I’ve been willing to compromise my entire political career

Today Obama held a press conference.

He starts by saying he told Boehner “that I am happy to talk with him and other Republicans about anything -- not just issues I think are important but also issues that they think are important.” Or, to put it more plainly: I don’t think the issues they think are important are actually important.

“Think about it this way, the American people do not get to demand a ransom for doing their jobs.” I’m pretty sure Mitt Romney referred to his employees’ wages as ransom.

“You don’t get a chance to call your bank and say I’m not going to pay my mortgage this month unless you throw in a new car and an Xbox.” I think it would be hilarious if everybody in America with a mortgage tested this proposition tomorrow.

“In the same way, members of Congress, and the House Republicans in particular, don’t get to demand ransom in exchange for doing their jobs.” Sometimes I think Obama’s just stopped paying attention.

“No American president would deal with a foreign leader like this.” Ask Iran and Cuba about this, to name just two.

“Either my chief of staff or I have had serious conversations on the budget with Republicans more than 20 times since March.” Define serious.

“So even after all that, the Democrats in the Senate still passed a budget that effectively reflects Republican priorities at Republican budget levels just to keep the government open, and the House Republicans couldn’t do that either.” Obama’s not even looking for a negotiating partner anymore, he’s looking for someone to accept his surrender, and he can’t even find that. Wait, is that a good thing or a bad thing?

“Warren Buffett likened default to a nuclear bomb, a weapon too horrible to use. It would disrupt markets, it would undermine the world’s confidence in America as the bedrock of the global economy...” I guess my stock portfolio isn’t big enough to consider disrupted stock markets just as bad as thermonuclear war.

“the way we got to this point was one thing and one thing only, and that was Republican obsession with dismantling the Affordable Care Act and denying health care to millions of people. That law ironically is moving forward.” More Americans will have access to ironic health care than ever before!

“And when I hear people trying to downplay the consequences of that, I think that’s really irresponsible. And I’m happy to talk to any of them individually and walk them through exactly why it’s irresponsible.” Wow, the president will personally explain to me how irresponsible I am, sign me up, said no one ever.

“So -- so a lot of the strategies that people have talked about -- well, the president can roll out a big coin and -- or, you know, he can -- he can resort to some other constitutional measure -- what people ignore is that ultimately what matters is, what do the people who are buying Treasury bills think?” In case you were wondering who really runs the country.

“I have flaws. Michelle will tell you. One of them is not that I’m unwilling to compromise. I’ve been willing to compromise my entire political career.” That sentence can be read two ways, both of them correct.

Asked if the capture/kidnap (capnap?) of Abu Anas al-Libi in Libya followed international law, he somehow failed to answer.

“I was at a small business the other day and talking to a bunch of workers, and I said, you know, when you’re at the plant and you’re in the middle of your job, do you ever say to your boss, you know what, unless I get a raise right now and more vacation pay, I’m going to just shut down the plant; I’m not going to just walk off the job, I’m going to break the equipment -- I said, how do you think that would go?” And they said, ha ha, thanks for reminding us that organized unionism has been destroyed in this country.

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