Sunday, October 19, 2008

A lot of strange things going on in this campaign

This morning John McCain was interviewed on Fox by Chris Wallace.

WHAT JOHN SENSES: “I’ve been in too many campaigns, my friend, not to — not to sense that things are headed our way.”

Much of the interview seemed to be a preview of his excuses for losing the election, with many dark insinuations about scandalous money-raising practices by Obama. “$200 million that — that we don’t know where the money came from — a lot of strange things going on in this campaign.” Let me help: it comes from contributions under $200, too small to trigger the legal requirement for reporting. Perhaps if you’re a Republican, following campaign laws seems like a “strange thing.” He brought up Watergate a lot: the flood of contributions to Obama are, he said, “completely breaking whatever idea we had after Watergate to keep the costs and spending on campaigns under control — first time, first time since the Watergate scandal.” Yes, this is just exactly like Watergate, except for the burglary and breaking the law part.

Just like Watergate, it will create a scandal: “And I can tell you this, that has unleashed now in presidential campaigns a new flood of spending that will then cause a scandal, and then we will fix it again.” Er, what exactly is this scandal of which you speak, John? “The dam is broken. We’re now going to see huge amounts of money coming into political campaigns, and we know history tells us that always leads to scandal.” So a hypothetical future scandal.

LEAST BELIEVABLE LIE YET: “But what I worry about is future elections, too, not only mine.”

He said his robocalls linking Obama and terrorism are “legitimate and truthful.”

MEET JOE THE PLUMBER: “And Joe the Plumber — of course, Joe the Plumber is the average citizen, and Joe the Plumber is now speaking for me and small business people all over America.”

GET TO WORK ON THAT, JOE THE PLUMBER: “redistribution of the wealth? I don’t believe in it. I believe in wealth creation by Joe the Plumber.”

The bailout of the financial sector, however, just isn’t the same thing as the socialism or redistribution of wealth McCain is decrying: “That is reacting to a crisis that’s due to greed and excess in Washington.” So that’s okay, then.

WHAT SARAH PALIN IS: “She is a direct counterpoint to the liberal feminist agenda for America.” Sadly, he did not elaborate.

SARAH PALIN IS A FLOOR WAX AND A DESSERT TOPPING! “She’s a reformer. She’s a conservative.”

MR. HAPPY IS AROUSED: “And when I see the enthusiasm and I see the passion that she has aroused, I am so happy.”

WHAT AMERICANS ARE BEGINNING TO LEARN ABOUT SARAH PALIN: “And the fact is Americans are also beginning to learn that she ran a state.”

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