Friday, January 14, 2005

That’s assuming that terrorists would just be sitting around and doing nothing

A piece of junk mail just arrived from the local cable company says on the envelope, “Comcast is bringing you powerful new ways to watch television.” Honestly, “powerful” and “watching television” just do not belong in the same sentence. Unless the remote comes with a button that makes actors’ heads blow up when they displease you, of course.

In response to Prince Harry’s insensitivity, his father is reportedly sending him to Auschwitz. And you thought your parents were harsh. Also, he has to apologize to the Chief Rabbi (slightly unsettling London Times headline: “Day of Atonement for Prince Harry.”)

It’s almost like a parody of Middle East politics: before Mahmoud Abbas is even sworn in, Sharon has already broken off relations with him “until he makes a real effort to stop the terror.”

Asked about a CIA report which says that Iraq is now a breeding ground for terrorists (Next up on the Discovery Channel: “The life cycle of terrorists: from breeding ground to suicide bombing”), Scott McClellan says, “That’s assuming that terrorists would just be sitting around and doing nothing if we weren’t staying on the offensive.” In other words, in the nature/nurture debate, Scottie comes down on the side of the former, arguing terrorists are not products of external events, like foreign occupation, but are just born that way.

Rwanda plans to try 1,000,000 people for genocide in village courts.

As I said two posts ago, the WaPo this morning complained about Venezuela giving “sanctuary” to a Colombian guerilla leader (Colombian warlord Uribe said today that the use of bounty hunters in another country and the bribing of Venezuelan officials is legitimate in fighting terrorism). Well, speaking of sanctuary for terrorists, today Haitian death squad leader Emmanuel “Toto” Constant was served with papers in New York, where he lives. He is being sued by 3 of the women his paramilitaries gang-raped. Also, Mark Thatcher, who was just convicted for taking part in an attempt to overthrow the government of a whole country, is moving to Dallas, the site of some of his former felonious glories.

A high school student suspended from high school in Missouri for wearing an “I’m gay and I’m proud” t-shirt has withdrawn his lawsuit, which is moot because he had to drop out after missing so many classes. That’ll show him for being gay and for being proud.

The Daily Telegraph reveals that in 1994
The Pentagon examined the possibility of developing an aphrodisiac bomb that would cause enemy troops to find one another sexually irresistible...

It also considered development of a "Who? Me?" bomb that would produce odours that suggested that other soldiers were passing wind or had serious halitosis to disrupt enemy morale. [And make it possible to identify guerillas not in uniform, the Times adds]...

It is not known if, or when, the programme was abandoned.

The Pentagon also considered chemicals that would make the enemy troops sexually attractive to "annoying or injurious animals" such as stinging and biting bugs or rodents.
While fun, it should be noted that these were just proposals from an Air Force Lab, for developing “harassing, annoying and ‘bad guy’-identifying chemicals”. What, like beer?

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