Wednesday, February 04, 2004


Without even a driver’s licence.

Ohio’s new “ban on same-sex unions,” as such things are oddly termed, goes well beyond the normal, including allowing Ohio to disregard parental rights granted to a partner by another state’s courts.

Blair, who thinks Bush stabbed him in the back by accepting an investigation, forcing Blair to do the same, is still defending the 45 minutes claim, insisting that his saying that “intelligence shows” that Iraq could launch WMDs within 45 minutes--the very claim that made the invasion of Iraq appear as self-defense--rather than “intelligence suggests,” as people in the, um, intelligence community wanted, was a difference that was “hardly of earth-shattering importance.” Worse, Blair claims that when he made the claim, he didn’t know the 45 minutes only referred to battlefield weapons, which, 1) bullshit bullshit bullshit (and he has been challenged on this by Robin Cook), and 2) again, it removes the claim from the realm of self-defense, although his handlers insist it makes no difference--"Battlefield weapons which are modified to carry WMD are WMD."--as if there’s no difference between an ability to nuke London at a time of his choosing, and an ability to defend himself if he’s invaded. And of course, he didn’t actually have either.

But to put such matters into perspective, even if an entirely incomprehensible perspective, no one beats Rummy Rumsfeld: “As Dr. Kay has testified, what we have learned thus far has not proven Saddam Hussein had what intelligence indicated and we believed he had, but it has also not proven the opposite.”

They’re planning to broadcast the Oscars with a couple of seconds’ delay this year. Anyone else think they’re worried less about something like Janet Jackson and more about something like Michael Moore?

And over on the BBC, John Lydon, who was a punk singer once [ok, I’ve googled him now and he was in the Sex Pistols, even I’ve heard of them] and is now reduced to doing reality shows, was not voted off “I'm a Celebrity - Get Me Out of Here!” this week, and screamed at the at-home voting audience that they were “fucking cunts.”

Speaking of Michael Moore, the superintendent of a Georgia school district with that name has vetoed a high school student’s work-study job as a hostess at Hooters. Hey, as long as she’s not learning about evolution....

When Cheney was chair of Halliburton, it evidently paid $180m in bribes to Nigerian leaders.

Most of those ads the government will take out to tout its Medicare program will be placed by a media firm that also works for the Bush re-election campaign.

John “Dizzy” Edwards’s Top Ten List from Letterman later tonight, so you don’t have to watch it:

`Things Never Before Said by a Presidential Candidate.''

10. ``Vote for me or I'll slash your tires.''

9. ``Forget universal health care - I'm buying every American an XBox.''

8. ``In a crisis, I ask myself, 'What would Tony Danza do?'''

7. ``I'd give you my plan for economic recovery if I wasn't rip-stinkin' drunk.''

6. ``If your last name begins with 'M' through 'Z,' sorry - your taxes are doubling.''

5. ``We're gonna cut the deficit by selling North Dakota to Canada.''

4. ``I have tons of experience from being president of the Burt Reynolds Fan Club.''

3. ``Lady, that is one ugly baby.''

2. ``When I'm president, I'm putting Regis on Mount Rushmore.''

1. ``Read my lips: no new wardrobe malfunctions.''

No comments:

Post a Comment