Today -100: February 5, 1917: We are a moral people and are willing to make a sacrifice to establish a moral principle

Many Americans believe that even if the US enters the war, its role will be “merely passive,” providing the Allies money and munitions and that’s it. The US Navy is small and the army almost non-existent, these people say.

Wilson asks other neutral nations to follow him in breaking off diplomatic relations with Germany.

Guards are placed at docks, bridges, aqueducts, and the White House gates. Crews of German and Austrian steamships (31 of them) are told to stay onboard their ships (or go through Ellis Island immigration inspections), although the government denies that it has seized the ships.

Former President Taft suggests conscription begin now and be made permanent. “Conscription is needed to discipline our native young men and to teach them respect for authority. It is needed to teach our millions of newly created citizens loyalty.” He says the country will rally behind Wilson: “We are going to do everything that any country can do to vindicate its rights and show that we are a moral people and are willing to make a sacrifice to establish a moral principle.” Because nothing says “moral” like mass slaughter.

A Keep Out of the War meeting at Carnegie Hall will call for a national referendum before entering the war, as does former Wilson Secretary of State William Jennings Bryan. Bryan suggests the US temporarily waive its rights of free travel on the high seas.

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Today -100: February 4, 1917: We do not desire any hostile conflict with the German government

Woodrow Wilson breaks diplomatic relations with Germany. But, Wilson tells a joint session of Congress, “We do not desire any hostile conflict with the German government.” He says he “cannot bring myself to believe” that Germany intends to do what it says it will do; “I cannot bring myself to believe that they will indeed pay no regard to the ancient friendship between their people and our own... Only actual overt acts on their part can make me believe it even now.” SPOILER ALERT: Believe it, dude.

Later in the day a note arrives from Austria saying it would be following Germany’s unrestricted submarine warfare policy, so Wilson breaks relations with them too (this may be an inaccurate report) (or possibly Wilson changed his mind; one difference between the two Teutonic nations is that Germany’s change in policy violates a promise it made to the US but Austria never promised the US anything). The new ambassador has only just arrived too, and hasn’t even taken up his post.

Congressional support for Wilson is nearly unanimous, although it’s unclear (to me, anyway) how many of them share his belief that they’re not actually on the road to war.

A German u-boat sinks the US steamer Housatonic off the Skilly Isles a couple of hours after Wilson sent Ambassador Johann von Bernstorff packing (“I expect to retire to my farm and raise potatoes,” Bernstorff says). The u-boat gives the ship a one-hour warning to evacuate and even tows its lifeboats towards shore, so this is not the overt act that Wilson doesn’t believe will happen. Housatonic, by the way, is also the name of the first ship ever sunk by a submarine, during the US Civil War.

William Jennings Bryan issues a statement to the American people asking them to tell their president and congresscritters that they don’t want the US to enter the war.

Theodore Roosevelt fully supports Wilson, for once, and volunteers his own services and those of his four sons in the event of war, in a Rough-Riders-type unit he just asked the War Department permission to allow him to raise.

British Prime Minister David Lloyd George calls Germany’s unrestricted submarine warfare policy “only a development and advance along the road to complete barbarism which is crushing out of that country the last shreds of civilisation” and says it reveals the “Goth in all his naked savagery.” Sounds like he had a bad experience dating a goth chick. He says that Wilson’s “peace without victory” would just be a rest period for the Central Powers. The prime minister speaks in his constituency of Carnarvon, Wales to an audience that was carefully screened because of the fake assassination plot against him. Organizers planned to exclude women, just like in the good old pre-war suffragette days, but decided to let in a handful of wives and daughters of local notables.

The NYT says there are maybe 10,000 foreign spies (German, Austrian, Turkish, Bulgarian) in the United States, half of them in New York. That’s a lot of spies.

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Today -100: February 3, 1917: I just came to swap views

Woodrow Wilson confers with senators and the Cabinet about what to do about Germany. There seems to be consensus about breaking diplomatic relations, with differences only over whether to wait for Germany to carry through on its threats to sink ships without warning. Wilson reassures the senators that he doesn’t think Germany will actually do it, because he never tires of being wrong about things.

Wilson has a weird idea of conferring with Congress. He just went over without warning, after the Senate recessed for the day, and talked only with Democrats, because that’s all he could find. He tells reporters, “I just came to swap views.”

Bills to ban Japanese people owning land are withdrawn in the Oregon and Idaho legislatures after strong pressure from the federal government not to complicate the US’s international relations at this precarious time.

The prime minister and cabinet of Montenegro resign because King Nicholas refuses to abdicate in favor of Serbia’s crown prince in a preliminary move towards a union with Serbia.

Margaret Sanger is convicted in a non-jury trial. She says if sent to the workhouse, she will hunger strike like her sister Ethyl Byrne. Commission of Correction Lewis says Byrne was released in better physical shape than when she arrived, thanks to all that forcible feeding and received medical services – for no charge – that would have cost $1,000 a day on the outside. I’m sure Byrne will send him a thank you card or something.

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Today -100: February 2, 1917: We have been challenged to fight to the end

Woodrow Wilson has evidently given Germany 24 hours to rescind its unrestricted submarine warfare decree.

German Chancellor Theobald von Bethmann-Hollweg tells the Reichstag Ways and Means Committee, “We have been challenged to fight to the end. We accept the challenge, we stake everything, and we shall be victorious.” He says Germany is ready to accept the consequences of sub warfare.

The NYT says the federal government is drawing up names of German-Americans and sympathizers with Germany, just in case.

War is hell: the Paris police ban the sale of pastries on Tuesdays and Wednesdays.

Ethel Byrne accepts NY Gov. Charles Whitman’s offer to pardon her for distributing birth control literature if she promises not to do it again. Actually, her sister Margaret Sanger made the promise on her behalf, Byrne being too sick from the hunger-striking and force-feeding.

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Today -100: February 1, 1917: A benefit to mankind

Headline of the Day -100:

Germany announces that it will reverse the pledge it gave to the United States 9 months ago to limit its use of submarine warfare (not sinking commercial ships, especially those of neutral countries, not sinking ships without warning, attempting to rescue evacuees, etc), and resume unrestricted sub warfare starting at midnight, with the goal of stopping all shipping to Britain. One US ship a week will be allowed through a safe passage, if it is promised not to carry any contraband. Since Germany made that pledge last year in response to a US ultimatum to abide by international law or face a break in relations with the US, such a break now seems inevitable.

Germany presents its decision as a response to the perfidious British plot to starve Germany and the United States’s failure to get it to alter that plot, and as a measure to bring the war to a rapid conclusion: “Each day of the terrible struggle causes new destruction, new sufferings. Each day shortening the war will, on both sides, preserve the lives of thousands of brave soldiers and be a benefit to mankind.”

The Legal and Literary faculties of Stamboul University (Turkey) suggest the Nobel Peace Prize be awarded to Kaiser Wilhelm, the “forefighter for the peace idea.”

Theodore Roosevelt thinks the US should respond by seizing every interned German ship and banning trade with Germany.

British Colonial Secretary Walter Long says Germany will never be given its colonies back.

In Britain, Alice Wheeldon, her two daughters Hettie and Winnie and her son-in-law are charged with a plot to assassinate Prime Minister David Lloyd George and Arthur Henderson, the Labour member of the War Council. With poison darts, no less. Wheeldon was a suffrage activist before the war and has been smuggling conscription resisters out of the country. In fact, they’ve been framed by an MI5 agent provocateur, a convicted blackmailer who had been twice committed for insanity. Which was not known at the trial, because the government refused to produce him.

The Senate passes a bill for prohibition in Alaska.

There’s a new Mexican constitution. Presidencies are one term only. 8-hour day, anti-trust laws, land reform, preference for Mexicans in acquiring lands and concessions (mining etc). The US is not happy about the last part. All clergy must be Mexican citizens and can’t teach in public schools or private elementary schools.

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Working towards the Frito Führer

Trump’s MuslimBan™ was implemented without advance notice and with what seems to have been few directions about how it was to be implemented. So it is instructive to look at how government officials did implement it.

Octogenarians were handcuffed. Social media logins were demanded. People were asked their opinions of Trump. They were kept without food or medicine for long periods. Their lawyers were turned away and court orders defied. They were snidely told to “Call Mr. Trump.” CBP officers tried to trick them into signing away their residency rights. Etcetera. Still, no one was kicked to death, so that’s good.

How much of that came from above, and how much of it was low-level officials taking it upon themselves to fill in the gaps in their orders with bullying tactics and casual cruelty, because that’s what The Donald would want them to do? In 1930s Germany, this sort of behaviour was referred to as “working towards the führer.”

In the coming months, we’ll see how many government officials act like Sally Yates  – who behaved admirably but wasn’t likely to survive Trump’s ideological purge of the Justice Department anyway – how many will keep their heads down and follow every unconstitutional order blindly, and how many will take the opportunity Trump’s offering them to let their worst instincts come into play.

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Today -100: January 31, 1917: Of notes, toys, sinkings, mature women, Rodins, and unashamed New Yorkers

Germany will evidently soon send the US a reply to Wilson’s note asking it to spell out its peace terms.

Or it might be something else entirely.

Headline of the Day -100:

Including $361 for toys. This is the accounting by his mother for his trust fund, left after his father died when the Titanic sank. 

The captain of a British civilian freighter Clan Robertson receives a £1,000 reward for sinking a u-boat in the Bay of Biscay a few months ago. The reward was offered by a shipowner for every u-boat sunk by a non-military ship. The German case for treating all British ships as military vessels is looking rather more plausible.

In Britain the Speaker’s Conference, a group formed to discuss changes to the electoral laws chiefly to ensure soldiers aren’t disenfranchised, but which is now considering all aspects, including proportional representation, decides that women should get some sort of parliamentary vote but with a minimum age so that the recently depleted ranks of British manhood aren’t outnumbered by women in the electorate. They’re thinking 30 or 35. Sylvia Pankhurst protests that “Women mature, if anything, earlier than men.”

The sculptor Auguste Rodin, 76, marries. The NYT thinks he was married to someone once before, when he was 23, but this is the same woman he’s been living with without benefit of clergy since then. Rose will die in a couple of weeks, Auguste by the end of the year.

“New Yorkers can’t be shamed into joining the army.” Some women, mostly wives of army officers, set up a recruiting tent on 42nd Street, and inspire exactly zero men to join the army.

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Today -100: January 30, 1917: It is not a test of character, of quality, or of personal fitness

Woodrow Wilson vetoes the immigration bill over its literacy test. Congress had altered it since the last time Wilson vetoed it, exempting those fleeing religious persecution. Wilson really hates this, because it requires immigration officials to decide which countries are persecuting people. He says of the literacy test: “It is not a test of character, of quality, or of personal fitness, but would operate in most cases merely as a penalty for lack of opportunity in the country from which the alien seeking admission came.”

The Earl of Cromer, who ran Egypt on behalf of the British both before and after it became a formal colony – or as the NYT puts it –

and then came home to write books about Egypt and fight against women’s suffrage, dies at 75.

Alfredo González Flores, the Costa Rican president who was just deposed in a coup, asks the US to intervene to restore him to power. Won’t happen.

Margaret Sanger’s trial for a speech about birth control is continued so that one of the justices can read her book “What Every Girl Should Know,” so she’s available to attend a meeting at Carnegie Hall after leaving the court, or the “vortex of persecution” as she refers to it. She notes that Theodore Roosevelt keeps telling people to have large families “and he is neither arrested nor molested” while in a single week she received 63 letters from poor women in Oyster Bay (where TR lives) asking for birth control information.

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Can the revival of the rest of the Alien and Sedition Acts be far behind?

By a wacky coincidence, while researching the 1917 portion of this blog this morning, I came across a story about the round-up of suspected German spies during the day after the United States declared war on Germany. It was done without a court order using the president’s powers under the Alien Enemy Act of 1798, which authorized him to imprison males 14 years and older from countries with which the US is at war. As I was reading this, I suddenly realized that that was one of the Alien and Sedition Acts, which you might remember from AP American History. The others were repealed, but not the Alien Enemy Act, which FDR used to intern Japanese-Americans. It’s still the law of the land and available for Trump to use. Fortunately, there does have to be a declared war.

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Today -100: January 29, 1917: Of withdrawals, force-feedings, assassins, banned bloomers, and monkey murders

Gen. Pershing’s men are withdrawing from Mexico. Mostly on foot because they can’t use the trains without risking an attack from Pancho Villa’s bands, so not exactly returning covered in glory.

Ethel Byrne’s force-feeding meals will consist of eggs, milk and brandy. I don’t recall the British authorities trying to get suffragette hunger-strikers drunk. The Correction Commissioner Lewis says “Forcible feeding is nothing to cause so much comment.”

A military coup in Costa Rica deposes Pres. Alfredo González Flores. He’d been trying for a second term. Presidents aren’t allowed second terms, but his argument is that that doesn’t count in his case because he was selected by Congress rather than by a popular presidential vote (which is what happens under the constitution when no one wins a majority).

In Russia, the Black Hundred terrorists planned to assassinate Constitutional Democratic Party leader Pavel Milyukov. At any rate according to a man who says he was chosen to do the deed but published a confession instead.

Headline of the Day -100:

Headline of the Day -100:  

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Today -100: January 28, 1917: We say it’s a long, long way to starvation

Ethel Byrne is force-fed in prison. There has been no regurgitation, which we know because the prison is telling the press an awful lot about Byrne’s medical condition. This is the first force-feeding of a female political prisoner in the United States. There will be more. Soon.

The British Navy declares part of the North Sea dangerous to shipping (i.e., they’re planning to mine the shit out of it) and off-limits, in what is totally a safety measure and not at all a tightening of the blockade on Germany.

German Food Dictator Adolf Tortilowicz von Batocki-Friebe says there is no starvation in Germany nor can there be. Hell, he tells an American reporter, there is less starvation in Germany than in US cities. He admits that there aren’t many potatoes around, but says there are plenty of turnips. “The English say it’s a long, long way to Tipperary; we say it’s a long, long way to starvation.” To the sweetest gal I know.

The Arizona Supreme Court decides that Thomas Campbell rather than George Hunt is the governor. Four weeks of dueling governors is over.

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Today -100: January 27, 1917: Of Columbian islands, seas, private dicks, and 25¢ menus

People have been suggesting in letters to the NYT possible new names for the Danish West Indies. Today, “The Columbian Islands” is offered.

Russia endorses Wilson’s peace ideas, especially giving every nation access to the seas (Russia has, after all, been trying to seize the Dardanelles Strait from Turkey).

Although private detective supreme William Burns did uncover German espionage operations by breaking into a law office, it turns out that breaking and entering and making stolen private correspondence public is illegal, and he has been fined $100.

First it was members of the Chicago Board of Health eating for 40¢ a day, then New York cops for 25¢, now Woodrow Wilson is volunteering to try a budget menu – for one day. A Eula McClary of the Life Extension Institute has drawn up the menu:

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There’s plenty of anger right now. How can you have more?

Donald Trump was interviewed by ABC’s David Muir.


A TREMENDOUS MAGNITUDE: 

DAVID MUIR: Let me ask you, has the magnitude of this job hit you yet? 

PRESIDENT TRUMP: It has periodically hit me. And it is a tremendous magnitude. And where you really see it is when you’re talking to the generals about problems in the world. And we do have problems in the world. Big problems. The business also hits because the -- the size of it. The size.

On the Wall (and can I say how much I love that former Mexican President Vicente Fox is using the hashtag #FuckingWall on Twitter): “All it is, is we’ll be reimbursed at a later date from whatever transaction we make from Mexico.” It’s that clarity and precision of language that has served him so well in business.

HE HAS A BIG HEART LIKE HE HAS BIG HANDS: Says the “dreamers” “shouldn’t be very worried. I do have a big heart. We’re going to take care of everybody. We’re going to have a very strong border,” but refuses several times to rule out deporting them.

I can’t remember, did George Bush refer to undocumented immigrants as “illegals” the way Trump does? Anyway, Trump says repeatedly that there could have been 3 to 5 million illegal votes cast in 2016 – “There are millions of votes, in my opinion.” Muir fails to ask what evidence he’s basing this on. Or indeed, how he penetrated the secret ballot to ascertain this: “I will say this, of those votes cast, none of ‘em come to me. None of ‘em come to me. They would all be for the other side.” Boy, the ability of the Democratic Party to manufacture millions and millions of illegal votes without leaving any material evidence beyond “my opinion” that Trump can point to, all while losing the election, they must be the greatest organizational geniuses and the greatest incompetents simultaneously, and we know only one of those two things is true of them.

On his threat against Chicago – and Muir once again failed to ask for specifics, like which “feds” Trump wants to send in – “Maybe they’re not gonna have to be so politically correct. Maybe they’re being overly political correct. Maybe there’s something going on.” Boy, that “something going on” Trump likes to talk about is always so mysterious. “You can’t have thousands of people being shot in a city, in a country that I happen to be president of. Maybe it’s okay if somebody else is president.” Um, what? “I want them to fix the problem. They have a problem that’s very easily fixable.” It’s the thick-crust pizza, isn’t it?

He says incoming Director of Central Intelligence Mike Pompeo is “somebody fabulous as opposed to the character that just got out who didn’t – was not fabulous at all.” I don’t know if the CIA can cope with all that fabulousness.

Muir asked him about torture and Trump said that he wouldn’t bring it back because Mad Dog Matthis doesn’t like it, even though unnamed “people at the highest level of intelligence” tell him torture totally does work. Unfortunately, Muir never asks him if waterboarding is torture. “You never saw heads chopped off until a few years ago. Now they chop ‘em off and they put ‘em on camera and they send ‘em all over the world. So we have that and we’re not allowed to do anything.” Jesus, don’t sound so fucking jealous.

“I will say this, I will rely on Pompeo and Mattis and my group. And if they don’t wanna do, that’s fine. If they do wanna do, then I will work for that end.” It’s nice to have a president who takes firm moral stands, isn’t it?

Will the ban on immigration anger Muslims throughout the world? “There’s plenty of anger right now. How can you have more?” That’s what we said about you, but there it is, every day.

On “taking” Iraq’s oil: “And if we took the oil you wouldn’t have ISIS. And we would have had wealth.” So it is actual looting for own enrichment that he’s advocating. As for his comment in Langley that maybe we’d have another chance, well, he never talks about military plans in advance. Something to look forward to, Iraq (a country he says has no government).

“It’s been our longest war. We’ve been in there for 15, 16 years. Nobody even knows what the date is because they don’t really know when did we start.” Yup, truly one of the great unknowables.

On replacing Obamacare: “We will unleash something that’s gonna be terrific.” Or a kraken. Probably a kraken.

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Today -100: January 26, 1917: A unity in war such as never existed before

Ethel Byrne, Margaret Sanger’s sister, is indeed hunger-striking in the workhouse to which she was sentenced for 30 days for disseminating birth control literature. She is also thirst-striking, but she has relented on her refusal to wash.

British Prime Minister Lloyd George invites the heads of the Dominions (Australia, New Zealand, Canada, South Africa) to join in an Empire War Council to deal with matters of war and then with the  peace negotiations. He hints at a more permanent change in the imperial structures. “The peoples of the empire will have found a unity in war such as never existed before”. The Empire that kills together chills together.

Sen. William Borah (R-Idaho) introduces a resolution opposing Wilson’s peace overtures, reaffirming the Monroe Doctrine and nonintermeddling (is that a real word? the Times uses it) in European affairs.

Japan’s Emperor Yoshihito dissolves the Diet, which was threatening a vote of no confidence against Terauchi Masatake’s government. An assassination attempt is made on opposition leader (and former minister of justice and mayor of Tokyo) Yukio Ozaki by two guys with swords, because Japan.

The US objects to changes Carranza wants to make in the Mexican constitution relating to land ownership by foreigners, the ability of the government to expel foreigners, exemptions of concessions from taxation, etc.

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Today -100: January 25, 1917: So that’s something to look forward to

Irish types in the US have been trying to prevent the showing of the movie Whom the Gods Destroy, which depicts the Easter Rising from a pro-British viewpoint (the Roger Casement figure is pardoned by the king rather than, you know, not). The Vitagraph Company is not best pleased.

In the Cooper Union, Leon Trotsky (speaking in Russian), says “The Socialist revolution is coming in Europe.”

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Today -100: January 24, 1917: Of withdrawals, national self-determination, and women’s suffrage

The US government finally admits that it is withdrawing Pershing’s punitive force from Mexico, having failed to punish Villa.

Wilson’s support for national self-determination, fuzzy as it is, is prompting various ethnic groups to make their claims heard. A couple of days ago it was Poles in the US asking Wilson to recognize the Polish puppet regime. Now it’s Bohemians (Czechs) asking him to support Bohemian independence. Tomorrow it will be the Irish.

The governor of North Dakota signs women’s suffrage into law. Women can now vote for president and some municipal and county officials, but not for police magistrates, Congress or the state Legislature.

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Today -100: January 23, 1917: Peace without victory

Woodrow Wilson makes a surprise speech to the Senate (text). He talks about the need for the US to join a league to enforce the peace after the European war – “It is inconceivable that the people of the United States should play no part in that great enterprise.” However, while he admits the US will have no role in peace negotiations, he does have some conditions before the US can join the League he’s advocating.

He proposes a world in which there are no alliances like those of the Entente and the Central Powers, but rather the adoption of the Monroe Doctrine “as the doctrine of the world,” whatever that means. He says that peace terms based on the victory of one side will not lead to a lasting peace (this speech is known as the Peace without Victory speech) because “it would be accepted in humiliation, under duress, at an intolerable sacrifice, and would leave a sting, a resentment, a bitter memory, upon which terms of peace would rest, not permanently, but only as upon quicksand. Only a peace between equals can last. Only a peace the very principle of which is equality and a common participation in a common benefit.” He has some ideas about what that peace would look like: Poland must be autonomous, full freedom of the seas for every nation, etc.

Why is he addressing the Senate? He’s not expecting any concrete action from Congress, he just needed a forum, and neither side of the war seemed that interested in receiving any more of his little notes. No president has appeared before the Senate to make a policy statement like this since George Washington, who did it once (and was so annoyed that they dared to ask him questions that he never returned).

Theodore Roosevelt, not surprisingly, prefers peace with victory to peace without victory.

Margaret Sanger’s sister Ethel Byrne is sentenced to 30 days in the workhouse for giving out birth control literature. She plans to hunger strike.

Franz Bopp, the former German consul in San Francisco, is sentenced to 2 years in prison and a $10,000 fine for plotting to blow up ships and munitions factories. Also sentenced to prison are the former vice-consul Baron E.H. von Schack, Lt. Wilhelm von Brincken and other assorted spies and saboteurs. They were released in 1920.

Interestingly, Von Brincken stayed in the US after his release from Alcatraz and went on to an acting career in Hollywood, because why not. In the sound period he appeared as German baddies in a lot of war/spy movies. His last IMDB credit is “The Hitler Gang” (1944).

Headline of the Day -100:

Georgia harness-racing stewards, not Of The Apocalypse.

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Today -100: January 22, 1917: The Wrongdoers’ League

Margaret Sanger gives a speech at the Institute Hall in Paterson, NJ. She doesn’t give birth control information, because the cops are taking notes, but says that in 1916 there were 250,000 ignorant and dangerous attempts to avoid family increases in the US, resulting in 50,000 deaths.

Theodore Roosevelt objects to the very idea of a League to Enforce Peace (which is supported by William Howard Taft) since forcing both sides in a dispute to arbitrate rather than go to war would be unfair to the wronged nation. Therefore “It is a league in the interest of the wrongdoers”.

The National Board of Review bans nude figures from films, even artistic ones.

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Today -100: January 21, 1917: Because who doesn’t like lions?

Tsar Nicholas postpones the convening of the Duma, which is likely to come into conflict with his government.

The US Army announces that 15,000 to 20,000 national guards will be withdrawn from the Mexican border.

Theodore Roosevelt’s uncle S.M. Roosevelt holds a dinner party at which roast lion cub is served.

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We will shine for everyone to follow

Today Trump delivered the first speech of the Failed Trump Administration.

I WASN’T AWARE IT HAD BEEN UNBUILT... DEBUILDED? “We, the citizens of America, are now joined in a great national effort to rebuild our country”.

OH GOOD, HE HASN’T HEARD ABOUT RE-ELECTIONS. NOBODY TELL HIM. “Every four years, we gather on these steps to carry out the orderly and peaceful transfer of power”.

VERY SPECIAL MEANING: “Today’s ceremony, however, has very special meaning because today, we are not merely transferring power from one administration to another or from one party to another, but we are transferring power from Washington, D.C., and giving it back to you, the people.” Has no one told him he IS Washington DC now? Because this could be a loophole. “Sorry, Mr. Trump, you can’t do that because the people have that power now.” “Which people?” “Oh, you know, the people.”

YOU BROKE IT, YOU BOUGHT IT: “That all changes starting right here and right now because this moment is your moment, it belongs to you.”

SOMEHOW, I DON’T THINK THIS IS ACTUALLY WHAT JANUARY 20TH, 2017 WILL BE REMEMBERED FOR: “January 20th, 2017, will be remembered as the day the people became the rulers of this nation again.” This isn’t just rhetoric, it’s an attack on previous governments as lacking democratic legitimacy, but which ones? What was the date when they stopped being the rulers of this nation? Be specific.

THE TWITTER EGGS? “The forgotten men and women of our country will be forgotten no longer.”

OH, I THINK IT HAS. “You came by the tens of millions to become part of a historic movement, the likes of which the world has never seen before.” Tens of millions, but still 3 million less than...

THERE HE GOES WITH THE “INNER CITIES” AGAIN: “But for too many of our citizens, a different reality exists: mothers and children trapped in poverty in our inner cities”.

FLUSH WITH CASH: “an education system flush with cash, but which leaves our young and beautiful students deprived of all knowledge”. And that’s just Trump University.

AMERICAN CARNAGE: “and the crime and the gangs and the drugs that have stolen too many lives and robbed our country of so much unrealized potential. This American carnage stops right here and stops right now.” Well, it is a Friday.

“We are one nation and their pain is our pain. Their dreams are our dreams. And their success will be our success.” It’s a sign of poor editing that nobody noticed they removed the bit saying who the they are that those “their”s refer to.

WELL IT’S OUR FAULT FOR BUILDING AMPHIBIOUS FACTORIES IN THE FIRST PLACE: “One by one, the factories shuttered and left our shores”.

ONLY AMERICA FIRST: “We assembled here today are issuing a new decree to be heard in every city, in every foreign capital, and in every hall of power. From this day forward, a new vision will govern our land. From this day forward, it’s going to be only America first, America first.”

“America will start winning again, winning like never before.”

WHERE DID OUR BORDERS GO? CHINA? IT’S CHINA, ISN’T IT? “We will bring back our jobs. We will bring back our borders. We will bring back our wealth. And we will bring back our dreams.” The Chinese got those too, didn’t they?

There’s something so obnoxiously entitled about the use of “our” in that paragraph, isn’t there?

AND I THINK WE KNOW WHICH AMERICANS WILL BE BOUGHT AND WHICH AMERICANS WILL BE HIRED. “We will follow two simple rules; buy American and hire American.”

SHINY: “We do not seek to impose our way of life on anyone, but rather to let it shine as an example. We will shine for everyone to follow.”

HEY, FOLKS, IT’S THE 21st CENTURY AND WE’RE STILL TALKING ABOUT THE “CIVILIZED” WORLD: “We will reinforce old alliances and form new ones and unite the civilized world against radical Islamic terrorism, which we will eradicate from the face of the Earth.”

GOD’S PEOPLE: “The bible tells us how good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity.”

SO THIS IS ALSO YOUR RESIGNATION SPEECH? “We will no longer accept politicians who are all talk and no action, constantly complaining, but never doing anything about it.”

“A new national pride will stir ourselves, lift our sights and heal our divisions.” A new national pride will stir ourselves? That’s just really bad writing.

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