Bush & Mush: He understands it just about as good as anybody in the world

Bush met Pakistan’s Generalissimo Musharraf today and praised him for his commitment to education, which is as good an excuse as any for me to make fun of Chimpy’s command of the English language: “The governor of the areas are with us here”; “He understands that we are in a struggle against extremists who will use terror as a weapon. He understands it just about as good as anybody in the world”.


Bush claims that he never heard that Armitage threatened to bomb Pakistan back to the Stone Age until he read it in the newspaper today. Yeah, that’s believable: like Bush would ever read a newspaper. “You know, I was -- I guess I was taken aback by the harshness of the words.” Mush (as I believe Bush calls him in private) said he couldn’t say any more about the incident because he has a book coming out... (Armitage, by the way, denies having made any military threats. Tony Snow says “US policy was not to issue bombing threats” and suggests the whole thing was “a classic failure to communicate”. Bomb. Stone Age. Sounds like pretty clear communication to me.)

Musharraf insisted that his deal with the Waziristan tribes is actually a deal to fight the Taliban, not a deal with the Taliban. Just a big misunderstanding, he says. It is a “holistic approach that we are taking to fighting terrorism”. And Bush said, “When the President looks me in the eye and says, the tribal deal is intended to reject the Talibanization of the people, and that there won’t be a Taliban and won’t be al Qaeda, I believe him, you know?” Looked into his soul, did you, George?


Neither would say whether American forces would enter Pakistan to capture Osama bin Laden.

Bush said the “Kashmir issue will be solved when two leaders decide to solve it.” As ever, the views of any actual Kashmiris are irrelevant. Also, Pakistan is a military dictatorship, but aren’t decisions in India supposed to be made by more than one person?

Bush said “the free world and the moderate world must stand up to these extremists”. Of course I’ve heard the expression “the free world” before, but I didn’t know there was also a moderate world.

Violence

AP headline: “Indonesian Executions Lead to Violence.” Dude, executions are violence. By definition. In this particular case, a firing squad was involved.

A very rude remark

On the Detainee Detention Bill “compromise”: what Digby said.

It includes retroactive immunity for past violations of the Geneva Conventions. Of course nothing was stopping Bush from using his pardon power. And when Congress votes on this, it will have no idea exactly what past acts it will be granting immunity to. This isn’t just legal immunity, it’s an act of willful ignorance about what was done in our names.

Only Bush can interpret the Geneva Conventions.

Evidence obtained through torture will be allowed.

OK, I’m going to stop listing the defects in this deal, or we’ll be here all night. There may be something good in it, but don’t see it. Can anyone else?

BBC headline: “Palestinians Split on Unity Plan.”

Pakistani Prez Musharraf says Richard Armitage’s 2001 threat to bomb Pakistan back to the Stone Age was “a very rude remark.” Quite.

Lord Holy Joe of Stamford

Here’s a Joe Lieberman ad which suggests that you should never elect someone to the Senate who is not already a senator. “We definitely don’t need someone who needs to be tutored in how to be a senator.” Clearly, election should be for life, not a mere six years. I don’t know what the Founding Fathers were thinking in failing to have a House of Lords.



The Financial Times is reporting that the reason detainees were moved from secret CIA prisons to Guantanamo was that CIA interrogators downed tools and “refused to continue their work until the legal situation was clarified.” Yes, a torturers’ strike. And that’s one union you do not want to mess with.

Caption contest:

Angelina Shrugged

About the Thai coup: there’s been a lot of talk in the news coverage in the West about the shortcomings of deposed Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra – power-hungry, somewhat corrupt, not obsequious enough towards the king, and so on. I don’t know enough to judge the charges, but they’re really more or less irrelevant, like asking if a rape victim was dressed too sluttily. Also, the thing these stories leave out is that the military also dissolved the government, the parliament, and the Constitutional Court.

Still, sometimes the people just don’t know what they want until it’s given to them by benevolent despots. For example, Hollywood has decreed that what the world needs is a film of Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged starring Angelina Jolie.

Jon Carroll offers a platform we can all vote for: a right-click universe.

Hmm, what would happen if I right clicked on Angelina Jolie?

Of the devil, the Terminator, and the choir boy

Hugo Chávez, in a speech to the UN, called Bush “the devil.” And your point is?

Wolf Blitzer interviewed the devil today. The horned one reversed his position, I guess, about whether we would send troops into Pakistan if we knew where Osama bin Laden was, without the “invitation” he said just a couple of days ago that Pakistan as a “sovereign country” would have to issue before we’d do that. Musharraf has voiced some objections. (Update: ah, Georgia10 at Daily Kos asks the question I was wondering: how is it after five years there isn’t some sort of agreement about what happens if bin Laden is found?)

Wolfie asked Chimpy if Iran would nuke Israel if it had nukes. Bush responded that he believes everything that everyone tells him without reservation, which is why he has the world’s largest collection of magic beans:

Wolf, my judgment is you’ve got to take everybody’s word seriously in this world. Again, you can’t just hope for the best. You’ve got to assume that the leader, when he says that he would like to destroy Israel means what he says. If you take -- if you say, well, gosh, maybe he doesn’t mean it, and you turn out to be wrong, you have not done your duty as a world leader.

Now you know what the duty of a world leader is.

Here in California, inept gubernatorial candidate Phil Angelides is running this inept ad every 12 minutes on every channel against inept governator Ahnuuuld. Governor Terminator’s policies are almost uniformly opposed by the California voters, but the only thing Angelides is calling him out for is chanting “George W. Bush” while wearing an ugly green tie.



British Home Secretary John Reid imparted some helpful advice to Muslim parents: check your children for the “tell-tale signs” of brainwashing.

The official US response to the Thai coup is to say that coups are bad, and to ask that “democratic elections be held as soon as possible, which is a commitment military officials have made.” To call for elections but not for the return of the elected prime minister is to give de facto support to the coup. The State Dept spokesmodel kept repeating that the coup leaders should live up to their commitments to restore democracy, but this formulation suggests that they have some sort of right to make any commitment about the form of government of Thailand, that they are legitimate actors, which they are not.

The British soldier convicted of a war crime in Iraq (Corporal Payne, can’t make this shit up) punched civilians in different body parts to elicit screams and groans. He called this his “choir,” and played it for anyone who visited the detention center, including total strangers. His confidence in his impunity might have been correct, had he not beaten a prisoner to death as well.

Connecting the dots

You’ll remember Ron Suskind’s explication of Cheney’s “one percent doctrine,” by which we have to act on vanishingly unlikely doomsday scenarios as if they were real. The equivalent to that in the debates on violent interrogations, warrantless eavesdropping etc is the metaphor that “we have to connect all the dots.” So while Rep. Peter King of NY, the chair of the House Homeland Security Committee, said last week that “If we capture bin Laden tomorrow and we have to hold his head under water to find out when the next attack is going to happen, we ought to be able to do it” (did I mention this thug is the chair of the House Homeland Security Committee?), he’s missing the point: we have to listen in on every phone call, read every email message, and hold every head under water which might provide us, not with the location of a ticking bomb, but with any minuscule “dot,” some trivial piece of information that might possibly, when combined with dozens or hundreds of other dots extracted by similar means, add up to the location of a ticking bomb.

Thinking about them

Bush met with Iraqi President Talibani yesterday.


He said, “I spoke today at the United Nations, and in my speech I spoke directly to the people of Iraq. I wanted them to know that we’re thinking about them during this difficult period of time.”

Since that sounded exactly like a sympathy card, I went to the Hallmark website to see if there was anything I could appropriate for this post, but just got too creeped out. Yick.

Still, I’m sure the people of Iraq are just so very grateful to hear that we’re thinking about them during this difficult period of time.


And today Bush met with Palestinian President Abbas, and welcomed him to Washington, D.C. They were, of course, in New York.

Given limited time and limited support, however, we’re screwed

Least reassuring statement of the week, Gen. Abizaid on whether we’re winning in Iraq: “Given unlimited time and unlimited support, we’re winning the war.”

At least that is an assessment of what it would take to win the war. The Iraq Study Group, led by such elderly luminaries as James Baker and Lee Hamilton, held a press conference to announce that “We’ve made no judgment of any kind at this point about any aspect of policy with regard to Iraq.” Read the hilarious Dana Milbank report.

The hopes of the civilized world ride with us

Cheney gave a speech Tuesday to a conference of the National Automobile Dealers Association (would you buy a used car from this vice president?), about half of which was about The War Against Terror (TWAT). He didn’t mention oil once. He did mention car bombs. Are car dealers for or against those? He also said that “the hopes of the civilized world ride with us,” which sounds like car-pooling, which they’re definitely against.


He brought up 9/11, naturally, saying the terrorists “did not know the people they killed. They didn’t know their names or what they did for a living. They just knew these unsuspecting people were Americans, and that was enough to kill them all.” Funny how people in the White House keep forgetting that not every 9/11 victim was actually an American.

It feels a little trite to point out just how often Cheney’s descriptions of the terrorists could be applied to himself, but sometimes trite is true. You probably noticed the thing about not knowing the names of the people they killed, when the military won’t give an estimate, to the nearest 10,000 say, of the numbers of Iraqis we’ve killed. Cheney also says the enemy “recognize neither the conventions of war, nor any rules of morality,” they “organize in secret” (undisclosed location, anyone?), and “seek to impose a dictatorship of fear”. He contrasts them with “civilized societies [which] uphold justice, mercy, and the value of life”. I recognize nothing of Dick Cheney in that description.

Or of car dealers, if it comes to that.

He says that “despite assassins and car-bombers Iraqis came out to vote at a rate of turnout higher than we have here in the United States.” If the Republicans have an unusual get-out-the-vote campaign in November, don’t say you weren’t warned.

Bush at the UN: Imagine what it’s like to be a young person living in a country that is not moving toward reform

George Bush spent today at the United Nations, representing the US to the entire world. Oh good.

At an exchange of toast with Kofi Annan, Bush said, “I’ve talked to him a lot of times during my time as President, and a lot of times my discussions with him came from when he was in far away places, because he cares deeply about the world.” And frequent-flier miles.




And he addressed the General Assembly. He said that “the world is engaged in a great ideological struggle, between extremists who use terror as a weapon to create fear, and moderate people who work for peace.” And which were you again?

Actually, he talked about moderates or the “forces of moderation” nine times during the speech (“we have seen the forces of freedom and moderation transform entire continents”). A visitor from Mars would think that moderation was an ideology or a political philosophy, rather than merely a position on a spectrum. So remember: moderation good, extremism bad.


He praised elections in, um, Algeria, Kuwait, Saudi Arabia, Egypt. But what about Middle Eastern countries that aren’t quite so, um, democratic? He paints this chilling picture, which is like the worst after-school special ever:

Imagine what it’s like to be a young person living in a country that is not moving toward reform. You’re 21 years old, and while your peers in other parts of the world are casting their ballots for the first time, you are powerless to change the course of your government. While your peers in other parts of the world have received educations that prepare them for the opportunities of a global economy, you have been fed propaganda and conspiracy theories that blame others for your country’s shortcomings. And everywhere you turn, you hear extremists who tell you that you can escape your misery and regain your dignity through violence and terror and martyrdom. For many across the broader Middle East, this is the dismal choice presented every day.

Also: kids, don’t do drugs.

“Today, I’d like to speak directly to the people across the broader Middle East: My country desires peace. Extremists in your midst spread propaganda claiming that the West is engaged in a war against Islam. This propaganda is false, and its purpose is to confuse you and justify acts of terror.” He added, “See, doesn’t that clear everything up? It was all just a big misunderstanding.”

He then spoke to the people of Iraq: “We will not yield the future of your country to terrorists and extremists.” The people of Iraq might be forgiven for wondering why the future of their country is George Bush’s to yield or not yield. He went on, “Working together, we will help your democracy succeed, so it can become a beacon of hope for millions in the Muslim world,” adding, “That’s beacon, not bacon, I know you people don’t like crispy delicious bacon. Mm, bacon.”

Then he spoke to the people of Afghanistan (he was speaking in reverse-clusterfuck order), said he’d stand by them blah blah blah.

Then he spoke to the people of Lebanon, many of whom, he said, “have seen your homes and communities caught in crossfire” between Hezbollah and Israel. Crossfire? Was Hezbollah dropping bombs on Lebanese homes?

Then he spoke to the people of Iran, telling them they “deserve an opportunity to determine your own future” and “Iran must abandon its nuclear weapons ambitions.” Mixed message, really.

Then he spoke to the people of Syria, whose rulers, he said, “have allowed your country to become a crossroad for terrorism.” Crossroad? I’ll bet no one’s running a red light at that intersection. Interestingly, in this section, unlike the one on Iran, he doesn’t call for regime change, saying “Your government must choose a better way forward by ending its support for terror (etc.)”

Then he spoke to the people of Darfur, who are suffering “unspeakable violence” (some would say that’s the problem, the lack of speaking). He says he’s appointing a Presidential Special Envoy, one Andrew Natsios, who knows something about the plight of persecuted minorities, being a Republican from Massachusetts. Natsios’s resumé suggests he know something about humanitarian aid, nothing at all about stopping genocide.

Talking about Israel & Palestine, but without speaking to their people, he said that “President Abbas is committed to peace” and “Prime Minister Olmert is committed to peace,” and once again it’s just those fucking extremists that’re making all the trouble.

“Freedom, by its nature, cannot be imposed -- it must be chosen.” Funny, ‘cause I thought we invaded all those countries to... oh, never mind.

You don’t read Miranda rights to barbarians

George Allen (R-Macaca) thinks that asking if one of his grandparents was Jewish is an “aspersion.”

Paul Krugman, in an article behind a pay barrier, and therefore absolutely impossible to find online, says that the reason the Bush admin is determined to torture people is to show that it can, to eliminate all limits on presidential power. Torture is especially suited to demonstrate this “precisely because it’s a violation of both law and tradition.” I’d like to expand on that a little. It’s not just about expanding presidential power, it’s about altering the basis of that power and delegitimizing certain ways of talking about power. They don’t just wish to violate law and tradition, but to sideline them altogether, to treat them as quaint relics of the past, irrelevant in today’s world. Instead, the sole measure is to be what “works.” And somehow, the more violent and savage something is, the more these self-styled realists assume it must work.

Here’s how the Manchester Union-Leader put it Saturday, in an attack on John McCain for being soft on terrorism: “This is a new kind of war waged by a ruthless, extremist enemy that cares nothing for Geneva Convention niceties. ... You don’t read Miranda rights to barbarians or worry about ‘what the world thinks’ when you are fighting an enemy that is out to destroy you.” Considering they claim to be talking about a new kind of war, they’re spouting some very old, very familiar crap. I don’t think there’s been a war in history where it wasn’t said of the other side, “The only thing they understand is force” and “they don’t value life the way we do.”

We long for the days when people don’t feel comfortable or empowered to take innocent life to achieve an objective

This could be fun to watch: Hungarian PM Ferenc Gyurcsany having to explain having been caught on tape telling MPs that his party had won the election “We lied in the morning, we lied in the evening” because “You cannot quote any significant government measure we can be proud of,” “we screwed up. Not a little, a lot. No European country has done something as boneheaded as we have.”

Speaking of boneheaded, George Bush held a White House Conference on Global Literacy today.


You can stop laughing now.

Really, stop.

DEAD BABIES IN DARFUR!

Sorry I had to do that. If I may continue...

Bush said that literacy isn’t just about knowing what happens to the very hungry caterpillar. “It is very hard to have free societies if the citizens cannot read. Think about that.” Dude, you have totally blown my mind. “You can’t realize the blessings of liberty if you can’t read a ballot” [insert Florida joke here] “or if you can’t read what others are saying about the future of your country” [Akbar, it says here that George Bush is going to bomb us!]


He went on, “I am deeply concerned about the spread of radicalism, and I know you are, as well. We long for the days when people don’t feel comfortable or empowered to take innocent life to achieve an objective.” Some sentences could only come out of the mouth of one person on the planet, and that was one of them. “One reason radicals are able to recruit young men, for example, to become suicide bombers, is because of hopelessness. One way to defeat hopelessness is through literacy, is to giving [sic] people the fantastic hope that comes by being able to read and realize dreams.” “Reading,” he added, “will yield the peace we want.”


Contest: what could Bush read have read to him that would yield the peace we want?

I think you’re wrong. I think you’re right.

The interrogation “techniques” the CIA wants legalized evidently are: induced hypothermia; forcing suspects to stand for prolonged periods; sleep deprivation; the “attention grab” (grabbing the detainee’s shirt); the “attention slap”; the “belly slap”; sound and light manipulation. I’m actually surprised for some reason that direct physical assaults are listed.

Fred Barnes provides a few more details of Bush’s get-together with conservative pundits last week. He said, “I’ve never been more convinced that the decisions I made are the right decisions.” Isn’t it cute how he still thinks that his refusal to admit mistakes will convince other people that he hasn’t made any?

He said, “It’s impossible for someone to have grown up in the 50s and 60s to envision a conflict with people that just kill mercilessly, using techniques that are kind of foreign to modern warfare. But it’s real. I’m telling you, it’s real.” Yes, we all got lulled into a false belief in the gentleness of humankind by the Nazis and so forth during the mid-20th century’s golden age of peace and love.

He said that when people wanted him to ask for the American people to make sacrifices in The War Against Terror (TWAT), what those cynical bastards really meant was tax increases. “That’s what that means as far as I’m concerned.”

Bush insisted that he does not live in a bubble. “I listen to a lot of people. I’ve got smart people around me.” Name one. “And they can march right in here – this Oval Office can be slightly intimidating, but I’ve got people here who can fight through the aura and say, ‘I think you’re wrong. I think you’re right.’” That’s just how they say it too: they say the first sentence, then see Cheney pointing the shotgun at their face...

They probably are required to march when they enter the Oval Office, too.

And Maureen Dowd, who I assume was not invited, reports that Bush blamed American impatience on there being too many tv channels.

Until there’s an all-Simpsons channel, there are not too many channels.

A simple “no” would have sufficed

From Reuters: “Rebels unleashed a wave of deadly bomb attacks in Iraq’s ethnically mixed city of Kirkuk on Sunday, including a huge suicide truck bomb, a day after Prime Minister Nuri al-Maliki urged Iraqis to embrace reconciliation.”

Going beyond dissent

Holy Joe Lieberman quote: “It is wrong for some on the left who go beyond dissent and demonize the president and impugn the motives of all those who support him. Like it or not, we are in this war against terror, and we are in it together.”


I’m not quite sure what it means to go “beyond dissent” or why the motives of Bushites can’t be impugned (a word defined by my computer’s dictionary as “dispute the truth, validity, or honesty of”). But it’s that phrase “like it or not” that I enjoyed.

Which brings us to today’s poll (I need to test out a different poll service):

Like being in this war against terror? Or not? Like it. Not so much.    Free polls from Pollhost.com

Of tools and professionals

In his radio address, Bush says of the Detainee Detention Act (as I shall henceforth call it), “I have one test for this legislation: The intelligence community must be able to tell me that the bill Congress sends to my desk will allow this vital program to continue.” This is a variant on his assertions that the decisions about the timing of troop withdrawals from Iraq and the number of troops deployed in the first place, are made entirely by the generals, the professional soldiers, and therefore Congress should just butt out. Since that line has been pretty successful in intimidating Congress, not wanting to be accused of playing, gasp, politics, into passivity, Bush is using it as a template, except that in this case the “professionals” he keeps talking about (professional what, he never says) are not generals but shadowy spooks whose names and track records we are not permitted to know (like bloggers, only with more people tied up in their basements), but who we are expected to trust to determine what tools they need.


Speaking of tools, today’s must-read is the Rajiv Chandrasekaran piece in the WaPo previewing his book, Imperial Life in the Emerald City: Inside Iraq’s Green Zone (isn’t that a good title?), about how the Bush administration sent a bunch of inexperienced ideologues, party donors, and media to handle the reconstruction of Iraq and how, surprisingly, it did not work. We’ve seen much of this before in dribs and drabs, but put together in a single narrative, it’s rather more powerful.

Detaining detainees in detention

The International Astronomical Union may have made the right if unpopular decision in de-planetizing Pluto, but this time they’ve gone too far (about 13 light hours), renaming planet Xena “Eris.”

In my last post I quoted but forgot to make fun of Bush referring to something called the “Detainee Detention Act.” A slip of the tongue, but revealing, I thought, of Bushian logic at its Bushianest. Just as elsewhere in the press conference he said that “one of the reasons [Saddam Hussein] was declared a state sponsor of terror was because that’s what he was,” so “Detainee Detention Act” implies that the reason these people must be detained is that they are, in fact, detainees. Quod erat demonstrandum.

Earlier this week Sikhs held a procession in Amritsar to celebrate “dignity and sanctity of the Turban.”

Bush press conference: They don’t want to be tried as war criminals

I actually saw this one, though not from the beginning. So I’m using my own notes rather than a transcript. I can use my own punctuation, as when he said of the terrorists, “They are comin’ again.” Although I occasionally got caught up with things like trying to figure out if he’d said that Iraqi had a “uni government.”


Our various enemies all have a common ideology, he said. He also doesn’t like Common Article III of the Geneva Conventions. Or the House of Commons. Or the Commonwealth of Massachusetts.

He doesn’t like Common Article III because it outlaws “outrages upon the human dignity” of prisoners. “That’s very vague,” he complained. “What does it mean?” He didn’t say which word he didn’t understand: outrage, human, or dignity. All three I’m guessing.

He says without “clarity,” CIA torturers, who he called “our professionals” and “decent citizens,” won’t want to go to work in the morning, won’t “step up unless there’s clarity in the law.” Because CIA torturers are all about the clarity in the law. He added, “They don’t want to be tried as war criminals.” You know how not to be tried as war criminals? As Baretta used to say, don’t do the war crime if you can’t do the war time. He even said (Bush, not Baretta) that without the “clarification” he wants (which he says is based on the McCain Act, you know the one he added a signing statement to saying he’d follow it only if he felt like it), the program of interrogations at secret prisons is “just not gonna go forward.” Don’t make me turn this waterboard around! He said if international courts are allowed to determine “how we protect ourselves,” it would “ruin” the program of secret CIA inquisitions.


He was asked (by NBC’s David Gregory) whether it would bother him if countries like Iran or North Korea did to captured American soldiers what he does, roughing prisoners up according to their own interpretation of the Geneva Conventions, and putting them on trial with secret evidence. He said that was okay with him (if they “adopted the standards within the Detainee Detention Act, the world would be better”). When Gregory tried to follow up, Bush told him he’d taken too long to ask his question.


The CNN scroll is just never at the right place when you need it, is it? When Bush was denying that Iraq is in a civil war, it would have been appropriate if it repeated the story about 30 more dead bodies being found in Iraq with signs of torture. I forget what it actually was, probably something about spinach being bad for you.

Asked the difference between Republican and Democratic economic policies, he said it was all about... wait for it... tax cuts. Tax cuts, he added, determine elections, and we have a history of that in our family. Did he mean to make fun of his father’s “Read my lips” line?

Asked about whether it would be a good idea to send in special forces to capture bin Laden, he said that Pakistan was a sovereign nation and we “have to be invited.” This will come as a surprise to Afghanistan. He said that “the Paks” are in the lead. He said that the idea that he had eased off the hunt for bin Laden was an “urban myth.”

Asked about his claim that there may be a third Awakening in America, he said that was based on the number of people who come up to him on rope lines and say they’re praying for him.

Then he was struck by lightning, proving the power of prayer.

Comfortable

Bush says the purpose of the proposed legislation (which looks today to be in trouble) to legalize (retroactively) “tough interrogations” of suspected terrorists is to “provide legal clarity so that our professionals will feel comfortable about going forward with the program”. Because it’s all about whether the CIA’s... professionals... feel comfortable.

That was at a photo op with the South Korean president, who brought along a translator, who unfortunately made the mistake of translating from Korean into English, a language Bush does not speak.



Earlier in the day he met privately with the House Republican Conference. The meeting went smoothly until someone tried to eat a potato chip that Dennis Hastert had his eye on. In the resulting fight, the holographic equipment that has projected the image of Dick Cheney since his death in 2002 was damaged, resulting in the blurring you see here.


Really came a long way for a rather weak joke, didn’t I? I am so off my game today.

Quote of the week: Israeli Prime Minister Olmert: “Half Lebanon is destroyed. Is that a loss?”