Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Petraeus & Crocker testify, Day 2: Some type of success is possible


Today Corp. Combover told the Senate that “some type of success in Iraq is possible.” Yay! Success! Well, some type of success! Is a possibility! Not a complete impossibility! Yay!


Lieberman once again helpfully suggested that his fellow congresscritters should now shut up and go into hibernation, or as he phrased it, he hoped they’d “take yes for an answer and we’d go on and look forward to [Petraeus’s] next report in the spring.”

Holy Joe also suggested that it was time to authorize military strikes inside Iran, “in pursuit of your mission in Iraq, to pursue those Iranian Quds Force operations in Iranian territory, in order to protect Americas troops in Iraq”. Petraeus said that since he commands multi-national Coalition of the Willing (COW) forces, he can’t really do that, but maybe CentCom could.


A heckler asked, “Hundreds of thousands dead, isn’t that enough for your blood thirst.” One assumes that was a rhetorical question.

John Warner asked if succeeding in the Iraq war would make the US safer. Petraeus said fuck if he knew. In fact, he made it sound like it was not an interesting enough question for him to have ever spent any time thinking about it. He’s just in it for the ass-kicking.


Speaking of which, Barbara Boxer pointed out that 28 American soldiers have died since Bush said we are kicking ass in Iraq.

Actually, a bit later, after a bathroom break, Petraeus claimed that he had now had a bit of a think and yes, the war in Iraq is deeply, deeply important to the safety of Americans after all.


Biden asked if a Sunni could safely travel to a Shiite neighborhood in Baghdad? Petraeus said it depends on the neighborhood, but failed to name any Sunni-friendly Shiite neighborhoods. Funny, he had a chart for everything else.

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