and talk about health care. But first, he bestowed yet another of his hilarious nicknames: “Mayor Claude Ramsey of Hamilton County. I told the Mayor, I said, in Texas, we call them county judges. (Laughter.) So I said, I might just call you Judge. And he said, well, Mr. President, you can call me whatever you want to call me. (Laughter.)”
Right off the bat he misspoke: “Now, I believe the federal government has a solemn responsibility to take care of the sick -- I mean, the disabled, the elderly and the poor.” Phew, he almost said that the government had a responsibility to the sick, thank god he caught himself in time.
Most of the speech was the same old same old. He did suggest that one problem with insurance plans is that states add mandates to cover things like “the hair follicle benefit -- well, you don’t need hair follicles, particularly if you have hair.” So he doesn’t believe in a solemn responsibility to take care of the bald.
He didn’t say what states actually require coverage of baldness treatment and if that’s for regular male pattern baldness like some people I know – hi Chris! – or for chemotherapy and the like.
All that health talk made him hungry, so he went to a restaurant called Porkers for some ribs.
Seems a little scared of those ribs. By the way, he went to Porkers with Senator Corker, which sounds like a children’s book.
Cheney, on his way to practice the art of diplomacy in Japan (poor Japan),
gave a speech aboard the aircraft carrier USS Kitty Hawk, stationed in Tokyo, because the only audiences who will still put up with his shit are 1) captive military audiences, 2) who can’t walk out without falling into the water and going “splash.” They do look like they’re weighing that option very seriously, though.
He told them “the American people will not support a policy of retreat.” He told them “We want to complete the mission, we want to get it done right, and we want to return with honor” and they replied “Sir! Who is this ‘we’ of whom you speak, sir!”
He told ABC that the British decision to withdraw some troops from Iraq with honor, or possibly honour, was actually “an affirmation of the fact that there are parts of Iraq where things are going pretty well.”
He called the Congressional resolution on the war “posturing on Capitol Hill,” said that “it’s important to remember that this is a Sense of the Congress resolution, that it doesn’t have any binding impact or effect” and complained that Senate Republicans were not allowed to present their resolution that wouldn’t have had any binding impact or effect. He said of that, “So there’s a certain amount of politics involved, I suppose.” He then went on to accuse Nancy Pelosi and Jack Murtha of having a “policy of defeat” and validating Al Qaida strategy.
Asked about McCain’s recent criticism of Rumsfeld, Cheney said, “I think Don’s a great secretary [sic].” He also said that McCain is a big pussy: “John said some nasty things about me the other day” [i.e., that Bush listens to Cheney too much] “and then next time he saw me, ran over to me and apologized. Maybe he’ll apologize to Rumsfeld.”
Giuliani: “With a campaign built on traditional 9/11 values, and with the help of every citizen who believes in the 9/11 dream, I want to make 9/11 great again.”
Al Kamen informs us that John Bolton is working on a book, but that it has no title. I believe that means it’s time for a CONTEST! YAY! To start you off: “Memoirs of a Quintessential Kiss-Up, Kick-Down Sort of Guy,” “The Time Has Come, The Walrus Said, To Talk of Many Things.”
I try to treat any claims about Iraq with a healthy scepticism, so I knew the (alleged) gang rape of Sabrine al-Janabi was going to cause me some difficulties. I really don’t want to suggest that she is lying, nor do I think she is, but so far I only have her word, and the accusation is culturally powerful and is already having significant political repercussions, so a little caution is called for. Unlike Riverbend (note: she has two posts on the subject), I don’t consider it impossible that an Iraqi woman would lie about being raped “simply to undermine the Baghdad security operation.” Lying publicly about rape would be a new, previously unthinkable phenomenon in Iraq, but so is suicide bombing. Indeed, telling the truth about being raped is also nearly unthinkable in Iraq, which, as Riverbend herself has pointed out in the past, is why there is almost certainly much more rape being perpetrated under cover of this war than we will ever hear about.
Maliki went into full cover-up mode with a blatant lack of interest in discovering the truth. With unaccustomed efficiency he had “investigated” and completely exonerated the three policemen within hours and “ordered that the honourable officers accused be rewarded.” No word on what the reward is for not gang-raping a prisoner. Is it money? A medal? He accused “known groups,” which he did not name, of being behind the charges. Janabi is accused of taking money, and of having recanted her story, by other government officials. Maliki’s office is saying medical examination proved that she had not been raped, but other Iraqi officials, Sunni ones of course, are saying the opposite. She seems to have been examined by US military doctors, who aren’t talking. Al Jazeera says she was (also?) examined at an Iraqi hospital which an official in the vice president’s office describes as an “unbiased hospital.” (Update: the unbiased hospital is American-run, not Iraqi. A military spokesmodel for the hospital, trying to be as uninformative as possible, said “She received the care she needed.” Actually, that implies that she needed medical care for something.) Much more sliming and lying to come, I’m guessing.
Oh, the alleged crime for which she was arrested was suspicion of having cooked for insurgents.
Speaking of which, oh goody, presidential election ads already. Here’s Romney’s ad, if you want to see a white guy speaking before an all-white audience with a giant flag in the background.
Well, I think he’s running for president. It says “Mitt Romney. President.” Also “Strong. New. Leadership.” “Period. Button. Stuck.” “.......”
Interestingly, it called him “the Republican governor who turned around a Democratic state.” Should presidential candidates be defining states, even their own, as Republican or Democratic?
At least he didn’t call it a Democrat state.
Romney has also been having difficulties explaining why he voted in the 1992 Democratic presidential primary. He’s attempting to portray himself as having been a rabid R for longer than he actually was (he also contributed to D candidates) and he’s contradicting his previous explanation that he voted for Paul Tsongas because he was from Massachusetts, but let’s put that to one side, because what he’s saying now about that vote tells us something about what sort of a politician he is. He’s saying that he wasn’t voting in favor of Tsongas, he was voting against Clinton, that he was voting for the weakest Democratic candidate because he actually wanted Bush the Elder to win; Bush had the R primary locked down, so Romney was free to use his ballot... to cause mischief. A terrible civics lesson from a man with an impoverished, cynical understanding of democracy.
Michael McConnell, the successor to John Negroponte as Director of National Intelligence, was sworn in today at an Air Force base, for some reason.
Remind you of anyone?
And Chimpy was there too. “I’m comfortable in knowing this is a good man who cares about one thing only, and that’s his country. And I thank his family for supporting him as he returns to government service.” Especially since Bush just said he only cares about one thing, and it’s not his family.
“I’ve asked him to ensure that our intelligence agency focus on bringing in more Americans with language skills and cultural awareness necessary to meet the threats of this new century.” Honestly, Bush talking about language skills takes all the fun out of blogging, it’s just too damned easy.
“He’ll find that I value the intelligence products that you create. He’s going to find that the intelligence product is an important part of my strategic thought, and important part of helping me get this government to respond to do our most important duty, which is to protect you.” Bush had to call it “intelligence product,” because otherwise that sentence would have been “He’s going to find that intelligence is an important part of my strategic thought and... why is everyone laughing?”
McConnell warned that “today’s threats move at increasing speeds. The time needed to develop a terrorist plot, communicated around the globe, and put it into motion has been drastically reduced. The time line is no longer a calendar, it is a watch.” So any Muslim found in possession of a watch will henceforth be sent to Gitmo.
That would have been a funnier joke if people hadn’t actually been sent there for having a brand of watch (Sanyo?) favored by terrorists.
Congress is considering a resolution asking Japan to apologize for forcing women into sexual slavery during World War II. Japanese Foreign Minister Taro Aso says the resolution is “not based on objective facts. It doesn’t take into account Japan’s response to the issue, and is extremely regrettable.” It would be interesting to hear what Aso considers the objective facts to be.
And that on the official birthday of George Washington, who once said that reports of his chopping down a cherry tree were not based on objective facts. To celebrate, Bush went to Mount Vernon and hung out with someone he may or may not have realized was only an actor pretending to be George Washington.
Bush also pretended to be George Washington: “Today, we’re fighting a new war to defend our liberty and our people and our way of life. And as we work to advance the cause of freedom around the world, we remember that the father of our country believed that the freedoms we secured in our revolution were not meant for Americans alone.” Of course, that was just what Washington said only after he falsely accused Canada of having blunderbusses of mass destruction and being part of an axis of evil with England and Hesse (although cynics said he wanted to start a war to get hold of Canada’s whale oil).
Well, if you think you can do better than that (and how could you not?), have a go at captioning these pictures:
Condi is in the Middle East for a summit with Olmert and Abbas. She isn’t really expecting much in the way of accomplishments, or indeed, physical coordination: “I am not going to ask anyone to run when we really need to walk for a while, because, as I said, I think if we ask everybody to run somebody is going to fall down.” Really, if they both show up, that’s good enough for Condi: “Nobody is at the point of talking about a deal... What I would consider a success tomorrow is that we have gotten started.” That woman is the guru of low achievers everywhere. Following her example, if I get out of bed tomorrow, I will consider it a success. If I put my pants on, it will be a triumph.
She met with Israeli Foreign Minister Tzipi Livni, which may or not have produced any tangible results, and who cares because Condi & Tzipi meetings always produce such fabulous photos:
There were more French troops fighting for American independence at Yorktown than American troops, did you know that? I didn’t know that.
John McCain gave a speech promoting abstinence to a bunch of South Carolina teenagers at a rally sponsored by one of those religious anti-abortion “pregnancy centers.” In yesterday’s story announcing the rally, the AP chose to use this 3-month old picture, presumably because McCain seems to be trying to hold up his pants. Which is surprisingly immature of the AP, and I wish I’d thought of it first.
I’m frustrated that the only coverage of the speech I’ve found, from the AP, is sketchy but tantalizing. So we know he told the teenagers, “Sometimes I’ve made the wrong choice,” and he seems to have compared high school peer pressure to his experiences at the Hanoi Hilton, where the North Vietnamese “wanted to make us do things that we otherwise wouldn’t do.” More, dammit, we want more!
One of the people who gave that anonymous briefing accusing Iran of smuggling IEDs into Iraq (I am calling them IEDs because I have decided that EFPs are in fact IEDs with better PR, which the Pentagon is pretending are a new scary weapon precisely because they need a new scary weapon to blame on Iran) is now known to be Gen. William Caldwell IV, Military Moron. News-googling shows that Caldwell claimed earlier this week that the Iranian government had to be behind the IEDs because if these were “just random black market activities,” everyone would have Iranian weapons, but, he insisted darkly, it’s only the Shiites that have them. Quod erat demonstrandum, says the master of logic. He speaks as if the black market is like a supermarket that anyone can shop in, but of course Iranian arms smugglers would be far more likely to have links with Shiite Iraqi arms smugglers (also, Sunni regions do not border Iran).
Holy Joe Lieberman went to the Senate on the Sabbath to vote against the surge resolution (assholery knows no day of rest), but John McCain would not violate the far greater sanctity of a campaign stop in Iowa, where he said that the resolution endangered our ability to overawe the president of Iran, “whose name I refuse to learn to pronounce.” Oh, snap! Ahmadinejad will no doubt sob bitter tears into his pillow when he hears of this snub.
That was the first time I have ever written “Oh, snap.” It will be the last.
Headline of the day that doesn’t mean the sort of thing it sounds like it means, from the Miami Herald: “Gay Mayor Reaches out to Hardaway.”
Another headline of the day, from the AP: “U.S. Expects Change After Fidel’s Death.” Lack of breathing, decomposition, that sort of thing.
Rep. Phil Gingrey of Georgia (another congressional doctor who diagnosed Terri Schiavo by video as not being brain–dead): “What we’re doing with this resolution is not a salute to G.I. Joe, it’s a capitulation to Jihadist Joe.” Now with kung fu grip.
Note to Hillary Clinton: I didn’t consider it especially important that you acknowledge that your vote in 2002 allowing Bush to invade Iraq was a mistake, until you dug in so hard against it. Your line that you wouldn’t have voted as you did if you knew then what you know now is intended to make it seem that your failure was to see the future, when it was actually a failure to see what was going on in the present.
Holy Joe Lieberman hang-doggedly warned today that the non-binding resolution will turn into a constitutional crisis, “an escalating battle that threatens to consume our government over many months ahead, a battle that will neither solve the sprawling challenges we face in Iraq nor strengthen our nation to defeat the enemies of our security throughout the world from Islamist extremists.” In other words – and I suspect you’re all way ahead of me here – exactly like the war in Iraq.
He said that the resolution “proposes nothing.” He said it “is a strategy of ‘no,’ while our soldiers are saying, ‘yes, sir’ to their commanding officers as they go forward into battle.” Um, yeah, that’s kinda the point.
He finished with a call to “reach out to one another to find that measure of unity that can look beyond today’s disagreements and secure the nation’s future and the future of all who will follow us as Americans.” Which is the emptiest of empty rhetoric since he, to borrow a phrase, proposes nothing, signally failing to describe what measure of unity can be found between rabid militarists like himself and, you know, sane people.
The White House response to the resolution pointed out that even if Congress doesn’t support Bush’s “surge,” “This plan enjoys the support of the Iraqi government and U.S. military leadership, including Gen. David Petraeus”. And as we know, the United States Constitution states that “the government of the United States shall consist of three branches, the (Iraqi) Executive, the (dirty hippy) Legislative, and the US military leadership, including Gen. David Petraeus.”
A spokesmodel for Gen. Qanbar went on Iraqi state television to brag that “only” ten murdered corpses were found in Baghdad last night. Hurrah!
A Venezuelan court imposed a fine of $20,000 or so on an opposition newspaper after a humor writer wrote a parody of a conversation between Hugo Chavez and his 9-year old daughter, whose privacy the writer is accused of violating by writing fictional dialog for her, following a Chavez speech in which he recounted how his daughter complained about the horse in the nation’s coat of arms galloping towards the right, which was subsequently changed.
Speaking of privacy, as in “right of,” Tennessee state rep Stacey Campfield (a man) has introduced a bill to require death certificates for aborted fetuses, thus putting the names of their mothers into the public record. Campfield (a white man) was last seen attempting to join the legislature’s Black Caucus, saying that the KKK has “less racist bylaws” than it does (he didn’t get in)(to the Black Caucus, I mean, not the KKK). Oh, and he’s also a blogging white man.
Trust the Chinese to screw up what should have been a hilarious news story about a fraudulent investment scam involving the breeding of giant ants by sentencing its organizer to death.
Putin has hinted with his usual subtlety that his successor next year will be Sergei Ivanov, promoting him from defense minister to first deputy prime minister.
The two have worked together since the good old KGB days. His resume isn’t encouraging, and as defense minister he’s often threatened Georgia and other neighboring countries, but I can’t say I know much about him as a person. Two years ago, his son was not charged for running over and killing an old lady while speeding through Moscow and probably running a light (according to a witness who was never seen again). Several other members of the Putin clique, all from St Petersburg, were also promoted.
And Putin fired the “elected” president of Chechnya, Alu Alkhanov, in favor of 30-year old prime minister slash death squad leader Ramzan Kadyrov. Not sure what that’s all about (or whether this changes the date of the next elections from 2008); I’m embarrassed to say I’ve rather lost track of Chechnya. Alkhanov has been given the job of deputy justice minister in Russia.
I’ve just created a new label for posts about Chechnya. I see that in a 2001 post, I quoted Ivanov calling a colonel who raped and strangled an 18-year old Chechen woman a “victim of circumstances.” Lovely.
The London Times reports that, as Spain is beginning a trial for the Madrid train bombings of 2004, the US is refusing to allow Spain access to the Al Qaida leader who was in charge of the ring, Mustafa Setmarian Nasar, currently being held in one of our fine secret prisons. Spain can’t file for extradition, because the US never officially arrested him. Here’s the killer detail: the US used to let Spain question prisoners held in Guantanamo (before the bombings, they were trying to find out about Setmarian), but no longer does so, to punish Spain for pulling its troops out of Iraq by increasing the likelihood that future terrorist attacks on Spain will succeed.
Today Bush paid a visit to his ideological enablers at the American Enterprise Institute, which he kept calling by its initials. He said “I appreciate what the AEI stands for,” but he might have been thinking it was the Affiliated Engineers Inc. or Appalachian Education Initiative or Azimuth Error Indicator or Alleanza Evangelica Italiana.
Prepositions are really not his friend: “there is one principle of which every member of every party should be able to agree on”. If you’re wondering, that one principle is “We’ve got to fight the terrorists overseas, so we don’t have to face them here at home again.”
In this speech, Bush’s favorite adjective “interesting” was back with a vengeance: “One of the interesting things that I have found here in Washington is there is strong disagreement about what to do to succeed, but there is strong agreement that we should not fail.” Isn’t that interesting? “It’s an interesting enemy, isn’t it?” Aren’t they just? “Isn’t it interesting that NATO is now in Afghanistan?” Fascinating. There were also “interesting” stories and quotations and, not quite the same thing, I know, but he said that various things, usually military, were “in our interests” no fewer than 10 times.
Some things are more than interesting; they are, in fact, amazing. 9/11, for example, “was an amazing turning point in the history of our country, really, when you think about it.”
It’s very important for you all, as citizens, to understand the blindingly obvious: “It’s important for our fellow citizens to understand a mother in downtown Baghdad wants her child to be able to walk the streets peacefully, just like mothers here in America want their children to be able to go to a playground and play peacefully.”
“And the reason why I mention success is, it’s important for us to succeed.” At least he had a good reason for mentioning it.
His rhetoric flew to new heights of rhetoricity: “If we were to leave this young democracy before the job is done, there would be chaos, and out of chaos would become vacuums, and into those power vacuums would flow extremists who would be emboldened; extremists who want to find safe haven.”
Most of the speech was devoted to Afghanistan.
“Under the Taliban, free enterprise was stifled. Today, the Afghan economy has doubled in size since liberation.” Admittedly, that gain was entirely in the, ahem, agricultural sector. But of course he wants to put an end to that: “I have made my concerns to President Karzai pretty clear -- not pretty clear, very clear”. And there is nothing more terrifying that George Bush trying to make himself very clear.
For example, what does he really think about poppy production? “These poppy growers are trying to make a living. And the idea is to provide these farmers with credit, and seeds, and fertilizer, and assistance to bring their products to market.” Well, I’m sure they’ll appreciate it.
We’re helping Afghanistan in other ways as well: “it’s in our interest and the interest of NATO countries to provide training so they have more, more strong fighters.” Also, we’re helping restructure the country’s hilariously corrupt judicial system because “There’s nothing more discouraging when justice is not fair.” We’re sending them prosecutors, judges and lawyers to help, because when you see a country that’s really fucked up, your first thought is “I know! Let’s send lawyers!” He says this job “must be neat, really.” But it is a thankless task: “And I cannot thank our citizens for taking time out of their lives to go.”
What we really need to send are some cowboys: “Taliban and al Qaeda fighters do hide in remote regions of Pakistan -- this is wild country; this is wilder than the Wild West.” Like Deadwood, but without all the creative swearing.
And why is it important again? “And a victory for the forces of liberty in Afghanistan will be a resounding defeat in this ideological struggle.”
Some additional points about Bush’s press conference:
Language Log’s Benjamin Zimmer points out that Bush used the term “Democrat” in its insulting sense three times (Democrat leadership, Democrat senators, Democrat members).
Dana Milbank points out that Bush used the phrase “I believe” no fewer than 18 times (Among others: “I believe that success in Baghdad will have success in helping us secure the homeland,” “I believe an Iran with a nuclear weapon would be very dangerous for world peace,” and the somewhat contradictory “I believe Iran is an unbelievably vital nation.”) He also used “in other words” eleven times; the frequency of that one has been steadily increasing for a while now.
Bush said that people could disagree with his Iraq policy and still be “as patriotic a person as I am.” That is, he added, as long as they don’t actually act in any way on their beliefs, and do, in fact, act exactly the same way they would if they thought he was a veritable tactical genius: “Can somebody say, ‘we disagree with your tactics or strategy, but we support the military’ -- absolutely, sure. But what’s going to be interesting is if they don’t provide the flexibility and support for our troops that are there to enforce the strategy that David Petraeus, the general on the ground, thinks is necessary to accomplish the mission.” Wouldn’t a better definition of patriot be someone who actively opposed a policy they considered disastrous?
Another much-repeated phrase, in discussing alleged Iranian explosive devices in Iraq, was the need to “protect our troops” (seven times). But he specifically denied manufacturing evidence in pursuit of a war with Iran: “Now David says, does this mean you’re trying to have a pretext for war? No. It means I’m trying to protect our troops.” But he’s spent the last five plus years telling us that self-protection must be preemptive: fighting them over there, smoking gun in the form of a mushroom cloud, Bush Doctrine, lessons of 9/11, etcetera etcetera.
Today Bush met with Liberian President Ellen Johnson-Sirleaf. He did not use her as a pillow, and it showed.
He pointed out that this was the second time they’d met: “The first time we met you were wondering whether or not it was possible to achieve your dreams, and you asked for our help.” For example, that dream she had about shaking hands with a talking monkey.
[I’m updating with pictures, which I couldn’t easily add to the post when I wrote it on the library computers near where I was getting a smog check.
You’ll be happy to hear I passed my smog check.
And so did my car.
Ba DUMP bump.]
For Valentine's Day, George Bush presents us with a bouquet of bullshitpress conference.
He says he's been talking with Petraeus (aka Capt. Combover): "We talked about the fact that our coalition troops that are heading into Baghdad will be arriving on time. In other words, I'm paying attention to the schedule of troop deployments to make sure that they're there," adding, I'm taking attendance. I'm reading out their names, and when they hear their names, they'll answer with Here, or Present, or Yo, or Surging.
He says Iraqi and US military forces are coordinating. "In other words, there's good conversation, constant conversation between the commanders of our troops and their troops, and that's a positive development." Granted, they don't speak the same language, and we fired all our interpreters because they were all gay and stuff, but still... constant conversation. "What was that?" "I didn't understand you." "I'll speak a little louder, maybe you'll understand me then."
"I fully recognize we're not going to be able to stop all suicide bombers. I know that. But we can help secure that capital; help the Iraqis secure that capital so that people have a sense of normalcy". Normalcy with suicide bombers. Normalcy plus, we're calling it.
"I believe that success in Baghdad will have success in helping us secure the homeland."
Asked how he knows Iranian leaders are responsible for EFPs in Iraq, he admits he doesn't. Fortunately, that's irrelevent: "Either they knew or didn't know, and what matters is, is that they're there. What's worse, that the government knew or that the government didn't know?" I don't recall him asking that question about Abu Ghraib.
Then he twice called Iran "Iraq" ("We have a comprehensive strategy to deal with Iraq [sic]. There's a variety of issues that we have with Iraq [sic].") which is almost ridiculously telling.
Then he went out of his way to praise Iran, saying "Iran is an unbelievably vital nation." And boy does he plan to change that. "It's got a great history, it's got wonderful traditions". None of the reporters asked him to name any of those traditions or recite any of that history.
Asked whether Iraq is in a civil war, he whittered on for a bit, then was asked the question again and said, "it's hard for me, living in this beautiful White House, to give you an assessment, firsthand assessment." Funny, I can tell pretty clearly from my home. Guess it's just not beautiful enough.
When talking about the Congressional resolution, he repeatedly used the word "opinion," as in "they're just like assholes, everyone has one," as if Congressional resolutions were of no more consequence than "I thought that episode of the Gilmore Girls was kind of lame."
I don’t know why Senate Republicans were so unwilling to debate the war, leaving it to House Republicans like John Boehner (R-Joe’s Tanning Salon) to unleash such devastating analysis as “If we leave, they will follow us home. It’s that simple.” See, you didn’t think it was that simple, but it really is that simple. He warned that “We will give Iran free access to the Middle East” and that “al-Qaeda and terrorist sympathizers around the world are trying to divide us here at home. Over the next few days we have an opportunity to show our enemies that we will not take the bait.” For example, one way he’ll express his determination not to be divided here at home is by accusing Democrats of taking Al Qaida and terrorist sympathizers’ bait.
Tears of a clown
Boehner went on: “We are engaged in a global war now for our very way of life. And every drop of blood that’s been spilled in defense of liberty and freedom from the American Revolution to this very moment is for nothing if we’re unwilling to stand up and fight this threat.” So if we withdraw from Iraq, we’re going to have to fight the British for our independence again. It’s that simple.
Speaking of blood spilled for nothing, on Monday John McCain invoked Vietnam, saying that he was worried about a Tet Offensive in Iraq, “you know, some large-scale tact that could then switch American public opinion the way that the Tet Offensive did.” McCain thinks American public opinion still supports this war, that’s just how not at all completely out of touch with reality he is.
Gen. Aboud Qanbar, the guy Maliki put in charge of the Baghdad crackdown over American objections (that’s him on the left at a meeting with American military people, well-prepared in case they start shooting rubber bands at him),
has announced some of the measures he’ll be taking. Curfew will now start at 8 instead of 9, which I’m sure will make all sorts of difference. The borders with Iran and Syria will be closed for three days, starting at a date to be announced, which should be a mild inconvenience. They’ll open mail and eavesdrop on phone calls. There will be “emergency trials.” Anyone occupying a house illegally should move out within the next 15 days. That one would be enforceable if they had records which they don’t have and about a million more troops. In other words, Qanbar is as big a blowhard as Maliki.
A Kenyan high school sent all uncircumcised boys home, telling them not to come back until they’ve had... um... you know... I’d make up a clever word-play on “no foreskin left behind,” really I would, but I think it’s best just to change subjects now.
To another news story containing more than you wanted to know: Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall, is going to have a hysterectomy.
Hope no one’s reading this post on Valentine’s Day.
Mitt Romney declared for president yesterday at the Henry Ford Museum, which was criticized for sending the message that you can have a president in any color you like, as long it’s not Barack Obama.
Bush was talking about volunteerism today. “We’ve got a lot of people volunteering in the country, and one of my calls is for people to do more of it.” Volunteerism is evidently another of those things that Bush thinks only Americans do: “we are a nation of people who take time out of their lives on a regular basis to help a fellow citizen realize the full potential of America.” Indeed, later in the day he volunteered at a local YMCA, where he helped some fellow citizens realize their full potential as props in his photo op. Literally props. Here he is picking out a new foot stool.
Really, I know he likes leaning on black people, but isn’t there a minimum size?
Shrub started a Black History Month event today talking about how in this “special month... we reflect on the many ways African Americans have shaped our nation’s history,” and then immediately started talking about... the Super Bowl.
During the event, he got sleepy and decided to use a black woman as a pillow.
That’s Xernona Clayton, executive director of something called the Trumpet Awards. “Xernona” is my new favorite name. Say it with me: Xernona.
And then he had a little moment with New York subway hero Wesley Autrey, who I’m guessing just by looking at him used to be in the Navy. Also, he’s wearing a sailor suit.
In an interview with C-SPAN today, Shrub was asked what the next president will inherit in Iraq. Said Bush, “A society in Iraq that is learning to live with themselves... a country that’s heading toward more unity”. But it won’t be all heading toward more unity: “There will be violence. There will be criminality. But they will also see a country in which the security forces are better equipped and better adapt at dealing with the extremists.” So that’s more unity and better adapt.
He says that in 20 years Iraqis, “if we can help this government be able to create the conditions so that a mother can raise their child in peace, I think people will look back and they’ll be thankful of America.”
Asked if he will watch any of the Congressional debate on Iraq on C-SPAN, he acknowledged Congress’s authority as a co-equal branch of government said he’ll be busy and “it’s not as if the world stops when the Congress does their duty” and anyway “I already know what the debate is.” Yes, he knows what people are going to say before they even say it, he’s just that good. When you laughed at those grammatical errors earlier in this post, he knew you were going to do that.
He put the whole Iraq thing in perspective: “Most of the country is in good shape. The truth of the matter is, if Baghdad looked like most of the rest of the country, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.” And if Baghdad looked like Neptune, everyone would be breathing hydrogen and resemble giant squids, what’s your point?
He said again that “if one of those endless opinion polls reached into the White House and said, are you approving of Iraq? I would say to you, Stephen, no, I’m not.” I don’t think Iraq is particularly approving of you either, George.
He called the talk of war with Iran “noise” and “endless chatter” and said it was “political.”
He said, “The Iranian people are good, decent, honorable people. And they’ve got a government that is belligerent, loud, noisy, threatening”. I wonder what that’s like. Actually, he makes it sound like those obnoxious neighbors we all had in the apartment above us in the first place we lived after college. Quiet up there, Ahmadinejad! “And so our objective is to continue to keep the pressure in hopes that rational folks will show up and say, it’s not worth it, it’s not worth the isolation.” So we’re waiting for some rational folks to show up. That’s the plan.
The interviewer started to ask a question about Goldwater Republicans, Rockefeller Republicans and Reagan Republicans, and Bush began laughing at the very notion of people still following ideologies from the past, and warned against “stereotyping mentalities in a constantly changing political dynamic.” Thing is, this was right after he’d been asked whether the presidency had changed him and he’d said that he had exactly “the same set of principles that I came with and I’m going to leave with.” I guess adapting to a changing political dynamic and learning from experience are for lesser beings.
Says he’d like his presidential library to go to Southern Methodist because “it’s a great school, and really fine academics are taught there and I would like to contribute.” OK, you can clean the chalkboards.
Patrick Cockburn: “Then [4 years ago] President Bush and Tony Blair claimed that Iraqis were technically advanced enough to produce long-range missiles and to be close to producing a nuclear device. Washington is now saying that Iraqis are too backward to produce an effective roadside bomb and must seek Iranian help.”
Secretary of War Robert was exposed to a blistering attack on American world dominance and unilateral military actions by a cranky Vladmir Putin. “Why should we start bombing and shooting now at every available opportunity?” he asked. I assume that’s a trick question.
Gates dismissed that as Cold War rhetoric. “Old spies,” he said, “have a habit of blunt speaking.” He added that the problem with America’s reputation in the world couldn’t possibly be American policies but that we haven’t explained them well enough. He said that in the 20th century, most people believed that “while we might from time to time do something stupid, that we were a force for good in the world.” Now, of course, they think that while we might from time to time do something good, we are a force for stupid in the world.
A NYT article about politicians finding new ways to circumvent rules about taking money from lobbyists contains this reassuring comment from Rep. Devin Nunes (R-CA): “Only a moron would sell a vote for a $2,000 contribution.”
