I can press when there needs to be pressed

Friday, Bush did back-to-back interviews with Israeli television, with Al Hurra, the tv station the US operates in Iraq and the Middle East, and with Al Arabiya.

Asked if he can really achieve peace by the end of 2008, he lowered the bar a tad: “I think we can reach a vision of what a Palestinian state would look like.” So Bush is visiting the Middle East to “reach a vision.” Because people having visions in the Middle East has never created any problems before.

IN OTHER VERBS WORDS: “And so the goal is to have something other than just verbs -- words. In other words, here’s what a state will look like.”

ICE CREAM FOR EVERYONE!: “There needs -- Abbas, who has agreed that Israel has the right to exist, must be able to say to his people: be for me, support me, and this is what can happen; if you follow the way of the terrorists and the killers, this will never happen.”

THE GREATEST UNDERSTATEMENT IN THE HISTORY OF GREATEST UNDERSTATEMENTS: “I also believe that the leaders know me, and I know them, and that there’s a -- you know, they say, well, are you going to have a time table? One time table is the departure of President George W. Bush from the White House -- not that that I’m any great, heroic figure...”

IN OTHER SCARY WORDS: “It means to me that Iran was a threat and Iran is a threat. In other words, just because they had a military covert program that it suspended doesn’t mean, one, they could restart it. And two, doesn’t mean that their capacity to enrich couldn’t -- you know, so-called civilian program -- couldn’t be transferred to a military. So I see it as a threat.”

HIP REPLACEMENT: “I tell my friends from Texas, I left the state with a state of principles, and I’m returning with the same set of principles.” Still in their original shrink-wrap. “And I didn’t compromise my beliefs in order to be the popular guy, or the hip guy, or the guy that every -- you know, the cultural elite likes.”

BUSH REVEALS WHEN HE FIRST NOTICED THAT THE SUN IS YELLOW: “You know, my first trip to Israel, and only trip to Israel, was in 1998. And I remember being in a hotel room and opened the curtain over the Old City, and the sun was just coming up, and it just glowed. It was golden. And I told Laura, I can’t believe what I’m looking at.” And she told me that the people outside my window were saying the same thing and could I put some pants on.

Yes, that joke was inspired by Life of Brian.

How he can help the peace process: “I can press when there needs to be pressed; I can hold hands when there needs to be -- hold hands.”

SOMEWHAT UNFORTUNATE METAPHOR: “There’s going to be all kinds of distractions, and people will be trying to throw up roadblocks and people will be trying to cause these gentlemen to -- not to -- lose sight of what’s possible. And my job is to help them keep a vision on what is possible.”

THE FIRST STEP IS TO: “And so the state will come into being, subject to, but the first step is to -- here’s what a state will look like.”

On Lebanon’s stalled presidential process: “We’re making it awfully clear to -- publicly and privately -- that Sleiman, who was selected by the -- by a lot of the players there inside Lebanon, is the right choice; if that’s what they want, that’s who we support”. Traditionally, it’s considered a major violation of diplomatic protocols to support a candidate for office in another country. Just saying.

HONORING THE NOTION: “And yet, as opposed to honoring the notion of staying out of -- and to stop obstructing politics, Syria just has not been helpful at all.”

He says “Lebanon’s survival as a democracy is, in my judgment, very important for the world,” but he won’t be going to Lebanon, because “there’s only so much time.”

THE SAME MESSAGE: “Therefore, part of our strategy is to get others to send the same message that I’ve consistently been sending to President Assad: If you want to be isolated, if you want to be -- or if you want -- you have a choice: Do you want to be isolated or a part of the world? You can make the choice. You can hang out with a limited number of friends, like Iran, or you can have better relations in the neighborhood and in the world. It’s your choice to make.” Because the Middle East is just like a high school lunch room.

Actually, it kinda is.

AS OPPOSED TO CHIMPY DIGNITY: “I would hope that they would say President Bush respects my religion and has great love for the human -- human being, and believes in human dignity.”

Al Arabiya asked if Bush would ask Olmert to halt settlement activities, which they called a major obstacle to peace. Bush wouldn’t even give them that much: “I think the major obstacle to peace is going to be the politics of both Palestinians and Israelis trying to take advantage of the difficult work that these two leaders are going to have to do to define a state; that’s what I think. I think that extremists, in some instances, will try to stop the peace.” After a bit more blather, he conceded that settlement activity is “a problem” (as opposed to an obstacle), but that he would personally do nothing about it: “But there’s a mechanism to deal with that, and that is the road map commission... to deal with these road map issues. Now, we can solve those -- we can work through those problems, but the key is to define a state.” I would have thought that the presence of citizens of another country occupying large chunks of your territory, not subject to your laws and authority, protected by a foreign army, might have a little something to do with defining a state, but that’s just me.

WORKING WITH CONDI TO UNSTICK IT: “And what ends up happening in this process is that the leaders will commit, and then they’ll get their committees to work, and it gets stuck. And that’s when I’ll have to work with Condi Rice to unstick it”. I’d put a joke in here, but each version of “Like the time I got my ( ) stuck in ( )” I come up with is more disturbing than the one before.

BECAUSE IT’S ALL ABOUT YOU, GEORGE: “I hope that as a result of this interview and my trip, that people come away with the notion that George Bush understands now is the time to move.”

Says he cares about Palestinians because “my religion teaches me to love your neighbor.” I didn’t know he even knew my neighbor.

Iran “will be a danger if they’re allowed to enrich, because they can take the knowledge on how to enrich and convert it to a covert program.”

However, “I also believe that the Iranian people are not bad”. They’ll be thrilled to hear you think so.

But what thrills George? “you know what thrills me the most is that the average Iraqi’s life is becoming more hopeful.” Also, anything shiny. Shiny things thrill him because they’re all shiny.

WHAT ARE THERE TOO MANY OF? “There’s still too many suiciders”. He did not say how many suiciders is the right amount.

Republican debate: If you tell a half-truth as if it is the full truth, then it can become an untruth

Hillary’s new theme is the contrast between talkers (Obama) and doers. This seems a little dangerous, since Bill Clinton was very much a talker and very much (ahem) a doer. Sometimes both at once, if I remember the Starr Report correctly.

Another day, another presidential debate (at least it was just one today), this time without Ron Paul, kept out by Fox. Missed the little guy. He and Dennis Kucinich, who was excluded from the ABC debate yesterday, should have held their own debate.


Romney explained that one of “the great lessons of Ronald Reagan” is that cutting taxes grows the economy.

Romney seriously got in Huckabee’s face, demanding to know if Arkansas’s taxes went up while he was governor. Huckabee dodged (rather ineptly) four times before admitting that they indeed went up, blaming a court order forcing the state to improve education. “You know, education is a good thing for kids,” he informed Romney. Also roads. “People want roads,” he informed Romney. Especially roads leading the hell out of Arkansas. Later, when Romney tried to question him again, the Huckster refused to talk to him any more, and looking rigidly straight ahead, said, “I believe I’ll let Chris [Wallace] be the moderator here.”


Romney finds it “kind of offensive” that D’s are attacking corporations which are creating jobs (in yesterday’s debate, he demanded of McCain, “Don’t turn the pharmaceutical companies into the big bad guys”).

Giuliani said that R’s are better than D’s at getting people out of poverty, and that they just need to tell poor people that, and to do so in as condescending a way as possible. For example, as mayor, “I would go into the neighborhoods where I was being castigated for work fair and I would say to them, ‘I’m doing workfare because I love you more. I care about you more.’” He says that the proof of his effectiveness in getting people out of poverty was that when he left office, a lot fewer people were receiving welfare. Quod erat demonstrandum.

McCain on Bin Laden: “I know how to get him, and I will get him.” Asked later to elaborate on how he’d “get him,” Mickey C said he’d do it by expanding intelligence capabilities and by making it the top priority. That’s so crazy it just might work!


Huckabee wants the border fence built “with American labor and American materials.”

Huckabee commits heresy: “Even Ronald Reagan can make mistakes” (on giving amnesty to illegal aliens).

There was a lot of talk about the relative merits of a senator or a governor becoming president, especially in foreign policy. Giuliani, who was neither, cited his experience in, oh, what was that event again? And that “a Saudi prince handed me a $10 million check and wanted me to use it as a criticism of American foreign policy, I handed that check back to him and told him what to do with it”. See? a born diplomat. Also, he threw Castro and Arafat out of the UN’s 50th anniversary celebration, so don’t say he has no foreign policy experience.


McCain said he never heard Romney criticizing Rumsfeld. That’s because I was a governor, replied Romney, adding that he thought there were intelligence failures in Iraq. For example, not realizing that Iraqis didn’t want to be invaded. “There were some who said there would be dancing in the streets when we came into Baghdad, and there was, but for a short period of time.” He added that “We were understaffed by a dramatic amount.” “Understaffed”? I believe the military have their own term, Mr. CEO. The Trader Joe’s I went to a couple of days ago, that was understaffed.

The Huck repeated that Guantanamo is “too darn good,” so he wants to shut it down, and it’s not because of what the world thinks, “I don’t care what the rest of the world thinks.”

The Huckster’s “vertical leadership” thing is really beginning to irritate me. “[P]eople are looking for a positive
president who leads not so much horizontally — left, right, liberal, conservative, Democrat, Republican — but vertically, up, not down.” What? WHAT??

Huckabee on Romney’s attack ads: “if you tell a half-truth as if it is the full truth, then it can become an untruth.”

Ain’t it the, uh, truth.

Democratic debate: Likeable enough

Dem debate. This time I’m just reading the transcript, because enough really, and life is too short to listen to Bill Richardson.

Charlie Gibson says there will soon be a terrorist nuclear attack on an American city, he’s sure of it, and how would the candidates respond to one. Edwards says that he would find out who was responsible and go after them, “because if someone has attacked us with a nuclear weapon, it means they have nuclear technology”. Also, the US should “react strongly, but to do it in a way that is calming for the American people and calming for the world”. Edwards is really really off his game.

Obama said, “I am the candidate of change, and if a nuke went off, I would immediately change my underwear.” No, what he said is that he is also for retaliating. Honestly, did Gibson expect this question to lead to any major revelations?

Hillary adopts the Bush policy: the hypothetical perps may be stateless terrorists, but “the stateless terrorists will operate from somewhere.” So we should bomb the shit out of that country.


Obama is against mandatory health insurance because many people are without health insurance because they can’t afford it. Boy, that’s not what the R’s said in their debate.

Then Hillary criticizes him for wanting to make it mandatory for parents to insure their children. I guess it shows he’s a hypocrite, or something.

Edwards says that he and Obama are powerful voices for change, and “Any time you speak out powerfully for change, the forces of status quo attack.”

Hillary, who for some reason seemed to think someone had said her name, attacked responded, “I want to make change, but I’ve already made change. I will continue to make change.” She then gave Bill Richardson three quarters, two dimes and a nickel for a dollar bill.

I’m a little off my game too.

She said that is an agent of change and embodies change and a woman president would be a nice change and did I mention change at all?


Gibson said that the Surge is working (“were it not for the surge, instead of counting votes we’d be counting bodies in the streets”) and tried to get the candidates to agree. Hillary said, “unfortunately, I don’t see any reason why they [American troops] should remain beyond, you know, today.”

A local ABC reporter told Hillary that NH voters “are hesitating on the likability issue.” Only a reporter would think that likability is an “issue.” So why are you so unlikeable, senator, or at least less so much less likeable than Barack, who is quite likeable? Hillary says she too thinks Barack is likeable but “I don’t think I’m that bad.” Obama tells her she’s “likeable enough.” How much is enough? Anyway, I don’t really see her adopting that as a campaign slogan.



During that exchange, Bill Richardson was making puppy eyes at everyone, hoping someone will say that he’s likeable too. They didn’t. Poor Bill Richardson.

Edwards: “When I see these lobbyists roaming around Washington, D.C., taking all the politicians to cocktail parties, I mean, the picture I get in my head is my father and my grandmother going in that mill every day”. Well, the lobbyists could take all the politicians to mills, or all the mill-workers to cocktail parties...

Later he added that politicians go to cocktail parties “every single day.” Maybe they just really like cocktails. He compared himself with another crusader: “Teddy Roosevelt took them on, busted the monopolies, busted the trusts. That’s what it’s going to take.” Only in Edwards’s case, he’ll be busting the cocktail parties. “You cannot nice these people to death,” he added.

Obama said he had banned lobbyists buying meals for members of Congress. The reporter pointed out that they can still feed them at those cocktail parties, as long as they’re standing up.

Shorter Democratic debate: Change. Change change. Change change change. Change.

Change.

Republican debate: Not subject to a bunker mentality

First of three presidential debates this weekend. Kill me. Transcript.

In the foreign policy segment, the candidates all praised George Bush and his glorious little war, and ganged up on Ron Paul for failing to understand America’s true role in the world: innocent victim.


Giuliani: the Islamic threat has “nothing to do with our foreign policy,” but comes from their “perverted thinking.” Later, looking for examples of terrorism against non-Americans, he cited as an act of Islamic terrorism the 1972 Munich Olympics.

Romney: “The president is not arrogant. The president is not subject to a bunker mentality.” Huckabee, who asked if Romney had actually read all of his article before attacking it (Romney said he had, knowing no one would believe he read it any more than they believe Huckabee wrote it), took the opportunity to backtrack, saying that what he meant by “arrogant” was Rumsfeld’s insistence that Iraq could be occupied with a small military force.

Romney said the US and its allies (the US still has allies?) should “move the world of Islam to modernity and moderation”. This is a guy who spent two years unsuccessfully trying to convert the French to Mormonism.


(They’ve all been reading up on radical Islam. Romney, who told Paul he didn’t understand what radical jihad is, talked about someone named Sayyid Cuetip. Huckabee, of all people, did a better job of pronouncing Sayyid Qutb’s admittedly challenging name.)


Fred Thompson propounded this exciting concept about when the US should involve itself in the affairs of others nations: “We should only go in where we should and where we’re able to.”

At which point Jeri Thompson sighed.

McCain: “I didn’t say we needed a secret plan for withdrawal [from Iraq].” Secret plan? Who has a secret plan? I think he’s remembering Nixon’s secret plan for getting out of Vietnam.


I still don’t know what Huckabee means by “vertical leadership.”

Romney got increasingly testy at the jibes against him, as when McCain called him the candidate of change. Romney is quite thin-skinned.

In the segment on immigration, which as always mostly involved a learned lexicological discussion of the meaning of the word amnesty, McCain went out of his way to invoke the sacred name of Joe Lieberman, who says that anyone who says McCain supports amnesty is a liar.


Thompson, asked about oil company profits, says he “takes note” when they profit, and he takes note when they lose money. When has an oil company ever lost money? Well, an oil company not run by George W. Bush, obviously. Thompson says high oil prices are from supply and demand, and China going all over the world making deals with dictators. Thank God we only get our oil from democracies.


What’s up with that weird thing with Giuliani’s eyes?

Eisenhower started the program to put a man on the moon? Whatever, Rudy.


Huckabee wants a $1 billion prize for the first person who comes up with a car that can get 100 miles per gallon. Oh Huck, you’ll have to do a lot better than that: Exxon-Mobil’s bounty is $10 billion for the head – just the head – of the first person who comes up with a car that can get 100 miles per gallon.

The Huck says dictators in the Middle East and Venezuela are “enslaving” the American people.

I am always concerned about violence

Thursday, Bush was interviewed by Reuters about his trip to the Middle East. The region originated so many world religions, but the Monkey God was more concerned with mythology: “You know, kind of one of the interesting myths is I haven’t been to the Middle East”.

Why is he going? “[T]o remind our Arab friends and allies, one, they can count on... the United States to provide security in the region”. Because that always works so well. “[B]ut also remind them that they have a great opportunity to help advance the process and to recognize the important role that Israel will play in helping to establish a Palestinian state”. So helpful.


In fact, he will be spending the entire trip “reminding” people of things: “to remind the Palestinians and the Israelis that in order for there to be peace that there has to be a vision of what a state will look like”; “remind the Arab leaders that they, too, can have a constructive role”; “remind everybody that a truly lasting peace will occur when the leaders from both sides make that commitment”; “I will remind them that a country that can suspend a program can easily start a program”. “And my challenge is to remind the American people that while they’re paying attention to these primaries there is a President actively engaged solving problems.”

IN OTHER WORDS: “So the vision is set out, something around which people can rally -- in other words people in the Palestinian Territories can say, I’m for this, this is what I want to have happen, and therefore we reject those who espouse terror.”

IN OTHER WORDS, AND OTHER TRACKS: “So in other words, there’s a dual track that parallels the negotiations on what the state would look like; but actually there’s a third track as well, which is helping the Palestinians develop the institutions necessary for the state to be a state that meets the needs of its people.” “In other words, there’s a series of steps we’re taking”.

MIDDLE EAST LEADERS HAVE A RESPONSIBILITY: He will “remind” them that “they can easily stay mired in the issue of the moment, and that they have a responsibility, it seems to me, is to make sure that as they deal with problems, but to think about what a definition of a state will mean to their own security and for peace.”


Watch a political master at work masterfully concealing his ignorance about what’s going on in the region he’s about to visit (masterfully):

Q: And are you worried that the latest violence over there is going to undermine your efforts?

BUSH: Am I worried about violence undermining --

Q: The latest violence over there --

BUSH: I’m worried about violence everywhere in the world undermining the efforts of free societies to emerge.

He even slipped in an IN OTHER WORDS: “In other words, people use violence to stop the emergence of a free society. That’s the conflict we’re in. And so I am always concerned about violence.”

Paying attention, Huckabee?

He said there should be a political accommodation in Kenya, presumably between the people who stole the election and the people who actually won it, “some kind of arrangement that will help heal the wounds of a closely divided election.” Reached for comment, Al Gore just sighed. And Bush warned, “it’s going to be hard to help a country if it gets wracked by violence.”

The assassination of Benazir Bhutto is “another wake-up signal to the realities of the world in which we live.” “After all, this brave woman was killed by terrorists with a terrorist act.” He talked about the need for cooperation with “the Paks.”

Asked if he believed Al Qaida was responsible, he judiciously said, “I will withhold judgment until we know the facts -- but it has all the hallmarks of how they operate, and that is to kill innocent people, to murder. It was cold-blooded murder, and they did that -- they’ve done that -- or people like them, or people affiliated with them, or people who think they’re -- you know, people who are trying to copy them murder innocent people for political objectives. And so I can’t make an accusation in this case as to who did it until -- I’m sure we’ll find out.”

THAT CAN BE PAINFUL: “I’m also concerned, as I mentioned, about people feeling the pinch in their homes.”

One of the reasons I’m going is to remind them of the work they got to do

In preparation for his upcoming trip to the Middle East, Bush gave a couple of interviews today, the first to Israel’s Yediot Ahronot, the second a roundtable with newspapers from the other countries he’ll be visiting. At one point he said that he went to war with Iraq because “I decided to make sure words meant something.” I assume this was meant ironically.

TO MAKE SURE WORDS MEAN SOMETHING, THEY MUST FIRST BE IN OTHER WORDSED: “In other words, as far as we were concerned, he had weapons of mass destruction which could have been used in a deadly way.” “In other words, there’s got to be a recognition that we need institution-building, there needs to be work.” “In other words, Russia has basically taken that argument away from the Iranians that said, we are -- have the sovereign right to have a civilian nuclear program, and they said, fine.” “And there’s a lot of church and faith-based groups involved in southern Sudan trying to improve the lot of people living there, in other words, the great humanitarian outreach that takes place.” “In other words, the rebel groups cannot take advantage of -- continue to take advantage of this notion that they can do what they want without being serious about the peace.”

He talked about creating a Palestinian state “subject to the road map.” He said that Olmert “understands the significance of defining a hopeful state.” He knows that because he did that soul-looking-into thing he does so well: “And so when I talk to Prime Minister Olmert, I listen very carefully to whether or not he’s able to think beyond the moment. And I’ve come to the conclusion that, yes, he is a man of vision.”

“BY THE WAY” IS THE NEW “IN OTHER WORDS”: “And the United States, by the way, can help both parties. That’s why I’m going: to help boost the confidence of both parties to reach out for a vision. And by the way, the trip is more than just going to Israel and the Palestinian Territories. I’m also going to the Arab world”. And 6 more “by the ways” in the roundtable.

AT LEAST HE’S GOT AN AGENDA: “Now, they got work to do, and one of the reasons I’m going is to remind them of the work they got to do.”

IN FACT, THERE WILL BE A WHOLE LOT OF REMINDING: “the American President can help move the process forward by reminding friends and allies in the Middle East about the importance of the two-state solution and what they can do to help.” “I remind people that the President should -- must understand, like in the Middle East, that the conditions must be ripe for people to go for peace”. “I will remind them that we’ve got a three-track strategy”. “part of my trip is to remind our friends and allies how important it is for Lebanon to succeed”. “I will remind them that what happens in parts of the world matters to the security of the United States of America, and that we look forward to being a constructive force and working with allies like allies should do.” “remind them of this ideological struggle in which we’re involved”. “My job is to remind people that laying out a substantive, real vision around which people of good faith can rally is instrumental to peace.”

IT’S GOOD THAT SOMEONE UNDERSTANDS WHAT THE HELL HE’S SAYING: “Both understand, as well, that I said conditions on the ground, the realities of the situation will help determine what a -- the borders look like.”

He said, “You know, women are now very active in the Kuwaiti parliament.” As what? This is not the first time he has tried to claim that there are women in the Kuwaiti parliament.

He said, “My friend, King Abdallah of Saudi Arabia doesn’t get enough credit for beginning to reform his society.” Yeah, wonder why that is. “I admire him because he is a man who commands a lot of respect from me, personally”. Incidentally, Bush has never been to Saudi Arabia before, which surprised me.

“[T]he Kingdom of Saudi Arabia recognized that murderers threaten not only other parts of the world, but threaten the Kingdom’s own security.” You know, with the murdering and all.

BUSH HAS NO IDEA WHAT A “MAGHREB” MIGHT BE:

Q: Thank you. Thank you again, Mr. President. Mr. President, I wanted to ask you, your visit to the region will not include the Maghreb Arab.

BUSH: Will not include --

Q: The Maghreb Arab --

BUSH: Yes, that’s right.

The reporter then took pity on him and explained the term.

He actually has been to Morocco, before he was president: “I’ll never forget drinking crushed almond milk [as opposed to Bogie, who came for the waters], and enjoyed the wonders of the desert... I threw snowballs in Morocco one time in the Atlas mountain range.” See, he’s already done everything there is to do in North Africa.

BUSH REVEALS WHAT HIS GREATEST CONTRIBUTION TO HISTORIOGRAPHY WILL BE: “I’ll be dead before the true history of the Bush administration is written.”

February 2008 California proposition recommendations

Looking for June 2010 proposition recommendations? Click here.

Update: Official election results here, and added below in purple (figures subject to some change when all the absentee ballots are counted).

Prop. 91. Transportation funds. This is the first time I’ve ever seen the pamphlet “Yes” argument actually ask you to vote No. And there is no “No” argument, because this whole issue was already settled by Prop 1A in 2006 and shouldn’t be on the ballot at all. I have no idea what would happen if 91 actually passed. You could vote yes just to be ornery, but I say just skip it. Lost 42-58.

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Prop. 92. Community college fees. Limiting fees is good, and would help return community colleges to their function as places of continuing lifetime education, learning for the sake of learning, as well as the vocational functions which are important but are currently over-stressed (including in the Yes argument). But then, fees should also be limited for the UC and Cal State systems as well, with much more predictability (and community college fees here are quite low compared to most other states, unlike those of UC and Cal State). Where 92 becomes completely unacceptable is in letting the voters of 2008 set budget priorities far into the future, as if Californians 5 or 10 or 15 years from now can’t be trusted to understand the value of education as well as we can. In a democracy, setting priorities is the job of the democratically elected legislature. So while I’d like to see fees rolled back, this is not the way to do it. No. No, 57-43.

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Prop. 93. Term limits. This alters the 1990 term limits initiative, which limited candidates to serving 6 years in Assembly and 8 in the State Senate, which has resulted in some candidates scrambling to get themselves elected to the other house, to a limit of 12 years all told in either or both house, with current members allowed 12 years in their current house even if they previously served in the other one. So instead of 14 years, they will get somewhere between 12 and 20 years. Hidden in all those details is an interesting change in the principle of term limits: the 1990 version was focused on the seats, ensuring that they turned over every 6 or 8 years, while the 2008 one is focused on the politicians themselves.

Term limits are undemocratic, based on the assumption that voters cannot be trusted. And 17 years of this experiment haven’t brought any improvements to the legislative process or made legislators more responsive to their constituents. So I resent having a choice only between two forms of term limits. This one is probably better than the 1990 version in eliminating the intriguing and plotting of termed-out legislators trying to get into the other house, so I will probably vote yes, but if you want to vote no because you feel the exemption which incumbents are trying to give themselves doesn’t pass the smell test, I wouldn’t argue with you. Despite a late endorsement by Schwarzenegger, this loses 53.6% to 46.4, probably due to the self-serving exemptions, although it may also have created suspicions by being too complex.

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Props 94-97. Ratifying Schwarzenegger deals with four Indian tribes in Southern California to increase the scale of their casino operations – a lot – while increasing the share of their revenue to the state.

The ballot arguments leave some questions unanswered: Can California really keep that many slot machines running non-stop? How many of them would have themes from Schwarzenegger movies? “I’ll be back... once I’ve withdrawn all the money from my children’s college accounts.” If we agree to let the state legislators stay in office until the last ounce of flesh has rotted off their skeletons, would they agree to stop wasting our time with crap like this? Except that we know we can’t trust them with an issue where so much money is involved, in the form of campaign contributions, freebies, and “free” money for the budget. We can see this in the way that protections for workers disappeared from the compacts. This suggests that the state won’t properly oversee the labor and environmental provisions (and the tribes are exempt from many federal and state laws, free to regulate themselves). I’d also have wanted provisions restricting advertising.

These measure give favorable advantages to just four of the state’s 108 Indian tribes, small ones at that, and those tribes are already beginning to fraudulently purge tribal members so they can divide the windfall among fewer people. No. All win with just under 56%, from a combination of endless commercials with sad-eyed Indians and greed for free money to fill the budget short-fall.

Comments and rebuttals welcome.

The knickers saved the day

Iowa voters are caucusing, or Iowa caucusers are voting, or something, but one thing is sure: whatever the results, the corn abides.

Also, no one has to pay attention to Iowa again for four years.

Okay, am I the only one who saw the headline “China Ships Food Aid to Zimbabwe” (BBC) and thought, but an hour later you feel like you need food aid again?

Speaking of obvious straight lines, China is planning to change its method of execution from shooting to forcing the prisoner to suck on toys made for export to the United Stateslethal injection.

Best line about the Tatiana the Tiger incident, from Jon Carroll: “Here’s a rule of thumb: If it’s burning bright in the forests of the night, best not to throw rocks at it.”

Headline of the day: “Giant Knickers Put out House Fire.” I have refrained from including a photo of the somewhat scorched hero knickers (heroine knickers, I guess). Said the proud owner of the garment in question, “My family could have been in hospital but the knickers saved the day.”

Not quite the headlines of the day, but here are two successive AP headlines: 1) “Importance of Teaching Evolution Noted.” 2) “Man Using GPS Drives in Front of Train.” Here endeth the lesson.

The story after that is “Unemployed to Sterilize Monkeys in India.”

A people perverted

Giuliani’s latest fear-mongering ad may be the fear-mongeringest yet:



“A people perverted”?

As I was watching Mike Huckabee on Jay Leno, I suddenly wondered if watching Leno meant I was crossing a picket line like Huckabee (who does like his crosses). The Huckster claimed to have been under the impression that Leno had made the deal with the writers’ union that in fact Letterman’s production company made. Appropriately, then, the Huck plagiarized an old line of Jon Stewart’s, saying he wanted to remind people of the guy they work with rather than the guy who laid them off (Stewart said in 1999 that the Republican House managers of the Clinton impeachment looked like every guy who ever fired his dad).

The Huck said that when he was a minister he saw every single “social pathology,” so they were not abstract to him and he could put a name and face to each one. However he was evidently applying terms like “social pathology” to his parishioners.

Speaking of social pathologies, he said that if he had run that attack ad, he would have felt like he needed to take a shower, and then I swear said something about wanting to give Romney a shower.

He explained that his “Fair Tax” would be applied to drug deals and prostitution, thus ending the black economy overnight.

Well, that’s what he said.

I guess he can not only put a name and face to every social pathology, but also a sales tax of 23%.

Love at first sight:

Caption contest: Why is this man grimacing?

Reuters caption: “U.S. President George W. Bush (R) grimaces while stepping off the Marine One helicopter as he and first lady Laura Bush (2nd R) return from a holiday visit in Texas to the White House in Washington, January 1, 2008.”

Wherein is revealed the primary agent of peace

The pope says recognizing non-“traditional” families will lead to war. “The family is the primary agent of peace,” he said. And haven’t they done a great job so far? Really, thousands of years of patriarchal heterosexual families = thousands of years of peace and harmony. The family, he said, is “the first and irreplaceable educator of peace.” Dude, have you ever actually met a family?

If people want to be cynical about it, they’ll be cynical about it

Sgt Frank Wuterich, leader of the squad that carried out the Haditha Massacre, who both ordered the massacre and participated in it (see previous posts on Wuterich here and here, and all Haditha posts here) will be charged with manslaughter but not murder. 24 innocent civilians murdered, no one charged with murder.

Mike Huckabee, as you probably know, held a press conference today to unveil his “negative attack” ads against Romney (“No executions”, “Supported gun control”), but instead he announced that the ads, which he showed to the assembled reporters, would not run. Unless they do: an email he then sent out (which included the phrase I just quoted, “negative attack”), noted, “If it was run at all, it would be until the stations pulled it off their schedules.” So that’s all right then.

The ad ended, “If a man’s dishonest trying to get the job, he’ll be dishonest on the job.” And if a man’s a pious hypocrite trying to get the job... Asked if his showing the ad at the presser might spark cynicism, the Huck said, “If people want to be cynical about it, they’ll be cynical about it.”

Is that true?

more at twiigs.com...

No, there is no option for not being cynical about it. I mean, there is just... no... option.

Huckabee is presenting this as yet another of those tales of temptation and redemption those Baptists love so much: “I believe that Americans aren’t interested in politics that divide us, they want their leaders to focus on what will lift them up and make things better. I almost forgot that today in the face of the withering barrage of criticism we have endured over the last few weeks from my rivals. I say almost, because our negative ad won’t run.” Unless it does.

By the way, one of those things that will lift us up and make things better: banning abortion, the subject of another ad which he did start running today.

With Jesus and Truckers magazine behind him, Huckabee can’t lose

Daily Telegraph headline: “Bhutto’s Son Given Key Role in Party.” The keys to Dad’s Jaguar? Maybe when you’re older, son.

Bhutto the Younger running the Pakistani opposition from his punt on the Cherwell reminds me of a story about the one-time master of Magdalen College, Oxford, greeting a new pupil who happened to be the imperial prince of Japan. He asked what his name, Prince Chichibou, actually meant. “The Son of God,” Chichi said. Warren replied, “Of course you’ll find we have the sons of many famous men here at Magdalen.”

Mike Huckabee went on Meet the Press this morning. He bragged about his accomplishments in Arkansas: “And I left my roads in great shape, took them from the worst in the country to what Truckers magazine said were the most improved.”

Russert brought up an old speech to the Southern Baptist Convention in which the Huckster called for “tak[ing] this nation back for Christ” and asked where that leaves non-Christians. Huckabee: “Oh, it leaves them right in the middle of America.” Surrounded by an electrified barbed-wire fence.

He stood by his old statements that homosexuality is a “sinful lifestyle,” explaining, “when a Christian speaks of sin, a Christian says all of us are sinners. I’m a sinner, everybody’s a sinner. What one’s sin is, means it’s missing the mark. It’s missing the bull’s eye, the perfect point,” adding, “The vagina, it’s missing the vagina. There, you made me say it, Russert, are you happy now? Are you happy?”

He said that gays may or may not be born “that way,” but “the behavior one practices is a choice. We may have certain tendencies, but how we behave and how we carry out our behavior––”, at which point he gulped and abruptly changed the subject.

He claimed that as governor he never tried to legislate his beliefs. But what about his attempts to ban abortion? Huckabee: “Well, that’s not just because I’m a Christian, that’s because I’m an American.” So that’s okay then. “It’s not a faith belief. It’s deeper than that. It’s a human belief. ... If I believe that your intrinsic worth is not changed by your ancestry, your last name, by your IQ, by your abilities or disabilities, if I value your life and respect it with dignity and worth because it is human, then that’s what draws me to the inescapable conclusion that I should be for the sanctity of every and each human life. ... I like it that in this country we treat each other--at least we should--with that sense of equality.” Would he send women who have abortions to prison? No: “I consider her a victim, not a, not a criminal.” So much for that sense of equality.

The best revenge

After inheriting the leadership of the Pakistan People’s (As Long As Those People Are Named Bhutto) Party, Benazir Bhutto’s 19-year-old son, Oxford student Bilawal told reporters, “My mother always said democracy is the best revenge.” In response to a question, he answered, “Why no, I haven’t studied Irony yet, I believe that course is offered next term.” He will also be studying the History of Feudalism, which he says “will come in jolly handy.” He is anxious to return to his “chums” at Oxford. “They call me ‘the Paki Harry Potter.’ Most amusing!”


(If it’s not clear, the “best revenge” quote is real, the others not so much.)

See Dave Barry’s review of 2007, “a year that strode boldly into the stall of human events and took a wide stance astride the porcelain bowl of history.”

Okay, maybe not that unexpected

Bill Clinton, campaigning for Hillary: “You have to have a leader who is strong and commanding and convincing enough ... to deal with the unexpected.” He added, “For example, when I got caught with Monica....”

What, like I’m the only one thinking it?

A healthy democracy

The London Times reports, under the subtle headline “Putin’s Babes Sex Up Duma,” that Putin has decreed that the United Russia party needs more of the aforementioned babes as candidates for the Duma, especially young former athletes who have posed for men’s magazines naked and/or semi-naked. But did the Times provide any pictures? It did not.

Politicizing this tragedy

Bush on New Year’s: “This weekend is a good time to give thanks for our blessings -- and to resolve to do better in the coming year.” Bush could spend all of 2008 lighting his farts and still do better than in any other year of his life.

Speaking of setting the bar unbelievably low, I’ve got another entry in the game of Gotcha against Huckabee: yesterday on McNeil-Lehrer I heard him refer to Benazir Bhutto as a candidate to be president of Pakistan.

But then Hillary Clinton, asked by Wolf Blitzer whether Musharraf should resign, said, “If President Musharraf wishes to stand for election, then he should abide by the same rules that every other candidate will have to follow.” Er, Hills, he was “re-elected” in October, until 2012. That’s kind of what all that fuss was about, with the fired supreme court justices and the state of emergency, remember?

Blitzer asked Hillary about Obama’s questioning of her judgment and thus her credentials for dealing with crises like this (and by the way, Obama gives the impression of reflexively opposing anything Hillary says, as when he argued against her call for an international investigation of the Bhutto assassination, saying, “It is important to us to not give the idea that Pakistan is unable to handle its own affairs.”). She said Obama is “politicizing this tragedy,” whereas she of course is “focused on extending my sympathy to Benazir Bhutto’s family.” Through a CNN-O-Gram.

Let me express my sorrow that Benazir is dead,
By speaking live on satellite with a talking head.

Let’s see, what rhymes with Blitzer...?

Courage and common sense

An email from Moldy Joe Lieberman today asked for donations to McCain, saying, “When others were silent, and it was thought politically unpopular, John had the courage and common sense to sound the alarm about the mistakes we were making in Iraq and to call for more troops and a new strategy there.” 1) No one likes an I-told-you-so. 2) McCain didn’t tell us so, at least not in the, you know, real world. 3) Lieberman certainly didn’t tell us so, claiming over and over that everything was going swimmingly in the quagmire, so he should really be asked if he lacked the courage and common sense he claims McCain had.

Mike Huckabee says our response to the situation in Pakistan should be to “have an immediate, very clear monitoring of our border, and particularly to make sure, if there’s any unusual activity of Pakistanis coming into the country.” In fact, he’s calling for a fence to be built along the US-Pakistan border.


(I originally made that joke in a comment on Left I, before hearing that the Huck thinks Afghanistan is to the east of Pakistan.)

Scene from a New Zealand-Bangladesh cricket match.

Benazir Bhutto assassination

Wonkette has a gallery of photos of Benazir Bhutto’s rally, before and after the assassination. Not for the weak of stomach. I couldn’t spot a single woman other than Bhutto in any of the pictures: not at the rally, among the dead, or in the mourning crowds.

When he put her under house arrest last month, Musharraf said it was because of threats against her by a foreign intelligence agency. He should now be asked to be a little more specific.

Heard some of Musharraf’s statement pretending to feel sad about Bhutto’s death. Not for the weak of stomach.

Bush’s statement was his usual one-size-fits-all one about “murderous extremists” trying to “undermine Pakistan’s democracy” (which does not exist), of the need to bring the perpetrators to justice (which does not exist, with the lawyers in jail and any even slightly independent judges fired), of the need “to honor Benazir Bhutto’s memory by continuing with the democratic process,” by which he presumably means the elections Musharraf intends to rig after banning his opponents from running. Bhutto, Bush said, “refused to allow assassins to dictate the course of her country.” Um, George, what do you think just happened?

The culture of being outdoors

I’ve seen several headlines along the lines of “San Francisco Zoo Baffled by Tiger’s Escape.” Well, since they haven’t found any welding equipment, grappling hooks or lock picks, I’m going to venture a guess that Tatiana climbed and/or jumped out.

Amsterdam police are protesting a new rule that they not use cannabis whilst off-duty. Says the chairman of the police union, “Police should not be put in pigeonholes in which they can no longer be themselves.”

REACHING OUT TO REPUBLICAN VOTERS BY SHOOTING SOMETHING SMALL AND INOFFENSIVE: Mike Huckabee shot a pheasant in Iowa, saying, “Maybe it will show that I certainly understand the culture of being outdoors.”


The Huckster explained that it’s hunters who are the true conservationists. “It’s the hunters who actually keep the wildlife alive. A lot of people think that when you hunt you’re destroying the wildlife.”

REACHING OUT TO WOMEN VOTERS BY ASKING THEM TO PIPE DOWN, THERE’S A GAME ON, AND OH YEAH COULD YOU GET ME A BEER, HON?: Fred Thompson, asked about his abortion policy, turned naturally to... a football analogy: “We’re on the 10-yard line, and it’s like if we can’t score a touchdown on our own 10-yard line ... we won’t run a play that will take us to the other guy’s 20-yard line. I’m talking about doing something that can get done.” Which supposedly is meant to communicate something about restricting abortions at the state level. Then, “we can collect our marbles and see where we are then.”

Thompson also agreed with an Iowan bigot that hearing Spanish-language options when you call the power company is “sickening.” Also, having to press 1 for English leaves him plum tuckered out.

Preemption is not a pillar, it’s a means

Condi Rice gave a somewhat testy interview to Die Zeit. She took issue with the interviewer calling pre-emption one of the pillars of Bush’s foreign policy:

RICE: Well, first of all, preemption is not a pillar; it’s a means. It is --

Q: It’s a national security strategy.

RICE: It’s a national security means.

So that’s okay then.

She said that the reason so many Coalition of the Willing (COW) countries are pulling their troops out of Afghanistan and Iraq is that “many of [them] did not invest in their defense capacity for a long time.”

Somebody’s been hanging around Chimpy too long: “It’s as a component of peace, but also as a component of a moral responsibility of not to leave anybody living in tyranny if you can avoid it.”

She still claims that Hamas winning the Palestinian elections was a win for our side: “But you have a democratic government and a presidency that is the legitimate authority of the Palestinian people and you have Hamas unable to deliver and therefore stripped of some of the -- stripped of some of the romance of the resistance without responsibility.” So the Israeli blockade of Gaza = Hamas “unable” to deliver.

On Russian pressure against Star Wars being sited in Poland and the Czech Republic: “You know, when -- before Russia tells us what they think of a proposal, they go to the press. ... It’s pretty transparent. And so I think that -- I hope that they’ll reconsider their ways.” Elsewhere in the interview, she talked about Russia’s turn away from democratic values, but when it comes to diplomacy, here she is complaining about Russia being transparent and telling them to stop it.

Since I have been begged not to show any more scary pictures of Condi, I will illustrate this post instead with a charming picture of a chimp and his dog.

Yes, that is jolly belligerent

You know what I’m looking forward to? A BBC Radio 4 program
Wednesday on puns, by Stephen Fry.

A caption contest. The caption provided by the White House is: “President George W. Bush makes Christmas Eve telephone calls to members of the Armed Forces at Camp David, Monday, Dec. 24, 2007.” In case the poor writing confuses you, the members of the armed forces are not at Camp David, George is.


It’s been a long time since I posted personals from the London Review of Books, because for some reason only a few have been appearing on the LRB website lately. So if anyone’s looking for a date for New Year’s...

I begin each sexual performance with a tympani roll. I find it steadies the ship. Less than buoyant canal-boat dweller, amateur percussionist and bon viveur (M, 57) seeks not-easily intimidated woman to 55 with no small knowledge of crank-shaft engines, blue-note fades and behaviour-correcting medicines. Box no. 12/03

Some incidents in life are blacked-out for a reason. Much as I shudder to recall an incident at Dulwich in 1968 involving a goose, a penny whistle and the local priest, so you will probably twist in the wind whenever, in years to come, you’re forced to relate a tale about how you once replied to a personal advert in a flurry of mis-placed appreciation for what you regarded at the time as a heightened and sophisticated sense of irony. Man, 40. Hates geese. And priests. And whistling. Box no. 12/05

This advert is about as close I come to meaningful interaction with other adults. Woman, 51. Not good at parties but tremendous breasts. Box no. 12/08

I have a mug that says ‘I’m the World’s Greatest Lover’. I think that’s my referees covered. How about you? Man. 37. Bishopsgate. Box no. 12/09

Belligerent from the word fuck. Sod off. Box no. 18/03

This advert may well be the Cadillac of all lonely hearts adverts, but its driver is the arthritic granddad with a catalogue of driving convictions. Arthritic granddad (67) with a catalogue of driving convictions including ‘Driving whilst trying to turn the dang wipers off’, ‘Driving whilst wondering if his urology appointment has come through’, and ‘Driving whilst “Hey! Isn’t that where your aunt Maude’s first husband lived after the divorce came through? He’s settled in Jersey now. I could never stand him – he used to do this thing with his teeth…”’ WLTM someone who knows how stop the oven timer from beeping. box no. 01/01

Don’t listen to your inner voice in matters of the heart! Especially if your inner voice tells you to check his outgoing message box for evidence of a wife or ask why he always needs to be on the last train to Stafford instead of just staying the night. It’s a simple rule, but it’s a rule that will give us many happy – if somewhat tawdry –experiences together. Man, 38. Not in the slightest bit married. Remember that. box no. 01/05

I stole the contents of this ad from a highly successful banker (M, 53, annual income £500k + benefits) currently appearing on Match.com. It’s funny because we honestly couldn’t be more different. Unless I was a woman. Or 12. Man. Older than 12 and not really a banker. box no. 01/06

To the guy with the wild grey hair and thin pony tail and bow-tie and white socks and chewed copy of Rimbaud and the lisp and excessive spittle and over-use of the word ‘platitudes’ and faint odour of taco meat who will no doubt reply to this advert much like he’s replied to every other advert I’ve ever placed in here: ‘eccentric’ is only a favourable adjective when it’s wrapped in an attractive package or earns over £200,000 a year and owns a holiday retreat in Tuscany. Other LRB-reading men should also note this. Replies from ‘normals’ or the stupidly rich only please to woman, 45, currently down to 37 seconds on her ‘tolerance of idiots’ metre. box no. 01/08

My last husband was a loser. If you’re not a loser please reply. Woman, 40. Incredibly simple criteria. box no. 01/09

[More of my LRB favorites here.]

Bad guys data

The most reassuring reassurance in the history of reassurances: FBI assistant director Thomas E. Bush III tells the BBC that innocent people have nothing to fear from the FBI’s planned new biometrics databank: “What we deal with is bad guys data”.

Marine Major Gen. Douglas Stone, who is in charge of American detention facilities in Iraq (we’ve met him before), is planning to contract out the “de-programming” of prisoners. He wants to hire “teachers, religious and behavioral science counselors” to “execute a program that effectively reintegrates [into Iraqi society] detainees, particularly those disposed to violent, radical ideology”. Gosh, how will people disposed to violent, radical ideology ever fit into Iraqi society? Or are all those positions already filled? Anyway, this reintegration will be effected by means of “enlightenment, deprogramming and de-radicalization sessions.” Does anyone else squirm a little at the thought of the US trying to “enlighten” and “deprogram” Muslims?

Romney accused McCain of “failing Reagan 101” by voting against tax cuts for the rich: “Reagan taught almost all of us in the Republican party that lowering taxes would grow the economy and was good for the economy and good for the individuals.”

What other valuable lessons might be taught in Reagan 101?

We’re too great a country for that

Bush’s radio address today was about Christmas and soldiers. Some people might find a contradiction between his remarks that “America is blessed to have men and women willing to step forward to defend our freedoms and keep us safe from our enemies” and “At this time of year, we acknowledge that love and sacrifice can transform our world”, but not George W.


Yesterday, Condi Rice said, “The United States doesn’t have permanent enemies, we’re too great a country for that.” I’m not sure what that means, possibly that we’re willing to forgive our enemies once we’ve bombed them into submission and changed their regimes. After all, love and sacrifice can transform our world – with extreme prejudice.

Headline of the Day

“Fujimori Apologizes for Death Squads.”

And Quote of the Day, Huckabee on Guantanamo: “If anything, it’s too nice.” So the Republican candidates want to double Gitmo and make it half as nice.

There will always be someone who will pick you up and carry you

John McCain, ever the sentimentalist, sent out this holiday email:

My Christmas Story

As a POW, my captors would tie my arms behind my back and then loop the rope around my neck and ankles so that my head was pulled down between my knees. I was often left like that throughout the night.

One night a guard came into my cell. He put his finger to his lips signaling for me to be quiet, and then loosened my ropes to relieve my pain. The next morning, when his shift ended, the guard returned and retightened the ropes, never saying a word to me.

A month or so later, on Christmas Day, I was standing in the dirt courtyard when I saw that same guard approach me. He walked up and stood silently next to me, not looking or smiling at me.

After a few moments had passed, he rather nonchalantly used his sandaled foot to draw a cross in the dirt. We stood wordlessly looking at the cross, remembering the true light of Christmas, even in the darkness of a Vietnamese prison camp. After a minute or two, he rubbed it out and walked away.

That guard was my Good Samaritan. I will never forget that man and I will never forget that moment. And I will never forget that, no matter where you are, no matter how difficult the circumstances, there will always be someone who will pick you up and carry you.

May you and your family have a blessed Christmas and Happy Holidays,

John McCain

You do not want to hear his Easter story.

(Update: it also comes in the form of a tv ad.)

Pity the poor photo-journalists

A man arrested on suspicion of growing cannabis was fed lunch in the holding cell, including what turned out to be a nice hash cake for dessert. The cake was evidence in another case, stored in the same refrigerator as the meals for prisoners. The surprising thing is that this occurred in the Netherlands, where one rather thought that cannabis-growing and hash cakes are entirely legal and that prisoners are routinely served hashish-based desserts. What is the world coming to?

Huckabee’s alliterative slogan is “Faith. Family. Freedom.” (in that order, presumably). Thompson’s is “The Clear Conservative Choice: Hands Down!”, the hands down bit referring once again to his refusal to do a show of hands at the debate, which they really are going to base their entire campaign around. I mean, sure, McCain spent all those years in a prison camp, but Fred Thompson stood up to the editor of the Des Moines Register.

Spare a sympathetic thought for the news photographers. Do you think AP photog Charlie Riedel wakes up in the middle of the night screaming?



Or AFP’s Paul J. Richards?