Today -100: June 9, 1911: Of earthquakes, burials, and calamities

Big earthquake in Mexico, 1,300 killed.

The new Mexican government is sending 1,500 to 2,000 troops to suppress the socialist utopia in Baja. It’s sending them by train via Los Angeles and San Diego. They will be disarmed while on the Arizona-to-San Diego portion of the trip.

The archbishop of Paris refuses to allow the late Prime Minister of France Maurice Rouvier a Catholic burial: the law separating church & state was passed during his premiership.

Teddy Roosevelt says he is definitely, absolutely not running for president in 1912 and it would be a “calamity” if he were nominated, and “there will be no more statements regarding the matter.” So I guess that settles that.

Today -100: June 8, 1911: Of suffrage, horsies, gasping senators, and crude expletives

The lower house of the Connecticut Legislature defeats women’s suffrage for municipal elections 168 to 49. It had passed the state Senate. Evidently it’s a little game in Connecticut: one house passes women’s suffrage, the other defeats it.

NYT: “Henry L. Stimson, the new Secretary of War, is fast acclimating himself to the atmosphere of the army. Accompanied by Gen. Leonard Wood, Chief of Staff, he rode on horseback to-day from Fort Myer, VA., to the drill camp of the Engineer Corps...” In 1911 “acclimating yourself to the atmosphere of the army” still meant riding a horse.

Headline of the Day -100: “Made Old Senators Gasp.” NY state senators were aghast when a young senator questioned a $9,000 earmark for his district that he hadn’t even asked for and which he said wasn’t needed. One senator suggested a monument be erected to the young senator, while another said that not accepting an appropriation was “little short of treason.” The treasonous senator? Franklin D. Roosevelt.

I admit I was a little excited to see in the NYT Index that there was a letter to the paper headlined “Crude expletives.” Imagine my disappointment that the writer was complaining about people who sprinkle conversations with “Is that so?”

President Barack Obama and Chancellor Angela Merkel hold a joint press conference

No one asks about Anthony Weiner’s penis. The end.

Today -100: June 7, 1911: The truth of history

Sen. Joseph Weldon Bailey (D-TX), at a gathering of Confederate veterans celebrating Jefferson Davis’s birthday, says “The truth of history was with the Confederate people. ... If the Southern people believed they could not remain in the Union with honor and safety, they had a right to secede.” The guest of honor was Jeff Davis’s old negro “body servant,” who is the only person who knows where the seal of the Confederate States is now, and he ain’t telling.

Man-On-Dog is in it to win it!

Rick Santorum entered the presidential race today, just in time to be cockblocked by Anthony Weiner. His email says, “I have stood up for family, faith, fetuses, and freedom.” I may have added one of those.

At his announcement, he talked about how his grandfather emigrated from fascist Italy, where everyone referred to him as “il mix spumeggiante di materia fecale lubrificante e che a volte è il sottoprodotto del sesso anale,” and came to the United States so he could achieve the American dream of working down a Pennsylvania coal mine until he was 72.

In Obama’s America, Little Ricky says, “Every single American will be hooked to the government with an IV.” I dunno, sounds better than working down a mine until you’re 72. I mean, if that’s the choice.

At Normandy, (today’s D-Day +67), evidently, “Those Americans risked everything so they could make that decision on their health care plan.”

George Stephanopoulos asked Santorum if Sarah Palin was right about Paul Revere. He refused to comment.

Today -100: June 6, 1911: Of Jews in the cavalry and negroes in Maryland

Maryland recently introduced various measures to disfranchise negroes in local elections, including property qualifications and a grandfather clause. These were ruled unconstitutional by the federal district court. The state is appealing, but the new three-day registration period began today, and there are no registers (registrars) willing to do the work, since whatever they do they would find themselves either violating the US constitution or committing an infraction under the state law, which penalizes registers who register more than 6 negroes.

President Taft orders that Col. Joseph Garrard, commander of the cavalry post at Fort Myer, be reprimanded for opposing the promotion of a private because he is Jewish.

And I know my American history

Sarah Palin’s national tour somehow took her into an interview on Fox News Sunday (oddly enough, she was in Arizona. That bus sure does get around). Note that the Fox transcript isn’t very good.

SOMEONE TAUGHT HER THE PHRASE “QUANTITATIVE EASING.” IF SOMEONE ASKED HER TO DEFINE “QUANTITATIVE EASING,” YOUTUBE WOULD EXPLODE: “And you add, too, the fact that this quantitative easing, one and two, hasn’t worked and we’re talking about Q.E. 3 already and the devalued dollar is an addition to this problem.”

SO THE UNEMPLOYMENT NUMBERS WERE “SKEWED” BY PEOPLE BEING HIRED? “The month of April was tough, too. There were jobs added to the marketplace, Chris, but remember, that was McDonald’s out there with their big push to hire 50,000-some people. So, I think there were some numbers skewed last month, too.”

THOUGH OBVIOUSLY NOT AS NOBLE AS QUITTING HALFWAY THROUGH YOUR TERM: “And it’s very noble of President Obama to want to stay at the helm and maybe go down with this sinking ship.”

CROWDING OUT? “What President Palin would do is cut the federal budget, making sure that we’re crowding out private sector investment.”

SO THE ONLY THING THE GOVERNMENT SHOULD SPEND ITS INCOME ON IS SERVICING THE DEBT? “We rake in $58 billion a day, our federal government, via payroll taxes and or other revenue sources. If we prioritize and took that $68 billion a day and service our debt, we don’t have to raise that debt ceiling.”

“If I were in Congress, though, I would be a ‘no’ vote to raising that debt ceiling. I would send that message...” By ringing those bells and sending those warning shots, just like Paul Revere. “...that it is failed leadership in the White House and with our elected officials when they have allowed to us to get this breaking point, if you will, that Moody’s is warning about.” Actually, as Chris Wallace explained to you, Sarah, what Moody’s is warning about is Congress doing what you said you would do.

She’s “very frustrated” with the “spin” that Paul Ryan is trying to eliminate Medicare. “Now, what’s going to do away with Medicare is if we keep going down the road that we’re on. But Obama evidently wants us to go down because we will have a bankrupt Medicare system.” She does not explain why Obama wants to bankrupt Medicare.

On Afghanistan, it’s all up to David Petraeus: “Now, I have great faith in Petraeus and he -- his folks with boots on the ground and on the front lines, I trust that Petraeus will know of this timeline that makes most sense for America’s interest to be met in Afghanistan.” Four invocations of Saint David. Who is retiring in September.

TO PERHAPS WANT US THERE: “Take Afghanistan, conditions certainly have changed even in this last week or two when President Karzai comes out and acts like the host nation to perhaps want us there, or NATO. NATO, as we help lead NATO, we are still concerned about civilians and making sure that civilian casualties are not part of any kind of strategy. And yet, that kind of get thrown back in our face...” Don’t you hate it when they throw our killing civilians back in our face? “...and there -- it sounds like a message being sent to America...” Possibly by ringing those bells and sending those warning shots, just like Paul Revere. “...and to NATO today by President Karzai that perhaps we’re not wanted there.” And if there’s one thing Sarah Palin hates, it’s people who go where they’re not wanted.

“Yes, those two factors, Chris, that you mention have got to be considered and revaluated. ‘A,’ the host nation ability to understand what it is that we are trying to do for them and with them in their nation; and the cost of war. Three wars that we’re going engaged in today and our country nearing bankruptcy, we have to rethink everything that we’re doing with foreign aid and with foreign intervention. We have got to make sure that it’s America’s interest first being met in each one of these nations.” So she’s complaining about Afghanistan’s “ability to understand” what we’re trying to do “for them and with them,” which she says is putting America’s interest first. What’s so difficult to understand about that, Afghanistan?

She is not on “some publicity tour,” she says in this umpteenth interview on her non-publicity tour. “I’m publicizing Americana and our foundation and how important it is that we learn about our past and our challenges and victories throughout American history, so that we can successfully proceed forward -- very heady days, rough waters ahead of us, Chris. We need to make sure that we have a strong grasp of our foundational victories so we can move forward.” Prepare to have your grasp of our foundational victories strengthened:

You know what? I didn’t mess up about Paul Revere. Here is what Paul Revere did. He warned the Americans that the British were coming, the British were coming, and they were going to try take our arms and we got to make sure that we were protecting ourselves and shoring up all of ammunitions and our firearms so that they couldn’t take it. But remember that the British had already been there, many soldiers for seven years in that area. And part of Paul Revere’s ride -- and it wasn’t just one ride -- he was a courier, he was a messenger. Part of his ride was to warn the British that we’re already there. That, hey, you’re not going to succeed. You’re not going to take American arms. You are not going to beat our own well-armed persons, individual, private militia that we have. He did warn the British. And in a shout-out, gotcha type of question that was asked of me, I answered candidly. And I know my American history.

And now, so do we all.

(The gotcha type of question in question: “What have you been doing during your visit to Boston?”)

SHE MEANT TO RUN THEM OVER WITH HER BUS: “I apologize if I stepped on any -- any of that PR that Mitt Romney needed or wanted that day. I do sincerely apologize. I didn’t mean to step on anybody’s toes.”

Today -100: June 5, 1911: Of labor battles

Striking Pennsylvania Railroad workers exchange gunfire with scabs.

Today -100: June 4, 1911: Of judsons, shaftings, and death threats

Judson Harmon, Democratic governor of Ohio, will run for president in 1912. Judson fever... catch it!

Dirty-Sounding-But-Not-Really-Dirty Headline of the Day -100: “Whirled to Death in Shafting.” Actually a horrible cement-related death.

Texas Governor Oscar Branch Colquitt will deliver a series of anti-prohibition speeches. He has received so many death threats (one involving dynamite) that he will travel with a body guard.

Just tell me when this whole Weiner thing blows...um...over

Barack Obama visited a Chrysler plant in Toledo, and I couldn’t even get past the opening warming-up-the-crowd remarks, because I kept making the same stupid joke:

THAT’S WHAT ANTHONY WEINER SAYS ABOUT HIS PENIS: “I just want you to know that I stopped by Rudy’s -- (laughter) -- had two hot dogs, two chili dogs with onions.”


THAT’S WHAT ANTHONY WEINER SAYS ABOUT HIS PENIS: “I just took a short tour of the plant and watched some of you putting the finishing touches on the Wrangler.”

THAT’S WHAT ANTHONY WEINER SAYS ABOUT HIS PENIS: “And this plant indirectly supports hundreds of other jobs right here in Toledo. After all, without you, who’d eat at Chet’s or Inky’s or Rudy’s? Or who’d buy all those cold ones at Zinger’s? This guy right here? That’s the Zinger crew right there.”


I think it’s time for this member (yeah, yeah, I said member) of the Zinger crew to go lie down.

...And take a nap! A nap is why I’m going to go lie down! And not for any other reason!!

Today -100: June 3, 1911: Of cram, phone calls, and who owns Guatemala

Dirty-Sounding-But-Not-Really-Dirty Headline of the Day -100: “M’Aneny Asks Dix to Withdraw Cram.”

The cost of telephone calls in 1911 NYC: the Public Service Commission has ordered reductions in rates. Henceforth calls from Manhattan to Brooklyn will cost 5 for 5 minutes or less (reduced from 10 ), and those from Manhattan to Long Island will be 10 , down from 15 .

An American-French syndicate headed by A. E. Spriggs, the former lieutenant governor of Montana, now owns Guatemala. That is, it has been granted rights to the country’s entire mineral resources (for which it will pay the Guatemalan government 10% of the profits), exclusive rights to use waterways, and rights to build roads, railways, bridges, etc, to operate telephone and telegraph lines, electric plants and any other public utilities it sees fit, to sell farm products, operate banks and newspapers, etc etc.

I couldn’t avoid doing a Weiner joke forever

Today, Twitt Romney announced for the presidency at a family farm, “where he invited supporters and media to a ‘Cookout With Mitt and Ann.’”

Meanwhile, Anthony Weiner invited supporters and media to a... oh, you’re way ahead of me, aren’t you?

Today -100: June 2, 1911: Of respectable saloon keepers, Tubman, and sacrilege

The Women’s Christian Temperance Union tries to get the principal of the Frances Willard Public School in Chicago, which is named after the WCTU founder, fired for saying that “a respectable saloon keeper is just as respectable as a respectable banker.” They say that for Ms Reed to keep her job would be “an insult directed at the organization and at womanhood in general.” The school board does not fire her, but does direct that in future principals and teachers should “refrain from making public any comparison likely to incur ill-will or hatred between classes of citizens as regards religion, race, nationality, or occupation.”

Harriet Tubman, aged 89, is destitute and has to enter a home for old black people that was founded a few years before with donations from Tubman herself.

The NY Legislature passes a bill banning plays (including those performed privately) from having “a living character representing the Deity.”

Imprimatur

The Supreme Court rules 8-0 that Abdullah al-Kidd can’t sue then-Attorney General John Ashcroft for misusing the material witness statute to imprison him for reasons that had nothing to do with him being a material witness to anything.

In a concurring opinion, Sotomayor wrote, “Nothing in the majority’s opinion today should be read as placing this court’s imprimatur on the actions taken by the government against al-Kidd.”

Unless you count making it impossible for him to receive any sort of redress for those actions, and doing nothing that would prevent governments in the future locking up anyone they want to without evidence or trial.

Today -100: June 1, 1911: Of retiring dictators, titanics (titanix?), palaces, and veterans

Former-President-For-Life Porfirio Díaz gets on a boat and takes his leave of Mexico. His final words on shore: “I shall die in Mexico,” adding, “or, you know, maybe France. Whatever.” In a little speech before that to some loyalist soldiers, he said that the new government would be forced to use his methods – repression, violence, general assholery, that sort of thing – to maintain peace. One of those soldiers was Gen. Victoriano Huerta, so we know one person at least took Díaz’s words to heart.

Eek. NYT Index Typo of the Day: “WOMEN FIGHT SUFFRAGE BILL; Ask Connecticut mouse to Reject One Passed by Senate.”

Headline of the Day -100: “The Titanic Launched.”

Someone has blown up the presidential palace (and a fort) in Nicaragua, killing over 100 people. Believed to be a plot by supporters of former prez Estrada.

The Commissioner of Pensions rules that Louise Bliss is not a veteran and did not, as she has often claimed, dress as a man and fight in the Civil War. So no pension for her.

Today -100: May 31, 1911: I want to make all the stronger nations ask us not to hurt them

Woodrow Wilson, in North Carolina, when asked about a possible presidential run, says “It is too far off to talk about.”

A Mexican is lynched in Barstow, Texas for shouting “Viva Díaz!” during a celebration of the success of the Revolution.

Ray Harroun wins the first Indianapolis 500, driving a Marmon Wasp (the very one pictured below), winning around $15,000. He drove the 500 miles at an average speed of 74 mph. Harroun’s great innovation, used here for the first time in an automobile, was the rear-view mirror; his was the only car not to have a mechanic passenger to keep a watch on the road behind. There was one fatality, the driver of a car whose front wheels fell off and was thrown 20 feet – no one had invented the seat belt.


It was Memorial Day, which in those days was of course strictly about the Civil War (which I notice the NYT doesn’t initial cap). Compare and contrast: President Taft gave a speech at Arlington arguing that the US should “strain ever nerve... to avoid war in the future.” And just as Americans as individuals have (mostly) “progressed” away from fighting duels over insults to their honor, so nations should “refuse to go to war for an insult” and instead “submit to the arbitrament of a peaceful tribunal”. Teddy Roosevelt, on the other hand, addressing Civil War veterans at Grant’s Tomb: “I took part in a little war which came after your big war. It was all the war there was, and it was not our fault that there wasn’t war enough to go around.” He doesn’t support arbitration, especially over the Monroe Doctrine or Asiatic immigration, and he does support a big navy: “I don’t want to put myself in the position of having to ask strong nations not to hurt us. I want to make all the stronger nations ask us not to hurt them”.

News you missed this weekend (but not that much)

The king of Sweden denies he’s ever been in a strip club. Which means he’s totally been in a strip club.

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Top news on Fox News: “Is Obama Chewing Gum at Joplin Memorial Service?”

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From the BBC: “Police in southern Bangladesh say a woman cut off a man’s penis during an alleged attempt to rape her and took it to a police station as evidence.” Said a police spokesmodel: “As far as I am aware, this is the first time that a woman has brought a severed penis to the police station as evidence.”

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Also from the Beeb: “Severed Head of Patron Saint of Genital Disease on Sale.” That’s St. Vitalis of Assisi. “He died in 1370, and word of his sanctity soon spread due to reports of numerous miracles performed on those with bladder and genital disorders.” “The Holy Cross Monastery, a Benedictine order in Rostrevor, County Down, did not even know who St Vitalis was, and after an internet search, declined to comment further on the matter of his or anyone else’s severed head.”

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I’m conflicted. As fun as it would be to watch Michele Bachmann run for president, to do so she’d have to forego running for the Senate and I was looking forward to her debates with Al Franken.

To be clear, that was a picture of St. Vitalis of Assisi, not St. Michele of Minnesota. Although I understand Ms. Bachmann has also performed numerous miracles on those with bladder and genital disorders.

Name of the Day

From the world football scandal I couldn’t care less about but which has been dominating the BBC the last few days: Fifa president Sepp Blatter.

Are we entirely sure that name wasn’t dreamt up by Douglas Adams?

Wikipedia provides us this tidbit about Mr. Blatter: “In the early 1970s, Blatter was elected president of the World Society of Friends of Suspenders, an organisation which tried to stop women replacing suspender belts with pantyhose.”

Today -100: May 30, 1911: Of Gilbert, tobacco trusts, cows, and warplanes

W.S. Gilbert, of Gilbert & Sullivan, drowns after suffering a heart attack while attempting to save a young woman in a lake. He was 74.

The Supreme Court rules that the Tobacco Trust must be dissolved.

Pope Pius X publishes an encyclical attacking the Portuguese government for suppressing Catholicism.

Coincidentally, no doubt, a monarchist plot against the Portuguese government is discovered, and dispersed by the military.

Headline of the Day -100: “Biplane Strikes Cow.”

The Lake Mohonk peace conference adopts a resolution for an international agreement banning the use of airships in warfare. The NYT agrees.

Today -100: May 29, 1911: Of castles, making eyes, and Methodists & prohibition

Dancers Vernon and Irene Castle marry.

At Cornell during Spring Days, it is traditional for the law students to “arrest” people on false charges and extort money from them for fun and profit. One Henry Koch of Brooklyn arrests Governor John A. Dix on a charge of making eyes at the girls. Dix objects, but the arrest is supported Cornell’s president. The “Court of Injustice” fines Dix $1.

The Methodist Church asks Texas Governor Oscar Branch Colquitt to resign because he opposes prohibition. He refuses, saying prohibition is a political issue not a religious one and is not part of the Confession of Faith, so the church should butt out.