Sunday, August 31, 2008

I would pull that lever

James Dobson, who had said he would never vote for McCain, now says that with Palin on the ticket, “I would pull that lever.” I’ll bet he would, I’ll bet he totally would.

H/T to Josh in comments for this 1988 video of sportscaster Sarah Palin. Is that an Alaska accent?

I understand she got her very first passport last year.

Today, Bush went to FEMA operation center in D.C. to give a message to the people of the Gulf Coast: “The message to the people of the Gulf Coast is, this storm is dangerous.”

Ah could sure go for a burrito right about now.

PREPOSITIONING EMERGENCY STOCKPILES OF “IN OTHER WORDS”: “the federal government has prepositioned teams of emergency managers, doctors, ambulances, search and rescue teams, aircraft and commodities throughout the region. There are millions of meals and millions of liters of water prestaged, as well as a lot of blankets and cots. In other words, there’s a lot of preparations that have gone in in anticipation of this storm.”

For example, hauling a presidential podium into FEMA’s operation center.

Meanwhile, McCain and his soul mate went to the emergency management center in Mississippi.

He promised they would act as Americans, but only if absolutely necessary: “I pledge that tomorrow night, and if necessary throughout our convention, we will act as Americans and not as Republicans because America needs us now.”

Ah yes, now I remember why I picked you.

Saturday, August 30, 2008

Who kicked Sarah Palin’s ass?

In 1984, Palin lost the Miss Alaska pageant to this woman,

Maryline Blackburn, evidently some sort of singer slash actress who, according to her website, is “the personification of the word Entertainer”. Maybe McCain should have picked her. America hasn’t been properly entertained by a vice president since Dan Quayle.

Not flat busted

Have you caught Palinmania yet?

McCain-Palin: a political dinosaur and a woman who doesn’t believe there were dinosaurs.

McCain’s choice of Palin suggests either what happens when the Ambien kicks in, or that he was more worried by Joe Biden’s debating abilities than is warranted, given Biden’s track record against lack-wits like Clarence Thomas and Samuel Alito, and chose his mail-order bride in the hopes that Biden gives free passes to girls who wear glasses. (Apologies to Dorothy Parker.)

Our Sarah, however, is capable of bringing down a full-grown caribou using only her bare hands.

That picture was provided to the press by her family, by the way. They evidently think that America will be charmed by this image of mother and daughter bonding over blood sports. The family that slays together, stays together.

They also offered up this picture of Sarah in her University of Idaho dorm.

If you can’t read it, her t-shirt says “I may be broke, but I’m not flat busted.” Which I believe was also her 2006 gubernatorial campaign slogan.

A little belatedly, Dave Barry’s convention coverage, starting here.

Friday, August 29, 2008

What we know

So what do we now know about Sarah Palin, who the London Times calls a “gun-toting beauty queen”?

We know she’s a woman, which probably accounts for a Reuters photographer’s choice to take this particular picture.

We know she is congenial.

We know she hates polar bears and loves Pat Buchanan.

We know she was for the Bridge to Nowhere before she was against it.

We know from Troopergate that she is not only vindictive and willing to abuse her power but, even more unforgivably, to do so stupidly, because it was inevitable that it would come out.

We know that John McCain is so old that just one overly vigorous handshake could kill him.

We know she believes creationism should be taught in schools (too bad her nomination was announced in Dayton, Ohio rather than Dayton, Tennessee) (oh, look it up).

We know her husband competes in snow machine races.

We know her kids have funny names.

We know that John McCain only met her once before this week. You would hope he wouldn’t pick a secretary of transportation this carelessly, much less a veep.

We know that in the next few weeks we’re going to hear the word “mooseburger” more than we ever thought possible.


Does Sarah Palin know how many igloos she owns?

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Doesn’t know

Obama: “Now, I don’t believe that Senator McCain doesn’t care what’s going on in the lives of Americans. I just think he doesn’t know.” Barack, what has McCain ever said or done that makes you think that if McCain did know, he would care?

You don’t know what goes on in combat until you are in combat

Follow-up: In the civilian trial of former Marine Sgt. Jose Nazario for executing two unarmed Iraqi captives and ordering his men to kill two more, the jury evidently bought his defense that “The killings did not occur, but if they did occur, they were justified during the violent, fast-moving battle in Fallujah.” The jury’s forewoman said, “I think you don’t know what goes on in combat until you are in combat.” Maybe if she considered herself incompetent to render a verdict, she shouldn’t have been serving on a jury in the first place.

(Update: she added that the verdict was intended to send a message to the troops: “I hope they realize that they shouldn’t be second-guessed, that we support them and know that they’re doing the right thing.” A trial, any trial, is an exercise in “second-guessing.” Again, if you don’t believe in the legitimacy of the criminal justice process, you shouldn’t be participating. Also: “doing the right thing” – sheesh.)

(Updatier: another juror agreed that a civilian jury shouldn’t have tried this case, saying, “I don’t think we had any business doing that. I thought it was unfair to us and to him.” Which I guess is why she decided not to do it, despite taking the oath and all.)

They’re drilling it for everything it’s worth

From Radio Prague: Shortly after Czech President Vaclav Klaus’s hip-replacement surgery in June, someone was arrested after trying to sell what he claimed was the old hip joint online. Klaus said the body part was not his, but, suspiciously if you ask me, pardoned the man anyway.

Honduran President Zelaya says that in January 2006 the American ambassador tried to get him to give asylum to Cuban terrorist Luis Posada Carriles (note: the linked Miami Herald story says the request was put by former ambassador to Honduras Charles Ford. Ford is in fact the current ambassador to Honduras, and was at the time).

Gore’s convention speech: “big oil has a 50-year lease on the Republican party, and they’re drilling it for everything it’s worth.” Ewwwww.

I was the first to say I would lose a campaign rather than lose a war

Immigration officials are now staking out Head Start centers, following their buses, etc. Bastards.

Go read the amusing McCain interview, in which he reacts to every question like a grumpy five-year old woken up from his nap. Don’t bother listening to it, though; the recording is all airplane noise. The only significant bit not in the article was his claim about Iraq: “It’s a peaceful, stable country now.”

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

The eight most dreaded words in the English language

They keep telling us that Joe Biden used to stutter. He’s supposed to have overcome it when he was a kid, but you have to wonder if he really intended to name his son Beau Biden. Just saying.

Seriously, though, am I not right that a former stutterer naming his kid something that sounds like a stutter is just a little odd?

So Joe says that when he was a kid, bigger kids used to beat him up, so his mother told him, “bloody their noses so you can walk down the street the next day.” Then she cackled maniacally.

When he’s veep, “no longer will you hear the eight most dreaded words in the English language: The Vice President’s Office is on the phone.” Actually, more dreaded still are the next eight words: “And he’s inviting you on a hunting trip.”

Under Vice President Biden, those dreaded eight words would be: “And he’d like to chat a little while.”

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

They do not resent or resist America’s democratic influence in the world

Russian puppety prez Medvedev recognizes South Ossetia and Abkhazia as independent sovereign nations. Hurrah! This blog likewise recognizes the independence of Chechnya, North Ossetia, Dagestan and, oh, let’s say Tatarstan, ‘cause why not.

Speaking of independent sovereign nations, the “specific deadline” Maliki is supposedly insisting upon would be “conditions-based.” Who gets to decide if conditions are right? A joint American-Iraqi ministerial group. In other words, the US gets to veto withdrawal.

John McCain told the American Legion annual convention today: “when people in the oppressed nations of the world need support, and solidarity, and hope, they look to America. When they talk about our country, it is not with distrust or disdain, but with respect and affection. They do not resent or resist America’s democratic influence in the world -- they thank God for it.” Um, gosh, I don’t really... know... what to say about that particular, ah, view of the world. I guess he learned all about that respect and affection and stuff in Vietnam.

If not much longer than that

Condi is in Israel, because she’s going to have the entire Middle East thing solved by January, as you know. She held a press conference with Foreign Minister (and next prime minister?) Tzipi Livni, at which the latter was asked about a Peace Now report that settlement activity has doubled this year. Tzipi dismissed this as irrelevant: “the peace process is not and should not be affected by any kind of settlement activities. ... at the end of the day, the role of leaders is to try and find a way to live in peace in the future, and to avoid any kind of -- not to let any kind of noises that relate to the situation on the ground these days to enter the negotiations room.” Yes, by all means let’s not let “noises” about “the situation on the ground” (what some might call “reality”) enter the negotiations room.

Condi mildly criticized the settlement building as “unhelpful,” and herself helpfully added that “this is a conflict that goes back at least 40 years, if not much longer than that.”

Theirs is a forbidden love

Two stories in today’s WaPo tell us that Dick Cheney and Cindy McCain will both be visiting Georgia, clearly using the war-torn nation as a backdrop for their clandestine, torrid affair. Trips like this are “an important part of what I’m about, what makes me tick,” Cindy said, winking lasciviously.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

The definition of a slow news day...

is when the BBC World News features a four-minute interview with Jackie Chan (something or other about the Olympics).

So here’s a nice picture of John McCain at a baseball game, which you can caption, or not, as you see fit.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Blanket of freedom

I sort of expected the proposal to let FBI agents investigate anyone they want just because they feel like it, without even a sliver of evidence of a crime, to have generated a touch more discussion. Like, you know, any.

The Afghan Interior Ministry says the US killed 76 civilians, most of them children, in an air strike. The Americans say the number was zero. I predict you will never hear another word about this.

A former Marine sergeant, Jose Nazario, is being tried, in civilian court since he is no longer in the military, for the murder of four Iraqi prisoners in 2004 (he killed two and made two men under his command kill one each – male bonding and command leadership Tony Soprano-style). The LAT explains Nazario’s lawyers’ planned defense argument: “The killings did not occur, but if they did occur, they were justified during the violent, fast-moving battle in Fallujah.”

The judge has decided not to put those other two Marines in jail for refusing to testify against him, after one of their lawyers asked the judge to take into account “the unique sacrifices Sgt. Nelson has made for all of us -- that we all live under the blanket of freedom he provides with the blood that flows through his veins.” That is one disgusting blanket of freedom.

Caption contest. Don’t make fun of Obama’s freakishly long right arm.

Speaking of road kill sex...

As it happened, when I turned on my computer this morning, before checking any news sites, I looked at this blog’s visitor, and that’s where I intuited the Biden pick, because people have been coming to old posts via Google searches for: “joe biden draft dodger” (two of those), “joe biden suicide attempt,” “joe biden animal rights,” and “joe biden circumcised.” Also, “road kill sex.”

Just so I don’t set off a scramble for “joe biden circumcised”: I do not in fact have posts on any of those subjects.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Next question

All right, Senator McCain, now that we’ve (sort of) cleared up the question of how many houses you own: how many servants do you and your wife employ?

(Update: it seems that in 2007 the McCains’ budget for domestic staff was $273,000.)

I mean just flooded it

Yesterday, Bush went to New Orleans.

WHAT HE THINKS THE MESSAGE HERE TODAY IS: “I think the message here today is: Hope is being restored. Hope is coming back.”

WHAT THIS ISN’T LIKE: “This isn’t like a farewell address -- you know, George Bush came and he said, he’s through.” Through talking about himself in the third person.

IT’S EASIER TO REMEMBER WHEN THERE AREN’T ANY: “And even though I’m headed for retirement in about six months, that’s not to say I’m going to forget who my friends are in this part of the world.”

NAME OF THE DAY: “I said thanks to Hunt Downer -- that would be General Downer.” Why I can remember when he was just a Private Downer....

WHAT’S HARD TO BELIEVE: “It’s hard to believe that it was three years ago that Katrina, in essence, wiped out a lot of this city. I mean just flooded it, just destroyed a lot of hopes and a lot of dreams.” Speaking of flooding:

WHAT THERE IS: “There is hopeful signs of progress as housing is restored.”

WHAT ELSE THERE IS: “there is notable improvements.”

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

That’s pathetic

Condi Rice, on CNN, on the Russian threat to nuke Poland if it goes ahead with the Star Wars deal: “That’s pathetic.”

Rice with evil but adorable twin president of Poland Kaczynski

WHAT CONDI IS BEGINNING TO WONDER: “I’m beginning to wonder if the Russian President is ever going to keep his word, or can he keep his word, or what is going on there?”

WHAT IS EMBARRASSING NOW: “He’s the Russian President. He’s the Russian President and he ought to keep his word. But I think what is embarrassing now is the Russian President continuing to make representations that don’t turn out to be true.” Yes, imagine what it would be like to have a president like that.

She praised soon-to-be-former president Musharraf as having “pull[ed] Pakistan away from the brink of extremism.” He also “helped to smooth the path to civilian democratic rule in Pakistan.” Sort of like praising O.J. Simpson for helping to look for the real killer.

Testy v. testosterone

Bush, arriving in New Orleans: “I make no promises. This isn’t a chance for me to be a typical politician and make you a promise that I don’t intend to keep.” Um... good?

Today McCain accused Obama of getting “testy” (let me repeat: McCain accused Obama of getting testy. Sort of a “man bites testy attack dog” story) about being accused of being unpatriotic, which McCain says he totally isn’t doing: “Let me be very clear: I am not questioning his patriotism -- I am questioning his judgment. I am questioning his judgment. Senator Obama has made it clear that he values withdrawal from Iraq above victory in Iraq, even today with victory in sight.... He has made these decisions not because he doesn’t love America, but because he doesn’t think it matters whether American wins or loses.” See? Totally not questioning his patriotism.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

It is possible I might have committed mistakes

Condi on the Russo-Georgian War: “what has Russia demonstrated? It has demonstrated that it can use its overwhelming regional military power to beat up on a small neighbor. That’s what it demonstrated. It can attack Georgian civilians, it can block Georgian highways, it can bomb Georgian ports, and it can say very nasty things about a democratically elected Georgian Government. That’s what it has demonstrated.” You make it sound like a bad thing.

Musharraf’s resignation speech:

ALL? THAT WAS REALLY ALL THE HONESTY AND INTEGRITY YOU HAD? “I am going with the satisfaction that whatever I could do for this nation, for the people, I did it with all my honesty and integrity.”

MMM, COULD BE: “It is possible I might have committed mistakes”.

CHANNELING JOHN MCCAIN: “Some elements have given preface to their own interests rather than the nation.”

The hour-long speech included a long listing of his many accomplishments for Pakistan, such as increased hotel occupancy. He denied that anything that sucks about Pakistan had anything to do with his nine years of dictatorship: “They said that during the last nine years our economic problems and electricity shortages were due to our policies. It is absolutely wrong and deception for the country.” There were three blackouts in Karachi during the speech.

He also repeatedly claimed that none of the charges would stick, because “because I never did anything for myself.” In other words, he wasn’t corrupt, just power-mad. So that’s all right, then.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Just one more issue to be spun or worked to advantage

In a speech at the VFW, McCain, class act that he is, accused Obama of treating veterans’ concerns as “just one more issue to be spun or worked to advantage.”

He also accused him of trying to “legislate failure” by not supporting the surge, repeating his claim that the O Man chose political self-interest over national interest. McCain is clearly not following his own political self-interest here, unless he thinks it’s in his political self-interest to look like a douchebag. Note that for McCain’s charge that Obama chose to reject a policy that was in the national interest to be true, Obama would have to have shared all along McCain’s belief that the surge would work and been lying when he said the contrary.

By the way, according to McCain, “victory in Iraq is finally in sight” but “The hard-won gains of our troops hang in the balance.” It’s like buying a DVD player at Circuit City, isn’t it? The salesman tells you the machine he’s pushing is a marvel of engineering, a piece of technology so advanced as to be indistinguishable from magic, then when you agree to purchase it you’re told it’s really as delicate as a house of cards in a tumble drier and you should buy the extended warrantee.

This is not the time for individual bravado

Must-read of the day: the state of women in Afghanistan, where the majority of women in prisons committed the crime of being raped and where 57% of brides are under the age of 16, the majority of them forced. “Afghanistan is the only country in the world with a higher suicide rate among women than men.”

Musharraf resigns because “This is not the time for individual bravado.” See, and you thought this was the time for individual bravado. Now you know better.

Sunday, August 17, 2008

People are going to begin to wonder if Russia can be trusted

In an interview on Meet the Press, Condi Rice came out in support of Russian intervention in South Ossetia. The problem, and evidently the only problem, she has with the Russo-Georgian War, is that the Russians Went Too Far:

once this broke out in South Ossetia, it could have been confined to South Ossetia. Rather than confine it to that and deal with the facts on the ground there, the Russians decided to go deeper into Georgia, to bomb Georgian ports, to bomb Georgian military installations, to go into the city of Gori. ... But we need to keep the focus on the culprit here, and the culprit here is that Russia overreached, used disproportionate force against a small neighbor... What the Russians did was to unfortunately go well beyond the zone of conflict and threaten Georgian institutions.
Naturally, she was not asked what precisely she meant by “deal with the facts on the ground there,” but her characterization of South Ossetia as an area in which it was legitimate for Russian troops (which she repeatedly calls peacekeepers) to attack Georgians strongly suggests that she is prepared to oversee the transfer of the breakaway provinces to Russia. Someone should ask her to clarify, but none of the hosts of the three Sunday talk shows she went on today did so.

She did warn Russia of the severe consequences for its actions: “People are going to begin to wonder if Russia can be trusted.”

Friday, August 15, 2008

Bullying and intimidation are not acceptable ways to conduct foreign policy in the 21st century

This morning, Bush spoke in the Rose Garden about Georgia, which once had a Rose Revolution. He announced that he’ll be dragging Condi’s ass out to Crawford to report to him “on what she has seen and what she heard in Georgia, as well as in Paris -- I mean, in France. She did not go to Paris.” No one goes to Paris in August, it’s just not done.

“Georgia’s sovereignty and territorial integrity must be respected.” Because if there’s one thing George Bush hates, it’s the sovereignty and territorial integrity of other nations not being respected..

“The Cold War is over. The days of satellite states and spheres of influence are behind us.” Because if there’s one thing George Bush hates, it’s satellite states and spheres of influence.

“Bullying and intimidation are not acceptable ways to conduct foreign policy in the 21st century.” Because if there’s one thing George Bush hates, it’s bullying and intimidation.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

A startling wake-up call

In an op-ed in the Wall Street Journal, John McCain (who begins, “For anyone who thought that stark international aggression was a thing of the past, the last week must have come as a startling wake-up call” – and if there’s one thing John McCain hates, it’s a startling wake-up call, especially during his mid-morning nap or his mid-afternoon nap) insists again that “We Are All Georgians,” despite my poll results to the contrary. Are you people quite sure you’re not Georgians?

Mikhail Saakashvili, who’d be your president if you were a Georgian, has an op-ed in the WaPo, in which he tries to portray the Russo-Georgian War as a purely ideological conflict between democracy and dictatorship, and says, “I have staked my country’s fate on the West’s rhetoric about democracy and liberty.” Er, sorry, we didn’t know anyone was listening to us, much less taking us at face value. Our bad. Signed, The West.

Speaking of democracy and liberty, congratulations to Nevada voters for their primary turnout of 14%.

Oh, and Nevada provides our Name (and Location) of the Day: “veteran Assemblyman John Marvel of Battle Mountain.” Who was defeated in his primary, I might add. How does John Marvel of Battle Mountain get defeated? By one Don Gustavson, which is just a terrible supervillain name.


Condi Rice held a news conference yesterday. She said that if Russia is violating the ceasefire, “that will only serve to deepen the isolation into which Russia is moving.” In an old post, I suggested that there might be something psychological about Condi’s repeated threats of isolation against other countries.

SHE’S THE REMINDERER: “Right now, the key is to remind Russia that it has an obligation to stop its military activities, remind Russia that it is not to further engage in activities that threaten the territorial integrity and sovereignty of Georgia, that it should drop the language concerning the democratically elected Government of Georgia that has been thrown around by some Russian officials, and that it’s time to stop this so that Russia can begin to dig out of the hole that it’s gotten itself into.” You know, if Russia wants advice about how to dig oneself out of a hole one has gotten oneself into, I don’t think they’ll be looking for it from anyone in the Bush administration.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

In the 21st century, nations don’t invade other nations

I don’t think Obama will pick Evan Bayh as his running mate, nor should he, but Obama-Bayh just sounds fun. Say it with me: Obama-Bayh, Obama-Bayh, Obama-Bayh.

Politicians’ statements condemning Russia seem oddly situational, or perhaps I should say temporal. Bush two days ago: “Such an action is unacceptable in the 21st century.” Bush today: “In recent years, Russia has sought to integrate into the diplomatic, political, economic, and security structures of the 21st century. ... Now Russia is putting its aspirations at risk by taking actions in Georgia that are inconsistent with the principles of those institutions.” Did you know that the 21st century had security structures? Presumably to protect it from invasion by the 24st century – they want our women, you know. And McCain today: “In the 21st century, nations don’t invade other nations.”

What, did you expect me to say something about that sentence that would make it more absurd?

McCain plans to send emissaries to Georgia, Senators Lieberman and Graham. Haven’t the Georgians suffered enough?

Get Your War On is now, of all things, animated.

New episodes weekly at

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

We are all Georgians

Attorney General Michael Mukasey not only won’t prosecute anyone for the illegal hiring practices within Justice, because “not every wrong, or even every violation of the law, is a crime,” but won’t undo the politically based appointments Monica Goodling et al made because “People who were hired in an improper way didn’t themselves do anything wrong.” But then, Mike, neither did the qualified people who should have received those jobs based on the, ya know, merits. Said Mukasey, “Professionalism is alive and well at the Justice Department.” Professional what, he did not say.

A professional (although not really looking either alive or well)

Fresh off calling Obama presumptuous, McCain today phoned Georgian President Saakashvili and told him, evidently speaking on behalf of the American people, “I told him that I know I speak for every American when I said to him, today, we are all Georgians.” American readers: Is that true?

Monday, August 11, 2008

Such an action is unacceptable in the 21st century

Bush gave a jolly stiff public scolding to Russia today, saying, “It now appears that an effort may be underway to depose Russia’s duly elected government.” Georgia, Russia, whatever, but hey weren’t the Olympics cool and didja see how I nearly touched that volleyball player’s ass and couldja not tell Laura ‘bout that?

“Russia has invaded a sovereign neighboring state and threatens a democratic government elected by its people. Such an action is unacceptable in the 21st century.” Yes, that’s sooooo 1953. (The word unacceptable, while laughably inadequate, puts the emphasis precisely where Bush wants it, on us: what’s important is not what’s right or wrong, but what the United States is willing or unwilling to accept.)

“These actions have substantially damaged Russia’s standing in the world.” That’s funny, because the US is usually standing in the world on the neck of some smaller, militarily weak nation.

I don’t see America having problems

Bush gave an interview to Bob Costas of NBC Sports.

What did the American basketball team say to him? “Their response was -- well, first of all, obviously these are great stars. And their response was, thanks for coming”.

Interestingly, he responded to Costas’ description of China as “an authoritarian state” with “That’s true.”

But Costas also said that America’s problems reduce its leverage with China, and this could not stand: “First of all, I don’t see America having problems.” Your not seeing America having problems is in fact one of America’s problems. He went on, “I see America as a nation that is a world leader, that has got great values.”

WHAT IN THE LONG RUN AMERICAN BETTER DO: “In the long run, America better remain engaged with China, and understand that we can have a cooperative and constructive, yet candid relationship.” How very... alliterative.

BUSH FINDS THE RUSSO-GEORGIAN WAR INTERESTING: “It was just interesting to me that here we are trying to promote peace and harmony and we’re witnessing a conflict take place.”

WHAT GEORGE’S ATTITUDE IS: “My attitude is, is if you got relations with Mr. Bashir, think about helping to solve the humanitarian crisis in Darfur. That was my message to the Chinese government.”

WHAT GEORGE HAD A CHANCE TO SAY TO THE CHINESE PEOPLE: “I went to church here, and I’m sure the cynics say, well, you know, it was just a state-sponsored church. On the other hand -- and that’s true. On the other hand, it gave me a chance to say to the Chinese people, religion won’t hurt you, you ought to welcome religious people. And it gave me a chance to say to the government, why don’t you register the underground churches and give them a chance to flourish? And he listened politely. I can’t read his mind, but I do know that every time I met with him I pressed the point.”

WHAT IT’S VERY IMPORTANT FOR THE AMERICAN PEOPLE TO KNOW. VERY IMPORTANT: “Bob, it’s very important for the American people to know that coming here gave me a chance, obviously, to root for our team, and you’ve captured that, but it’s also coming here is a sign of respect for the Chinese people.”

Disproportionate response

Army Field Manual Title of the Day: “Money as a Weapon System.”

Bush sort of condemns fellow imperialist Russia: “I’ve expressed my grave concern about the disproportionate response of Russia and that we strongly condemn the bombing outside of South Ossetia.” I assume “disproportionate” is here meant as disproportionately large rather than disproportionately small, you never really know with Bush, but the concept of a “disproportionate response” naturally entails the existence of a proportionate, hence legitimate, response by Russia to events inside of Georgia. The last bit suggests that Russia had the right to attack Georgian forces inside of South Ossetia but not, for example, to bomb Tbilisi.

“I was very firm with Vladimir Putin,” Bush told NBC, which, well, ick.

For your captioning and/or cringing pleasure, some more pics of Bush at the Olympics:

Sunday, August 10, 2008

George goes to the Olympics!

Caption contest. What did Putin say to Bush Friday?

What tips about men’s basketball did Henry Kissinger share?

Ooo, shiny!

White men can’t clap.

Saturday, August 09, 2008

Universal remote

Bush attended services at one of the state-licensed Ant churches in Beijing (Protestant but with no protest permitted). He said, “You know, I’ve just -- Laura and I just had the great joy and privilege of worshiping here in Beijing, China. You know, it just goes to show that God is universal, and God is love, and no state, man or woman should fear the influence of loving religion.” What goes to show that? You went to church in China, which proves that God is universal and God is love? What does “God is universal” even mean?

Of boars and butts

Bush gave his weekly radio address from China, and hey guess what, he’s learned something important: “This trip has reaffirmed my belief that men and women who aspire to speak their conscience and worship their God are no threat to the future of China.” He doesn’t say what he saw or heard that reaffirmed that belief. Maybe another of those magic rainbows. He continued, “They are the people who will make China a great nation in the 21st century.” This actually goes further than he usually goes, beyond a plea for tolerance to one for actual dominance by God-botherers.

You’ve probably seen the footage of Bush looking at his watch during the opening ceremonies.

Meanwhile, back in the States, McCain was campaigning yesterday at the Iowa State Fair. Here is the winner of the, ahem, Big Boar competition.

Back to China. At, I believe, the exact moment Laura and Not-Jenna were touring the Forbidden City, Bush was attempting to explore a little forbidden city of his own.

Wow, look at that ass.

And we all know to what I was referring by “that ass,” don’t we?

This has been another episode of Subtle Political Commentary Theater.

Oh, and Georgia just declared a state of war with Russia. Just sayin’.