Today Sarah Palin held her third and final governor’s resignation picnic. She served the masses hot dogs and a speech, both of which were composed of processed, ground-up chunks of miscellaneous unidentifiable meat products and rat turds.
She suggested to the press that they leave the new governor’s kids alone and “How about, in honor of the American soldier, ya quit makin’ things up?” Sarah, no one could make you up if they tried.
SHE’S COMING AFTER YOU, KUNG FU PANDA: “Hollywood needs to know: we eat, therefore we hunt.”
“Be wary of accepting government largess. It doesn’t come free, and often accepting it takes away everything that is free.” The unemployed lady went on to say that it removed incentives to hard to work.
“Alaska is the gate-keeper of the continent.” Don’t let the gate of the continent hit you in the ass on the way out, Sarah.
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