Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Daily Telegraphy


So why do I read the Daily Telegraph alongside proper newspapers?

Well, at this very moment the website’s front page features these stories:

David Cameron asks why people care about Kim Kardashian. Also, he doesn’t like hip hop. Shocker.

MI5 agents will wear wigs and makeups when testifying against alleged Al Qaida dude Abid Naseer in Brooklyn. My study of British historical documentaries (okay, Monty Python) suggests that this means they will testify in drag and in falsetto.

Why women should not be on top (on top of men anyway) during sex (I shrieked and stopped reading at the phrase “penile fractures”).

Labour MP Jim Dobbin, who has the most Labour-MP name ever, or rather had, because when he was visiting Poland his hosts told him it was customary to down a shot after every course. He will be missed, probably.

Ukip Leicester local councillor (and candidate for Parliament) Lynton Yates, who has the most Ukip-councillor name ever, wants anyone getting government benefits banned from driving.

16-year-old John Denno has done the rise and fall of the Third Reich in Legos.

Berlin book burnings.


Kristallnacht.


The liberation of Auschwitz.


Hitler’s suicide.



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