Tuesday, September 24, 2002

Virgin shark gives birth!

In theory, this link is to video of the infamous and hilarious Bush “fool me once” gaffe.

If not (and I think the Voice fucked that one up), the audio is definitely available here.

The US invaded another country today, the Ivory Coast. Twenty years from now, we’re going to see stories about American soldiers discovered in jungles somewhere not knowing that the war on terror is over, like those Japanese soldiers after World War II, except in our case it will be because we lost track of how many countries we sent troops to. “Hey, didn’t we deploy some Marines to Yemen? Whatever happened to those guys?”

The next country we’ll have to invade is obviously Israel, which is refusing to stop the siege of Arafat, as demanded by the UN Security Council resolution, and we all know how seriously Bush takes Security Council resolutions.

I think Germany is becoming fed up with being told it now has to suck up to the US. Bush intervened fairly obviously in the German elections, which is unforgivable from what’s supposed to be an ally. The US has, finally, become as hostile to honest differences of agreement as Israel. Which leads me to a new website designed to name and shame anti-Israeli academics in the US. Some of the examples are hilariously mild, much milder than, say, *my* average comments on Israel.

The NY Times had a story today about how Indonesians refuse to believe the report, which the CIA says the Indonesian government leaked and vice versa, that a captured al Qaida guy (and I really wish we’d stop going to war with people who don’t put a U after their Q’s) says it is operating there and was part of a massacre of Christians, planned to blow up the US Embassy and kill the president (of Indonesia). The Times reporter seemed torn between claiming it was just denial--that sort of thing could never happen here--and admitting that the CIA has a history of black propaganda in that country. This is also why the claim last week that Cuba was hindering our efforts by passing on false tips about terrorism was ignored by pretty much everyone.

The Tom Ridge Color of the Day has indeed been down-graded to yellow again. Next time we go up to orange, I at least want to see some shit blow up. The Post says “US Given a Yellow Light As Threat Index Is Eased.” So everybody speed up and try to get through before it changes colors again.

Actually, it’s more dangerous than you think, because Bush says that the Senate is "not interested in the security of the American people." Really knows how to win friends and influence people, doesn’t he? I think what they’re saying in semi-private is probably a lot stronger, at least that’s the hint in the Wash Post. By semi-private I mean fund raisers, to which thousands of important, or at least rich, people go but what is said is never reported in the media. We’re more likely to hear what Bush sings in the shower than what he tells crowds of millionaires.

Sign of the Apocalypse of the Week: a shark in Detroit’s Belle Isle Aquarium has a virgin birth, three in fact. Evidently they can do that.

Excerpt from the Guardian:
A new report calculates today that the European Union spends enough money each year on farmers to pay for a round the world trip for all 21m European cows. Aid campaigners estimate that, thanks to the generosity of Europe's taxpayers, the cows could touch down in London, Shanghai, Hong Kong, Singapore, Hanoi, Siem Reap, Brisbane, Raratonga, Los Angeles and San Francisco and still have enough left over for £400 spending money each. Alternatively, the 38bn euros (£24bn) annual cost of the common agricultural policy (CAP) could pay for an upper class ticket to New York on Virgin, and the cows would get a free haircut, manicure and massage plus a choice of 50 different movies thrown in.

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