Thursday, October 11, 2012

The vice presidential debate: With all due respect, that’s a bunch of malarkey

Well that was a torrent of words, wasn’t it?

The vice presidential debate took place at Centre College (Mascot: The Praying Colonel) in Danville, Kentucky (elevation 984 ft.).


If someone grabbed my arm like Biden & Ryan grabbed each other’s arms, it would take everything I had not to squirm and try to get away from them.

COSTCO WAS ALL OUT: Ryan: “We don’t have a status of forces agreement [in Iraq] because they failed to get one.”

Ryan came with a couple of catch-phrases he tried to insert whenever he could: “the unraveling of the Obama policy” and something about Obama saying in 2008 that if you don’t have a good record to run on, you paint your opponent as someone to run from. Or, as the American people recognize it, every election campaign ever.

YOU JUST DON’T HEAR THE WORD MALARKEY NEARLY OFTEN ENOUGH THESE DAYS: Biden on Ryan’s claims about “devastating defence cuts” as “With all due respect, that’s a bunch of malarkey.”

Talking about Iran, both are referring to “the ayatollah.”

Ryan says the only reason there are sanctions on Iran is over the opposition of the Obama administration.

I’VE MADE A FORTUNE OFF HIM AT POKER: Biden: “And we’ve made it clear, big nations can’t bluff. This president doesn’t bluff.”

UM, THAT WAS GEORGE ROMNEY: Ryan: “He talks about Detroit. Mitt Romney’s a car guy.”

IF YOU COUNT TAXES AS CHARITY: Ryan on Romney: “This is a man who gave 30 percent of his income to charity.”

OR OUT OF YOUR ASS: Ryan: “And with respect to that quote [the 47%], I think the vice president very well knows that sometimes the words don’t come out of your mouth the right way.”

HAS HE EVER MET ANY DEMOCRATS? Ryan: “Let’s not forget that they came in with one-party control. When Barack Obama was elected, his party controlled everything. They had the ability to do everything of their choosing.”

Ryan accuses Biden of giving $90 billion in stimulus money for “green pork.” Do not eat the green pork.

Ryan brings up death panels. Biden says it’s Sarah Palin all over again. Ouch.

Martha Raddatz asks Ryan if he actually knows what tax loopholes he intends to close (by the way, when did health care and mortgage deductions become “loopholes”?). Ryan says “Different than this administration, we actually want to have big bipartisan agreements. ... We want to work with Congress - we want to work with the Congress on how best to achieve this.” I just realized for the first time that his plan is to try to make the Democrats propose which deductions they’d close to pay for the Republican tax cut. And knowing the Democrats, that’d probably work too.

I KNEW LLOYD BENTSEN... RYAN: Jack Kennedy lowered tax rates, increased growth. Ronald Reagan. BIDEN: Oh, now you’re Jack Kennedy?

I’m not sure “mostly without incident” is how Biden should have referred to all the incidents of Afghan soldiers killing American soldiers.

Ryan explains the concept of “the fighting season” in Afghanistan: “Spring, summer, fall. It’s warm, or it’s not. They’re still fighting us.”

On Syria, Ryan keeps saying he wouldn’t have referred to Assad as a reformer. And that he wouldn’t let the UN or Putin stop us... invading Syria, I guess.

Raddatz presses Ryan on whether he’d ever support an intervention on humanitarian grounds. Ryan runs hard from the word.

Asked about their shared Catholicism, Ryan says “I don’t see how a person can separate their public life from their private life or from their faith.” Great, go run for office in a country populated entirely by devout Catholics.

Ah, Biden makes the same point: “Life begins at conception in the church’s judgment. I accept it in my personal life. But I refuse to impose it on equally devout Christians and Muslims and Jews, and I just refuse to impose that on others, unlike my friend here.”

Ryan says he’s pro-life not just because of Jeebus and the pope, “it’s also because of reason and science.”

And he calls his daughter Bean because her fetus was bean-shaped.

He does know that Bean Ryan has to go to school tomorrow, right?

Ryan never seems slighter as a candidate than when he’s reciting the phrases he memorized like: “And then I would say, you have a president who ran for president four years ago promising hope and change, who has now turned his campaign into attack, blame and defame.”

Did you know Paul Ryan “passed two budgets”?

Now Ryan’s accusing Obama of refusing to show us his plan for deficit reduction. Maybe Obama just wants to “work with Congress.”

WOULDN’T IT BE NICE? Ryan: “At a time when we have a jobs crisis in America, wouldn’t it be nice to have a job-creator in the White House?”

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