Today -100: July 30, 1911: Of popular wars, bloodless revolutions, elections, bounties, and guillotines

A “highly qualified American observer of European affairs” thinks that the Moroccan crisis shows that a war between Britain and Germany might not be unpopular in Britain.

The NYT reassures its readers that the ongoing revolution in Haiti is bloodless.

The Canadian Parliament has been dissolved, and elections will be fought in part on the reciprocity treaty with the US.

The government of Persia offers a $100,000 reward for the head of the former shah, Mohammed Ali Mirza, who is trying to recapture the throne.

The Paris guillotine (the “widow”) is moved inside La Santé Prison. In future it will no longer be ceremonially transported to the prison prior to executions on a cart drawn by a white horse (French executions were public until 1939). The guillotine had been kept in a shed outside the house of the public executioner, Anatole Deibler (who inherited the job from his father, and also married into a family of executioners, which is not at all creepy). He assembled guillotines himself, IKEA-style, from parts ordered from separate carpenters and joiners, so none of them knew what they were working on. He also put together guillotines intended for export. China just ordered one. Deibler’s “staff has a sense of humor, for a year or two ago they amused themselves by strapping their chief to ‘the widow,’ with his neck under the fatal knife, and left him there for quite a while to appreciate the sensation of one of the condemned wretches whom he has so often dispatched to the next world.”

Projecting

George Bush explains the Pet Goat thing: “I wanted to project a sense of calm. I had been in enough crises to know that the first thing a leader has to do is to project calm.” He added, “But mostly I wanted to wait until I stopped projecting pee.”

Daily Telegraphy: Kitler, gay alligators, humble days, and juggler’s hat sex acts

Headlines of the Day, from the One True Source of All News:

“Hitler Cat Fails to Find Home.” Poor Kitler.


“Judge Tells Teacher Sex Offender: ‘I don’t criticise you for being attracted to children.’” A (female) judge with a record of leniency towards sex criminals – “In 2008, she allowed former headmaster Phillip Carmichael to walk free from court after accepting that medication for Parkinson’s disease had turned him into a paedophile” – who maybe shouldn’t have been given this kiddie porn case. “Reading Crown Court was told that the teaching assistant became alarmed after noticing files on Armstrong’s laptop with names including ‘rape wife’, ‘nude model’ and ‘gay alligator’.”

Gay alligator?

“Jonnie Marbles” is convicted of pieing Rupert Murdoch. “The part-time stand-up comic emerged from court and said: ‘I would just like to say this has been the most humble day of my life.’”

“Harry Potter Dwarf Spared Jail over Juggler’s Hat Sex Act.” To clarify, he is a dwarf in real life and a goblin in Harry Potter (and an Ewok in Return of the Jedi). “It is understood that Read has recently been hiring himself out to stag parties, offering to be handcuffed to the stag while dressed as a diminutive fictional character such as a Smurf or Oompa-Loompa.”

What does the auto club have to do with this?

Obama this morning:
“we could lose our country’s AAA credit rating, not because we didn’t have the capacity to pay our bills -- we do -- but because we didn’t have a AAA political system to match our AAA credit rating.” We do have an AA political system, though, amiright? I’ll be here all week.

WE’RE DOOMED: “I’m confident that common sense and cooler heads will prevail.”

Today -100: July 29, 1911: Of Jews and ashes

Russian Prime Minister Stolypin (Putin’s hero) wants to force banks to stop extending so much credit to Jews. Because the banks are all controlled by Jews and Jews monopolize trade and Jews speculate in the grain trade and blah blah anti-Semitic blah.

Front-Page Headline of the Day -100: “SAYS HE THREW AWAY COL. WARING'S ASHES; Then Mixed Drinks in the Urn at Quarantine Orgy, Testifies Arthur Denyse.”

Today -100: July 28, 1911: Of Morocco and Germany

A NYT editorial tries to put the Moroccan crisis in perspective, or figure out what “international morality” requires, or something. It says that Germany should be supported if its purpose it to nobly preserve the territorial integrity of Morocco (like the US did with China) if “France and Spain are seeking to divide Morocco instead of performing the white man’s duty.” But the paper isn’t sure that Germany really is being noble rather than being just as land-grabby as France and Spain (which it obviously is, just not in Morocco, where it’s playing let’s-make-a-deal), like the US in Panama, “the sole blot on our record.” It warns Germany that “She is too far advanced in civilization to defy those rules of right conduct which only the barbarous exult in ignoring or infringing.” (Spoiler alert: no she isn’t.)

Today -100: July 27, 1911: Of good character, and unwanted lions

An amendment to the Georgia constitution is proposed establishing a “good character” qualification for the franchise, as determined by “respect for good womanhood.” Which seems to mean that a black man would have to have his character attested to by two white women (in person). According to the amendment’s author, Rep. J.J. Slade, “Circulars are being sent to negroes all over the State telling them to qualify for the ballot under the educational and property qualifications. I want to make it impossible for any one with a black or mulatto skin to vote in Georgia, no matter how much book learning he may possess. The protection of the white race demands that negroes be made positively and forever the political inferiors of the whites, as they are their social inferiors.” White men would also have to have white women attest to their character but, according to Slade, “Any good white man can get a good white woman to testify that she would trust him in the dark. If any white man can’t, the scoundrel should be disfranchised.” I’m pretty sure this amendment went nowhere.

A Coney Island amusement park, in a publicity stunt that could in no way have gone horribly, horribly wrong, sent a lion to Theodore Roosevelt’s office, with a letter saying “We are sending you a lioness we have no further use for.”

Today -100: July 26, 1911: Of hotels and fleets

A Chinese man (president of a D.C. YMCA branch) tries a dozen hotels in Ocean Grove, NJ, none would give him a room.

Britain cancels a planned visit by the Atlantic fleet to Norway. This is another slightly veiled threat to Germany over Morocco.

Define “excessive”

Last week, Irish Taoiseach Enda Kenny attacked the Vatican cover-up of sexual abuse by priests. So today the Vatican recalled its ambassador, expressing “surprise and disappointment at certain excessive reactions.” Well we’d certainly hate if anyone reacted excessively to decades of child-rape.

Another day, another Obama address to the nation about the debt ceiling

And it’s pretty much the same one he gave last time and the time before that. Debt bad, default bad, compromise good.

WHEN DID THEY AGREE ON THAT? “Democrats and Republicans agree on the amount of deficit reduction we need. The debate is about how it should be done.”


WHAT MOST AMERICANS DON’T UNDERSTAND: “Most Americans, regardless of political party, don’t understand how we can ask a senior citizen to pay more for her Medicare before we ask corporate jet owners and oil companies to give up tax breaks that other companies don’t get. How can we ask a student to pay more for college before we ask hedge fund managers to stop paying taxes at a lower rate than their secretaries.” How can Republicans ask that? With a song in their heart and a large campaign contribution in their pocket.

ALTHOUGH IT’S A LOT EASIER TO HAVE YOUR WAY... AH, YOU KNOW WHERE I’M GOING HERE. He quoted Jefferson: “Every man cannot have his way in all things.”

---

Then John Boehner came out, to rebut the crazy idea that he cannot have his way in all things.

He was amazed that the federal government does not work in exactly the same way as a small business in Ohio. In fact, he was amazed that it doesn’t work like “every other business in America.” Well see, that’s the source of your amazement right there: government is not actually a business.


Now he’s accusing Obama of not taking yes for an answer, just like Obama accused the Republicans last week. Could this all be just a wacky misunderstanding?

SO SAD: “The sad truth is that the president wanted a blank check six months ago, and he wants a blank check today.”

Boehner refers to “the crisis atmosphere he has created”.

AND THE PURPLER THE GOVERNMENT, THE MORE ORANGE THE PEOPLE (OR SOMETHING): “I’ve always believed that the bigger the government, the smaller the people.”

Today -100: July 25, 1911: Of lynchings and wet Texas

A negro farmer shoots four white farmers in Shreveport, LA “without cause,” and is lynched in front of the negro church.

The Texas prohibition referendum fails, 234,000 to 228,000.

Today -100: July 24, 1911: Of war widows and x-raying souls

Remember how until recently they kept discovering new “last Confederate widows,” some 100-year-old woman who’d married a 100-year-old Confederate veteran when she was a teenager? Well, in 1911 there was at least one living War of Independence widow. Born in 1800, at 19 she married one Hiram Proctor, a veteran of both the Revolution and the War of 1812. She gets a $12 a month pension because of his service in the latter war, and is cared for in a tumble-down cabin in North Carolina by her 90-year-old daughter.

There is a serious scientific dispute going on about whether the human soul can be x-rayed. An experiment is about to be conducted at the University of Pennsylvania. Dr. Duncan MacDougall of Haverhill, Mass. thinks that it can’t be done, because the skull gets in the way, except perhaps at death, when the soul substance becomes more agitated. He says it gives off a light just like that of interstellar ether. Oh, and that the soul weighs between ½ and 1¼ ounces. MacDougall has performed experiments on dying people that prove it.

The Ultra-Orthodox Jews and the Parking Lot of Doom

Not a lot of pictures of this week’s Jerusalem parking lot protest.


But there was a nice innovation: secular counter-protesters. Unconstrained by sabbatarianism, they can bring their cars and... water pistols.

Debt negotiation caption contest

Obama press conference: Can they say yes to anything?

Obama spoke to the press at 6 pm Friday.

IN OTHER WORDS: He noted that the deal he was offering cut more discretionary spending and raised less in taxes than the Gang of Six Plan. “In other words, this was an extraordinarily fair deal.” Fair in what sense? “If it was unbalanced, it was unbalanced in the direction of not enough revenue.” If it was unbalanced.

Yeah, I know, I’m not even commenting, I’m just repeating his own words in stunned disbelief. Even if – if – you accept that he has to compromise 90% of his position to get anything done, does he have to praise every deal as if it were actually good? I mean, “an extraordinarily fair deal”?

WHAT THEY’RE GOING TO HAVE TO EXPLAIN: “I told Speaker Boehner, I’ve told Democratic Leader Nancy Pelosi, I’ve told Harry Reid, and I’ve told Mitch McConnell I want them here at 11:00 a.m. tomorrow. We have run out of time. And they are going to have to explain to me how it is that we are going to avoid default.”

AS THE BISHOP SAID TO THE ACTRESS: “my expectation was that Speaker Boehner was going to be willing to go to his caucus and ask them to do the tough thing but the right thing.” On what past record was that expectation based?

THEY’RE JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU: “I’ve been left at the altar now a couple of times.”

COCAINE AND HOOKERS (PAID FOR BY LOBBYISTS): “And I think that one of the questions that the Republican Party is going to have to ask itself is can they say yes to anything?” I’d be making more creepy jokes here, but Obama is already saying that he wants Boehner to fuck him in almost as many words.

WITH THE COCAINE AND HOOKERS: “And so then the question becomes, where’s the leadership?”

THAT’S A TRICK QUESTION, RIGHT? “Or, alternatively, how serious are you actually about debt and deficit reduction? Or do you simply want it as a campaign ploy going into the next election?”

WHAT HE CANNOT BELIEVE: “I am confident simply because I cannot believe that Congress would end up being that irresponsible that they would not send a package that avoids a self-inflicted wound to the economy at a time when things are so difficult.” It’s statements like that that make George Bush look like a keen-eyed realist by comparison.

Then there’s this exchange, in which Obama explained that it is always necessary for him to give in to the Tea Partyers:

Q: Mr. President, can you explain why you were offering a deal that was more generous than the Gang of Six, which you seemed to be embracing on Tuesday when you were here?

OBAMA: Because what had become apparent was that Speaker Boehner had some difficulty in his caucus. There are a group of his caucus that actually think default would be okay and have said that they would not vote for increasing the debt ceiling under any circumstances. And so I understand how they get themselves stirred up and the sharp ideological lines that they’ve drawn. And ultimately, my responsibility is to make sure that we avoid extraordinary difficulties to American people and American businesses.

See, it’s his “responsibility” to surrender to people who will not vote to increase the debt ceiling under any circumstances.

BECAUSE NOTHING SAYS SERIOUS LIKE SLASHING BENEFITS TO THE POOR, DISABLED, SICK AND ELDERLY: “So when Norah asked or somebody else asked why was I willing to go along with a deal that wasn’t optimal from my perspective, it was because even if I didn’t think the deal was perfect, at least it would show that this place is serious”.

Considering that before I got around to reading the transcript, I was hearing how angry Obama was, all that “can they say yes to anything” talk indicates that he’s most angry that no one seems to be willing to accept his surrender.

Today -100: July 23, 1911: Of booze, statue mania, a humiliation intolerable for a great nation to endure, and reciprocity

A referendum in Texas on state-wide prohibition is running very close. The southern part of the state voted wet, the north dry. Night riders, fearing negroes would vote against prohibition, warned them against voting. And yes, “warned” includes whipping and shooting.

The city of Paris strikes a blow against “statue mania,” banning the erection of new statues for a period of ten years.

Germany has put forward various demands it wants in exchange for removing its gunboat from Moroccan waters, including a large swathe of the French Congo to be tacked onto its colony of Kameroon. British chancellor of the exchequer David Lloyd George makes a speech (the Mansion House speech, if you’re following along in a Stuff That Lead Up to World War I book) about the importance of Britain not losing its influence in the world, an influence which has been “invaluable for the cause of human liberty” and has “more than once in the past redeemed Continental nations, who are sometimes too apt to forget that service...” Stoopid redeemed Continental nations “...but if a situation were to be enforced upon us in which peace could only be preserved by the surrender of the great and beneficent position that Great Britain has won by centuries of heroism and achievement – by allowing Great Britain to be treated where her interests were vitally affected as if she were of no account in the cabinet of nations – then I say emphatically that peace at that price would be a humiliation intolerable for a great country like ours to endure.” Yup, that was pretty emphatic, all right. This is the British government publicly warning Germany that it will stand by France, a situation that may arise again in the future.

Congress passes the Canadian tariff reciprocity treaty, 53-27. Woo hoo. Now it’s up to Canada, where it’s more vital, in that the treaty would tie Canada’s economy closer to the US’s while loosening its economic dependence on the rest of the Empire.

Obama town hall: Americans chose a divided government, but they didn’t choose a dysfunctional government

This morning, Obama did a “town hall” at the township of the University of Maryland.

THE STAMP WILL, OF COURSE, BE MADE IN CHINA: “I want Congress to send me a set of trade deals that would allow our businesses to sell more products in countries in Asia and South America that are stamped with the words, ‘Made in America.’”

AMERICANS ARE JUST TOO FAT TO RUN OUT WITHOUT PAYING THE TAB: “Basically, there’s some people out there who argue we’re not going to raise the debt ceiling any more. And the problem is, effectively what that’s saying is we’re not going to pay some of our bills. Well, the United States of America does not run out without paying the tab.”

AMERICANS CHOSE WHAT NOW? “In 2010, Americans chose a divided government, but they didn’t choose a dysfunctional government.” They chose a government run by dysfunctional people – big difference.

Oh, and they didn’t “choose” a divided government.


On using the 14th Amendment to raise the debt ceiling: “I have talked to my lawyers. They do not -- they are not persuaded that that is a winning argument.” Why not? And are these the same lawyers who said you could start a war in Libya or kill people anywhere in the world on your personal authority?

He gave his new favorite example of how “this notion that somehow if you’re responsible and you compromise, that somehow you’re giving up your convictions -- that’s absolutely not true”: the Emancipation Proclamation, in which Lincoln was willing to keep slaves in the North in bondage “because he thought it was necessary in terms of advancing the goals of preserving the Union and winning the war.” Indeed, Obama has the Proclamation hanging in the Oval Office, I guess because it’s such a great example of looking like you’re doing something but not actually doing anything. “So, you know what, if Abraham Lincoln could make some compromises as part of governance, then surely we can make some compromises when it comes to handling our budget.”

So Obama is now coming out firmly in favor of compromising over slavery, because leaving some people in shackles is responsible and definitely not “somehow... giving up your convictions”. You don’t even want to know what the next “Grand Compromise” Obama offers the Republicans is going to be.

Headline of the Day

AP: “Poll: Chavez’s Cancer Not Affecting Popularity.”

No, cancer is still pretty unpopular.

Today -100: July 22, 1911: Of duels, hollow tile men, and hyenas

The “Apres Mois” affair continues in Paris, with playwright Henri Bernstein fighting two duels this week, the first with royalist journalist Gustave Tery (pistols, no one hit, although Bernstein nearly bagged a press photographer), the second with royalist editor Leon Daudet (two exchanges of shots, no one hit, then rapiers, a couple of wounds, then “The duelists left the ground without shaking hands,” although one of those wounds was on Daudet’s wrist).

Headline of the Day -100: “Mayor Ends Hopes of Hollow Tile Men.” So now they are without hope, hollow, and made of tile. So sad.

New York movie theaters will show color motion pictures of George V’s coronation.

Other entertainments available in 1911: a Minnesota – side show, I think – featured a 6-year-old boy locked in a cage with seven unfriendly hyenas. Fun for the whole family.

Today -100: July 21, 1911: Of PI/clown/fake burglars

I read this story only by chance. I was skimming the page and the word “clown” caught my eye: Frank Wacrous of Newark, a wire-drawer, stole $3,200 worth of platinum from the vault of the refining firm where he worked. He snuck it out in his underwear (not all at once)(is that 80 ounces of platinum in your underwear, or are you just happy to see me?), then picked a fight with his boss so he’d be fired before the theft was noticed. He moved to Coatesville, PA, where, naturally, he used his riches to set up a sideshow. A private detective infiltrated the sideshow by taking a job as a clown and wormed his way into Wacrous’s confidence, convincing him that he was not only a clown but also a burglar. Wacrous then brought him into a scheme to shoot the night watchmen at the refining plant and blow up the vault (presumably after robbing it, but the article doesn’t say). At this point the private dick brought in the cops and Wacrous and two accomplices were arrested.