Friday, January 20, 2017

We will shine for everyone to follow

Today Trump delivered the first speech of the Failed Trump Administration.

I WASN’T AWARE IT HAD BEEN UNBUILT... DEBUILDED? “We, the citizens of America, are now joined in a great national effort to rebuild our country”.

OH GOOD, HE HASN’T HEARD ABOUT RE-ELECTIONS. NOBODY TELL HIM. “Every four years, we gather on these steps to carry out the orderly and peaceful transfer of power”.

VERY SPECIAL MEANING: “Today’s ceremony, however, has very special meaning because today, we are not merely transferring power from one administration to another or from one party to another, but we are transferring power from Washington, D.C., and giving it back to you, the people.” Has no one told him he IS Washington DC now? Because this could be a loophole. “Sorry, Mr. Trump, you can’t do that because the people have that power now.” “Which people?” “Oh, you know, the people.”

YOU BROKE IT, YOU BOUGHT IT: “That all changes starting right here and right now because this moment is your moment, it belongs to you.”

SOMEHOW, I DON’T THINK THIS IS ACTUALLY WHAT JANUARY 20TH, 2017 WILL BE REMEMBERED FOR: “January 20th, 2017, will be remembered as the day the people became the rulers of this nation again.” This isn’t just rhetoric, it’s an attack on previous governments as lacking democratic legitimacy, but which ones? What was the date when they stopped being the rulers of this nation? Be specific.

THE TWITTER EGGS? “The forgotten men and women of our country will be forgotten no longer.”

OH, I THINK IT HAS. “You came by the tens of millions to become part of a historic movement, the likes of which the world has never seen before.” Tens of millions, but still 3 million less than...

THERE HE GOES WITH THE “INNER CITIES” AGAIN: “But for too many of our citizens, a different reality exists: mothers and children trapped in poverty in our inner cities”.

FLUSH WITH CASH: “an education system flush with cash, but which leaves our young and beautiful students deprived of all knowledge”. And that’s just Trump University.

AMERICAN CARNAGE: “and the crime and the gangs and the drugs that have stolen too many lives and robbed our country of so much unrealized potential. This American carnage stops right here and stops right now.” Well, it is a Friday.

“We are one nation and their pain is our pain. Their dreams are our dreams. And their success will be our success.” It’s a sign of poor editing that nobody noticed they removed the bit saying who the they are that those “their”s refer to.

WELL IT’S OUR FAULT FOR BUILDING AMPHIBIOUS FACTORIES IN THE FIRST PLACE: “One by one, the factories shuttered and left our shores”.

ONLY AMERICA FIRST: “We assembled here today are issuing a new decree to be heard in every city, in every foreign capital, and in every hall of power. From this day forward, a new vision will govern our land. From this day forward, it’s going to be only America first, America first.”

“America will start winning again, winning like never before.”

WHERE DID OUR BORDERS GO? CHINA? IT’S CHINA, ISN’T IT? “We will bring back our jobs. We will bring back our borders. We will bring back our wealth. And we will bring back our dreams.” The Chinese got those too, didn’t they?

There’s something so obnoxiously entitled about the use of “our” in that paragraph, isn’t there?

AND I THINK WE KNOW WHICH AMERICANS WILL BE BOUGHT AND WHICH AMERICANS WILL BE HIRED. “We will follow two simple rules; buy American and hire American.”

SHINY: “We do not seek to impose our way of life on anyone, but rather to let it shine as an example. We will shine for everyone to follow.”

HEY, FOLKS, IT’S THE 21st CENTURY AND WE’RE STILL TALKING ABOUT THE “CIVILIZED” WORLD: “We will reinforce old alliances and form new ones and unite the civilized world against radical Islamic terrorism, which we will eradicate from the face of the Earth.”

GOD’S PEOPLE: “The bible tells us how good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity.”

SO THIS IS ALSO YOUR RESIGNATION SPEECH? “We will no longer accept politicians who are all talk and no action, constantly complaining, but never doing anything about it.”

“A new national pride will stir ourselves, lift our sights and heal our divisions.” A new national pride will stir ourselves? That’s just really bad writing.

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  1. Oh joy! A deconstructed speech! Nobody does it better than you, WIIIAI. You have a knack -- and, this, an Inaugural Address, no less (delivered by a poopyhead, but nevermind).

    I expect you to continue to be on your game, since there will be many speech opportunities in the next four years -- or fewer, if he gets bored or overstressed or sick or impeached.

  2. Thanks. I thought I was kind of off my game, at least compared to the glory years of Bush, but yeah there'll be (sigh) opportunities to get it back.