Saturday, May 01, 2004

Like, what am I going to miss? The chicks?

AP headline: “Yale Taps Kidney Expert to Lead Med School.”

From a London Times story on the Fallujah pull-back: “"Yeah, goodbye Fallujah!" a California gunner exclaimed brightly. "Like, what am I going to miss? The chicks?"”

Diebold machines are banned from California, finally, but The Nation suggests that the racial purge of the electoral rolls we saw in Florida is now mandatory for the other 49 states.

Seymour Hersh on Abu Ghraib. You’ll be surprised to hear it’s worse than the photos suggested.

On the other hand, the pictures of British troops beating and urinating on an Iraqi are very probably fakes.

I’m not entirely sure the military actually knows who that Iraqi was to whom they just turned over Fallujah. Mark Kimmitt, M.M., says, “I don’t know his background.” Yesterday I said he showed up in his old uniform. It was a Republican Guard uniform. Which is a subtle hint about his background. Incidentally, generals are not exactly uncommon in Iraq; Saddam gave out promotions instead of money and there are...I just read the figure a couple of days ago...something absurd like 10,000 generals. (Later:) Hah, I called that one, all right. The Sunday NYT says that Pentagon officials wrongly told reporters yesterday that Saleh wasn’t even ever in the Republican Guard, and today the Pentagon pretty much had to admit they’re not sure who this guy is.

Secretary of War Rummy Rumsfeld: “It's never been an easy road to go from a dictatorship to a free system. It's bumpy. It's hard. And it isn't going to be a straight path.” Insert your own penis joke here.

OK, so we invaded Iraq to disarm it of weapons it didn’t have, and this week we can’t even get Fallujans to give up rocket launchers they certainly do have. I’m sure there’s an ironic juxtaposition in there somewhere, but it’s allergy season, so you’ll have to come up with that for yourself too.

Really, who would have guessed we’d be this bad at occupation. I mean, how many countries has the US occupied over the decades? You’d think all that experience would have been worth something. And, to quote Patrick Cockburn in the Sindy, “Saddam should not have been a hard act to follow.” He notes how completely the US has backed itself against a wall. “Despite having an overwhelming military force available to take Fallujah and Najaf, the US did not dare do so. It had become evident even in Washington that to crush the resistance in either city - not a difficult task against a few thousand lightly armed gunmen - would spread rather than end the rebellion.” Cockburn has another detail about Gen. Saleh--his car waved the Old Coke flag.

As you will no doubt have heard, Deputy Secretary of Warmongering
Paul Wolfowitz gave a figure for dead US soldiers in Iraq that was low by 200. Every member of the military and their families should be demanding his head. Personally, I think we should make it easier for him to keep track, by carving a notch on his person for each one, while Ted Koppel reads out the name. I’d tune in to Nightline to watch that.

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