Bush meets the backbone of democracy

Today, Bush went to the National Newspaper Association conference. He called newspapers “the backbone of democracy.” Which is why he’s said in the past he never reads them. Someone asked which was the biggest threat to American security, Iran, North Korea, or China. He said Al Qaeda. He declared that Iran and North Korea were equal and he loves all the Axis of Evil countries equally.

Holden notes that Bush failed to answer questions about what American plans were in the oh-so-unlikely event of a civil war in Iraq, and what he thought of the South Dakotan anti-abortion law. I was going to say the same thing about a question asked of him during a Lebanese tv interview, “But so far, you’re not winning the hearts and minds of Arab people. Why not?” I suppose we should be thankful that he didn’t outright reject the premise that Arabs don’t love us, but after all this time, how can he not have a response, even a stupid soundbite, for such a basic question? Here was his answer: “Well, it’s -- there’s a lot of negative news on TV.” That’s all. Then he rambled on about terrorism being bad: “There’s a -- the enemy to democracy has got one tool, and that is the capacity and willingness to kill innocent people. And that shocks people.” So Arabs don’t heart Americans because they’re in shock? Still, for lack of credibility, it’s hard to beat this exchange:

Q Are you following the national dialogue that’s happening now in Lebanon?

THE PRESIDENT: I am.

I’m sorry I never spent more time on Claude Allen, failed Bush judicial nominee and then domestic policy adviser, since we now know he had to resign that position because he’d been caught ripping off department stores. But click here for my October 2003 post on him (the post also quotes Bush at a press conference refusing to answer a “trick question” about whether there would be fewer American troops in Iraq in a year. Some trick. Rumsfeld refused to answer the exact same question at the Senate Appropriations Committee yesterday, telling Dick Durbin he wouldn’t use Durbin’s term, “significant reduction,” because then there’d just be a debate on the meaning of the word significant, and he’d really prefer to use words that don’t actually have any meaning, like he always does).

Finally, a working link (reg./BugMeNot) to the letter to the Lancet against forcible feeding in Guantanamo, which notes that health-care workers opposed to the forcible feeding of prisoners are not allowed to work in Gitmo. The Pentagon’s response to the letter’s mention of the World Medical Association’s 1975
ban on forcibly feeding sane patients: “Professional organisation declarations by doctors, lawyers, dentists, etc. are not international treaties, therefore are nonbinding and not applicable to sovereign nation-states.” In your face, World Medical Association!

Say, do you think we could stop force-feeding in Gitmo as violating the First Amendment rights of Pentagon medical personnel? Someone call the ACLU. OK, I like the ACLU and despise the death penalty, but this (from AP) is just silly:

The American Civil Liberties Union claimed in a federal lawsuit Wednesday that California’s lethal injection protocol violates the First Amendment rights of execution witnesses by not allowing them to see if the inmate is experiencing pain before death.

Yes, I get the point: the paralyzing agent is intended to make executions look painless when they aren’t. But c’mon.

To the extent one were to occur

The Senate agrees not to take unreported free meals from lobbyists. Trent Lott is furious: “It’s totally ludicrous that we are doing this. I’ll be eating with my wife and so will a lot more senators after we pass this one.” Somehow I don’t think Mrs. Lott is too thrilled about it either.
(Update: wait, did Lott mean that a lot more senators will be eating with his wife or with their own wives?)

Rumsfeld unveiled his secret plan for Iraq: “The plan is to prevent a civil war and, to the extent one were to occur, to have the Iraqi security forces deal with it, to the extent they are able to.” For a start, it’s just good business sense. Rummy says American soldiers cost $90,000 a year to maintain abroad, while Afghan soldiers cost $11,000, Iraqis $40,000. The real problem, though, is that the enemy refuses to play fair: “These enemies cannot win a single conventional battle, so they challenge us through nontraditional asymmetric means with terror as their weapon of choice.” Right, they’re not fighting conventional warfare, and they’re also not using cavalry, they’re not marching in formation, they’re not carrying muskets. I know he had the Pentagon buy all those little plastic soldiers and was really looking forward to pushing them around a table while making “kapow” noises...

From the Indy, another in our series, Newspaper Headlines So Good That The Story is Bound to be Disappointing: “Mexico Enlists Sex Dolls in Battle Against Harassment.”

We ought to say, hallelujah and thanks, at the federal level

Bush has been hanging around today with what he insists on calling the “faith community.” He wants to ensure that “the White House effectively reaches out to people to assure them that if they participate in the faith-based initiative they won’t have to lose their faith. It’s hard to be a faith-based program if you can’t practice your faith, no matter what your faith may be.” “And for those of you who are finding those who have heard the call to help interface with those in need, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.” Interfacing with those in need; kinky.

Bush says there’s been a “quiet transformation, a revolution of conscience, in which a rising generation is finding that a life of personal responsibility is a life of fulfillment.” This is of course code for religion. He wants to encourage corporations to contribute to religious charities, saying “we all ought to focus on results, not process.” Wow, that’s a message that’s the precise opposite of the message of every single religion. Really, try that line on your minister, rabbi, or guru. He adds, “If you’re addicted to alcohol, if a faith program is able to get you off alcohol, we ought to say, hallelujah and thanks, at the federal level.” Later, he talked about Teen Challenge, which treats drug-addicted teenagers, and which now gets federal grants. Federal funding of programs that work with adults is bad enough, but minors, and especially vulnerable ones at that?

If you’re wondering about numbers, these are the ones he gives: “The federal government awarded more than $2.1 billion in competitive social service grants to faith-based organizations last year. That’s an increase of 7 percent over the previous year, and that is 11 percent of all federal competitive social service grants.”

By the way, some good responses to yesterday’s contest about what Homeland Security’s new Center for Faith-Based and Community Initiatives will do. And I want to suggest a motto: “Too Busy Preparing for the Rapture to Prepare for the Next Hurricane.” (I also tried to come up with something along the lines of Putting the Father Back Into Fatherland, but it didn’t quite gel.)

No greater challenge

Iraq has held its first executions since it was, ahem, liberated. 13 alleged insurgents (only one of whose names was made public) were hanged. Let freedom ring wring the necks of some Sunnis.

Condi sez, “We may face no greater challenge from a single country than from Iran”. And you know she does not like to be challenged. Condi, who in some circles is being spun as more realist, more pragmatic than others in the Bush administration we could name, has in fact been making statements that read to me as increasingly messianic and arrogant, and which amount to informing lesser nations that they are mere bit players in a story that’s all about the United States of America, that they have no right to foreign policies of their own. Which might sound not too bad when applied to the shitheads currently running Iran, but every nation on earth is treated like that now. Tony Blair, whose obsequious loyalty would make Lassie blush, can’t get the US to extradite sex offenders. Some bloggers, including myself, objected to Bush going to India and tearing up the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty (although I don’t see this as worse than the continuing coddling of Pakistan, an actual known proliferater, which still refuses to provide information of its activities and is allowed the ludicrous pretense that it was all unauthorized activity by A.Q. Khan, whose “punishment” did not include taking from him all the money he earned selling nuclear technology hither and yon). But the point of the exercise wasn’t to undermine the treaty but to replace it with a higher power, namely ours: the point was that the United States claimed to have the right and the authority to grant or deny permission to a country to have nuclear weapons.

The Columbia Journalism Review Daily discovers that South Dakota’s largest newspaper, the Sioux Falls Argus Leader, has decided not to have any editorial about the new abortion law because “nothing we could say on our editorial page would change anyone’s mind -- and it could well jeopardize the credibility we have worked long and hard to establish.” Cowards. Craven, sniveling cowards.

Pick up, move on, rebuild

Bush went to New Orleans today, where he said that “I think people would be impressed by the desire of the people in this part of the country to pick up and move on and rebuild.” Well, which is it, move on or rebuild?

But Bush didn’t just go to talk. He went to stand around with his arms crossed, trying to look deeply involved, or at least not dyspeptic.




The Reuters caption to a picture similar to the next one reads, “George W. Bush climbs to the top of a ladder as he briefly assists in the construction of a new home”.


Here, Bush stands next to a metaphor for his response to Katrina pile of debris.


Which is more dangerous, Cheney with a hunting rifle or Bush with a hammer?

Wait, you’re saying that the US is susceptible to harm and pain? That hardly seems fair.

So let me get this straight. The US has been threatening Iran with everything from sanctions to military action to, just yesterday, the vague but sinister “meaningful consequences,” but when an Iranian official with the delightful name Javad Vaeedi responds that “The United States may have the power to cause harm and pain but it is also susceptible to harm and pain,” Little Scottie McClellan smugly scolds that “Provocative statements and actions only further isolate Iran from the rest of the world.” Sometimes the total lack of self-awareness takes your breath away. Next thing you know, McClellan will accuse Iran of repeating the same stupid talking points over and over and of having no neck.

A British MP plans to enter into a gay marriage. Ben Bradshaw is the minister for animal welfare (which includes a lot of work on bird flu). There’s probably a bad joke in there, which I will leave to others.

For whatever it’s worth, under Britain’s new civil partnership legislation, twice as many gay men as lesbians have registered.

When the guy in charge of the Baghdad morgue fled the country a few days ago, we pretty much knew it was because he was being threatened to stop reporting murders by Shiite death squads. The WaPo now runs a story about orders not to count those deaths, but to continue to report on deaths caused by terrorist bombs. And just yesterday Rummy complained about media “exaggerations” all being on one side. The Post also details the run-around Iraqi officials gave them about those numbers, and how the morgue suddenly has the security of an Iranian nuclear facility.

So is it a civil war yet? Number of casualties is one important indicator. Another is the number of Iraqi men under arms in militias, death squads, and whatever else they’ve got. I really have no idea, and with the loyalties of many of those in government police or military or Interior Ministry uniforms being unclear, divided, or protean, anything close to a precise number is impossible to achieve. I’d be happy with a general sense of whether the number is increasing over time.

Praying for homeland security

Silvio Berlusconi, man of the (really really rich) people, says that the increasing debt Italian families are falling into is a sign of confidence in the future, because they believe they’ll be able to pay off those huge debts. And asked what the government would do to help the poor, he suggested they “Try to earn more by getting on with things.”

My last post mentioned Rumsfeld’s latest press criticism. The headline on the Pentagon website story about this: “Press Exaggerations Test American Will.”

I’m told that when Tony Blair appeared on Michael Parkinson’s talk show and started blaming God for his decision to help invade Iraq, Kevin Spacey, another guest, moved his chair away from Blair. Did any of my British readers see this? In today’s Prime Minister’s Questions, Peter Tapsell asked Saint Tony, “will he tell us which archangel is now persuading him into southern Afghanistan?” And how many angels can dance on the head of a quagmire.

The Department of Homeland Security has been ordered to establish within itself a Center for Faith-Based and Community Initiatives, presumably to harness the awesome power of Jesusy prayer to protect America from hurricanes, terrorists, and godless homosexuals. CONTEST: what else will the Center for Faith-Based and Community Initiatives do?

Rumsfeld: I’m not knowledgeable today

At a Pentagon news conference today, Rumsfeld gave one of his typically wacky slash befuddled performances, which I don’t think too many people still mistake for folksy, suggesting that it’s Not a Coincidence that the cases of what he sees as exaggeration by the media about Iraq all “seem to be on one side... all seem to be of a nature to inflame the situation and to give heart to the terrorists and to discourage those who hope for success in Iraq”. Not that he’s, you know, accusing anybody, bu-hut, “we do know, of course, that al Qaeda has media committees. We do know that they teach people exactly how to try to manipulate the media. ... Now, I can’t take a string and tie it to a news report and then trace it back to an al Qaeda media committee meeting...”

Things that can be traced, well, as usual he just hasn’t read them, like Amb. Khalilzad’s interview in the LAT saying that Iraq could go to civil war: “He’s an expert, and he said what he said. I happen to not have read it”. Asked what “meaningful consequences” Cheney was threatening Iran with: “I have not read the full text of that.” Asked if he knew about the intel German intelligence is supposed to have given the US, which was purportedly used in planning the invasion: “I’m not aware. I wasn’t aware then. I’m not knowledgeable today.” He said it, not me.

Asked whether the delay in forming a government contributes to the danger of civil war, he gave his own lessons in how to present facts and draw conclusions from them: “I don’t know, but I don’t think so. I mean, I can’t give evidence as to why I say I don’t think so.”

Speaking of shit he said that he couldn’t give evidence for (not that the Pentagon reporters asked for any, because Pentagon reporters suck at their jobs, or have simply given up), he made the new claim that Iran is not just supporting insurgents in Iraq, but inserting its Revolutionary Guards into the country “to do things that are harmful to the future of Iraq.” Asked whether he was accusing the government of this: “The Revolutionary Guard doesn’t go milling around willy-nilly, one would think.” Yeah, they’re more the helter-skelter kind of millers-around than willy-nilly guys. Sometimes they’re harum-scarum, but usually only on pay day.

A reporter asked the question I’ve called for, what a civil war would look like. Rummy:

Why don’t you ask the other question: what would it look like if there’s not chaos and civil war? And that’s kind of -- kind of what people have been describing. If you have on the one hand the Iraqi security forces succeeding, that’s good. The back side of that would be they wouldn’t be. They would disappear, or they would fall apart, or they would engage in sectarian violence themselves, or they’d refuse to obey, or something like that. ... the political leaders and the government figures [would] do exactly the opposite of what they’re doing, and that is to stand up and say, “By golly, we’re not going to take this. They bombed one of our mosques; let’s go bomb their mosque.” And they said just the opposite.

What’s the Arabic for “by golly”?

Marching in the Oval Office

Saletan explains some of the ambiguities I wondered about in the SD anti-abortion law, which basically allow the use of morning-after pills to destroy what the bill calls “a living unborn human being” after conception, so long as the woman doesn’t know to a scientific certainty that she is definitely pregnant. Saletan says, “Welcome to world of ambiguity, pro-lifers.” Oh, nonsense. As long as pro-lifers were willing to prosecute doctors and not their patients, that ambiguity was always there.

Also, the law itself says that scientific advances since Roe show that “life begins at conception.” Whatever that’s supposed to mean, it’s obviously based on deep, willful ignorance, but does anyone know what it is supposed to mean?

There was a story about Bush’s visit to India that was supposed to be in the Times of India, but I couldn’t find it. Harper’s has it: those sniffer dogs that spiritually fouled up the Gandhi memorial. There were 65 dogs on the detail, and they were put up in the expensive hotel the White House took over completely. Staff were told to address the dogs as sergeant or major. Sir, arf, sir!

Bush celebrated International Women’s Day the same way he spends every other day: fantasizing about Condi. “The struggle for women’s right is a story of strong women willing to take the lead.” I’ll bet. “My administration is better off to have really capable women who feel comfortable marching in the Oval Office and giving the President their frank advice.” So there’s marching involved. Kinky. He says of Jenna and Not-Jenna, “And we are raising two young women to become independent, capable risk-takers -- (laughter)”. I guess alcohol poisoning is a risk, and it’s one they take boldly. He refers to some of the people present as “ambassadresses.” He then delved into history, informing us that, “We weren’t always an equal society in America”. As opposed to now, presumably. About sexual trafficking, he says “It breaks our hearts, our collective hearts, to realize many young girls are sold into sex slavery and we will use our prestige to stop that evil process.” That’s assuming Bush has more “prestige” in the world than Gary Glitter.

Alberto Gonzales, in Britain says that, at least according to the military’s investigation of the military (and who is better qualified to investigate the military than the military, I ask you?) there have only been five cases of torture in Guantanamo. So that’s ok then. He also muddied the definition of torture even further, saying, after refusing to pronounce on whether water boarding and other techniques fell under his definition of torture, “If we went around this room, people would have different definitions of what constitutes torture, depending on the circumstances.” Depending on the circumstances? Evidently the meaning of the word torture is situational. As for extraordinary rendition, “We do not render individuals where we believe it’s more likely than not that they will be tortured.” Count the number of weasel words in that sentence.

Slipping spending provisions into large bills. Is it me, or does that just sound dirty?

Funerals on webcam. Of course.

Chickens laying eggs on webcam. Of course.

South Dakota Governor Mike Rounds signs the egregious anti-abortion law, saying that “abortion is wrong because unborn children are the most vulnerable and most helpless persons in our society.” Although if he has his way, knocked-up rape victims in South Dakota will be just that little bit more vulnerable and helpless. The legislature is also setting up a legal defense fund, in which private citizens can pay for lawyers to defend this unconstitutional law. I don’t know if that’s ever happened before, but it’s a terrible idea, corrosive of democracy. Wonder if it’s tax-deductible?

Bush proposes to enact a line-item veto by legislation rather than constitutional amendment, which is just as much an unconstitutional violation of separation of powers as it was in 1996. Sez Shrub, “Congress can slip spending provisions into large bills where they never debated and never get discussed.” And if there’s anyone who can focus on details, ask the difficult questions, and resist special interests, it’s... Dubya.

I wouldn’t put a great big smiley face on it

Headline of the day, AP: “Priests Purify Shrine after Bush Visit.” Actually not because of Bush – they’re used to temple monkeys in India – but those explosive-sniffing dogs (I ran a photo of one a couple of days ago).

I just noticed something in those pictures of Bush playing cricket (actually in the closer picture Watertiger has) (Update: and her commenters noticed it as well): that’s not a cricket ball, it’s a tennis ball. Cuz poor baby might have hurt himself.

The alliterative Peter Pace, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs, went on tv today as part of the Bush administration’s efforts to stave off “civil war” in Iraq. I used quotation marks there because the Bushies haven’t a clue how to stop actual civil war and so have focused all their might and main on trying to stop people using the words “civil war.” Hell, says Pace, only 30 or so mosques were attacked, and everyone in Iraq wants to have calm (he used the word calm four times).

Pace says, “I wouldn’t put a great big smiley face on it, but I would say they’re going very, very well”. That second “very” seems to imply at least a medium-to-large sized smiley face, and possibly a medium-to-large sized dose of Zoloft as well.

To Pace, of course, “the terrorists are becoming more desperate”. This marks approximately the 983rd time they have been described as having become more desperate, while at the same time they’ve never been described as becoming less desperate, so their desperation level must be pretty darned high by now. Maybe Pace could share some of his Zoloft with them. Pace also claimed that many joined for economic reasons: “If you have an opportunity to get a job and feed your family, you’re much less likely to accept $100 to go plant a bomb on the side of the road.” Wouldn’t it be funny if the militias did pay in round sums in American currency?

Russert asked him if he’s concerned that Jaafari likes Noam Chomsky. Pace says, “I hope he has more than one book on his nightstand” and recommends that nice Tom Clancy, and maybe a Harry Potter book. Chomsky, of course, has been invited to appear on all the talk shows since that information came out. Ha ha, just kidding! The baby Jesus could appear in Rome and recommend the Chomsky Reader and he still wouldn’t get any air time.

Asked whether there were initially enough troops deployed in Iraq, Pace says, “it was then and is now a balancing act between having enough troops to get the job done and too many troops to be oppressive and creating more problems than resolving.” Ah, so they didn’t want their invasion and occupation to be oppressive. All makes sense now.

Russert read him William F. Buckley’s criticism of the war, and Pace responded, “Mr. Buckley would probably do well to take a trip over to Iraq and walk the streets and talk to Iraqis”. He admitted that Buckley would have to have armed guards in order to do so.

Pace blamed the declining American support for the war on, what else, the media: “What they’re seeing is the same bomb going off every 15 minutes on television”. Funny, I thought it was Law & Order reruns that appeared every 15 minutes.

Asked about the rise in violence in Afghanistan in the last year, Pace said it was a sign of... wait for it... desperation.

Vote -- or the terrorists win

Is this blog most deserving of wider recognition? Then vote for it in the Koufax Awards in that category. Does the very idea that this blog might be deserving of wider recognition make you laugh? Then vote for it in the humor category.

The US military policy in Iraq, as many of us predicted, will involve decreased exposure of American troops to danger and a lot more aerial bombardment. The AP reports that 4 AC-130 gunships are being sent to Iraq.

Echidne of the Snakes has the transcript of that asshole South Dakota state legislator who appeared on McNeil-Lehrer yesterday saying that the ban on abortions even in cases of rape wouldn’t be applied against good Christian girls saving themselves for marriage. So that’s ok then.

Zeynap notes that the US refused entry visas to two Iraqi women whose husbands and children (three each) had been killed by American troops, and who had been planning a speaking tour, on the ostensible grounds that they didn’t have enough connections to Iraq, like say husbands and children, to ensure that they would return home.

That reminds me of my favorite Catch-22: during World War II, the US didn’t just intern people of Japanese ancestry residing in America, it pressured South American countries to hand their Japanese populations over to us as well. When Congress apologized and voted compensation to the internees decades later, they excluded those from South America because they were... wait for it... illegal aliens.

And here’s a bonus picture of Bush playing cricket.

Fooled by a googly

A few things to get through before we get to what you really want to see: pictures of Bush playing cricket.

Interesting AP report on the increasing number of secret federal court cases, with sealed records, up from 1.1% in 2003 to 2.7% in 2005.

The NYT had a story a day or two ago about the federal government not bothering to collect fines against coal companies. The Bushies have simply abandoned any pretense of enforcing laws against corporations putting people at risk. And today, the NYT reports that they’re not making drug companies do the required tests for side effects or effectiveness (to be fair, it sounds like this pre-dates the Bushies). The companies promise to do them in order to get approval, and in 2/3 of the cases don’t bother. The FDA’s director of the Office of New Drugs says that only 5% of those studies are considered delayed – because no one ever set a timeline.

Generalissimo Musharraf brought up the whole Danish cartoon thing with Bush, and says, “May I say that the President did show concern.” Which I guess means Bush put on his concerned-chimp expression. Although the joint statement says, “The two leaders agreed that acts that disturb inter-faith harmony should be avoided.” The rest of the statement offers such enlightening initiatives as “President Bush and President Musharraf are launching a Strategic Dialogue under the Strategic Partnership.”

On Kashmir, Bush once again ignored the interest that actual Kashmiris might have in having a voice in their future: “The best way for Kashmir to be resolved is for leaders of both countries to step up and lead.” Of course this is Bush, who talks about democracy but whose definition of the term at home and abroad is “elective dictatorship,” and whose idea of foreign relations involves deals between two countries’ elective dictators. Thus, Bush seems not to have protested or even mentioned the people placed under house arrest or the anti-Bush protesters shot dead in Pakistan. He did say that he and the general “share a strong commitment to democracy.” Sure they do.

Here Bush asks Musharraf for a hug.


Then Bush asks Musharraf for, um, uh....


Then he asks Musharraf where he can get one of them hats.


He met a kid crippled in the earthquake.

You didn’t get like that quail-hunting with Cheney, did you?
And finally, to cricket. In the last shot, a bowler hits Bush in the shoulder, or, as Bush later put it, “I was fooled by a googly.” Fool me once...

Is the violence out of control? Clearly not.

The Pentagon Central Command has a Chief of Engagement Operations to “do electronic media engagement” with, well, bloggers. If a blog is run by “supporters,” they ask it to put up a link to CENTCOM, but if it’s run by “determined detractors,” they might extend a “friendly invitation... to visit the command’s Web site.” There they will be forced to read stories which are “positive” but also “very factual” – not just factual, but very factual – until they crack and promise to blog that there is no civil war in Iraq and that we are beating the terrorists. “Media engagement” is a little like real engagement, which is symbolized by a diamond ring because “a diamond is forever,” just like detention in Guantanamo Bay. I have not been contacted by the “team,” nor do they say which blogs they have contacted, but they say that they did post a comment on some unnamed blog that wrote about American forces using Iraqis as human shields, saying no they didn’t. Does anyone know what blog this is, have a link for the post?

Gen. George Casey says that only (only!) 350 Iraqis were killed in the recent sectarian violence, which is of course not true, and that anyway that’s pretty much normal, that the Samarra de-domeification didn’t actually increase the level of violence in Iraq. Casey, who has clearly been spending too much time around Rumsfeld, then began answering his own questions: “So has there been violence and terrorism here in Iraq in the wake of the Samarra bombings? Clearly. Is the violence out of control? Clearly not.” Ah, so 350 dead, that you’re admitting, but it was actually under control. Okay. Um... whose control? Casey also said that bribing Iraqi newspapers to print puff pieces is “within our authorities and responsibilities,” so they’ll keep doing it. Oh sure, the Iraqis get cash, me, all I’d get is a friendly invitation to visit the CENTCOM website. Hardly seems fair.

Echidne of the Snakes notes that on the CNN website, Bush’s comment today referring to Pakistan as part of the “Arabic world” has been altered to “the [Muslim] world.” Let me demonstrate to CNN how you deal with mis-statements: the Cable News [sic] Network.

Bush has increasingly identified The Enemy in his rhetoric as something called “radical Islam.” He used the term in the State of the Union address, and said today that he would talk with Musharraf about “reduc[ing] the appeal of radical Islam.” Unlike “terrorists” or “evildoers,” this term focuses on the ideology underlying the actions, while trying to avoid the ramifications of Bush’s early use of the word crusade by separating the good Muslims from the bad Muslims. The positive thing about that is that it doesn’t tar all Muslims as potential terrorists, the negative thing is that it makes Bush the arbiter of what is or is not a proper part of a faith he considers to be fundamentally mistaken, which is as silly as if he condemned “radical Scientologists” for deviating from the sacred words of L. Ron Hubbard.

Which leads us to Tony Blair, who says that he prayed over his decision to join the war against Iraq. So I guess it is a holy war, a Christian crusade, if you like, after all. Here’s his, to me, semi-coherent statement:

In the end, there is a judgement that, I think if you have faith about these things, you realise that judgement is made by other people... and if you believe in God, it’s made by God as well.

Adam Jones, who pointed this out in comments, says, “Nice to know He’s willing to be flexible over that whole First Commandment thing, isn’t it?” So Blair deployed not only a dodgy dossier, but a dodgy Decalogue.

Secretary of War Rumsfeld, who like Tony Blair’s God is all-knowing, says “We know that torture is not occurring [at Guantanamo]. We know that for a fact.” And as usual he brings a little perspective to Iraq:

You know, we look at the violence that’s taking place there, and compare it to the United States or to Europe or something, kind of ignoring the fact that there are thousands and thousands and thousands of people killed in the United States of America every year in homicides.

So that’s ok then. And of course the prisoners have all been trained to claim that they were tortured, so it’s all just acting. Method acting. “The reality is that the terrorists have media committees.” Yes, I think they call them electronic media engagement teams.

We are not killing them faster than they are being created

At his show trial, Saddam Hussein copped to having ordered the execution of the several hundred people who conspired to assassinate him, saying that’s how you respond to that sort of thing. For example, he didn’t go on to say but should have, the US invaded an entire country to get “the guy that tried to kill my dad.” (Update: Jeanne D’Arc suggests Hussein has been cribbing from John Yoo.)

Here’s what Bush wrote in the visitors’ book at the Gandhi memorial: “I am grateful to have the opportunity to honour Mahatma Gandhi at this sacred site. His life was an inspiration to people and the world and his contribution to all mankind place him among the great leaders of history.” “People and the world”? You’ll notice there’s nothing that couldn’t have been said about a million other people, nothing specific to Gandhi, some message that he personally might have taken to heart.

And on the same day he went to “honor” Gandhi, his lawyers were making the case that torture is legal, or if it’s illegal, that law isn’t enforceable by a court of law.

Today he went to an agricultural college to do his favorite thing, clearing brush, using primitive peasant tools.








And to have a water buffalo perform the task usually allotted to Condi or Joe Lieberman.


The Reuters caption to this picture: “Indians throw stones during a protest in the northern Indian city of Lucknow March 3, 2006.”


Brig. Gen. Robert Caslen, who evidently has the title Deputy Director for the War on Terrorism, says of terrorists, “We are not killing them faster than they are being created.” No kidding, but you have to love the choice of the word “created.”

A proud civilization. Plus, they got mangos. And they all talk like Apu.

Maybe the problem with all those “nobody could have anticipated” things isn’t that the Bushies are ignoring data, or lying, but that they simply don’t understand the nature of the space-time continuum.

Durst gives the “unclear on all the words in their name award” to the Federal Emergency Management Administration.

Bush calls India “a proud civilization. Thousands of years ago the people of this region built great cities, established trading routes with distant lands, and created wonders of art and architecture,” adding, “but in Waco, we got us an Arby’s.”

A cowboy meets some Indians

Bush brings a message of hope to India: “the US is looking forward to eating Indian mangos.”

Sadly, no one threw an Indian mango at him. Gandhi might not have approved, but boy would it have been satisfying.

Bush visited the Gandhi memorial, after his security detail went in with bomb-sniffing dogs to see if the eternal flame was rigged to blow. The memorial was ringed with commandos.


Bush brought Gandhi a big bunch of flowers, and some coffee cake, but was told that Gandhi was, uh, dead.




Don’t know if you can tell, but the security guy above and Bush are in their socks.

So the biggest imperialist of our age went to “honor” the greatest anti-imperialist of his age. A man who oversees the force-feeding of hunger-striking prisoners went to show his “respects” to the political prisoner the British never dared forcibly feed. “Bring it on” meets satyagraha.

Well, you know, if you feel like it, you ought to share it with the American people

Good lord, someone followed my advice. Is that even legal? Sen. John Warner asked John Negroponte what the benchmarks for civil war in Iraq would be. Negroponte said: “a complete loss of central government security control, the disintegration or deterioration of the security forces of the country,” and “unauthorized forces . . . getting the upper hand in the situation.” Of course all of those are highly subjective judgments, so it’s really not all that helpful.

A couple of bits of yesterday’s ABC interview with Bush I missed, because of the truly sucky ABC website:

VARGAS: I wanted to ask you very quickly how the vice president’s doing. A lot of people thought he looked a little shaken when he appeared in public after the hunting accident.

BUSH: Yeah.

VARGAS: Is he doing okay, now?

BUSH: He is. Yeah. He was shaken. ... He’s a strong fellow. He’s a steady person, but no question that he was affected by it. He came in the Oval, here, just he and I. I said, "Dick, this got you, didn’t it?" And he said, "It sure did." I said, "Well, you know, if you feel like it, you ought to share it with the American people." And he did, he did a good job of talking about the, the pain he felt.

And:

VARGAS: Your desk is so clean Mr. President.

BUSH: Yeah, well, you know that is what happens when you have desk cleaners everywhere.

And your ass is so clean, Mr. President....

Meanwhile, Saddam Hussein and his fellow defendants take a day off from their trial and ride a roller coaster. Wheee!

U R Not Welcome

Indian protesters all seemed to have signs saying “Bush Go Back” instead of the more traditional “Yankee Go Home.” Since he had added a “surprise” visit to Afghanistan to his itinerary, this meant that Indians wanted him to return to Afghanistan.

And here’s a protest sign in Bangalore written in text-message-eze. Tom Friedman would be so proud.


Bush in Afghanistan: “One of the messages I want to say to the people of Afghanistan is it’s our country’s pleasure and honor to be involved with the future of this country.” We invaded and occupied Afghanistan, but it was our pleasure and honor to do so.

As Mr. Karzai is asking how he might honor and pleasure Mr. Bush, Bush is thinking “Where can I get me one of those hats?”
Something about being in Afghanistan for the first time made him use an old favorite word of his, “evildoers.” Sorta takes you back, huh? He used it for Al Qaeda, “people who have hijacked a great religion and kill innocent people in the name of that religion.” Can you actually hijack a religion? Indeed, isn’t it an insult to that religion to suggest that you could? But then, Bush thinks democracy can be imposed on one country by another country through military force, and that an occupied country can be “free.”


When a reporter from Afghan tv asks a question about “if” Osama bin Laden and Mullah Omar are captured, Bush insists “It’s not a matter of if they’re captured or brought to justice, it’s when they’re brought to justice.” After 4½ years, I think we can all agree that it is actually a matter of if. Also, one presumes that the point of capturing them would be to put them on trial, so that “or” in “captured or brought to justice” is rather revealing, showing that, for him, justice would mean their being killed; their being merely captured and tried would not.

No more questions about why we haven’t caught bin Laden.
Then he went to cut the ribbon on a new American embassy. Which is more dangerous to bystanders, Dick Cheney with a hunting rifle or George Bush with a large pair of scissors?


He says that when he meets Afghans, “they always ask me -- they ask me with their words and they ask me with their stares, as they look in my eyes” [George may not be too good with the English language, but he speaks fluent stare.] “-- is the United States firmly committed to the future of Afghanistan? ... It’s in the interests of the United States of America for there to be examples around the world of what is possible, that it’s possible to replace tyrants with a free society”. Yeah, not actually interested in Afghanistan for its own sake, couldn’t find it on a map, only just now bothering to visit, but it’s an example, it’s like the animatronic presidents in Disneyland. Speaking of symbols: “And so my message to the people of Afghanistan is, take a look at this building. It’s a big, solid, permanent structure, which should represent the commitment of the United States of America to your liberty.” Right, because if we’d constructed the embassy out of old newspapers and egg cartons, it would have been a dead giveaway.

Fallout

So 1/3 of military personnel returning from Iraq have sought help for mental-health issues. Hard to know what that surprising figure actually means. It could be an artifact of the way the questionnaire was designed (key unanswered question: was the questionnaire anonymous?). It could means that they’re dealing with it early instead of letting it fester, which would be a good thing (assuming the government actually gives them help). The WaPo article, which is not well-researched, talks about debates over whether some of this is mental illness (post-traumatic stress disorder) or just plain vanilla trauma, without saying how that affects whether they are helped. One thing we’ll need to look at in future years is how vets of this war die. The number of suicides among Vietnam veterans surpassed the number of combat deaths sometime in the late 1970s, but they also tended to die in large numbers in single-car crashes, many of which were suicides but not counted as such.

The brink

Good Slate article on how Bush made a deal over nuclear plants with India which he has no right to make.

I suggested, in a discussion in the comments section on a previous post, that all those Bushies saying there was no civil war in Iraq should be made to give a working definition of the term. Fat chance, of course. This weeks’s spin was set out by Ambassador Khalilzad, who says that Iraq “came to the brink of civil war,” but the “crisis is over” and “the Iraqis decided to come together”. And over the weekend National Security Adviser Stephen Hadley said something to the effect that the Iraqis had looked into the abyss and decided they didn’t want one, thanks anyway, really we were just window shopping, but in the end decided that civil war doesn’t really go with our carpets.

I think the U.S. is better prepared than woefully unprepared

In an ABC interview, Bush, asked about Congress’s report that the US is “woefully unprepared” for another Katrina or a terrorist attack, says, “I think the U.S. is better prepared than woefully unprepared.” That’s our George, always sees the woe as half full.

And this would be, simultaneously, 1) funny if it weren’t so sad, 2) sad if it weren’t so funny:

VARGAS: When you look back on those days immediately following when Katrina struck, what moment do you think was the moment that you realized that the government was failing, especially the people of New Orleans?

BUSH: When I saw TV reporters interviewing people who were screaming for help.

Yesterday, Stephen Colbert answered Fox’s question about whether civil war in Iraq would be a Good Thing: “If Iraq has a real civil war, then the U.S. can’t be involved. It’s called an ‘Exit Strategy’, folks.” Today, Bush kinda said the same thing to ABC:

VARGAS: But what is the plan if the sectarian violence continues? I mean, do the U.S. troops take a larger role? Do they step in more actively to stop the violence?

BUSH: No. The troops are chasing down terrorists.

Well, the same thing except for the exiting part:

VARGAS: So let me make sure I understand you. No matter what happens with the level of sectarian violence, the U.S. troops will stay there?

BUSH: The U.S. troops will stay there so long as -- until the Iraqis can defend themselves. I mean, my policy has not changed.

Heaven forfend.

The leaders of Iraq rejected this notion that a suicider and a thug and a terrorist can create civil war

The latest rumor in Britain’s Muslim community is of a woman who kicked a Koran and was turned into a mermaid. It’s all over the message boards of the Islamic Broadcasting Network, so it must be true.

Bush met with Republican governors yesterday, and wasted their time with a very stale stump speech. And while I haven’t seen video, but I’m guessing they were as obsequious as every other audience they allow him to go before (a proposed address to the Indian parliament was cancelled for just this reason), judging by this: “Thanks for the warm welcome. Be seated -- unless you don’t have a seat. (Laughter.)” Hilarious! And the governor of Georgia received the highest of honors, a brand-new nickname: “I want to thank Sonny. I call him ‘Big Buddy Perdue.’ (Laughter.) He is a big buddy.”


He insists that civil war is quite out of the question in Iraq: “The leaders of Iraq rejected this notion that a suicider and a thug and a terrorist can create civil war.” I can’t tell if those are three different people, or one guy with three jobs. These leaders, whoever they might be, are “interested in a unified government that will allow the people to express their will, a unified government that will give young mothers and fathers the hope that their children can grow up in a peaceful society.” A bitter, desperate, forlorn hope, indeed one might say a hopeless hope, to be sure...

Lately, whenever he talks about education, he talks as if math and science were the only “real” subjects, like so: “when we ground our students in the skills necessary to be good engineers and good physicists and good chemists and good scientists, the United States of America will continue to be the preeminent economy in the world in the 21st century.”

And today, he met with Silvio Berlusconi, who is oily, smarmy, corrupt, arrogant and megalomaniacal. Bush called him optimistic, a strong leader, a man of his word, and a man who “has brought stability to the Italian government. Obviously, it’s important for an American President to be able to work with somebody in a consistent manner”. In other words, George really hates it when he has to memorize new names. (Oh, Christ on a stick: I wrote that before getting to the end of the transcript, where Shrub actually says: “Because if a government is changing every year, it requires a person in my position to constantly have to reacquaint yourself.”)


Asked about the Dubai Ports, Bath & Beyond deal, well, last week it was “This deal wouldn’t go forward if we were concerned about the security for the United States of America.” Today: “If there was any doubt in my mind, or people in my administration’s mind that our ports would be less secure and the American people endangered, this deal wouldn’t go forward.” Then he accused everyone who opposes the deal of getting the basic facts wrong: “And I can understand people’s consternation because the first thing they heard was that a foreign company would be in charge of our port security, when, in fact, the Coast Guard and Customs are in charge of our port security.” Anyone else feel that we’ve just been horribly insulted by George Bush suggesting we’re all just as ignorant as, well, George Bush?

A moving/falling object

The front page of the Ha’aretz website Saturday provides a perhaps unfortunate summary of an article: “Hamas PM nominee to Washington Post: We don’t want Jews thrown in sea, deal would be in stages.” First, up to their knees...

George W. Bush: a moving/falling object.

Somehow, “object” gives him too much credit.

Shrub’s praise last week for General Masharaf – “I believe he’s committed to free and open elections.” – reminded me of his father’s 1981 toast to Ferdinand Marcos, “We love you, sir, we love your adherence to democratic principles.” When Marcos was ousted 20 years ago, I made my first and last call to a talk radio program to remind the listeners of that quote. After an hour on hold, I was put on the air for 10 seconds before they broke for news.

Saddam Hussein has called off his alleged hunger strike for “health reasons.” Evidently no one told him that not eating was unhealthy.

Robert Fisk quotes Condi Rice denouncing Iran because its policies “contradict the nature of the kind of Middle East sought by the United States”. Why how dare they!

Fisk also quotes Churchill, writing to Lloyd George in 1922 about dealing with Iraqi insurgency: “At present we are paying eight millions a year for the privilege of living on an ungrateful volcano out of which we are in no circumstances to get anything worth having.”

Antonin Scalia is nostalgic for the days he used to carry ride the subway in New York carrying a rifle.

A terrible kind of war

The irony is not just that the United States is trying so hard to crush a democratically elected Hamas government, it’s that Condi went this week to an emirate, a monarchy, and whatever you want to call Egypt, to enlist their aid in that grand enterprise. (Update: the WaPo has an interesting article on this very subject).

The Bushies, behind a thick film of flop sweat, are responding to the Samarra de-dome-ification with forced cheerfulness. Says Bush, “I’m optimistic,” citing those stupid purple fingers again. And Condi claims to think that the violence in Iraq is just a bump in the road: “This makes it harder today and perhaps tomorrow, but I am confident the Iraqis are committed to, dedicated to the formation of a national unity government.” And she blamed “sectarian tensions” on “outsiders.” In fact, she’s attributing the mosque bombing to Al Qaeda, for which there is, as far I know, no actual evidence. Ambassador Khalilzad is peddling a variant of the familiar “the attacks show how desperate the insurgents are” spin, saying that the Samarra bombing could bring Iraqis together, “given that the Iraqi leaders know and appreciate that civil war is a terrible kind of war.” As opposed to the fun-for-the-whole-family, fluffy bunny kind of war. So the closer they get to civil war the better, or something.

On your marks

Vice President Dick Cheney presents the Distinguished Service Cross to Lieutenant Bernard W. Bail and... OH MY GOD! That’s not a Distinguished Service Cross! It’s a bull’s-eye! A BULL’S-EYE!! Run, Lt. Bail, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!

I understand the war on terror is universal

You know, that “confident, capable Iraqi government” Gen. Lynch spoke of yesterday? Isn’t it supposed to be gone by now? Weren’t there, like, elections a few months ago that were supposed to replace those people? Does anyone now believe that there will be negotiations leading to a government that can win the support of 2/3 of the national assembly?

I assume it’s a mistake, but the White House website lists Bush’s interview with Indian state tv as taking place from 11:18 to 11:28 this morning, and an interview with Pakistani tv from 11:20 to 11:37, both in the Map Room, like one of those sitcoms where the guy makes dates with two different women for the same time, and hilarity ensues. With India, he continues to play Professor Harold Hill: “And the more nuclear power used by great emerging democracies and economies like India, the better off we’ll all be.” An Indian reporter tries to link the presence in Pakistan of both Al Qaeda and training camps for “Pakistan-occupied Kashmir.” Bush replies, “I understand the war on terror is universal,” but says Musharaf, just like India and the US, “cares deeply about innocent life.” So that’s ok then.

The Pakistani interviewer also asked about Kashmir, and what the US can do to help. Bush: “Well, I started to play a role in my speech, and I spoke out on the issue and encouraged the President and the Prime Minister of India to continue down the road of solving the issue with a solution that’s acceptable to all sides.” Now why didn’t anyone think of that before? And on Al Qaeda, he opines, “Nobody should want foreign fighters in their soil wreaking havoc.”

American Moron, indeed.

Caption contest:

Nobody expects...

The Voice of America is given a tour of interrogation rooms in Guantanamo, designed to indicate that the voice of America’s indefinite detainees is not a shriek of pain. Oh sure, prisoners were beaten up, mistakes were made, but, the VOA says several times, that’s all in the past now.

Among our weapons... the Comfy Chair. No, not this one.


This one:


And it’s a recliner. A Lazy-Unlawful-Combatant-Boy. Note the thing on the floor for the shackles.

Go massive

Rumsfeld, 9/11/01, according to declassified notes taken by a staffer: “judge whether good enough [to] hit S.H. [Saddam Hussein] at same time - not only UBL [Usama Bin Laden]” and “Go massive... Sweep it all up. Things related and not.” Rummy was looking for a quick, violent response, so I assume this wasn’t (yet) about invading and occupying Iraq but about bombing it, a lot.

Simon Tisdall in the Guardian comments that there is less American talk about “victory” in Iraq these days. Yes, but it’s not just because we’re, you know, losing. Look at the events since the Samarra dome bombing: we’re irrelevant. Whether there will or won’t be a civil war is no longer up to us. “Victory” would imply that we’re a major player there and, somehow, we no longer are.

We’re allies and we coordinate: Bush talks to Indian and Pakistani reporters

In advance of his trip to India and Pakistan, Bush said Wednesday that he wants a solution to the Kashmir situation “acceptable to both sides.” Later he had to pretend that he meant to say “all sides,” including the, you know, actual Kashmiris. He did this in separate interviews (naturally) with Indian and Pakistani journalists; only the former is on the White House website for some reason. The transcript of the latter is here.

With the Pakistanis, he addressed the Cartoon Wars: “nor do I appreciate the fact that some are... cynically manipulating the anger that some have felt over these cartoons.” I know, cynically manipulating anger, just imagine. Oh, and also: “The nation needs to be closer to the Waltons than the Simpsons.” (George H.W. Bush, 1/27/92)

Finally, someone asked him about Damadola, giving him the opportunity to refuse to say whether he’d ordered a bombing raid inside Pakistan or not, but that if he had....: “We coordinate. We’re allies and we coordinate. Nor do we talk about sensitive anti-terror operations. Of course the United States mourns the loss of innocent life.” There’s no “of course” about it. And what exactly is “sensitive” about it? He’s trying to sound as if he’s protecting legitimate security secrets, but I’m pretty sure the people of Damadola know they’ve been bombed.

Bush has been talking about helping India develop nuclear power plants. The Pakistanis wanted to know why he wasn’t doing the same for them. He said, well maybe later. He did not say, because for 20 years you’ve been selling nuclear technology to everyone and his uncle. An Indian reporter had asked about A.Q. Khan in their interview with Bush, and Bush referred to that “conspiracy,” suddenly realized that he was using a word that implicated his good buddy Musharaf, and altered it to “activities.”

An Indian asked whether he was more comfortable dealing with dictators and monarchs. He pretending they were talking about Queen Elizabeth.

And he was asked (I guess this is the Indian equivalent of boxers or briefs) which he’d rather watch, a cricket match or a Bollywood movie.

Cricket.

This deal wouldn’t go forward if we were concerned about the security for the United States of America

George Bush is going to India and Pakistan. He will be pretending that the latter is a democracy, not run by the military at all.

Pakistan has a lively and generally free press. I’m confident I will hear from them on my trip to Pakistan. (Laughter.) Occasionally, there’s interference by security forces, but it’s a strong press.

He will of course be milking American assistance after the Pakistani earthquake for all it’s worth.

The terrorists have said that America is the Great Satan. Today, in the mountains of Pakistan, they call our Chinook helicopters “angels of mercy.”

And today, he imparted the wisdom that “The destruction of a holy site is a political act intending to create strife.” And we know how much he hates politics. He reiterated American “commitment in helping to rebuild that holy site.” Like the Shiites actually want his infidel fingerprints on their golden dome.

Yes, I’m aware that sounded kinda dirty.

Asked about Dubai Ports ‘N Stuff, Bush explained the intricacy of the economics of the situation: “The management of some ports, which, heretofore, has been managed by a foreign company will be managed by another company from a foreign land. And so people don’t need to worry about security. This deal wouldn’t go forward if we were concerned about the security for the United States of America.” By this time, you will already have seen that last sentence 10 or more times. Now you’ve seen it again. It’s almost zen-like, isn’t it, I mean if the Buddha were a complete moron. But it’s the previous sentence that really sums up his message: people shouldn’t worry about it. He also said that people should be “comforted” that our ports will be secure, and that Bushies were “bringing a sense of calm to this issue”. It’s like the period a few weeks after 9/11 when they kept talking about making people “feel secure” flying again, rather than talking about making them actually secure.

Condi Rice has been touring the Middle East this week, possibly trying to find a country to run all those nuclear plants Bush wants to build. But she also tried with no success to convince Egypt, Saudi Arabia etc not to fund the Palestinian government. The Saudi foreign minister gave the perfect response, even if he probably doesn’t mean a word of it: “We do not want to link international aid to the Palestinian people with considerations other than their terrible humanitarian needs.”

In the headlines, “shrine fury” replaces last week’s “cartoon fury.”

Fortunately, General Rick Lynch reassures us that the shrine fury does not rise to the level of a civil war, because only 7 Sunni mosques have been destroyed by those “inflammated” by the Samarra bombing: “So we are not seeing civil war igniting in Iraq. We are not seeing 77, 80, 100 mosques damaged in Iraq. We are not seeing death on the streets.” Possibly the 130 killed (so far) were on sidewalks. (Update: AP headline: “47 Bodies Found in Ditch North of Baghdad.” See, we’re only seeing death in the ditches.) And OK, it’s only been a day since the bombing, but I’m sure it’ll blow over quickly, just like that cartoon thing. (Another update: some reports now have dozens of Sunni mosques being attacked. Lynch may be a little sorry that he actually defined what would constitute a civil war.)

Brokeback mountain, in Lego.

They like the yellow

Follow-up: Gen. Bantz Craddock touted the incredible pampering of hunger-striking prisoners in Guatanamo, who are allowed to choose the color of the feeding tube shoved into their noses. I can now reveal that those tubes come in yellow, beige and clear. “They like the yellow,” sez Craddock. I’m thinking like may be too strong a word.

Oh, my goodness, there’s violence today; isn’t that different

I meant to say in the last post that I don’t consider it a huge security risk that an Emirati multinational corporation rather than a British or an American one will be hiring the illegal immigrants who work in our ports.

General Bantz Craddock, head of US Southern Command, which includes Guantanamo, admits the use of restraint chairs on hunger-strikers, and, more or less, to using brutality to try to break the hunger strike. “Pretty soon it wasn’t convenient, and they decided it wasn’t worth it. A lot of the detainees said: ‘I don’t want to put up with this. This is too much of a hassle.’” Imagine what sort of a “hassle” it takes to dissuade people already committed to starving themselves to death. One form of hassle revealed by the NYT: not leaving the NG tube in in between feedings, but removing and re-inserting it each time. That’s where the argument that this is being done on medical grounds falls away, and it becomes torture, pure and simple. Craddock, however, portrays the hunger-strikers as pampered children, “indulged,” the says (I’d have liked the actual quotation), “to the point that they had been allowed to choose the color of their feeding tubes.”

The US is still paying Iraqi newspapers to print puff pieces, despite Rumsfeld’s denials last week. Or perhaps not. Rummy said Tuesday that “It was put under review, and I don’t have knowledge as to whether or not it’s been stopped.”

Rummy on Iraq: “There has been sectarian violence in that part of the world for decades. ... And so it’s -- to isolate out violence today and say, ‘Oh, my goodness, there’s violence today; isn’t that different’... would be out of context, because in fact there’s been incredible violence in that country for year after year after year.” After year.

I say veto, by the way, quite frequently in messages to Congress

There was a Linda Tripp legal defense fund, so I suppose it was inevitable that there be one for Scooter Libby, “one of the unsung heroes in fighting the war on terror.” Unsung? Why, that’s just so unfair. I would suggest a contest to come up with a Song for Scooter, but I’m afraid you people would actually write one.

The ability of the Cartoon Wars to generate entertaining headlines continues unabated. From The Times: “More Killed by Cartoon Mobs.” In Nigeria. Actually it’s no longer about the cartoons, but about a Christian teacher who took a Koran away from a student, then came the inevitable rumors about desecration, then the machetes came out. Honestly, I’d rather picture cartoon mobs, if you don’t mind.

Another good headline: “Psychics Help Hunt for Prize Dog.” The psychics have informed the owners that the dog, which escaped Kennedy Airport, is in a building.

Fun fact to learn and forget: the people of the United Arab Emirates are called Emirati.

And of course Bush is planning to turn over management of six American ports to an Emirati firm, Dubai Ports ‘R Us, bringing extra scrutiny to his complete failure to secure American ports against terrorists. Says Bush, “I really don’t understand why it’s okay for a British company to operate our ports, but not a company from the Middle East... And I want those who are questioning it to step up and explain why all of a sudden a Middle Eastern company is held to a different standard than a Great British [sic] company.” Of course he’s been talking all week about ways to reduce our addiction to oil from the Middle East, not British oil from the North Sea.

On Congressional threats to legislate against this move:

Q Why is it so important to you, sir, that you take on this issue as a political fight? Clearly, there’s bipartisan --

THE PRESIDENT: I don’t view it as a political fight. So do you want to start your question over? I view it as a good policy. [snip...]

THE PRESIDENT: It’s not a political issue.

Q But there clearly are members of your own party who will go to the mat against you on this.

THE PRESIDENT: It’s not a political issue.

Q Why are you -- to make this, to have this fight?

THE PRESIDENT: I don’t view it as a fight. I view it as me saying to people what I think is right, the right policy. [snip...]

THE PRESIDENT: That’s one of the tools the President has to indicate to the legislative branch his intentions. A veto doesn’t mean fight, or politics, it’s just one of the tools I’ve got. I say veto, by the way, quite frequently in messages to Congress.

I was going to try to figure out how he defines the terms political and politics – what does he mean by saying that a veto doesn’t mean politics and by the twice-iterated “It’s not a political issue”? I thought it might illuminate his growing contempt for any element of government not meeting behind closed doors in the White House. Then I remembered that this is Bush we’re talking about, the man who describes everything as “interesting” and has little more sense of the meaning of words he puts into sentences than my cat does when she walks across my keyboard, and not much more desire to communicate in any meaningful way. After all, what is the value of a medium for the communication of ideas to a man who has no ideas. Politics means something bad, or people bitching about the good things he does, certainly it’s not something he ever does, he just gets on with the business of governing. Or something.

We are not going to invest the resources of the American people to build forces run by people who are sectarian -- except maybe Pat Robertson

The quote of the day is from American Ambassador/Viceroy to Iraq, Zalmay Khalilzad, giving Iraqi politicians a jolly good public scolding: “We are not going to invest the resources of the American people to build forces run by people who are sectarian.” Sounds like he’s getting ready to write off Iraq on his taxes. “Invest,” indeed. Arguably, though, sectarian forces are the only American success story, investment-wise. Not a lot to show for the money poured into electricity generation, or oil production, but we’ve sure managed to turn small armed gangs into entire police forces, army units, and Interior Ministry death squads, with franchises popping up everywhere like fucking Starbucks.

In that press conference (by the way, has anyone seen a transcript?), he also told Iran to fuck off (“none of their business”), in response to its demand that the British withdraw troops from Basra (20 miles from the Iranian border), where those videos of British troops beating Iraqi youths and laughing about it were recorded. British defense minister John Reid echoed Rumsfeld’s response to Abu Ghraib by attacking those who failed to empathize with the troops and even dare to suggest that the enforcement of human rights laws, which he calls a “convenient banner under which some who are fundamentally opposed to our armed forces, or the government of the day, or to a particular military conflict, have chosen to march.” He asks people to be “slower to condemn.” OK. 5.. 4.. 3.. 2.. 1..

Follow-up: speaking of condemning, that execution in California is now on hold because the two anesthesiologists pulled out. I don’t think I’ve mentioned that one of the pieces of evidence against him came from a jailhouse informer who said that Morales confessed to him in fluent Spanish, which Morales does not speak. Morales is definitely guilty, really really guilty, but this evidence may have helped get him the death sentence. But the appeals courts aren’t interested.

Speaking of occupied countries, the UN seems finally to be moving towards independence for Kosovo, and Serbs are not happy, no sirree. They keep threatening to start referring to Kosovo as “occupied territory,” as if that was supposed to scare somebody. I’m not sure why it would, nor who they think Kosovo is occupied by, except, you know, Kosovars. Possibly by occupied they mean the opposite of ethnically cleansed.

The future is bright

My mistake, the BBC is keeping a tally of Cartoon War deaths. 44 at least so far. In Pakistan, a Christian church was burned down after yet another Hey-didja-hear-some-guy-burned-the-Koran rumor, and the military has been deployed to protect American fast-food restaurants, which is not a phrase you get to use every day.

Today Bush went to a company called Johnson Controls, Inc., after being assured that they would not try to control his johnson. I’m not proud of that joke, but it had to be said. Actually, he went to look at lithium-ion batteries being developed for hybrid cars. He hoped to buy one for the LauraBot 3000.


He began his speech: “Thanks for letting me come by to say ‘hello.’ (Laughter.)” Now, is that derisive laughter or what? He said it was

really neat to see the engineers and the scientists and the Ph.D.s all working hard to apply their God-given talents to help this country remain on the leading edge of technology.

Just had to slip God in there, didn’t you?

As is usual in these things, he brought some congresscritters, Gwen Moore, Mark Green & Paul Ryan, and thanked them for coming, adding, “We have eaten a lot of custard in the past. (Laughter.) I’m still recovering, I want you to know. (Laughter.)” That crowd will just laugh at anything, won’t they? Maybe it’s just the way he tells it. Custard. Whatever.

Later he goes on about ethanol and switch grass again. He explains the science behind this: “we’re coming up with a way to make something out of nothing.” It’s all just magic beans to him.

Or possibly magic radioactive beans, since he also advocates building lots of nuclear power plants. Hey, France is doing it! And China’s doing it! So it must be good! Says they’re completely safe, but to create an incentive to build them, the federal government will provide risk insurance for the next six. But if they’re completely safe, shouldn’t insurance cost, like, nothing? Says nuke plants are “part of our way to make sure that the future is bright”. No laughter this time. Custard, funny, glow-in-the-dark grandkids, not so much, evidently. Must be that comical k sound.


The future is so bright, the scientists told him with suppressed giggles, you’ll need to buy these special glasses. Only $500, Mr. President.

And we’re “going to work with other nations to help them build nuclear power industries,” like a nuclear Johnny Appleseed. “We want people growing in the world.”

He’s also downright visionary about other far-out technologies: “For example, roof makers will one day be able to create a solar roof that protects you from the elements and, at the same time, powers your house.” Wow, we could even call it solar... energy.

If he does perform, nobody will remember it

Up until today, all of the dead in the Cartoon Wars were protestors, usually killed by private or state security forces, including the 10 in Libya yesterday. So the score was Allah 0, Thor 25 or 30 (why is no one keeping a running tally?). Saturday’s deaths in Nigeria, however, 16 plus, were mostly Christians killed by Muslims, and the arson targets were not Scandinavian embassies or KFCs (which I understand can burn for over 10 years) but Christian churches and Christian-owned shops.

And the bounty on the head of the Danish cartoonist is now over $10m. The latest top-up comes from an official of the state government of Uttar Pradesh, India, the... wait for it... minister of minority welfare, a man who rejoices in the name Mohamed Yaqoob Qureshi. In fact, he shares that last name with the Pakistani cleric who announced the $1-million-and-a-car reward Friday. Hmm.

René Préval has negotiated with the Haitian electoral commission to avoid a run-off by ignoring the (suspiciously numerous) blank ballots, pushing him over the 50% threshold. The American ambassador says that it only matters that the election laws were flouted if Préval does a bad job in office. “If he does perform, nobody will remember it.” This is a man who works for George W. Bush. Ambassador Carney, pushing for the continued exile of Aristide, says that the elections “confirmed that Aristide is a man of the past, unlikely to have any role in Haiti’s future.” Not quite sure how he comes to that particular conclusion. Was there also a ballot measure, Is Jean-Bertrand Aristide a man of the past, yes or no, that I haven’t heard about?

Harry Hutton on who’s worse, Tony Blair or Hitler (I won’t spoil it for you by revealing the answer).

The LAT on regulations quietly, some would say stealthily, issued by the Bushies that eliminate consumers’ rights to sue over dangerous products. The article also discusses Bushie efforts to overturn state regulations on such things as emissions standards, privacy, or credit card disclosure. Not only a must-read, but a why-the-hell-haven’t-we-read-this-before?

And welcome to the Monkeysphere, or possibly spherical monkeys.