat, Iran is a threat, and Iran will be a threat if the international community does not come together and prevent that nation from the development of the know-how to build a nuclear weapon.”

Prepositions, still a problem: “they’ve got missiles in which they can use to deliver the bomb.”

FUNDAMENTAL QUESTIONS: “The fundamental questions that I was seeking at Annapolis and on my return trip is the understanding about the power of what a vision will do for peace.”

TOO BIG ON THE GROUND: “and by the way, the atmosphere in America was, nothing is going to happen, see, that these issues are too big on the ground”

CONDESCENDER-IN-CHIEF: “You just heard the man talk about their desire to deal with core issues, which I guess for the uneducated on the issue, that means dealing with the issues like territory and right of return and Jerusalem.”

THE VISION TRACK: “There’s three tracks going on, by the way, during this process. One is the vision track.”

What is that vision track? “The goal is for there to be a clear vision of what a state would look like, so that, for example, reasonable Palestinian leadership can say, here’s your choice: You can have the vision of Hamas, which is dangerous and will lead to war and violence, or you can have the vision of a state, which should be hopeful.”

A STRAIGHT LINE IF I’VE EVER HEARD ONE: “As to the rockets, my first question is going to be to President Abbas, what do you intend to do about them?”

HE CANNOT BE A SAFE HAVEN: “[B]ut at least he’s [Abbas] told me that he fully recognizes in order for there to be a state, he cannot be a safe haven for terrorists that want to destroy Israel.”

There were, of course, protests, like this one in front of the American consulate in Jerusalem.


And in Gaza City, where Bush was severely insulted in culturally specific ways he won’t understand:

Wherein George Bush reveals what we must recognize

On arrival in Israel, Bush told the locals, “We must recognize that the great ideology based upon liberty is hopeful.”

As is the case with so many places, in Israel it’s all about the hats:



Just a little too happy to be there:

Privacy

In past years, did candidates make concession calls to the winner in primary votes? I just don’t remember them doing so, and it seems kind of silly. Anyway, McCain went into the bathroom to take the concession call from Huckabee in privacy. Yeah. For privacy. Sure.

Separated at birth?

A vision that’s clearly defined

Bush met Turkey’s president today. His speech was prepared, I assume, by a junior high student: “Turkey is a strategic partner of the United States. Relations between the United States and Turkey are important for our country. ... We deal with common problems. One such problem is our continuing fight against a common enemy, and that’s terrorists, and such a common enemy as the PKK. It’s an enemy to Turkey, it’s an enemy to Iraq, and it’s an enemy to people who want to live in peace. The United States, along with Turkey, are confronting these folks. And we will continue to confront them for the sake of peace.”


He called on the EU to admit Turkey, which is never gonna happen, and added, “I view Turkey as a bridge between Europe and the Islamic world, a constructive bridge.” As opposed to a destructive bridge.

The White House website has an amusing “Setting the Record Straight” item today, responding to a WaPo article which said that Bush is scaling back his ambitions for the Israeli-Palestinian peace process just to that “defining a vision of what a Palestinian state will look like” thing. No, says the website, setting the record very straight indeed, Bush’s ambitions have always been vague and unambitious.

In the afternoon, Bush had a video conference with members of the Provincial Reconstruction Teams in Iraq, after which he talked to reporters. He explained what they know: “The PRT leaders have gotten to know the Iraqi people. They understand the vast majority of Iraqis want to live in freedom and peace; that’s what they know. You know why? Because the citizens tell them just that.”


Asked about yesterday’s game of naval chicken in the Strait of Hormuz, he began with the six truest words he has ever spoken: “I don’t know what I think -- what their thinking was, but I’m telling you what I think it was. I think it was a provocative act. ... And my message today to the Iranians is, they shouldn’t have done what they did.”


A OUTLINES: Bush explained what he hopes to accomplish in the Middle East: “What has to happen in order for there to be a peaceful settlement of a longstanding dispute is there to be a outlines of a state clearly defined, so that at some point in time, the Palestinians who agree that Israel ought to be -- exist, and agree that a state ought to live side by side with Israel in peace, have something to be for. They need to have a vision that’s clearly defined that competes with the terrorists and the killers who murder the innocent people to stop the advance of democracy.”

And who better to offer a vision that’s clearly defined than George W. Bush?

Bringing out the best in us (updated)

The NYT quotes Obama thus: “We need a president who stops using 9/11 as a way to scare up votes and uses it as a way to bring out the best in us.”

And, er, how exactly does he propose to use 9/11 to bring out the best in us?

(Update: there have been several suggestions in comments as to what Obama might have meant, but they amount to guesses, attempts by my typically high-minded commenters to superimpose their own ideals on Obama’s nebulous rhetoric. Arguably, this is the appeal of Obama in a nutshell. The focus of this election on “electability” seems to have found its natural apotheosis: a good campaigner whose campaigning skills tell us absolutely nothing about how he’d govern.)

Do as I say, not as I do

In a statement on Kenya, Bush 1) “condemn[s] the use of violence as a political tool,” 2) talks about “voting irregularities” as if they are an issue that should be addressed, 3) supports the efforts of the media and civil society to hold political leaders to account.

Sometimes the hypocrisy reaches a kind of Zen perfection.

Everybody was a blue ribbon school

Yay! a new victimized group is heard from: “post-abortive men.”

Today is the 6th anniversary of the signing of the No Child Left Behind Act, and by coincidence the 6th Circuit ruled this morning that the act imposes unfunded mandates and does so in such a way that states aren’t told what they’re on the hook for when the accept federal ed. dollars.

Bush celebrated the anniversary by going to a Blue Ribbon School in Chicago. “Every good school-- every school that succeeds -- by the way, it’s a Blue Ribbon School. So I asked Margaret -- like, I remember coming up, everybody was a blue ribbon school. I don’t know if you remember those days. It was kind of a feel-good era. Just say, okay, you’re a blue ribbon school, and everybody feels better about education.”


IN OTHER WORDS: “Look, I recognize some people don’t like accountability. In other words, accountability says if you’re failing, we’re going to expose that and expect you to change. Accountability also says that when you’re succeeding you’ll get plenty of praise.”

IN LIKE A FANCY WORD: “it’s also important to disaggregate results, which is like a fancy word for we want to know whether or not each student is learning.”

SIMPLE, UM, TRUTHS: “Sometimes – not ‘sometimes,’ all the time – accountability lays out the truth. There’s nothing better, in my judgment, to making sure that we have a educated workforce, and everybody has a hopeful future, than to just lay out some simple truths. And one of the simple truths is, can this child read at grade level at the appropriate time. That’s a simple truth. Another one is, can the person add and subtract at the appropriate time, and if so, we’ll say thank you.” If they add and subtract at the inappropriate time, however...


MEASURING HOPE: “And so -- but we measure for that reason. We want to know whether or not this nation is going to be competitive, and whether or not it’s going to be hopeful.”

Then he gave a speech about the economy to the Union League Club of Chicago. It was a little dry, so I’ll reduce it to the essentials: all the IN OTHER WORDS bits.

In other words, this is a resilient economy, because we rely on the free enterprise system.

So in other words, on the one hand, we’re continuing to set a record; on the other hand, there’s mixed news.

In other words, when you open up markets, where our goods and services are treated fairly, we can compete with anybody anytime.

In other words, there’s a constructive role for the federal government that I believe will help us during these times of uncertainty, and one of them is to expand the reach of the Federal Housing Administration. In other words, this is a program all aimed at helping credit-worthy people refinance their home so they can stay in it during these times of uncertainty.

In other words, these are constructive ways to deal with the problem we face.

I can press when there needs to be pressed

Friday, Bush did back-to-back interviews with Israeli television, with Al Hurra, the tv station the US operates in Iraq and the Middle East, and with Al Arabiya.

Asked if he can really achieve peace by the end of 2008, he lowered the bar a tad: “I think we can reach a vision of what a Palestinian state would look like.” So Bush is visiting the Middle East to “reach a vision.” Because people having visions in the Middle East has never created any problems before.

IN OTHER VERBS WORDS: “And so the goal is to have something other than just verbs -- words. In other words, here’s what a state will look like.”

ICE CREAM FOR EVERYONE!: “There needs -- Abbas, who has agreed that Israel has the right to exist, must be able to say to his people: be for me, support me, and this is what can happen; if you follow the way of the terrorists and the killers, this will never happen.”

THE GREATEST UNDERSTATEMENT IN THE HISTORY OF GREATEST UNDERSTATEMENTS: “I also believe that the leaders know me, and I know them, and that there’s a -- you know, they say, well, are you going to have a time table? One time table is the departure of President George W. Bush from the White House -- not that that I’m any great, heroic figure...”

IN OTHER SCARY WORDS: “It means to me that Iran was a threat and Iran is a threat. In other words, just because they had a military covert program that it suspended doesn’t mean, one, they could restart it. And two, doesn’t mean that their capacity to enrich couldn’t -- you know, so-called civilian program -- couldn’t be transferred to a military. So I see it as a threat.”

HIP REPLACEMENT: “I tell my friends from Texas, I left the state with a state of principles, and I’m returning with the same set of principles.” Still in their original shrink-wrap. “And I didn’t compromise my beliefs in order to be the popular guy, or the hip guy, or the guy that every -- you know, the cultural elite likes.”

BUSH REVEALS WHEN HE FIRST NOTICED THAT THE SUN IS YELLOW: “You know, my first trip to Israel, and only trip to Israel, was in 1998. And I remember being in a hotel room and opened the curtain over the Old City, and the sun was just coming up, and it just glowed. It was golden. And I told Laura, I can’t believe what I’m looking at.” And she told me that the people outside my window were saying the same thing and could I put some pants on.

Yes, that joke was inspired by Life of Brian.

How he can help the peace process: “I can press when there needs to be pressed; I can hold hands when there needs to be -- hold hands.”

SOMEWHAT UNFORTUNATE METAPHOR: “There’s going to be all kinds of distractions, and people will be trying to throw up roadblocks and people will be trying to cause these gentlemen to -- not to -- lose sight of what’s possible. And my job is to help them keep a vision on what is possible.”

THE FIRST STEP IS TO: “And so the state will come into being, subject to, but the first step is to -- here’s what a state will look like.”

On Lebanon’s stalled presidential process: “We’re making it awfully clear to -- publicly and privately -- that Sleiman, who was selected by the -- by a lot of the players there inside Lebanon, is the right choice; if that’s what they want, that’s who we support”. Traditionally, it’s considered a major violation of diplomatic protocols to support a candidate for office in another country. Just saying.

HONORING THE NOTION: “And yet, as opposed to honoring the notion of staying out of -- and to stop obstructing politics, Syria just has not been helpful at all.”

He says “Lebanon’s survival as a democracy is, in my judgment, very important for the world,” but he won’t be going to Lebanon, because “there’s only so much time.”

THE SAME MESSAGE: “Therefore, part of our strategy is to get others to send the same message that I’ve consistently been sending to President Assad: If you want to be isolated, if you want to be -- or if you want -- you have a choice: Do you want to be isolated or a part of the world? You can make the choice. You can hang out with a limited number of friends, like Iran, or you can have better relations in the neighborhood and in the world. It’s your choice to make.” Because the Middle East is just like a high school lunch room.

Actually, it kinda is.

AS OPPOSED TO CHIMPY DIGNITY: “I would hope that they would say President Bush respects my religion and has great love for the human -- human being, and believes in human dignity.”

Al Arabiya asked if Bush would ask Olmert to halt settlement activities, which they called a major obstacle to peace. Bush wouldn’t even give them that much: “I think the major obstacle to peace is going to be the politics of both Palestinians and Israelis trying to take advantage of the difficult work that these two leaders are going to have to do to define a state; that’s what I think. I think that extremists, in some instances, will try to stop the peace.” After a bit more blather, he conceded that settlement activity is “a problem” (as opposed to an obstacle), but that he would personally do nothing about it: “But there’s a mechanism to deal with that, and that is the road map commission... to deal with these road map issues. Now, we can solve those -- we can work through those problems, but the key is to define a state.” I would have thought that the presence of citizens of another country occupying large chunks of your territory, not subject to your laws and authority, protected by a foreign army, might have a little something to do with defining a state, but that’s just me.

WORKING WITH CONDI TO UNSTICK IT: “And what ends up happening in this process is that the leaders will commit, and then they’ll get their committees to work, and it gets stuck. And that’s when I’ll have to work with Condi Rice to unstick it”. I’d put a joke in here, but each version of “Like the time I got my ( ) stuck in ( )” I come up with is more disturbing than the one before.

BECAUSE IT’S ALL ABOUT YOU, GEORGE: “I hope that as a result of this interview and my trip, that people come away with the notion that George Bush understands now is the time to move.”

Says he cares about Palestinians because “my religion teaches me to love your neighbor.” I didn’t know he even knew my neighbor.

Iran “will be a danger if they’re allowed to enrich, because they can take the knowledge on how to enrich and convert it to a covert program.”

However, “I also believe that the Iranian people are not bad”. They’ll be thrilled to hear you think so.

But what thrills George? “you know what thrills me the most is that the average Iraqi’s life is becoming more hopeful.” Also, anything shiny. Shiny things thrill him because they’re all shiny.

WHAT ARE THERE TOO MANY OF? “There’s still too many suiciders”. He did not say how many suiciders is the right amount.

Republican debate: If you tell a half-truth as if it is the full truth, then it can become an untruth

Hillary’s new theme is the contrast between talkers (Obama) and doers. This seems a little dangerous, since Bill Clinton was very much a talker and very much (ahem) a doer. Sometimes both at once, if I remember the Starr Report correctly.

Another day, another presidential debate (at least it was just one today), this time without Ron Paul, kept out by Fox. Missed the little guy. He and Dennis Kucinich, who was excluded from the ABC debate yesterday, should have held their own debate.


Romney explained that one of “the great lessons of Ronald Reagan” is that cutting taxes grows the economy.

Romney seriously got in Huckabee’s face, demanding to know if Arkansas’s taxes went up while he was governor. Huckabee dodged (rather ineptly) four times before admitting that they indeed went up, blaming a court order forcing the state to improve education. “You know, education is a good thing for kids,” he informed Romney. Also roads. “People want roads,” he informed Romney. Especially roads leading the hell out of Arkansas. Later, when Romney tried to question him again, the Huckster refused to talk to him any more, and looking rigidly straight ahead, said, “I believe I’ll let Chris [Wallace] be the moderator here.”


Romney finds it “kind of offensive” that D’s are attacking corporations which are creating jobs (in yesterday’s debate, he demanded of McCain, “Don’t turn the pharmaceutical companies into the big bad guys”).

Giuliani said that R’s are better than D’s at getting people out of poverty, and that they just need to tell poor people that, and to do so in as condescending a way as possible. For example, as mayor, “I would go into the neighborhoods where I was being castigated for work fair and I would say to them, ‘I’m doing workfare because I love you more. I care about you more.’” He says that the proof of his effectiveness in getting people out of poverty was that when he left office, a lot fewer people were receiving welfare. Quod erat demonstrandum.

McCain on Bin Laden: “I know how to get him, and I will get him.” Asked later to elaborate on how he’d “get him,” Mickey C said he’d do it by expanding intelligence capabilities and by making it the top priority. That’s so crazy it just might work!


Huckabee wants the border fence built “with American labor and American materials.”

Huckabee commits heresy: “Even Ronald Reagan can make mistakes” (on giving amnesty to illegal aliens).

There was a lot of talk about the relative merits of a senator or a governor becoming president, especially in foreign policy. Giuliani, who was neither, cited his experience in, oh, what was that event again? And that “a Saudi prince handed me a $10 million check and wanted me to use it as a criticism of American foreign policy, I handed that check back to him and told him what to do with it”. See? a born diplomat. Also, he threw Castro and Arafat out of the UN’s 50th anniversary celebration, so don’t say he has no foreign policy experience.


McCain said he never heard Romney criticizing Rumsfeld. That’s because I was a governor, replied Romney, adding that he thought there were intelligence failures in Iraq. For example, not realizing that Iraqis didn’t want to be invaded. “There were some who said there would be dancing in the streets when we came into Baghdad, and there was, but for a short period of time.” He added that “We were understaffed by a dramatic amount.” “Understaffed”? I believe the military have their own term, Mr. CEO. The Trader Joe’s I went to a couple of days ago, that was understaffed.

The Huck repeated that Guantanamo is “too darn good,” so he wants to shut it down, and it’s not because of what the world thinks, “I don’t care what the rest of the world thinks.”

The Huckster’s “vertical leadership” thing is really beginning to irritate me. “[P]eople are looking for a positive
president who leads not so much horizontally — left, right, liberal, conservative, Democrat, Republican — but vertically, up, not down.” What? WHAT??

Huckabee on Romney’s attack ads: “if you tell a half-truth as if it is the full truth, then it can become an untruth.”

Ain’t it the, uh, truth.

Democratic debate: Likeable enough

Dem debate. This time I’m just reading the transcript, because enough really, and life is too short to listen to Bill Richardson.

Charlie Gibson says there will soon be a terrorist nuclear attack on an American city, he’s sure of it, and how would the candidates respond to one. Edwards says that he would find out who was responsible and go after them, “because if someone has attacked us with a nuclear weapon, it means they have nuclear technology”. Also, the US should “react strongly, but to do it in a way that is calming for the American people and calming for the world”. Edwards is really really off his game.

Obama said, “I am the candidate of change, and if a nuke went off, I would immediately change my underwear.” No, what he said is that he is also for retaliating. Honestly, did Gibson expect this question to lead to any major revelations?

Hillary adopts the Bush policy: the hypothetical perps may be stateless terrorists, but “the stateless terrorists will operate from somewhere.” So we should bomb the shit out of that country.


Obama is against mandatory health insurance because many people are without health insurance because they can’t afford it. Boy, that’s not what the R’s said in their debate.

Then Hillary criticizes him for wanting to make it mandatory for parents to insure their children. I guess it shows he’s a hypocrite, or something.

Edwards says that he and Obama are powerful voices for change, and “Any time you speak out powerfully for change, the forces of status quo attack.”

Hillary, who for some reason seemed to think someone had said her name, attacked responded, “I want to make change, but I’ve already made change. I will continue to make change.” She then gave Bill Richardson three quarters, two dimes and a nickel for a dollar bill.

I’m a little off my game too.

She said that is an agent of change and embodies change and a woman president would be a nice change and did I mention change at all?


Gibson said that the Surge is working (“were it not for the surge, instead of counting votes we’d be counting bodies in the streets”) and tried to get the candidates to agree. Hillary said, “unfortunately, I don’t see any reason why they [American troops] should remain beyond, you know, today.”

A local ABC reporter told Hillary that NH voters “are hesitating on the likability issue.” Only a reporter would think that likability is an “issue.” So why are you so unlikeable, senator, or at least less so much less likeable than Barack, who is quite likeable? Hillary says she too thinks Barack is likeable but “I don’t think I’m that bad.” Obama tells her she’s “likeable enough.” How much is enough? Anyway, I don’t really see her adopting that as a campaign slogan.



During that exchange, Bill Richardson was making puppy eyes at everyone, hoping someone will say that he’s likeable too. They didn’t. Poor Bill Richardson.

Edwards: “When I see these lobbyists roaming around Washington, D.C., taking all the politicians to cocktail parties, I mean, the picture I get in my head is my father and my grandmother going in that mill every day”. Well, the lobbyists could take all the politicians to mills, or all the mill-workers to cocktail parties...

Later he added that politicians go to cocktail parties “every single day.” Maybe they just really like cocktails. He compared himself with another crusader: “Teddy Roosevelt took them on, busted the monopolies, busted the trusts. That’s what it’s going to take.” Only in Edwards’s case, he’ll be busting the cocktail parties. “You cannot nice these people to death,” he added.

Obama said he had banned lobbyists buying meals for members of Congress. The reporter pointed out that they can still feed them at those cocktail parties, as long as they’re standing up.

Shorter Democratic debate: Change. Change change. Change change change. Change.

Change.

Republican debate: Not subject to a bunker mentality

First of three presidential debates this weekend. Kill me. Transcript.

In the foreign policy segment, the candidates all praised George Bush and his glorious little war, and ganged up on Ron Paul for failing to understand America’s true role in the world: innocent victim.


Giuliani: the Islamic threat has “nothing to do with our foreign policy,” but comes from their “perverted thinking.” Later, looking for examples of terrorism against non-Americans, he cited as an act of Islamic terrorism the 1972 Munich Olympics.

Romney: “The president is not arrogant. The president is not subject to a bunker mentality.” Huckabee, who asked if Romney had actually read all of his article before attacking it (Romney said he had, knowing no one would believe he read it any more than they believe Huckabee wrote it), took the opportunity to backtrack, saying that what he meant by “arrogant” was Rumsfeld’s insistence that Iraq could be occupied with a small military force.

Romney said the US and its allies (the US still has allies?) should “move the world of Islam to modernity and moderation”. This is a guy who spent two years unsuccessfully trying to convert the French to Mormonism.


(They’ve all been reading up on radical Islam. Romney, who told Paul he didn’t understand what radical jihad is, talked about someone named Sayyid Cuetip. Huckabee, of all people, did a better job of pronouncing Sayyid Qutb’s admittedly challenging name.)


Fred Thompson propounded this exciting concept about when the US should involve itself in the affairs of others nations: “We should only go in where we should and where we’re able to.”

At which point Jeri Thompson sighed.

McCain: “I didn’t say we needed a secret plan for withdrawal [from Iraq].” Secret plan? Who has a secret plan? I think he’s remembering Nixon’s secret plan for getting out of Vietnam.


I still don’t know what Huckabee means by “vertical leadership.”

Romney got increasingly testy at the jibes against him, as when McCain called him the candidate of change. Romney is quite thin-skinned.

In the segment on immigration, which as always mostly involved a learned lexicological discussion of the meaning of the word amnesty, McCain went out of his way to invoke the sacred name of Joe Lieberman, who says that anyone who says McCain supports amnesty is a liar.


Thompson, asked about oil company profits, says he “takes note” when they profit, and he takes note when they lose money. When has an oil company ever lost money? Well, an oil company not run by George W. Bush, obviously. Thompson says high oil prices are from supply and demand, and China going all over the world making deals with dictators. Thank God we only get our oil from democracies.


What’s up with that weird thing with Giuliani’s eyes?

Eisenhower started the program to put a man on the moon? Whatever, Rudy.


Huckabee wants a $1 billion prize for the first person who comes up with a car that can get 100 miles per gallon. Oh Huck, you’ll have to do a lot better than that: Exxon-Mobil’s bounty is $10 billion for the head – just the head – of the first person who comes up with a car that can get 100 miles per gallon.

The Huck says dictators in the Middle East and Venezuela are “enslaving” the American people.

I am always concerned about violence

Thursday, Bush was interviewed by Reuters about his trip to the Middle East. The region originated so many world religions, but the Monkey God was more concerned with mythology: “You know, kind of one of the interesting myths is I haven’t been to the Middle East”.

Why is he going? “[T]o remind our Arab friends and allies, one, they can count on... the United States to provide security in the region”. Because that always works so well. “[B]ut also remind them that they have a great opportunity to help advance the process and to recognize the important role that Israel will play in helping to establish a Palestinian state”. So helpful.


In fact, he will be spending the entire trip “reminding” people of things: “to remind the Palestinians and the Israelis that in order for there to be peace that there has to be a vision of what a state will look like”; “remind the Arab leaders that they, too, can have a constructive role”; “remind everybody that a truly lasting peace will occur when the leaders from both sides make that commitment”; “I will remind them that a country that can suspend a program can easily start a program”. “And my challenge is to remind the American people that while they’re paying attention to these primaries there is a President actively engaged solving problems.”

IN OTHER WORDS: “So the vision is set out, something around which people can rally -- in other words people in the Palestinian Territories can say, I’m for this, this is what I want to have happen, and therefore we reject those who espouse terror.”

IN OTHER WORDS, AND OTHER TRACKS: “So in other words, there’s a dual track that parallels the negotiations on what the state would look like; but actually there’s a third track as well, which is helping the Palestinians develop the institutions necessary for the state to be a state that meets the needs of its people.” “In other words, there’s a series of steps we’re taking”.

MIDDLE EAST LEADERS HAVE A RESPONSIBILITY: He will “remind” them that “they can easily stay mired in the issue of the moment, and that they have a responsibility, it seems to me, is to make sure that as they deal with problems, but to think about what a definition of a state will mean to their own security and for peace.”


Watch a political master at work masterfully concealing his ignorance about what’s going on in the region he’s about to visit (masterfully):

Q: And are you worried that the latest violence over there is going to undermine your efforts?

BUSH: Am I worried about violence undermining --

Q: The latest violence over there --

BUSH: I’m worried about violence everywhere in the world undermining the efforts of free societies to emerge.

He even slipped in an IN OTHER WORDS: “In other words, people use violence to stop the emergence of a free society. That’s the conflict we’re in. And so I am always concerned about violence.”

Paying attention, Huckabee?

He said there should be a political accommodation in Kenya, presumably between the people who stole the election and the people who actually won it, “some kind of arrangement that will help heal the wounds of a closely divided election.” Reached for comment, Al Gore just sighed. And Bush warned, “it’s going to be hard to help a country if it gets wracked by violence.”

The assassination of Benazir Bhutto is “another wake-up signal to the realities of the world in which we live.” “After all, this brave woman was killed by terrorists with a terrorist act.” He talked about the need for cooperation with “the Paks.”

Asked if he believed Al Qaida was responsible, he judiciously said, “I will withhold judgment until we know the facts -- but it has all the hallmarks of how they operate, and that is to kill innocent people, to murder. It was cold-blooded murder, and they did that -- they’ve done that -- or people like them, or people affiliated with them, or people who think they’re -- you know, people who are trying to copy them murder innocent people for political objectives. And so I can’t make an accusation in this case as to who did it until -- I’m sure we’ll find out.”

THAT CAN BE PAINFUL: “I’m also concerned, as I mentioned, about people feeling the pinch in their homes.”

One of the reasons I’m going is to remind them of the work they got to do

In preparation for his upcoming trip to the Middle East, Bush gave a couple of interviews today, the first to Israel’s Yediot Ahronot, the second a roundtable with newspapers from the other countries he’ll be visiting. At one point he said that he went to war with Iraq because “I decided to make sure words meant something.” I assume this was meant ironically.

TO MAKE SURE WORDS MEAN SOMETHING, THEY MUST FIRST BE IN OTHER WORDSED: “In other words, as far as we were concerned, he had weapons of mass destruction which could have been used in a deadly way.” “In other words, there’s got to be a recognition that we need institution-building, there needs to be work.” “In other words, Russia has basically taken that argument away from the Iranians that said, we are -- have the sovereign right to have a civilian nuclear program, and they said, fine.” “And there’s a lot of church and faith-based groups involved in southern Sudan trying to improve the lot of people living there, in other words, the great humanitarian outreach that takes place.” “In other words, the rebel groups cannot take advantage of -- continue to take advantage of this notion that they can do what they want without being serious about the peace.”

He talked about creating a Palestinian state “subject to the road map.” He said that Olmert “understands the significance of defining a hopeful state.” He knows that because he did that soul-looking-into thing he does so well: “And so when I talk to Prime Minister Olmert, I listen very carefully to whether or not he’s able to think beyond the moment. And I’ve come to the conclusion that, yes, he is a man of vision.”

“BY THE WAY” IS THE NEW “IN OTHER WORDS”: “And the United States, by the way, can help both parties. That’s why I’m going: to help boost the confidence of both parties to reach out for a vision. And by the way, the trip is more than just going to Israel and the Palestinian Territories. I’m also going to the Arab world”. And 6 more “by the ways” in the roundtable.

AT LEAST HE’S GOT AN AGENDA: “Now, they got work to do, and one of the reasons I’m going is to remind them of the work they got to do.”

IN FACT, THERE WILL BE A WHOLE LOT OF REMINDING: “the American President can help move the process forward by reminding friends and allies in the Middle East about the importance of the two-state solution and what they can do to help.” “I remind people that the President should -- must understand, like in the Middle East, that the conditions must be ripe for people to go for peace”. “I will remind them that we’ve got a three-track strategy”. “part of my trip is to remind our friends and allies how important it is for Lebanon to succeed”. “I will remind them that what happens in parts of the world matters to the security of the United States of America, and that we look forward to being a constructive force and working with allies like allies should do.” “remind them of this ideological struggle in which we’re involved”. “My job is to remind people that laying out a substantive, real vision around which people of good faith can rally is instrumental to peace.”

IT’S GOOD THAT SOMEONE UNDERSTANDS WHAT THE HELL HE’S SAYING: “Both understand, as well, that I said conditions on the ground, the realities of the situation will help determine what a -- the borders look like.”

He said, “You know, women are now very active in the Kuwaiti parliament.” As what? This is not the first time he has tried to claim that there are women in the Kuwaiti parliament.

He said, “My friend, King Abdallah of Saudi Arabia doesn’t get enough credit for beginning to reform his society.” Yeah, wonder why that is. “I admire him because he is a man who commands a lot of respect from me, personally”. Incidentally, Bush has never been to Saudi Arabia before, which surprised me.

“[T]he Kingdom of Saudi Arabia recognized that murderers threaten not only other parts of the world, but threaten the Kingdom’s own security.” You know, with the murdering and all.

BUSH HAS NO IDEA WHAT A “MAGHREB” MIGHT BE:

Q: Thank you. Thank you again, Mr. President. Mr. President, I wanted to ask you, your visit to the region will not include the Maghreb Arab.

BUSH: Will not include --

Q: The Maghreb Arab --

BUSH: Yes, that’s right.

The reporter then took pity on him and explained the term.

He actually has been to Morocco, before he was president: “I’ll never forget drinking crushed almond milk [as opposed to Bogie, who came for the waters], and enjoyed the wonders of the desert... I threw snowballs in Morocco one time in the Atlas mountain range.” See, he’s already done everything there is to do in North Africa.

BUSH REVEALS WHAT HIS GREATEST CONTRIBUTION TO HISTORIOGRAPHY WILL BE: “I’ll be dead before the true history of the Bush administration is written.”

February 2008 California proposition recommendations

Update: Official election results here, and added below in purple (figures subject to some change when all the absentee ballots are counted).

Prop. 91. Transportation funds. This is the first time I’ve ever seen the pamphlet “Yes” argument actually ask you to vote No. And there is no “No” argument, because this whole issue was already settled by Prop 1A in 2006 and shouldn’t be on the ballot at all. I have no idea what would happen if 91 actually passed. You could vote yes just to be ornery, but I say just skip it. Lost 42-58.

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Prop. 92. Community college fees. Limiting fees is good, and would help return community colleges to their function as places of continuing lifetime education, learning for the sake of learning, as well as the vocational functions which are important but are currently over-stressed (including in the Yes argument). But then, fees should also be limited for the UC and Cal State systems as well, with much more predictability (and community college fees here are quite low compared to most other states, unlike those of UC and Cal State). Where 92 becomes completely unacceptable is in letting the voters of 2008 set budget priorities far into the future, as if Californians 5 or 10 or 15 years from now can’t be trusted to understand the value of education as well as we can. In a democracy, setting priorities is the job of the democratically elected legislature. So while I’d like to see fees rolled back, this is not the way to do it. No. No, 57-43.

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Prop. 93. Term limits. This alters the 1990 term limits initiative, which limited candidates to serving 6 years in Assembly and 8 in the State Senate, which has resulted in some candidates scrambling to get themselves elected to the other house, to a limit of 12 years all told in either or both house, with current members allowed 12 years in their current house even if they previously served in the other one. So instead of 14 years, they will get somewhere between 12 and 20 years. Hidden in all those details is an interesting change in the principle of term limits: the 1990 version was focused on the seats, ensuring that they turned over every 6 or 8 years, while the 2008 one is focused on the politicians themselves.

Term limits are undemocratic, based on the assumption that voters cannot be trusted. And 17 years of this experiment haven’t brought any improvements to the legislative process or made legislators more responsive to their constituents. So I resent having a choice only between two forms of term limits. This one is probably better than the 1990 version in eliminating the intriguing and plotting of termed-out legislators trying to get into the other house, so I will probably vote yes, but if you want to vote no because you feel the exemption which incumbents are trying to give themselves doesn’t pass the smell test, I wouldn’t argue with you. Despite a late endorsement by Schwarzenegger, this loses 53.6% to 46.4, probably due to the self-serving exemptions, although it may also have created suspicions by being too complex.

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Props 94-97. Ratifying Schwarzenegger deals with four Indian tribes in Southern California to increase the scale of their casino operations – a lot – while increasing the share of their revenue to the state.

The ballot arguments leave some questions unanswered: Can California really keep that many slot machines running non-stop? How many of them would have themes from Schwarzenegger movies? “I’ll be back... once I’ve withdrawn all the money from my children’s college accounts.” If we agree to let the state legislators stay in office until the last ounce of flesh has rotted off their skeletons, would they agree to stop wasting our time with crap like this? Except that we know we can’t trust them with an issue where so much money is involved, in the form of campaign contributions, freebies, and “free” money for the budget. We can see this in the way that protections for workers disappeared from the compacts. This suggests that the state won’t properly oversee the labor and environmental provisions (and the tribes are exempt from many federal and state laws, free to regulate themselves). I’d also have wanted provisions restricting advertising.

These measure give favorable advantages to just four of the state’s 108 Indian tribes, small ones at that, and those tribes are already beginning to fraudulently purge tribal members so they can divide the windfall among fewer people. No. All win with just under 56%, from a combination of endless commercials with sad-eyed Indians and greed for free money to fill the budget short-fall.

Comments and rebuttals welcome.

The knickers saved the day

Iowa voters are caucusing, or Iowa caucusers are voting, or something, but one thing is sure: whatever the results, the corn abides.

Also, no one has to pay attention to Iowa again for four years.

Okay, am I the only one who saw the headline “China Ships Food Aid to Zimbabwe” (BBC) and thought, but an hour later you feel like you need food aid again?

Speaking of obvious straight lines, China is planning to change its method of execution from shooting to forcing the prisoner to suck on toys made for export to the United Stateslethal injection.

Best line about the Tatiana the Tiger incident, from Jon Carroll: “Here’s a rule of thumb: If it’s burning bright in the forests of the night, best not to throw rocks at it.”

Headline of the day: “Giant Knickers Put out House Fire.” I have refrained from including a photo of the somewhat scorched hero knickers (heroine knickers, I guess). Said the proud owner of the garment in question, “My family could have been in hospital but the knickers saved the day.”

Not quite the headlines of the day, but here are two successive AP headlines: 1) “Importance of Teaching Evolution Noted.” 2) “Man Using GPS Drives in Front of Train.” Here endeth the lesson.

The story after that is “Unemployed to Sterilize Monkeys in India.”

A people perverted

Giuliani’s latest fear-mongering ad may be the fear-mongeringest yet:



“A people perverted”?

As I was watching Mike Huckabee on Jay Leno, I suddenly wondered if watching Leno meant I was crossing a picket line like Huckabee (who does like his crosses). The Huckster claimed to have been under the impression that Leno had made the deal with the writers’ union that in fact Letterman’s production company made. Appropriately, then, the Huck plagiarized an old line of Jon Stewart’s, saying he wanted to remind people of the guy they work with rather than the guy who laid them off (Stewart said in 1999 that the Republican House managers of the Clinton impeachment looked like every guy who ever fired his dad).

The Huck said that when he was a minister he saw every single “social pathology,” so they were not abstract to him and he could put a name and face to each one. However he was evidently applying terms like “social pathology” to his parishioners.

Speaking of social pathologies, he said that if he had run that attack ad, he would have felt like he needed to take a shower, and then I swear said something about wanting to give Romney a shower.

He explained that his “Fair Tax” would be applied to drug deals and prostitution, thus ending the black economy overnight.

Well, that’s what he said.

I guess he can not only put a name and face to every social pathology, but also a sales tax of 23%.

Love at first sight:

Caption contest: Why is this man grimacing?

Reuters caption: “U.S. President George W. Bush (R) grimaces while stepping off the Marine One helicopter as he and first lady Laura Bush (2nd R) return from a holiday visit in Texas to the White House in Washington, January 1, 2008.”

Wherein is revealed the primary agent of peace

The pope says recognizing non-“traditional” families will lead to war. “The family is the primary agent of peace,” he said. And haven’t they done a great job so far? Really, thousands of years of patriarchal heterosexual families = thousands of years of peace and harmony. The family, he said, is “the first and irreplaceable educator of peace.” Dude, have you ever actually met a family?