Stephen Hawking's new theory says that something called inflation occurred before the beginning of the universe and that the universe will expand forever. He is wrong. What, who are you going to believe, me or some guy in a wheel chair?
The British government is threatening to eliminate the extra fee police officers earn by searching a dead body (£25, or 17 each if there are more than one).
Saddam Hussein: he starts a war, his popularity goes up, he loses a war, his popularity goes up, he averts a war, his popularity goes up, he gets a blow job from an intern, his popularity goes up....
Sunday, February 22, 1998
Arrogant quote of the week, from Madeleine Albright: "If we have to use force, it is because we are America. We are the indispensable nation. We stand tall. We see further into the future."
Correction of the week, from the Washington Post:
[39]CLARIFICATION
An article yesterday on variations in Paula Jones's account of alleged sexual harassment by President Clinton stated that her lawyers filed an amended complaint in December, a month after her deposition, to charge that Clinton tried to touch her "pelvic area." Jones's lawyer said yesterday that the first public reference to the "pelvic area" allegation appeared in an earlier document, filed in court on Oct. 27.
Correction of the week, from the Washington Post:
[39]CLARIFICATION
An article yesterday on variations in Paula Jones's account of alleged sexual harassment by President Clinton stated that her lawyers filed an amended complaint in December, a month after her deposition, to charge that Clinton tried to touch her "pelvic area." Jones's lawyer said yesterday that the first public reference to the "pelvic area" allegation appeared in an earlier document, filed in court on Oct. 27.
Saturday, February 21, 1998
The CDC have stopped those obnoxious placebo tests of AIDS transmission by pregnant women that I railed against a few months ago.
Chris Patten, the last governor of Hong Kong, is writing a new book, unfortunately for HarperCollins, which is owned by Rupert Murdoch, who is very interested in sucking up to the Chinese and so has ordered the book be toned down. I did not read about this in the London Times.
Austria is to change its marriage laws to require the husband to do half the washing up. As absurd as most Austrians find this, they have said nothing for 60 years about the law that allows divorce by men on the grounds of the wife refusing to cook or to clean.
So why does the US have no credibility over Iraq? Well, there's of course the Wag the Dog phenomenon (a movie recently shown on Iraqi tv, which is a serious miscalculation; as China knows, we don't care about human rights but the theft of intellectual property is another matter entirely). In the Middle East, it's the refusal to confront Israel about anything, although Israel like Iraq is in violation of numerous Security Council resolutions and has weapons of mass destruction (WMD in killer-wonk speak). But I think for the rest of the world a serious obstacle to American credibility is our continued attitude towards Cuba. As in Iraq, the US is here trying to foist its foreign policy on the rest of the world, and more to the point, it underlines Hussein's point that there is nothing Iraq can do that will get the sanctions removed. 40 years of petty vindictiveness with no end in sight.
Chris Patten, the last governor of Hong Kong, is writing a new book, unfortunately for HarperCollins, which is owned by Rupert Murdoch, who is very interested in sucking up to the Chinese and so has ordered the book be toned down. I did not read about this in the London Times.
Austria is to change its marriage laws to require the husband to do half the washing up. As absurd as most Austrians find this, they have said nothing for 60 years about the law that allows divorce by men on the grounds of the wife refusing to cook or to clean.
So why does the US have no credibility over Iraq? Well, there's of course the Wag the Dog phenomenon (a movie recently shown on Iraqi tv, which is a serious miscalculation; as China knows, we don't care about human rights but the theft of intellectual property is another matter entirely). In the Middle East, it's the refusal to confront Israel about anything, although Israel like Iraq is in violation of numerous Security Council resolutions and has weapons of mass destruction (WMD in killer-wonk speak). But I think for the rest of the world a serious obstacle to American credibility is our continued attitude towards Cuba. As in Iraq, the US is here trying to foist its foreign policy on the rest of the world, and more to the point, it underlines Hussein's point that there is nothing Iraq can do that will get the sanctions removed. 40 years of petty vindictiveness with no end in sight.
Friday, February 20, 1998
That damn machine again
From a New York magazine competition (8/4/97) for outgoing answering messages:
[NOTE: More New York Magazine competitions here.]
"Hello. This is Bob Dole. Bob Dole is not here right now..."
"This is Martha Stewart. While you are on hold, why not spray-paint your phone? First, put masking tape..."
The Roadrunner: "Beep beep"
Harry Houdini: "I'm all tied up right now..."
The Marquis de Sade: "I'm all tied up right now..."
"Hello, this is Jerry Seinfeld. Did you ever wonder why everyone has to say hello?....."
"Hi, this is Gary Karsparov. I could have taken your call, but the machine beat me to it."
"Paul McCartney here. daed ton m'I."
"You've reached the home of Erwin Schrodinger. I'm both in and not in at the moment..."
"You have reached the offices of Dr. Jekyll. Thank you for your patience during our transition."
"You have reached Weight Watchers. If this is an emergency, press the pound sign now."
[NOTE: More New York Magazine competitions here.]
Thursday, February 19, 1998
With the War of Clinton's Penis tentatively scheduled in for the end of the month (let's see, it has to be after the Olympics, during a full moon, or was that no moon, and before the haj season. Have your people call my people.), no one seems to have noticed that Turkey invaded Iraq for the 87th time or whatever it is, a week or two ago, with the intention of making sure there are no Kurdish refugees, at least none that will live to tell the tale. The US has been remarkably quiet about the Kurds this time.
With all the hypocritical stories about the Russian 1995 deal (which may not even have gone anywhere) to help build the Iraqi chemical weapons industry (hypocritical because all the initial aid to Iraq in this department came from the US & Britain; the US sold Iraq its starter set of anthrax and botulism, some of it after the gassing of the Kurds in 1988) (Britain was also the first country to use chemical weapons on Iraq, yonks ago, ordered by Winston Churchill).
The US Senate passed a law allowing the president to refuse inspection of our chemical facilities in the name of national security.
Iraq is getting to be like the Monica story, where there are bits of rumor that you hear once and then never again, but are never quite sure whether that means they were wrong or that the media got bored. For example, did Iraq send all its bio weapons scientists into hiding in Libya? Is it true that Iraq offered bounties for killing UN & other foreign relief workers assisting the Kurds?
Pop quiz: which US president renounced research into biological weapons?
Answer at the end of this message.
A letter to the NY Times points out that in his press conference of Feb. 6, Clinton said that we will use force against Iraq, but said about Northern Ireland that "Nothing worth having can be accomplished through violence."
The LA Times Wednesday notes that the Senate (Republican) report on Clinton fund-raising talks about, but fails to prove, Chinese attempts to influence the 1996 election, but neglects to mention Taiwan. John Huang and Charlie Trie are both from Taiwan, and the famed Buddhist temple is also linked there. When all else failed, the Republicans referred to "Greater China" so that the Reds would take the fall for Taiwan's actions.
Answer: Nixon.
With all the hypocritical stories about the Russian 1995 deal (which may not even have gone anywhere) to help build the Iraqi chemical weapons industry (hypocritical because all the initial aid to Iraq in this department came from the US & Britain; the US sold Iraq its starter set of anthrax and botulism, some of it after the gassing of the Kurds in 1988) (Britain was also the first country to use chemical weapons on Iraq, yonks ago, ordered by Winston Churchill).
The US Senate passed a law allowing the president to refuse inspection of our chemical facilities in the name of national security.
Iraq is getting to be like the Monica story, where there are bits of rumor that you hear once and then never again, but are never quite sure whether that means they were wrong or that the media got bored. For example, did Iraq send all its bio weapons scientists into hiding in Libya? Is it true that Iraq offered bounties for killing UN & other foreign relief workers assisting the Kurds?
Pop quiz: which US president renounced research into biological weapons?
Answer at the end of this message.
A letter to the NY Times points out that in his press conference of Feb. 6, Clinton said that we will use force against Iraq, but said about Northern Ireland that "Nothing worth having can be accomplished through violence."
The LA Times Wednesday notes that the Senate (Republican) report on Clinton fund-raising talks about, but fails to prove, Chinese attempts to influence the 1996 election, but neglects to mention Taiwan. John Huang and Charlie Trie are both from Taiwan, and the famed Buddhist temple is also linked there. When all else failed, the Republicans referred to "Greater China" so that the Reds would take the fall for Taiwan's actions.
Answer: Nixon.
Friday, February 06, 1998
The LA school district police want to be allowed to carry shotguns in their patrol cars. "Hey, kid: SPIT OUT THAT GUM!"
Clinton admin says its authority to blow the shit out of Iraq derives from the resolution passed in 1991 before the War to Make the World Safe for Feudalism. Um, we did repeal the Gulf of Tonkin Resolution, didn't we? I'd have to check, but I'm pretty sure that using this sort of standard would allow us to resume hostilities with Germany. We declared war in 1941, but I don't remember a peace treaty....
I performed a little gotcha on the Washington Post. If you check out the "Today's Paper" section of today's Slate (which you should each and every one of you have them send you by e-mail, by the way), you will see a mention of a fuck-up in yesterday's Post, which I brought to the attention of the Slate writer. An article on Zimbabwe was titled "Winter of Discontent". Zimbabwe is of course in the southern hemisphere so it is summer and the toilet bowl water revolves in the opposite direction from whichever direction it revolves here.
Clinton admin says its authority to blow the shit out of Iraq derives from the resolution passed in 1991 before the War to Make the World Safe for Feudalism. Um, we did repeal the Gulf of Tonkin Resolution, didn't we? I'd have to check, but I'm pretty sure that using this sort of standard would allow us to resume hostilities with Germany. We declared war in 1941, but I don't remember a peace treaty....
I performed a little gotcha on the Washington Post. If you check out the "Today's Paper" section of today's Slate (which you should each and every one of you have them send you by e-mail, by the way), you will see a mention of a fuck-up in yesterday's Post, which I brought to the attention of the Slate writer. An article on Zimbabwe was titled "Winter of Discontent". Zimbabwe is of course in the southern hemisphere so it is summer and the toilet bowl water revolves in the opposite direction from whichever direction it revolves here.
Wednesday, February 04, 1998
As I speak, there are Congresscritters on tv arguing about renaming National Airport after the Antichrist. They will have to remove all metal detectors, because Reagan thought everyone should have a right to be armed, and air traffic control would be performed by the first ten people who came in off the streets. New slogan: "Mistakes were made."
Yeltsin says that the US could start a world war if it uses force against Iraq. His handlers say this meant if the US uses tactical nukes. And they then say, no that doesn't mean that Russia would retaliate if nukes were used against Iraq. So presumably there would only be a world war if Iraq has nuclear weapons, which is rather the point.
Texas executes at 6 p.m. That means the last meal is served around the time all the old folk are taking advantage of the early bird special at Sizzler.
Nice to see the evangelicals out in force against someone being executed. Of course it's not really because she's a woman. After all, they'd all be happy to see Ellen DeGeneres given the death penalty.
Yeltsin says that the US could start a world war if it uses force against Iraq. His handlers say this meant if the US uses tactical nukes. And they then say, no that doesn't mean that Russia would retaliate if nukes were used against Iraq. So presumably there would only be a world war if Iraq has nuclear weapons, which is rather the point.
Texas executes at 6 p.m. That means the last meal is served around the time all the old folk are taking advantage of the early bird special at Sizzler.
Nice to see the evangelicals out in force against someone being executed. Of course it's not really because she's a woman. After all, they'd all be happy to see Ellen DeGeneres given the death penalty.
Friday, January 30, 1998
Republicans, pissed that Clinton is still popular, going on offensive, including William Bennett, the brother of Clinton's lawyer.
Deja vu all over again: Iraq to use UN officials as human shields, ordering them into Baghdad hotels. Also, Pentagon touting its new smart bombs.
There is a campaign afoot in Britain to get a pardon for Helen Duncan, the last convicted witch. In 1941 at a seance she revealed the sinking of a ship that the government had covered up. She got 9 months, fortunately being sentenced under the 1735 Act which liberalized the law of witchcraft. The last execution was in 1712. The pardon campaign is being supported by Mrs Duncan, who died in 1956, although she says it's more important down here than up there.
Assisted suicide in Pennsylvania: Robert Smith executed. In jail for a robbery, he helped kill a man in jail for, and repeatedly bragging about, beating the 2-year old daughter of his girlfriend to death. The suicide part: Smith fired his lawyers and plead guilty, which he conditioned on getting the death sentence. The prosecutor had not asked for it: Smith did. He wanted to sell seats at his execution for $1,000 to benefit the family of his victim's victim; I assume Penn. didn't allow that.
Deja vu all over again: Iraq to use UN officials as human shields, ordering them into Baghdad hotels. Also, Pentagon touting its new smart bombs.
There is a campaign afoot in Britain to get a pardon for Helen Duncan, the last convicted witch. In 1941 at a seance she revealed the sinking of a ship that the government had covered up. She got 9 months, fortunately being sentenced under the 1735 Act which liberalized the law of witchcraft. The last execution was in 1712. The pardon campaign is being supported by Mrs Duncan, who died in 1956, although she says it's more important down here than up there.
Assisted suicide in Pennsylvania: Robert Smith executed. In jail for a robbery, he helped kill a man in jail for, and repeatedly bragging about, beating the 2-year old daughter of his girlfriend to death. The suicide part: Smith fired his lawyers and plead guilty, which he conditioned on getting the death sentence. The prosecutor had not asked for it: Smith did. He wanted to sell seats at his execution for $1,000 to benefit the family of his victim's victim; I assume Penn. didn't allow that.
Thursday, January 29, 1998
The Clinton counterattack is not off to a good start. The Cum-back kid is not well served by his advisers. Dick Morris suggests that Hillary is a lesbian, and an unnamed White House aide tells the Washington Post, and I swear I'm not making this up, "She'd take little things and blow them up."
A new method that may help infertile men involves having his sperm developed inside...mice.
The most interesting bit in that Hillary Clinton interview was not the line about the vast right-wing conspiracy (Rush Limbaugh all by himself is a pretty vast right-wing conspiracy), but when she was asked about gifts Clinton is supposed to have given Ms Lewinsky. She said that it's “possible”. So one week into the scandal, we're expected to believe that she hasn't asked him about some of the basic facts.
Kenneth Starr, who once publicly rejected Clinton's arguments in the Paula Jones case that it should be postponed because the president is too busy to deal with such trivialities, today went to court to get Jones's lawyers to stop subpoeanaing his witnesses. The presidency may not be too important to be interfered with, but the investigation of the president, that's another matter.
A new method that may help infertile men involves having his sperm developed inside...mice.
The most interesting bit in that Hillary Clinton interview was not the line about the vast right-wing conspiracy (Rush Limbaugh all by himself is a pretty vast right-wing conspiracy), but when she was asked about gifts Clinton is supposed to have given Ms Lewinsky. She said that it's “possible”. So one week into the scandal, we're expected to believe that she hasn't asked him about some of the basic facts.
Kenneth Starr, who once publicly rejected Clinton's arguments in the Paula Jones case that it should be postponed because the president is too busy to deal with such trivialities, today went to court to get Jones's lawyers to stop subpoeanaing his witnesses. The presidency may not be too important to be interfered with, but the investigation of the president, that's another matter.
Wednesday, January 28, 1998
The State of the Union address went on too long, in that people (well, me) got bored and started looking for hidden meanings. For example, he said something about people having the chance to get ahead with hard work. When he mentioned after-school programs, I figured it was because he was running out of interns of college age...
Monday, January 26, 1998
There are more INS agents with guns and the power to arrest than there are FBI agents with same.
Line from London Times story: "Middle America is blasé about oral sex." So that's ok, then.
Clinton is responsible for another atrocity: the word penis was spoken in the House of Commons today. Still, in the process, the next bombing of Iraq has been given a name: The War of Clinton's Penis. (For the historically-challenged among you, and you know who you are Kevin, that's a reference to the War of Jenkins’ Ear)
Line from London Times story: "Middle America is blasé about oral sex." So that's ok, then.
Clinton is responsible for another atrocity: the word penis was spoken in the House of Commons today. Still, in the process, the next bombing of Iraq has been given a name: The War of Clinton's Penis. (For the historically-challenged among you, and you know who you are Kevin, that's a reference to the War of Jenkins’ Ear)
Saturday, January 24, 1998
Toy for the boys
All the President's Bimbos: Most loopy line in the New York Times coverage of Zippergate: "It was not known whether the special prosecutor has subpoeoneaed the dress." CNN's coverage today, which mentioned resignation a dozen times before the first commercial, featured a Clinton counsel saying Gee, thanks for the question, Judy, now my kids will ask me what oral sex is when I get home." Arabs think this is all a Jewish ploy to kill the Israeli peace process. So Starr says that Lewinsky was free to go during all those 8 or 9 or 10 hours he detained her, and they even watched a movie on tv (There's No Business Like Show Business) and went out shopping (Crate and Barrel) while waiting for her mommie to arrive. Gee, doesn't that sound a whole lot like they weren't willing to let her out of their sight for a minute? Speaking of mommie, she's evidently famous for a book blowing the lid off the simmering cauldron of corruption that is the Three Tenors, promoting the book by hinting at an affair with Placido--it's a family thing, they just like chubby men.
Germany is now running genetic tests on people who want to immigrate there claiming to have relatives in the country.
Germany is now running genetic tests on people who want to immigrate there claiming to have relatives in the country.
Friday, January 23, 1998
The Swiss Supreme Court orders a motorist to pay a prostitute he ran over for loss of earnings.
The Unabomber's guilty plea includes a provision in which he gives up his right to appeal. Can that be constitutional?
A Florida judge orders a man w/HIV who had sex with a 16-yr old when he was 18, big deal, to get written consent before having sex.
So after all that talk about the pope's visit to Cuba being the Beginning of the End, what the pope really wanted to talk about was abortion and divorce. Who ever thought he was interested in democracy, anyway? They must not have been paying attention the last 20 years.
OK, back to the Clinton sex scandal of the week. Evidently Starr offered Tripp immunity solely on account of her taping Lewinsky illegally. Which is interesting, because he can't just waive Maryland's laws like that. Now just because the tapes were made illegally evidently doesn't mean Starr can't use them, because they weren't illegal under federal law.
So how did the Whitewater (remember that?) prosecutor wind up with control of this investigation as well? Evidently because he was already investigating Vernon Jordan for getting a job for Webster Hubbell, and now Jordan has gotten a job for Lewinsky (at Revlon! At least it wasn't for Paula Jones.). All of which makes Starr sound even more weaselly than Clinton.
The Slate notes the one thing absent in Clinton's semi-denial denial on MacNeil-Lehrer: any sense of outrage, such as an innocent man wrongly accused might have exhibited.
As I understand it, Tripp was previously working on an anti-Clinton book, dropped it, and has spent part of this week negotiating a contract for it. Her literary agent, according to Al Kamen of the Post, is a woman who in 1972 acted as a spy inside the McGovern campaign, where she posed as a reporter, for the RNC for $1,000 a week.
Nightline suggested that the particular weasel words Clinton's been using indicate that what he does with all these women is oral sex (well, has done to him), and that to him, that doesn't count. That's two images in this paragraph that you really didn't need to have in your head.
Saddam Hussein must be laughing his ass off.
What must Arafat have thought as he sat next to Clinton as he answered all those questions?
The Unabomber's guilty plea includes a provision in which he gives up his right to appeal. Can that be constitutional?
A Florida judge orders a man w/HIV who had sex with a 16-yr old when he was 18, big deal, to get written consent before having sex.
So after all that talk about the pope's visit to Cuba being the Beginning of the End, what the pope really wanted to talk about was abortion and divorce. Who ever thought he was interested in democracy, anyway? They must not have been paying attention the last 20 years.
OK, back to the Clinton sex scandal of the week. Evidently Starr offered Tripp immunity solely on account of her taping Lewinsky illegally. Which is interesting, because he can't just waive Maryland's laws like that. Now just because the tapes were made illegally evidently doesn't mean Starr can't use them, because they weren't illegal under federal law.
So how did the Whitewater (remember that?) prosecutor wind up with control of this investigation as well? Evidently because he was already investigating Vernon Jordan for getting a job for Webster Hubbell, and now Jordan has gotten a job for Lewinsky (at Revlon! At least it wasn't for Paula Jones.). All of which makes Starr sound even more weaselly than Clinton.
The Slate notes the one thing absent in Clinton's semi-denial denial on MacNeil-Lehrer: any sense of outrage, such as an innocent man wrongly accused might have exhibited.
As I understand it, Tripp was previously working on an anti-Clinton book, dropped it, and has spent part of this week negotiating a contract for it. Her literary agent, according to Al Kamen of the Post, is a woman who in 1972 acted as a spy inside the McGovern campaign, where she posed as a reporter, for the RNC for $1,000 a week.
Nightline suggested that the particular weasel words Clinton's been using indicate that what he does with all these women is oral sex (well, has done to him), and that to him, that doesn't count. That's two images in this paragraph that you really didn't need to have in your head.
Saddam Hussein must be laughing his ass off.
What must Arafat have thought as he sat next to Clinton as he answered all those questions?
Thursday, January 22, 1998
Bimbo eruptions/ jingle bells?
Billy Bob, Billy Bob, what will we do with you? Well, I have a few questions: 1) I keep hearing that Kenneth Starr offered Ms. Tripp immunity in exchange for wearing the wire, but I can't figure out what she needs immunity for. Anyone?
2) The FBI and Starr seem to me to have cooperated with Paula Jones's lawyers, in that the timing of their activities suggest they were waiting for Clinton and Lewinsky to perjure themselves, sitting on evidence in the meanwhile. Is this the proper role of either of them?
3) If Tripp was talking openly about the last mistress last summer, why was Lewinsky confiding in her more recently?
4) No one's yet asked Clinton about Gennifer Flowers. If it is true that his deposition admitted an affair with her, then he lied to the public about it and has no credibility over Lewinsky.
2) The FBI and Starr seem to me to have cooperated with Paula Jones's lawyers, in that the timing of their activities suggest they were waiting for Clinton and Lewinsky to perjure themselves, sitting on evidence in the meanwhile. Is this the proper role of either of them?
3) If Tripp was talking openly about the last mistress last summer, why was Lewinsky confiding in her more recently?
4) No one's yet asked Clinton about Gennifer Flowers. If it is true that his deposition admitted an affair with her, then he lied to the public about it and has no credibility over Lewinsky.
Wednesday, January 21, 1998
A Grateful Dead museum is planned for San Francisco. Expect to see a sign saying, "You must be this high..." (Will Durst)
In Britain, an obvious solution to a problem: the date-rape drug Rohypnol will no longer be colorless, but turn blue if put if liquid.
The latest Clinton scandal didn't move as fast as I thought it had, according to a piece in the Slate, which shows how the story moved through usenet groups into television without a mention in any of the papers for days, and was in fact killed in some of the weekly news magazines.
In Britain, an obvious solution to a problem: the date-rape drug Rohypnol will no longer be colorless, but turn blue if put if liquid.
The latest Clinton scandal didn't move as fast as I thought it had, according to a piece in the Slate, which shows how the story moved through usenet groups into television without a mention in any of the papers for days, and was in fact killed in some of the weekly news magazines.
Tuesday, January 20, 1998
Republicans are going after another Clinton nominee to the federal bench, a black woman, for evidently having told a prosecutor in 1985 to shut her fucking mouth. Can't have a potty mouth in district court, now can we?
The FDA insists that it has the authority to regulate human cloning. No one seems to have asked whether clones are a food or a drug. But, of course, soylent green *is* people.
A 12-year old boy in England will get the day off school to attend the birth of his child.
A camel has been successfully bred with a llama. The result is a cama.
The world's interest in refugees continues to decline. How many stories have you seen about the sudden outpouring of Kurds from Turkey two or three weeks ago? It has now stopped, since the Europeans asked Turkey if it wouldn't mind cracking down on these people, as if Turkey actually needed an invitation to repress Kurds.
There are several stories in the Wed. Guardian about the rise of fascism among E German youth. Well, xenophobia at least. Half the country is now "foreigner free" zones.
The FDA insists that it has the authority to regulate human cloning. No one seems to have asked whether clones are a food or a drug. But, of course, soylent green *is* people.
A 12-year old boy in England will get the day off school to attend the birth of his child.
A camel has been successfully bred with a llama. The result is a cama.
The world's interest in refugees continues to decline. How many stories have you seen about the sudden outpouring of Kurds from Turkey two or three weeks ago? It has now stopped, since the Europeans asked Turkey if it wouldn't mind cracking down on these people, as if Turkey actually needed an invitation to repress Kurds.
There are several stories in the Wed. Guardian about the rise of fascism among E German youth. Well, xenophobia at least. Half the country is now "foreigner free" zones.
Saturday, January 17, 1998
This has been ancestors day in the British newspapers. Gandhi's great-something-grandson is running for the Indian parliament. Stalin's 2 grandchildren are profiled in the Times. One's a military man and rabid Stalinist, the other a theatrical producer who very much isn't. I sent an item a couple of months ago about the first creating a hit list of people who have said bad things about Stalin. The other grandson is on the list. William Gladstone's great-grandson is to make a 1,000-mile expedition in Tibet to find a duck previously thought to be extinct. It has a pink head. And what have we got? Michael Kennedy runs into a tree playing ski-football. I can't wait for the next generation of Kennedies. I foresee a series of running-with-scissors fatalities.
Another Tory cover-up: during the last general election, a UFO was spotted hovering over Home Minister Michael Howard's house, but the party got the local papers not to report it. The Truth is Out There.
The Holocaust Memorial Museum, which is largely taxpayer-financed, refused to extend a welcome to Arafat, who the State Dept had convinced to go, unless you can count as a welcome a comment to the effect that he could stand in line and buy a ticket like anyone else. Nice to see the museum performing its function of alleviating hatred (of everyone except Germans).
Our country of the week, almost in the news because Prince Charles will visit there: Bhutan. Population 600,000, one intersection with traffic lights. Evidently it is compulsory to wear the national costume, which for me is a dressing gown with argyle socks (if you don't believe me, try the Telegraph web site). And no TV. Oh, and the king is named Wangchuck.
Montana figures that as long as states are getting into the gambling business in a big way, they'll go even further into Mafia territory, and have legalized money laundering. Numbered accounts with Swiss-type secrecy, taxed at 1.5% (hell, it's not like any of that money will be taxed wherever it came from). No US citizens or convicted felons, minimum balance $200,000.
I was right about ethnic clashes in Asia. Chinese shopkeepers in Indonesia have been threatened by angry mobs.
Another Tory cover-up: during the last general election, a UFO was spotted hovering over Home Minister Michael Howard's house, but the party got the local papers not to report it. The Truth is Out There.
The Holocaust Memorial Museum, which is largely taxpayer-financed, refused to extend a welcome to Arafat, who the State Dept had convinced to go, unless you can count as a welcome a comment to the effect that he could stand in line and buy a ticket like anyone else. Nice to see the museum performing its function of alleviating hatred (of everyone except Germans).
Our country of the week, almost in the news because Prince Charles will visit there: Bhutan. Population 600,000, one intersection with traffic lights. Evidently it is compulsory to wear the national costume, which for me is a dressing gown with argyle socks (if you don't believe me, try the Telegraph web site). And no TV. Oh, and the king is named Wangchuck.
Montana figures that as long as states are getting into the gambling business in a big way, they'll go even further into Mafia territory, and have legalized money laundering. Numbered accounts with Swiss-type secrecy, taxed at 1.5% (hell, it's not like any of that money will be taxed wherever it came from). No US citizens or convicted felons, minimum balance $200,000.
I was right about ethnic clashes in Asia. Chinese shopkeepers in Indonesia have been threatened by angry mobs.
Friday, January 16, 1998
Fri, 16 Jan 1998
According to Michael Reagan's book about Ronnie, he was deliberately projecting himself as a "trigger-happy cowboy" to fool the Russians, and that line about the bombing beginning in 5 minutes was part of a clever plan that ultimately brought about the collapse of Communism. No sarcastic comment of mine could add to this.
Texas settles its product liability suit with the tobacco companies, and its lawyers get $2.2 billion (and all the 'baccy they can chaw, it being Texas). Here's an idea: why don't the states stop hiring outside counsel, and keep the extra piddling small change that might save?
The oldest woman to give birth in Britain (60 at the time) is now also a single mother, as the father has gone back to his wife. Here's a creepy image for you: she's breast-feeding. Sure, you're all completely grossed out, but think about how the poor kid feels.
Texas settles its product liability suit with the tobacco companies, and its lawyers get $2.2 billion (and all the 'baccy they can chaw, it being Texas). Here's an idea: why don't the states stop hiring outside counsel, and keep the extra piddling small change that might save?
The oldest woman to give birth in Britain (60 at the time) is now also a single mother, as the father has gone back to his wife. Here's a creepy image for you: she's breast-feeding. Sure, you're all completely grossed out, but think about how the poor kid feels.
Thursday, January 15, 1998
Hallmark is to develop sympathy cards for the relatives of suicides. The mind boggles.
Those of you who were with me in cyber-land in 1996 will remember I said at the time that the alleged traces of Martian life found on the meteorite in Antarctica would turn out not to be Martian. Far be it from me to miss a chance to say I told you so. I told you so.
Jamaica to resume executions.
More on that sex survey: PBS watchers have more sex than average, Catholics more than Protestants but less than Jews or agnostics (no word about atheists--they're the ones who are not saying Oh god oh god oh god during it), the richest have sex 5% more than average. Jazz listeners have more sex than rap listeners (unless you count what happens in prison). While the average may be 58 sex episodes (episodes?) per year, 15% of adults are having half the sex. The figure about the highly-educated having less sex actually means that women are having no sex, concentrating on their careers. Men have wives. People who go to concerts and sporting events have more sex, also those who smoke and drink, or own a gun. Adjust your lifestyles accordingly.
Those tobacco company documents make fun reading. Today they're claiming it's a typo, that they weren't going after 13-year olds, but 18 year olds. Don't let any kids read these documents: they'll be delighted to read that someone thinks of 12-year olds as "younger adults" (well, you can also be executed in Texas, I suppose those counts). They are also referred to as beginning smokers and, my personal favorite, replacement smokers.
Those of you who were with me in cyber-land in 1996 will remember I said at the time that the alleged traces of Martian life found on the meteorite in Antarctica would turn out not to be Martian. Far be it from me to miss a chance to say I told you so. I told you so.
Jamaica to resume executions.
More on that sex survey: PBS watchers have more sex than average, Catholics more than Protestants but less than Jews or agnostics (no word about atheists--they're the ones who are not saying Oh god oh god oh god during it), the richest have sex 5% more than average. Jazz listeners have more sex than rap listeners (unless you count what happens in prison). While the average may be 58 sex episodes (episodes?) per year, 15% of adults are having half the sex. The figure about the highly-educated having less sex actually means that women are having no sex, concentrating on their careers. Men have wives. People who go to concerts and sporting events have more sex, also those who smoke and drink, or own a gun. Adjust your lifestyles accordingly.
Those tobacco company documents make fun reading. Today they're claiming it's a typo, that they weren't going after 13-year olds, but 18 year olds. Don't let any kids read these documents: they'll be delighted to read that someone thinks of 12-year olds as "younger adults" (well, you can also be executed in Texas, I suppose those counts). They are also referred to as beginning smokers and, my personal favorite, replacement smokers.
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