We would hope he wouldn’t have declared the emergency powers he declared

Today Bush met with Turkish Prime Minister Tayyip Erdogan.

Bush’s word of the day was “people”: “In order to chase down people [PKK] who murder people [non-PKK, I assume] you need good intelligence.” “people [PKK] who are using murder as a weapon to achieve political objectives”. “he has constantly talked to my government about seeing if we can’t work together to get these people [Turkish soldiers captured by the PKK] released. And the point I bring up is that there is at least one effective measure for people in Turkey [I believe “Turks” is the word you’re looking for, George] to see that when we work together we can accomplish important objectives.” “We need to know where people [PKK, the hidden ones] are hiding.” “I’ve assured the Prime Minister that we’re working very carefully and closely with people in the Kurdish part of Iraq [Kurds?] to help deal with the movement of these people [PKK, the moving ones]”.

Bush also made good use of the word hypothetical to avoid answering questions. How would he react to a Turkish incursion into Iraq? “I don’t like to answer hypothetical questions.” And if Musharraf refuses to do what Bush asks (but not in person; Bush still hasn’t talked to Mush), will he cut US aid to Pakistan? “Once again, it’s a hypothetical question.”

Why does he so hate to talk hypothetically? He’s just not very good with verb tenses. “Previous to his decision we made it clear that these emergency measures were -- would undermine democracy.” “As I said earlier in my statement, that we made it clear to the President that we would hope he wouldn’t have declared the emergency powers he declared.” Phfew.


Y’ALL HURRY BACK NOW: “Now that he’s made that decision, I hope now that he hurry back to elections.” As I said, not so good with the verb tenses.

He does offer one great prospect for the Pakistani people: naked elections: “we expect there to be elections as soon as possible, and that the President should remove his military uniform.”

Here’s as close as he came to answering the question about cutting aid to Pakistan: “I certainly hope he does take my advice... And so that’s -- all we can do is continue to work with the President, as well as others in the Pak government, to make it abundantly clear the position of the United States. And then obviously we’ll deal with it if something other than that happens.”

Much of the talk with Erdogan was of course about the PKK. Bush repeatedly talked about the need to share intelligence, which... oh, insert your own joke here, it’s just too easy.

Erdogan doubtless recognized all this intel joke as a stall. “But what we did talk about is to make sure that there is good enough intelligence so that we can help deal with a common problem... And we need to know, in any of these actions, who they are and where they are, in order to make any strategy effective. And therefore, step one is to make sure that our intelligence-sharing is good. The problem oftentimes is that faulty intelligence means that we can’t solve the problem.” So what do we need, oh pointy-haired Dilbert boss? “Good, sound intelligence delivered on a real-time basis, using modern technology”.

NO, REALLY, HIS ACTUAL JOB TITLE IS “NUMBER MAN”: “I have set up a tripartite arrangement, for his number two man in the military to stay in touch with our number man and General Petraeus.”

He also discussed with Erdogan some of the other issues there am between the US and Turkey: “We understand there’s transit issues in airports; we understand that there is issues with money.”

They have to be dealt with

Pakistan’s irony information minister, justifying the crackdown on anti-coup protesters: “If people take the law into their [own] hands, obviously, they have to be dealt with”.


Actually, a minister of irony would be a great idea.

Of truffles, waterboarding and the dastardly Pakistani military

My favorite new crime: highway truffle robbery. Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore, riding through the land...

Arlen Specter will also vote for Mukasey. No surprise there, huh? Says Mukasey assured him privately that if there were a law against waterboarding, Bush would have to abide by it. So clearly that law should be passed – and signed into law – before the confirmation process goes any further.

State Dept Legal Advisor John Bellinger also refuses to rule out waterboarding. Indeed, it’s okay by him if foreign secret services use it on Americans.

Pakistan’s military has usually defended its coups as necessary to fight corruption or chaos or corruption of their precious bodily fluids or whatever, but Mush’s latest coup is clearly about nothing other than his own personal grip on power. The reputation of the military cannot but suffer from being associated with it. Yet I haven’t heard of any dissent at all within the military’s ranks, any reluctance to follow Musharraf’s orders.

By the way, I’ve created a new label for posts about Musharraf, dating back to 1999. Somewhere along the way, the usual spelling of his name gained an R.

Condi and the action that was taken (updated)

Condi speaks to the press again. It’s kind of fun just for the awkward verbal contortions.

For example, she hasn’t decided exactly what to call that thing Musharraf did – coup? martial law? – so she does as generic as she can, “the action that was taken”: “we don’t support the action that was taken because it was extra-constitutional”. Literally: Musharraf issued an entirely new constitution, an “extra” constitution if you will, and then fired the seven Supreme Court justices who refused to ratify it.

She repeatedly refers to a “democratic path” or a “constitutional path,” which is a way of suggesting that something democratic has been occurring in Pakistan while ignoring the absence of any actual, you know, democracy, and of obscuring the fact that any political processes, far from being democratic, have been entirely the result of the will of Pakistan’s military ruler. She is wistful about her illusions: “Because if you get back on a constitutional path, then you can imagine the continued process towards elections, and so, that’s what we’ve been concentrating on.” All she wants is just to be able to imagine continued progress towards phantasmagorical elections.

But of course none of this will affect American support of the Musharraf regime because of our alliterative “continuing counterterrorism concerns.” Indeed, she can’t picture anyone in the US not likewise prioritizing those c.c.c.’s over democracy or the human rights of Pakistanis: “But I would be very surprised if anyone wants the President to ignore or set aside our concerns about terrorism and protecting the American people.”

Here is the key cowardly quote (if I too may alliterate), in which Condi cannot bring herself to criticize Mush personally for his actions:

Q: Are you disappointed in him?

RICE: I’m disappointed at this decision, sure.

(Update: just to show her language was not casually chosen, she repeated it in a Fox interview:

Q: Do we still support President Musharraf?

RICE: Well, clearly, we don’t support the actions he has taken. ...


Q: But you can’t say whether we still support Musharraf at this point?

RICE: Well, I don’t want to personalize this. This is about an action that has been taken. And the action is not supportable.

Not personalize this? Isn’t a coup by a military ruler just a little bit, you know, personal?)

No (inaudible) kidding

For some reason, the quality of transcripts on the State Dept website is often suckier than those on other government sites, and yet, somehow, that very suckiness reveals deeper truths, as in today’s press briefing by Condi and Israeli Foreign Minister Tzipi Livni:

Condi: And I look forward to working to try to advance (inaudible) bilaterally with the Palestinians

Condi: I just want to repeat that the United States does not support a (inaudible) Pakistani leadership prior to the faction, that it would not support extra (inaudible).

Coup in Pakistan

Gen. Musharraf of Pakistan has once again suspended the constitution, arrested his opponents (except for Benazir Bhutto, who made a triumphal return to Pakistan after years of exile a few days ago and then, evidently, just left again; she is now supposedly on her way back), fired (and arrested) most of the Supreme Court, shut down opposition radio & tv stations, telephones, etc etc. But he did it in order to “preserve the democratic transition I initiated 8 years ago.” So that’s all right, then.

(Pardon the paucity of links, by the way; I’m cutting & pasting from all over. My favorite headline, though, from the Times of India: “Mush Blames Terror, Judiciary for Emergency.”)

“Pakistan is on the verge of destabilization!” he warned. Which makes the interesting assumption that a coup is the opposite of destabilization.

He said that “Pakistan’s sovereignty is in danger unless timely action is taken.” Which makes the interesting assumption etcetera.

He said he literally had no other choice. “Inaction at this moment is suicide for Pakistan and I cannot allow this country to commit suicide.”

He said he’s like Lincoln, who “usurped rights to preserve the union.” Yes, he’s just like Abraham Lincoln.

The last 3½ minutes of his 45-minute televised address were in English:



He asked for patience from the international community because “we are learning democracy.”

Mush discussed this step with his advisors on Wednesday, according to the WaPo, so the US knew in advance, since some of those advisors are certainly on the CIA payroll and the NSA listens to their phone conversations.

But Condi refused to say whether Musharraf (with whom she’s spoken several times this week) had warned her he’d be doing this, although it’s pretty clear that he did, which makes the US complicit. She said, “I’m not going to characterize how the conversations went, but we were clear that we did not support it. We were clear that we didn’t support it because it would take Pakistan away from a path of civilian rule, the democratic path -- by the way, a path that President Musharraf himself has done a lot to prepare [Ed.: hah!], and that it was absolutely essential that those elections be held.” In other words, if he holds Potemkin parliamentary elections, we’ll pretend they’re democratic, which they cannot be under these circumstances. Condi says she had told him in one of those conversations, “even if something happens, that we would expect the democratic elections to take place.” Coup + elections = good enough for us.

Indeed, this entire crisis came about because Musharraf insisted on running for president without giving up his position as army chief, in violation of the Constitution, as the Supreme Court was about to rule (Mush accused it of “creating hurdles for democracy”). The source of his authority lies solely in his monopoly of military power, not from the vaguely democratic-appearing processes he cobbled together to give him the title of president.

Condi also warned the Pakistani people not to resist the coup, or at least that’s how I interpret this sentence, in a CNN interview: “There really should not be violence, there should not be activity that will disturb calm, because it’s a difficult time for Pakistan.”

Pentagon spokesmodel Geoff Morrell says that “At this point, the declaration does not impact our military support for Pakistan’s efforts in the war on terror,” adding that Pakistan is “a very important ally in the war on terror”.

Bush has said nothing in public, either before the coup or since, and if he’s talked to Musharraf in the last few days, as Condi has done several times (and Adm. Fallon of CentCom met with him in person Friday), no one is mentioning the fact. Funny, that.

Not Gonzo

In his weekly radio address, Bush demanded the confirmation of Mukasey, which is evidently important in “this time of war,” a phrase he used three times. He repeated the Mukasey Catch 22, saying the Senate shouldn’t make his confirmation conditional on his expressing an opinion on waterboarding because he can’t be briefed on waterboarding unless he’s confirmed because... er, why can’t he be briefed unless he’s confirmed?

Bush says that Mukasey has been “praised by Republicans and Democrats alike for his honesty, intellect, fairness, and independence.”

One of those Republocrats, Dianne Feinstein, did so in the LAT today, carefully explaining the reason she will vote to confirm him: “Judge Mukasey is not Alberto R. Gonzales.” Okay, I could make fun of that sentence all day, that would be setting my bar as low as she has set hers, and that will not do.

She also hangs her hat on Mukasey’s “personal repugnance” for waterboarding, which is completely irrelevant. He may feel personal repugnance for abortions, as Gonzales and Ashcroft certainly did, but his job is to enforce the, you know, law.

She goes on: “I believe that Judge Mukasey is the best nominee we are going to get from this administration...” Say what you will about Bush’s entitled stubbornness, but with supine senators like DiFi, it works. “...and that voting him down would only perpetuate acting and recess appointments, allowing the White House to avoid the transparency that confirmation hearings provide...” For example the confirmation hearings at which Mukasey refused to say whether waterboarding is illegal? “...and to diminish effective oversight by Congress.” I assume that’s a joke of some sort.

Our purposes in this world are good and right

Bush went to South Carolina today to give a speech at the Basic Combat Training Graduation Ceremony at Fort Jackson. He was met at the airport by 1st Lt. Andrew Kinard, who just returned to SC himself after nearly a year in the hospital.


Bush does not seem to have invited Lt. Kinard to come along with him to Fort Jackson. Funny, that.

Bush had a good reason to go to Fort Jackson. “I’m pleased to be here with you and to have a chance to say: ‘Hoo-ah!’” It was the most sensible thing he said.


IN OTHER OSAMA BIN LADEN WORDS: “Osama bin Laden -- who has to hide in caves because the United States is on his tail understands, has said publicly that al Qaeda’s recent setbacks are mistakes -- the result of mistakes that al Qaeda has made. In other words, he recognizes the inevitable -- that the United States of America and those who long for peace in Iraq, the Iraqi citizens, will not tolerate thugs and killers in their midst.”


Bush has irrefutable proof that we are winning in Iraq: “Here’s what this progress means to one shopkeeper in the former al Qaeda stronghold of Arab Jabour. He’s a local butcher. He says that as recently as June, he was selling only one or two sheep per week. Now, the terrorists cleaned out and residents returning home, he’s selling one or two sheep per day.” Wow! This war has been totally worth it!


GEORGE KNOWS WHAT’S IN OUR INTEREST: “It’s in our interest we deny safe haven to killers who at one time killed us in America.”


Dick Cheney was also out and about today, giving a speech to the World Affairs Council of Dallas/Fort Worth. He quoted that John Nance Garner line about the vice presidency not being worth a bucket of warm spit, but said “I guess they didn’t have Air Force Two back then.” What’s he saying? The vice presidency isn’t worth an Air Force Two of warm spit? Air Force Two is one giant spittoon? I don’t get it.

He praised the American Imperium: “As much as a nation of influence, we are a nation of character. And that sets us apart from so many of the great powers of history -- from ancient empires to the expansionist regimes of the last century. We’re a superpower that has moral commitments and ideals that we not only proclaim, but act upon. Our purposes in this world are good and right.” Right, we’re nothing like any of the previous empires, none of which ever said exactly the same things about themselves.

Asked whether American interest in the Middle East had anything to do with oil, he said the fact that we invaded Afghanistan, which has no oil, proves that we didn’t go into the Middle East because of oil. Quod erat demonstrandum.


He later denied the possibility or value of the US becoming energy-independent, saying, “it would be, I think, unreasonable to expect that we would not be integrated with the rest of the world’s economy where energy is consumed.” “Integrated.” Such a nice word for it.

Asked a question about Hugo Chavez of Venezuela (which is how the questioner phrased it), he said, “My own personal view is that he does not represent the future of Latin America, and the people of Peru I think deserve better in their leadership.” Don’t we all. Don’t we all.

The United States has another enemy! Yay!

Condoleezza Rice, in Turkey, says the PKK (Kurdish Workers’ Party) is a “common enemy” of Turkey and the US.


How will we deal with this common enemy? Condi has a cunning plan: “And the United States is committing to -- committed to redoubling those efforts because we need a comprehensive approach to this problem.” I’m sure that’ll do it.

However, she warns, it won’t be so easy, even with all the comprehensiveness and redoubling: “I want to repeat that all across the world, we’re seeing that it is not easy to root out terrorists who hide in remote areas and hide in villages.” This is evidently news to Condi.

George Bush and America, the world’s free nation

Cheney emerged today to give a speech to the American Legion. It must be odd to have to pretend in public to dislike the very things that bring joy to your life (insert Larry Craig reference here). “We do not torture,” he said, suppressing a gleeful cackle. “War is an unpleasant business,” he proclaimed, knowing that the podium was hiding his erection.


Bush also manfully faced the most friendly audience he could find today, at the Heritage Foundation. He thought this speech would be so important (he was wrong) that he gave reporters a preview of it in the morning. (I’ll be mixing together quotes from both). He was giving the speech, he said, because he is “concerned that there are some...” (He refuted his dread arch-enemies, the unspecified, mysterious, shadowy “Some,” quite often today.) “...who have lost sight of the fact that we’re at war with extremists and radicals who want to attack us again” and he would “remind people that even though we haven’t been attacked since September the 11th, there’s still an enemy out there that would like to attack us.” So consider yourself reminded.

He also said that he would end the speech with OTHER WORDS: “And then finally, I’ll conclude the speech by reminding people that this concept of stability has -- in other words, that foreign policy ought to promote stability as opposed to freedom has led to dangers, and that the only way to solve America’s long-term security needs is to remember that the enemy that we face can only recruit when there’s hopelessness and despair; and that liberty has got the capacity to transform societies from hopeless societies to hopeful societies; and that this administration will continue to press the freedom agenda; and obviously, that freedom agenda is being tested in places like Lebanon, Iraq, and the Palestinian Territories and Afghanistan.” You know, other words.


He said that “Unfortunately, on too many issues, Some in Congress are behaving as if America is not at war,” and during a war (the one you were just reminded of), there needs to be a “full national security team in place,” including an attorney general. “My point is, is that it’s creating a -- to have the Attorney General seat vacant for this long -- there’s an Acting Attorney General, of course, but not to have a confirmed Attorney General is not good for the country.” Remember how well everything went when we had Ashcroft or Gonzo?

He said it was “unfair” that Mukasey was asked about waterboarding. “He has not been read into the program, and won’t until he is confirmed and sword in”. Sword in? He may be thinking of the Skull and Bones initiation ceremony. Anyway, he says, whatever interrogation techniques are used by the CIA, they were made legal by what he’s still calling the Detainee Detention Act. “The procedures used in this program,” he asserted, “are safe. They are lawful. And they are necessary.” Indeed, they are safe: there’s even a safe word. Well, a safe sentence: “Oh god I’ll say anything you want me to say, just make it stop.”

OR NOT: Asked by a reporter if the delay confirming Mukasey was political, he said that he’d leave that to his minions: “You can listen to the voices that are out there talking as to whether or not this is politics or not.”


THEY’LL BE COMING ‘ROUND THE MOUNTAIN WHEN THEY COME: “I look forward to visiting with [Turkish] Prime Minister Erdogan on this important subject as to how we can work together to prevent people from coming out of mountain ranges to do harm to Turkish troops.”

Asked if Congress has forgotten we’re at war: “Well, I think there is a tendency for people to say, well, maybe -- let me just say, there are Some who say, don’t call this a war on terror. And there are Some who have accused me of using the words ‘war on terror’ as a way to frighten people into voting booths....” (Presumably cement-lined, bomb-proof voting booths.) “...And I emphasize the word ‘Some.’ As I’ll say in this speech, those who say we’re not in a war on terror are either disingenuous or naive. Either way, the attitude is dangerous because I will have quoted the words of the enemy in the speech, an enemy that said, we’re going to come and kill you.”

NO I WON’T BE AFRAID, NO I WON’T BE AFRAID, JUST AS LONG AS YOU STAND, STAND BY ME: Just as he got fixated on the word “say” in the first sentence of that quote, at Heritage he stumbled over “stand”: “They’re at war with America because they hate what they stand for -- and they understand we stand in their way.”

WHO WILL STAND IN THE WAY OF TERRORISTS? “America, the world’s free nation [sic]”.

GEORGE HEARS VOICES: “Once again, voices in Washington are arguing that the watchword of the policy should be ‘stability.’ And once again they’re wrong.” So all the chaos and instability you’ve caused was intentional?

“When it comes to funding our troops, Some in Washington should spend more time responding to the warnings of terrorists like Osama bin Laden and the requests of our commanders on the ground, and less time responding to the demands of MoveOn.org bloggers and Code Pink protesters.” I suspect he intended a comma after MoveOn.org, but possibly that’s just my wishful thinking as a blogger, like when a reporter called up Dick Gregory to inform him that he was on Richard Nixon’s enemies list, and he said, tell Nixon I accept, quick, before he changes his mind.

Breaking News: George Bush casts a shadow

The LA 8 case is over.

For the second time this week, the AP’s caption-writer is stunned by the fact that Bush “cast a shadow on the wall as he is introduced prior to speaking on the Global War on Terror, Thursday, Nov. 1, 2007, at the Heritage Foundation in Washington.” Of course, since it was at the Heritage Foundation, the shadow he cast was that of Richard Nixon.

The goodwill has not yet been returned

Bush’s Veterans Day proclamation says that veterans “ensured that America remained what our founders meant her to be: a light to the nations, spreading the good news of human freedom to the darkest corners of the earth.” He does know that America is not the same thing as the Jehovah’s Witnesses, just more heavily armed, right?

This morning, Bush attended the 2007 Grocery Manufacturers Association/Food Products Association Fall Conference. Since it’s Halloween, he went as a vegetable.


He had a very important reason to be there, indeed so important that he felt obligated to impart that reason not once, but twice, using, if you will, alternative phraseology: “One of the reasons I’ve come by is to remind you how important you are to our economy. In other words, I’m the kind of person who believes that it’s important for those of us in government to encourage people to take risk and to take investment.”

He introduced Bill Cyr: “I asked Billy where he works. He said, well, I run Sunny Delight beverage company. I said, well, Billy, I quit drinking. (Laughter.) He said, that’s not that kind of alcohol.” A little fixated, are we, George?

A VERY CHIMPY HALLOWEEN: “This morning I was with the Vice President. I was asking him what costume he was planning. He said, well, I’m already wearing it. (Laughter.) Then he mumbled something about the dark side of the force.” Do they really think they can soften Cheney’s image by joking about how evil he is?

WHAT GEORGE LOVES: “I love the fact that people say, I own a business. Ownership is a central part of making sure this country is a helpful -- hopeful country.”


GEORGE DOES NOT KNOW WHAT THE WORD MEMORIALIZED MEANS: “We’re making some progress in convincing people in Washington that low taxes ought to be memorialized in permanent policy.”

WHAT KIND OF PERSON GEORGE ISN’T: “In order to get out of a recession and recover from an attack on the United States, we cut taxes on everybody who pays taxes, because I’m not the kind of person that says, we’re going to cut taxes on you because of your political affiliation and not because of you -- on you because of yours.” I’m glad he’s not the kind of person that says that.


WHEN VEGETABLES TALK: “I think it’s good for agriculture to say, let’s trade.”

EMPOWERMENT! “And one way to become less dependent on oil is to be able to grow products that empower our automobiles.”

PHILOSOPHER IN CHIEF: “Here’s my philosophy -- that government ought to trust private medicine; that we’ve got a fabulous health care system.”

IN OTHER... OH, YOU KNOW: “Under the [S-CHIP] proposal that came to my desk, more than half the children in America could be eligible for government health care. In other words, by expanding eligibility, it means that more than half the children in America would become eligible for this federal program.”

I’D LIKE TO RETURN THIS GOODWILL, PLEASE; IT SEEMS TO BE BROKEN. “I vetoed it. And my veto was sustained. And then I put out the word to Congress, I’d like to work with you on a better bill. And unfortunately, the goodwill has not yet been returned.”


GEORGE BECAME TO ANALYZE: “When I first came to Washington, I said, well, maybe this isn’t the proper federal role; we’ll let the states handle it. And then when I became to analyze the cost to the federal government of these junk lawsuits I determined it was a federal role to do something about them.”

GEORGE HAS A DREAM: “The dream is, is that all of us will have a -- our medical records on a little disk, a little chip that we can carry with us, that will be secure from prying eyes, but nevertheless, will be a part of wringing out cost inefficiencies in a industry that needs to have cost inefficiencies wrung out.” Maybe he should cut down on the nachos before bedtime.

WHAT GEORGE LIKES: “I like it when the after-tax revenues -- income are up.”

WHAT GEORGE KNOWS: “I know it’s necessary to do the hard work now so the first chapters of the 21st century will be positive chapters.” 9/11, the Iraq War, you know, positive chapters.

Democratic Debate: Rocky XXVIII

Obama says that his fight with Hillary is the most hyped fight since Rocky fought Apollo Creed (hint: he’s Rocky in this scenario). That is some damned disturbing imagery there.

(Later: oh, I get it, he thinks a Rocky reference will go over big because he’s in Philadelphia, where, I believe, that movie was set.)


John Edwards was then invited to pile on Hillary (I believe that makes him Mr. T), which he did, accusing her of “double talk,” although I would say that her evasiveness and over-caution makes it more half talk or quarter talk.

Hillary asks, if she’s so like the Republicans, why are they all attacking her, huh, huh? Um, is that a trick question? She says it’s because she’s stood up against George Bush and his failed policies. Doesn’t mention any of his failed policies she’s actually hindered in the tiniest way. Edwards later says that the R’s keep attacking her because she’s the one they want to run against. Ouch.


Hillary says she will solve Social Security without raising any taxes through “fiscal responsibility,” whatever the hell that means.

After Russert invited the candidates to beat up on Hillary, he invited them to beat up on Iran, because he thinks it will make the debate more exciting. He is wrong.

Biden says the Kyl-Lieberman vote played into the “urban legend” that the US is in a crusade against Islam. I think he means that’s a legend in urban areas like Baghdad, Fallujah, you know, the urban areas with bomb craters.


Hillary, like all of them, says she will try diplomacy on Iran. Says sanctions are a part of diplomacy. I don’t think she knows what the word “diplomacy” means.

Oh, pardon me, she said “vigorous diplomacy.” Well, that’s entirely different.


Edwards says, correctly, that Kyl-Lieberman gave Bush and Cheney everything they wanted and that it looks like it was written by the neo-cons. Dude, what do you think Joe Lieberman is if not a neo-con?


(Long gap here where I lapsed into a hypnotic state, but I’m pretty sure no one said anything interesting.)

Biden on Giuliani: “There’s only three things he mentions in a sentence: a noun, a verb, and 9/11.” Nice. Of course Biden mentions about 173 things in each of his sentences.

Asked about Twitt Romney twice “confusing” his name with Osama bin Laden’s, Obama says he never pays attention to Romney, who’ll probably say something different next week. Man, he needs to hire Biden’s gag-writer.

When did Kucinich start talking about impeaching Bush & Cheney?

And then they said stuff about the alternative minimum tax. And hedge funds.

Lightning round. Can any candidate answer any question in 30 seconds? Surprisingly, no. Honestly, if they can’t solve education in America in 30 seconds, how can they possibly expect to be president? Gravel wasn’t allowed on the stage today, but moron blowhards Tim Russert and Brian Williams were allowed to run this debate.

Only Chris Dodd says illegal immigrants shouldn’t get driver’s licenses, as NY is now debating. He said solemnly that it’s a privilege, not a right. Then played a short film strip about road accidents and pedestrian right-of-way. Hillary... seemed to have 3 or 4 positions on the subject – sometimes 30 seconds is actually too long.


Kucinich confirms that he did indeed see a UFO. Obama dodges question on whether there is life on other worlds. Did I mention that answers on education were confined to 30 seconds?

Only Dodd wants to decriminalize marijuana.

Biden is asked if he would advise people not to buy toys from China for Christmas. Did I mention that answers on education were confined to 30 seconds?

Only Obama is asked what he’ll go dressed as for Halloween, dammit. He’ll wear a Mitt Romney mask, which will have two faces. Anyone have any costume suggestions for the other candidates?

As lawful as they are valuable

Director of Central Intelligence Michael Hayden says that the CIA interro-torture programs are “as lawful as they are valuable.” Quite.

Asked if waterboarding is torture, he said, “I need to understand the totality of the circumstances in which this question is being posed before I can give you an answer.” See, and you thought he didn’t have a good reason for not answering.

Thompson and McCain sound the alarm against the UN and hippies and bears (oh my)

I just received yet another email from the McCain campaign on the major issue of our times: Hillary Clinton’s support for a subsidy to the Woodstock Museum. He repeats that no one can be president if they supported it. It’s right there in the Constitution: you have to be a natural born citizen, have achieved the age of 35, been 14 years a resident within the United States, and not have voted for any damned hippie museum.

And that $1m is not the only “shameful spending” in the multi-trillion-dollar budget (hint, Maverick John: Guantanamo, the Iraq War, security for certain senators visiting markets in Iraq...). He also names and shames $74m for peanut storage, which may or may not be justifiable, who knows, but doesn’t strike me as outrageous on its face, and $3m to study the DNA of bears. Hey, I think studying bear DNA is a great use of taxpayer dollars, don’t you? What does McCain have against bears?

An email from the Fred Thompson campaign brings a warning from Fred that the UN (well, the United Nations Sub-Commission on the Promotion and Protection of Human Rights) is planning to come here and take away all our guns. Fred says, “the UN report remarkably denied the existence of any human right to self-defense, evidently overlooking the work of Hugo Grotius, the 17th century scholar credited as the founder of international law...” Also, gun control leads to genocide, as in Bosnia and Rwanda: “Disarming civilians under the guise of international human rights law will only lead to more such genocides by ensuring that civilians can never defend themselves! It would be funny if it weren’t so perverse.”

I will shoot him with your products

Which is more disturbing, that McCain visited a gun factory and said, “I will follow Osama Bin Laden to the gates of hell and I will shoot him with your products,” or that he later felt obligated to clarify that it was a “joke” and he didn’t really mean that he would personally shoot bin Laden?

Or that he seems to have endorsed Thompson Center Arms as the Official Firearms Provider of the Hunt for Bin Laden.

(Update: damn, Colbert did this exact material in last night’s show, which I just caught up with. That’s why he’s running for president and I’m not, I guess.)

At least proposed spending is skyrocketing

This morning Bush met with Republican congresscritters and made a not-at-all-petulant statement about how very, very disappointed he is with the job Congress has been doing. “Congress is not getting its work done,” he said. Worse, it’s getting done the work he doesn’t want it getting done. “The House of Representatives has wasted valuable time on a constant stream of investigations, and the Senate has wasted valuable time on an endless series of failed votes to pull our troops out of Iraq.”

WHAT ELSE IS ENDLESS? “They’ve also passed an endless series of tax increases.”

IN OTHER WORDS: “They haven’t seen a bill they could not solve without shoving a tax hike into it. In other words, they believe in raising taxes, and we don’t.”


PROPOSED SKYROCKETING: “Spending is skyrocketing under their leadership -- at least proposed spending is skyrocketing under their leadership.”

He accused Congress of “going alone and going nowhere” on S-CHIP. “And that doesn’t even include spending that would actually pay for 2 million people to move from private health insurance to an inefficient, lower-quality, government-run program.” S-CHIP: inefficient, lower-quality, and Bush-run (he does know that “government-run” means that he’s in charge of running it, right?), but good enough for, you know, kids. Indeed, he insists on “a bill that will take care of the poor children that the initial bill said we got to do”. Initial law, George, when a bill passes it becomes a law, you should really know that by now. And again, I want to point out that when he appeals to the Original Intent of the Framers of S-CHIP, he means Ted Kennedy and Orrin Hatch.

GIVE ME THE MONEY, OR THE HOSTAGES GET IT: “I know some on the Democrat side didn’t agree with my decision to send troops in, but it seems like we ought to be able to agree that we’re going to support our troops who are in harm’s way.” The frightening thing is, he probably does actually believe that just giving him everything he asks for is a perfectly reasonable compromise.

He also met this morning with Ugandan President Museveni. And his head. His big bald head. So bald, so rubbable. So very very rubbable.

Political exchange of the day: Fred Thompson

At a campaign event in New Hampshire:

Q: I’m proud to say that in January 2008 New Hampshire has passed a law facilitating civil unions here. ... What is your belief for federal civil unions to be passed?

FRED THOMPSON: Soviet Union?

Q: No, civil unions.

THOMPSON: Oh. No, I would not be in support of that.

Obama reaches out to hermetically sealed gays and nontraditional people

Barack Obama called up the NYT a couple of days ago to announce that he plans to attack Hillary for being too poll-driven and vague and disciplined, and since then has worked to make poll-driven and vague and disciplined look good by a series of gaffes, including lecturing gays (oh all right, L’s, G’s, B’s and T’s), who he believes are “hermetically sealed from the faith community,” by which he means that he thinks they never ever hear homophobic Christians saying that they’re going to hell, and are the poorer for it.

I hadn’t been planning to mention that, since I don’t think any blog reader has been hermetically sealed from that quote today, but a Google News search for it returned hits only from gay publications and websites.

And an article about campaigns reaching out to Hispanic voters quotes Obama’s head of Hispanic outreach, Joan Kato: “We are reaching out to nontraditional people.” I think you’ll find, Joan, that Hispanics think of themselves as just, you know, people.

Situational awareness

The now, um, retired, director of external affairs for FEMA, John Philbin, says he should have stopped the fake press conference (he was one of the fake reporters asking questions) but “I did not have good situational awareness of what was happening.” I believe “We did not have good situational awareness of what was happening” is actually the FEMA motto.

Philbin, by the way, has a doctorate in communication from the University of Maryland.

The fun bit of it

Quote of the day, Lt. Col. Derek Plews, spokesmodel for the British military in Basra: “The Arab psyche is really bad at the administration side of things. They just think about the fun bit of it, such as firing the bullets.”

The AP caption for this picture


reads, “President Bush casts a shadow as he waves upon his arrival at Philadelphia International Airport in Philadelphia, Monday, Oct. 29, 2007.” They seem to be surprised. C’mon guys, it’s Cheney who casts no shadow. Everyone knows that.

Inconsistent

AT&T, my local phone company, has eliminated the time-check number, just to be obnoxious.

Can you tell it’s been a slow news weekend?

For example, a headline and subhead on the front page of Monday’s WaPo reads “U.S. Promises on ( ) Don’t Match Actions. Bush Expresses Passion for Issue, but Policies Have Been Inconsistent.” Can you guess the missing word? Click here to find out if you were right. The prize for guessing correctly (or indeed for guessing incorrectly): a deep sigh and a sense of ennui.

Evidently King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia thinks that the rest of the world isn’t as serious about stopping terrorism as Saudi Arabia is. Fancy that.

The Bushies used to talk about the need to preserve Iraq’s territorial integrity, meaning the Kurds wouldn’t be allowed to split off. Curiously, when Turkey is threatening to invade, and massing men and tanks on the border (the subtle hint that the purpose of any invasion will not be confined to hunting down PKK fighters in the mountains: tanks), nary a peep do we hear about the sanctity of Iraq’s borders. Funny, that.

Hey guys, wanna march in step towards the sound of the guns?

Secretary of War Gates, at the Conference of European Armies, demanded, again, that NATO countries (lookin’ at you, Germany) end the limits on the use to which their troops in Afghanistan may be put. “As you know better than most people, brothers in arms achieve victory only when all march in step toward the sound of the guns.” I think he thinks he’s fighting the Crimean War. He also stole some rhetoric from John F. Kennedy, saying that “In Afghanistan a handful of allies are paying the price and bearing the burdens.” He threatened to pull American troops out of Kosovo and suggested that Americans might begin to question the utility of NATO.

He suggested that those military leaders pressure their political leaders to lift those restrictions. Civilian rule is so darned inconvenient.

Wherein is revealed what will happen if you show Arnold Schwarzenegger a hill

Will Durst: “The good news is FEMA showed up in California. The bad news is they came to fix the levees.”

This picture is of a plane dropping fire retardant on one of the Southern California fires.


Speaking of... well, speaking of un-PC segues, George Bush came to California today, or perhaps I should say Kallyfohrnia, since he praised Governor Terminator fulsomely at every turn: “The thing I like about Governor Schwarzenegger, he says, you show me a problem, I’ll charge it; if you show me a hill, I’ll go up it”. If you show him a boob, he’ll grope it.


As others have pointed out, this is a not terribly veiled swipe at Louisiana Governor Blanco, part of his continuing attempt to shift the blame for the poor response to Katrina from himself to her. “And we’ve got a problem out here, and I appreciate his leadership. It makes a significant difference when you have somebody in the statehouse willing to take the lead.” For example, Schwarzenegger took the lead in “Kindergarten Cop” and “Last Action hero.”


He asked our esteemed governor if he still gets called the Terminator. Arnie responded with an amusing reference to his problems with premature ejaculation: “Yes, especially by my wife.”


Bush came with a message: “First thing I want to let the people know out here in Southern California is that many across our nation...” Literally dozens. “...have been moved by the plight of the citizens who have lost their homes, lost their possessions, and particularly those who have lost their life.” Particularly.

If you look at the liberal media and you look at the way they describe it, you could say it was torture and you shouldn’t do it

Israel will go ahead with the collective punishment of Gaza by cutting off its electricity. The idea is that after any rocket attack, power will be cut for 15 minutes, increasing over time. Israel says that its designation of the whole territory of Gaza as a “hostile entity” means that it is no longer bound by international law relating to occupied territories. Which is odd, because you’d expect that pretty much every territory covered by those laws because they are occupied militarily by another nation would be at least a little bit, you know, hostile.

Giuliani says he doesn’t know if waterboarding is torture. Evidently, there might be non-tortuous versions of waterboarding with which we are unfamiliar: “It depends on how it’s done. It depends on the circumstances. It depends on who does it...” There’s your key sentence right there – whether an act is torture depends on who does it. “...I think the way it’s been defined in the media, it shouldn’t be done. The way in which they have described it, particularly in the liberal media. ... And I hate to shock anybody with this...” Just can’t help himself, can he? “...but the newspapers don’t always describe it accurately. ... So I’d have to see what they really are doing, not the way some of these liberal newspapers have exaggerated it.” So he doesn’t know what is being done, but he does know that liberal newspapers are exaggerating it.


He went on to say that torture is bad, but “aggressive questioning” is good. He never actually defines aggressive questioning, but later says that he personally used it against Mafia members, and admits that “the line between the two is going to require some really difficult decisions about drawing it”. He went on to say that the president could order “certain things” done to a prisoner to extract information about an imminent nuclear terrorist attack. “The president has to have that kind of leeway. We’ve got to trust our president well enough to allow that.” So once again, it’s a nation of men, not a nation of laws.


He went on (and on and on for more than five minutes – do click on the link to read or watch the video of the whole thing) to say that Democrats even consider sleep deprivation to be torture. “I mean, on that theory, I’m getting tortured running for president of the United States. That’s plain silly. That’s silly.”

Looking forward

Bush is coming to California, because it’s on fire, and he made a statement before getting on the plane. Dude, when you’re going to inspect the scene of an ongoing natural disaster, do not say that you’re “looking forward” to seeing the governor and “looking forward to spending some time with some of the firefighters” and “Looking forward to my trip out there.” Did they promise him a side-trip to Disneyland?


CONTEST: What is Bush’s favorite ride/attraction at Disneyland, and why?


Although looking forward with giddy anticipation to his visit, he also put on his Sad Chimp face: “I fully understand that the people have got a lot of anguish in their hearts.”

At long last

In part of his Cuba speech (see previous post), Bush ostensibly addressed members of the Cuban police, military or government, asking them, “When Cubans rise up to demand their liberty,” not to, you know, shoot them. He told them, “There is a place for you in the free Cuba.” They might be wondering why George Bush gets to decide who does and does not have a place in the free Cuba.

Speaking of people giving themselves undue powers, Hillary Clinton told the Guardian that she would give up some of the extra-constitutional powers Bush has grabbed for himself, but declined to specify which ones, saying she would decide after a “review” – after she took power. There are several reasons why this is disquieting. 1) That statement indicates that she plans to keep one of those extra-constitutional powers: Bush’s claim that only the president gets to decide what powers the president exercises. 2) In the system of checks and balances we’re supposed to have, it is actually already her job as a United States senator to “review” the exercise of presidential power. 3) Just as candidates for office need to lay out their positions in order for the democratic process to have legitimacy – if all she said about Iraq was that she would have to “review” what her policy would be after the election, she could not claim a democratic mandate for that policy – we also need to know what office candidates are actually running for. We might think that someone was qualified to be dogcatcher but not governor, and we might think that Hillary was qualified to be an ordinary, garden-variety president, but not one with all the chimperial powers Bush has claimed for himself.

Morons of the day: 24 Oklahoma state legislators (out of 149) will refuse to accept the Korans they given by a state panel on ethnic diversity, because “Most Oklahomans do not endorse the idea of killing innocent women and children in the name of ideology,” according to Rep. Rex Duncan, who read all about the Koran on the internet (as opposed to reading the copy of the Koran conveniently provided to him). I can’t be bothered to read all about Rex Duncan on the internet, but he is the brains behind Oklahoma’s new “Global War on Terrorism” license plates.

Tom Tancredo asked the INS, or whatever they call it these days, to raid a press conference held by Dick Durbin for a bill to legalize illegal immigrants of high school age, because he was pretty sure there’d be illegal aliens there. Durbin issued a statement: “Congressman, have you no shame?” Um, no. Has he ever met Tancredo before? Indeed, has anybody who has ever been asked that question since Joseph Welch first posed it to Joseph McCarthy actually had any shame whatsoever?

Bush on Cuba: The socialist paradise is a tropical gulag

Quote of the day, as seen in every other blog and now in this one, from Rudy Giuliani: “I took a city that was known for pornography and licked it to a large extent”.

He also assured a blind man that he has a 2nd Amendment right to bear and carry arms.

John Ashcroft, speaking at a Catholic college yesterday, said that detaining people in Guantanamo indefinitely without trial (which, oddly, he called, approvingly, “inordinate detention”) is “an act of humanity.” He added that inordinate detention is acceptable when weighed against the possibility of releasing someone who might then take up arms against the US again.

Bush gave a speech at the State Department today about Cuba, which he accused of many acts of humanity. For example, did you know that in Cuba it is illegal “to read books or magazines without the express approval of the state”? Did you know that “Housing for many ordinary Cubans is in very poor condition, while the ruling class lives in mansions.” Imagine, a country where the poor people have crap housing and the ruling class live in mansions, why that’s... uh, pretty much every single country.

“Many of the cars on the street pre-date the revolution...” he said. Dude, those cars are classics. “...and some Cubans rely on horse carts for transportation.” Dear lord, there are actually people deprived of the use of a gasoline-powered internal-combustion engine, how do they live with the shame?

“There are long lines for basic necessities -- reminiscent of the Soviet bread lines of the last century.” Or the United States during the Depression. “Meanwhile, the regime offers fully stocked food stores to foreign tourists, diplomats and businessmen in communism’s version of apartheid.” Yes, selling goods and services to tourists is just exactly like apartheid.

People, he said, are serving long acts of humanity in Cuban prisons for the crime of “dangerousness.” And he just happened to have the relatives of some of those prisoners with him, although he was rather vague about what it was they actually did – “advocating freedom,” “daring speak the truth about the regime,” etc. And of course he got several of their names wrong (speaking of names, he never uttered Castro’s once).

He even accused Cuba of probably doing other things that were pretty darned bad: “And as with all totalitarian systems, Cuba’s regime no doubt has other horrors still unknown to the rest of the world. Once revealed, they will shock the conscience of humanity.” Possibly it will be revealed that Castro doesn’t floss after every meal and occasionally scratches his balls. We just don’t know. But we do know it’s pretty darned shocking, whatever it is.


He called on all freedom-loving nations to help the Cuban people by letting them access the internet in their embassies’ lobbies.

And he generously offered “to invite Cuban young people whose families suffer oppression into the Partnership for Latin American Youth scholarship programs, to help them have equal access to greater educational opportunities -- if the Cuban rulers will allow them to freely participate.” In a program for “young people whose families suffer oppression.” I don’t know Cuba could turn down such an offer.

He reaffirmed his intention not to lift the economic sanctions on Cuba, which wouldn’t benefit the Cuban people anyway because “the source of Cuba’s suffering is not the embargo, but the communist system.” “As long as the regime maintains its monopoly over the political and economic life of the Cuban people, the United States will keep the embargo in place. ... America will have no part in giving oxygen to a criminal regime victimizing its own people.”

He told any Cuban schoolchildren who might be listening, “Do not believe the tired lies you are told about America.”


“The socialist paradise is a tropical gulag,” he said. So it’s a tropical socialist gulag paradise.

You know, Cuba may not be a paradise, socialist or otherwise, but it’s hard to take criticism of Cuba seriously when it’s so hyperbolic, and it’s impossible to forge a realistic foreign policy towards a cartoon version of a country that only exists inside George Bush’s chimp-like head.

Fyuh

Singapore’s parliament passes a new law legalizing heterosexual oral and anal sex (“carnal intercourse against the order of nature,” as the old British colonial law phrased it), while voting down a proposal to legalize gay male sex. Plan your vacations accordingly.

The 2nd weekly news-parody podcast by John Oliver of the Daily Show (and early episodes of Mock the Week, for my British readers) and Andy Zaltzman is available and recommended.

Bush talked fire with the Cabinet this morning: “I started off the meeting by summarizing a series of conversations that I’ve had regarding the fires in Southern California. I had a conversation with Governor Schwarzenegger....”

Here’s how I believe that conversation went:

Bush: Fire... bad.

Schwarzenegger: Fyuh... baahd.

Bush: Bad.

Schwarzenegger: Baaahd.

Will we have confidence in the liberty to be transformative?

Bush spoke this morning at the National Defense University. He went there because the students, unlike those of the inferior National Defense Community College, have been rigorously taught all about wars and stuff: “The men and women of the National Defense University understand what is at stake in today’s war. First of all, you understand we’re in war. And secondly, you understand the stakes of this war.”


BUSH CHANNELS STEPHEN HAWKING: “With the presence -- with the passage of time, the memories of September the 11th have grown more distant. That’s natural. That’s what happens with time.”

EMPTY CHATTER: “They intend to strike our country again. Oh, some dismiss that as empty chatter; I’m telling you, they intend to strike our country again.”

A REAL CHALLENGE: “And one of the real challenges we face is will we have confidence in the liberty to be transformative?”

He claimed that CIA torture of prisoners had thwarted numerous terrorist plots and posed a query: “Those who oppose this vital tool in the war on terror need to answer a simple question: Which of the attacks I have just described would they prefer we had not stopped?”


The main thrust of the speech was a call for Star Wars in Europe: “The need for missile defense in Europe is real and I believe it’s urgent.” How urgent? “Iran could develop an intercontinental ballistic missile capable of reaching the United States and all of Europe before 2015. ... Today, we have no way to defend Europe against the emerging Iranian threat”. The emerging threat that Iran will go to war with Europe in 2015. Sorry Europe, but honestly, I’m prepared to risk it.