Turkey’s Grand National Assembly deposes the sultan: “The Palace of the Sublime Porte having, through corrupt ignorance, for several centuries provoked numerous ills for the country, has passed into the domain of history.” Which means we can stop using the phrase “Ottoman Empire,” not that many people still were. The Caliphate survives, to be headed by whichever member of the former royal family the Grand National Assembly finds most compliant qualified.
Secretary of Commerce Herbert Hoover calls for the voters to return a Republican Congress because the Republicans have done such a good job with economic recovery and reducing unemployment, which, as you know, Republicans like Hoover always do.
To be fair, Hoover was actually quite good at organizing famine relief in Europe. And now he receives his reward: a blanket made from human hair from a grateful woman in Poland. A nice card would have been fine. “Mr. Hoover is understood to be undecided as to what use to make of the gift.”
Mayor Harry Barber of North Bergen, New Jersey, holds up the pay of the town’s police until after the election to prevent them contributing to his opponent.
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