Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Bush press conference: Iran is an unbelievably vital nation

[I’m updating with pictures, which I couldn’t easily add to the post when I wrote it on the library computers near where I was getting a smog check.

You’ll be happy to hear I passed my smog check.

And so did my car.

Ba DUMP bump.]

For Valentine's Day, George Bush presents us with a bouquet of bullshit press conference.

He says he's been talking with Petraeus (aka Capt. Combover): "We talked about the fact that our coalition troops that are heading into Baghdad will be arriving on time. In other words, I'm paying attention to the schedule of troop deployments to make sure that they're there," adding, I'm taking attendance. I'm reading out their names, and when they hear their names, they'll answer with Here, or Present, or Yo, or Surging.

He says Iraqi and US military forces are coordinating. "In other words, there's good conversation, constant conversation between the commanders of our troops and their troops, and that's a positive development." Granted, they don't speak the same language, and we fired all our interpreters because they were all gay and stuff, but still... constant conversation. "What was that?" "I didn't understand you." "I'll speak a little louder, maybe you'll understand me then."

"I fully recognize we're not going to be able to stop all suicide bombers. I know that. But we can help secure that capital; help the Iraqis secure that capital so that people have a sense of normalcy". Normalcy with suicide bombers. Normalcy plus, we're calling it.

"I believe that success in Baghdad will have success in helping us secure the homeland."

Asked how he knows Iranian leaders are responsible for EFPs in Iraq, he admits he doesn't. Fortunately, that's irrelevent: "Either they knew or didn't know, and what matters is, is that they're there. What's worse, that the government knew or that the government didn't know?" I don't recall him asking that question about Abu Ghraib.

Then he twice called Iran "Iraq" ("We have a comprehensive strategy to deal with Iraq [sic]. There's a variety of issues that we have with Iraq [sic].") which is almost ridiculously telling.

Then he went out of his way to praise Iran, saying "Iran is an unbelievably vital nation." And boy does he plan to change that. "It's got a great history, it's got wonderful traditions". None of the reporters asked him to name any of those traditions or recite any of that history.

Asked whether Iraq is in a civil war, he whittered on for a bit, then was asked the question again and said, "it's hard for me, living in this beautiful White House, to give you an assessment, firsthand assessment." Funny, I can tell pretty clearly from my home. Guess it's just not beautiful enough.

When talking about the Congressional resolution, he repeatedly used the word "opinion," as in "they're just like assholes, everyone has one," as if Congressional resolutions were of no more consequence than "I thought that episode of the Gilmore Girls was kind of lame."

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