Thursday, May 01, 2008

Pause to praise an Almighty

Today is the National Day of Prayer. Make the proper national obeisance to the angry deity of your choice. I plan to sacrifice a goat to Odin, or possibly the other way around (nice enough bloke, Odin, but how seriously can you take a god with no depth perception? And those ravens of his shit everywhere).

George Bush celebrated the National Day of Prayer, although lately every day has been the National Day of Prayer with him; he just will not stop blathering about the “Almighty.” I think he’s realized that after Jan. 20 he’ll be persona non grata with Republicans, he’ll certainly never be able to speak on any university campus without massive protests he might actually have to see and hear, and he won’t be able to order up captive audiences of military personnel, so the only public remaining to him, the only people who might give him the fawning adulation he thinks is his due, will be religious groups. (I should say that the National Day of Prayer is organized and run by James Dobson and his wife, pictured below, along with Ollie North.)

Anyway, Bush said that on the National Day of Prayer “we celebrate our freedoms, particularly the freedom to pray in public”. You know, we also have the freedom to fart in public, but we don’t have to do it all the freaking time.

He did make a pretense of believing that “if you choose to worship or not worship, and no matter how you worship, we’re all equally American,” but then went right ahead talking about “American faith” and defining the United States in religious terms: “I think one of the interesting things about a National Day of Prayer is it does help describe our nation’s character to others. We are a prayerful nation. ... And it’s interesting, when you think about our faith you can find it in the Pledge of Allegiance, you can find an expression of American faith in the Declaration of Independence, and you can find it in the coins in our pockets.” Little-known fact: US coinage is so holy, even a nickel can ward off vampires.

But a national day of prayer is not enough for Chimpy McGodbotherer: “And as we pray for God’s continued blessings on our country, I think it makes sense to hope that one day there may be a International Day of Prayer, that one day the national -- (applause.) It will be a chance for people of faith around the world to stop at the same time to pause to praise an Almighty.” Today, America; tomorrow, the world!

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