The goodwill has not yet been returned

Bush’s Veterans Day proclamation says that veterans “ensured that America remained what our founders meant her to be: a light to the nations, spreading the good news of human freedom to the darkest corners of the earth.” He does know that America is not the same thing as the Jehovah’s Witnesses, just more heavily armed, right?

This morning, Bush attended the 2007 Grocery Manufacturers Association/Food Products Association Fall Conference. Since it’s Halloween, he went as a vegetable.


He had a very important reason to be there, indeed so important that he felt obligated to impart that reason not once, but twice, using, if you will, alternative phraseology: “One of the reasons I’ve come by is to remind you how important you are to our economy. In other words, I’m the kind of person who believes that it’s important for those of us in government to encourage people to take risk and to take investment.”

He introduced Bill Cyr: “I asked Billy where he works. He said, well, I run Sunny Delight beverage company. I said, well, Billy, I quit drinking. (Laughter.) He said, that’s not that kind of alcohol.” A little fixated, are we, George?

A VERY CHIMPY HALLOWEEN: “This morning I was with the Vice President. I was asking him what costume he was planning. He said, well, I’m already wearing it. (Laughter.) Then he mumbled something about the dark side of the force.” Do they really think they can soften Cheney’s image by joking about how evil he is?

WHAT GEORGE LOVES: “I love the fact that people say, I own a business. Ownership is a central part of making sure this country is a helpful -- hopeful country.”


GEORGE DOES NOT KNOW WHAT THE WORD MEMORIALIZED MEANS: “We’re making some progress in convincing people in Washington that low taxes ought to be memorialized in permanent policy.”

WHAT KIND OF PERSON GEORGE ISN’T: “In order to get out of a recession and recover from an attack on the United States, we cut taxes on everybody who pays taxes, because I’m not the kind of person that says, we’re going to cut taxes on you because of your political affiliation and not because of you -- on you because of yours.” I’m glad he’s not the kind of person that says that.


WHEN VEGETABLES TALK: “I think it’s good for agriculture to say, let’s trade.”

EMPOWERMENT! “And one way to become less dependent on oil is to be able to grow products that empower our automobiles.”

PHILOSOPHER IN CHIEF: “Here’s my philosophy -- that government ought to trust private medicine; that we’ve got a fabulous health care system.”

IN OTHER... OH, YOU KNOW: “Under the [S-CHIP] proposal that came to my desk, more than half the children in America could be eligible for government health care. In other words, by expanding eligibility, it means that more than half the children in America would become eligible for this federal program.”

I’D LIKE TO RETURN THIS GOODWILL, PLEASE; IT SEEMS TO BE BROKEN. “I vetoed it. And my veto was sustained. And then I put out the word to Congress, I’d like to work with you on a better bill. And unfortunately, the goodwill has not yet been returned.”


GEORGE BECAME TO ANALYZE: “When I first came to Washington, I said, well, maybe this isn’t the proper federal role; we’ll let the states handle it. And then when I became to analyze the cost to the federal government of these junk lawsuits I determined it was a federal role to do something about them.”

GEORGE HAS A DREAM: “The dream is, is that all of us will have a -- our medical records on a little disk, a little chip that we can carry with us, that will be secure from prying eyes, but nevertheless, will be a part of wringing out cost inefficiencies in a industry that needs to have cost inefficiencies wrung out.” Maybe he should cut down on the nachos before bedtime.

WHAT GEORGE LIKES: “I like it when the after-tax revenues -- income are up.”

WHAT GEORGE KNOWS: “I know it’s necessary to do the hard work now so the first chapters of the 21st century will be positive chapters.” 9/11, the Iraq War, you know, positive chapters.

Democratic Debate: Rocky XXVIII

Obama says that his fight with Hillary is the most hyped fight since Rocky fought Apollo Creed (hint: he’s Rocky in this scenario). That is some damned disturbing imagery there.

(Later: oh, I get it, he thinks a Rocky reference will go over big because he’s in Philadelphia, where, I believe, that movie was set.)


John Edwards was then invited to pile on Hillary (I believe that makes him Mr. T), which he did, accusing her of “double talk,” although I would say that her evasiveness and over-caution makes it more half talk or quarter talk.

Hillary asks, if she’s so like the Republicans, why are they all attacking her, huh, huh? Um, is that a trick question? She says it’s because she’s stood up against George Bush and his failed policies. Doesn’t mention any of his failed policies she’s actually hindered in the tiniest way. Edwards later says that the R’s keep attacking her because she’s the one they want to run against. Ouch.


Hillary says she will solve Social Security without raising any taxes through “fiscal responsibility,” whatever the hell that means.

After Russert invited the candidates to beat up on Hillary, he invited them to beat up on Iran, because he thinks it will make the debate more exciting. He is wrong.

Biden says the Kyl-Lieberman vote played into the “urban legend” that the US is in a crusade against Islam. I think he means that’s a legend in urban areas like Baghdad, Fallujah, you know, the urban areas with bomb craters.


Hillary, like all of them, says she will try diplomacy on Iran. Says sanctions are a part of diplomacy. I don’t think she knows what the word “diplomacy” means.

Oh, pardon me, she said “vigorous diplomacy.” Well, that’s entirely different.


Edwards says, correctly, that Kyl-Lieberman gave Bush and Cheney everything they wanted and that it looks like it was written by the neo-cons. Dude, what do you think Joe Lieberman is if not a neo-con?


(Long gap here where I lapsed into a hypnotic state, but I’m pretty sure no one said anything interesting.)

Biden on Giuliani: “There’s only three things he mentions in a sentence: a noun, a verb, and 9/11.” Nice. Of course Biden mentions about 173 things in each of his sentences.

Asked about Twitt Romney twice “confusing” his name with Osama bin Laden’s, Obama says he never pays attention to Romney, who’ll probably say something different next week. Man, he needs to hire Biden’s gag-writer.

When did Kucinich start talking about impeaching Bush & Cheney?

And then they said stuff about the alternative minimum tax. And hedge funds.

Lightning round. Can any candidate answer any question in 30 seconds? Surprisingly, no. Honestly, if they can’t solve education in America in 30 seconds, how can they possibly expect to be president? Gravel wasn’t allowed on the stage today, but moron blowhards Tim Russert and Brian Williams were allowed to run this debate.

Only Chris Dodd says illegal immigrants shouldn’t get driver’s licenses, as NY is now debating. He said solemnly that it’s a privilege, not a right. Then played a short film strip about road accidents and pedestrian right-of-way. Hillary... seemed to have 3 or 4 positions on the subject – sometimes 30 seconds is actually too long.


Kucinich confirms that he did indeed see a UFO. Obama dodges question on whether there is life on other worlds. Did I mention that answers on education were confined to 30 seconds?

Only Dodd wants to decriminalize marijuana.

Biden is asked if he would advise people not to buy toys from China for Christmas. Did I mention that answers on education were confined to 30 seconds?

Only Obama is asked what he’ll go dressed as for Halloween, dammit. He’ll wear a Mitt Romney mask, which will have two faces. Anyone have any costume suggestions for the other candidates?

As lawful as they are valuable

Director of Central Intelligence Michael Hayden says that the CIA interro-torture programs are “as lawful as they are valuable.” Quite.

Asked if waterboarding is torture, he said, “I need to understand the totality of the circumstances in which this question is being posed before I can give you an answer.” See, and you thought he didn’t have a good reason for not answering.

Thompson and McCain sound the alarm against the UN and hippies and bears (oh my)

I just received yet another email from the McCain campaign on the major issue of our times: Hillary Clinton’s support for a subsidy to the Woodstock Museum. He repeats that no one can be president if they supported it. It’s right there in the Constitution: you have to be a natural born citizen, have achieved the age of 35, been 14 years a resident within the United States, and not have voted for any damned hippie museum.

And that $1m is not the only “shameful spending” in the multi-trillion-dollar budget (hint, Maverick John: Guantanamo, the Iraq War, security for certain senators visiting markets in Iraq...). He also names and shames $74m for peanut storage, which may or may not be justifiable, who knows, but doesn’t strike me as outrageous on its face, and $3m to study the DNA of bears. Hey, I think studying bear DNA is a great use of taxpayer dollars, don’t you? What does McCain have against bears?

An email from the Fred Thompson campaign brings a warning from Fred that the UN (well, the United Nations Sub-Commission on the Promotion and Protection of Human Rights) is planning to come here and take away all our guns. Fred says, “the UN report remarkably denied the existence of any human right to self-defense, evidently overlooking the work of Hugo Grotius, the 17th century scholar credited as the founder of international law...” Also, gun control leads to genocide, as in Bosnia and Rwanda: “Disarming civilians under the guise of international human rights law will only lead to more such genocides by ensuring that civilians can never defend themselves! It would be funny if it weren’t so perverse.”

I will shoot him with your products

Which is more disturbing, that McCain visited a gun factory and said, “I will follow Osama Bin Laden to the gates of hell and I will shoot him with your products,” or that he later felt obligated to clarify that it was a “joke” and he didn’t really mean that he would personally shoot bin Laden?

Or that he seems to have endorsed Thompson Center Arms as the Official Firearms Provider of the Hunt for Bin Laden.

(Update: damn, Colbert did this exact material in last night’s show, which I just caught up with. That’s why he’s running for president and I’m not, I guess.)

At least proposed spending is skyrocketing

This morning Bush met with Republican congresscritters and made a not-at-all-petulant statement about how very, very disappointed he is with the job Congress has been doing. “Congress is not getting its work done,” he said. Worse, it’s getting done the work he doesn’t want it getting done. “The House of Representatives has wasted valuable time on a constant stream of investigations, and the Senate has wasted valuable time on an endless series of failed votes to pull our troops out of Iraq.”

WHAT ELSE IS ENDLESS? “They’ve also passed an endless series of tax increases.”

IN OTHER WORDS: “They haven’t seen a bill they could not solve without shoving a tax hike into it. In other words, they believe in raising taxes, and we don’t.”


PROPOSED SKYROCKETING: “Spending is skyrocketing under their leadership -- at least proposed spending is skyrocketing under their leadership.”

He accused Congress of “going alone and going nowhere” on S-CHIP. “And that doesn’t even include spending that would actually pay for 2 million people to move from private health insurance to an inefficient, lower-quality, government-run program.” S-CHIP: inefficient, lower-quality, and Bush-run (he does know that “government-run” means that he’s in charge of running it, right?), but good enough for, you know, kids. Indeed, he insists on “a bill that will take care of the poor children that the initial bill said we got to do”. Initial law, George, when a bill passes it becomes a law, you should really know that by now. And again, I want to point out that when he appeals to the Original Intent of the Framers of S-CHIP, he means Ted Kennedy and Orrin Hatch.

GIVE ME THE MONEY, OR THE HOSTAGES GET IT: “I know some on the Democrat side didn’t agree with my decision to send troops in, but it seems like we ought to be able to agree that we’re going to support our troops who are in harm’s way.” The frightening thing is, he probably does actually believe that just giving him everything he asks for is a perfectly reasonable compromise.

He also met this morning with Ugandan President Museveni. And his head. His big bald head. So bald, so rubbable. So very very rubbable.

Political exchange of the day: Fred Thompson

At a campaign event in New Hampshire:

Q: I’m proud to say that in January 2008 New Hampshire has passed a law facilitating civil unions here. ... What is your belief for federal civil unions to be passed?

FRED THOMPSON: Soviet Union?

Q: No, civil unions.

THOMPSON: Oh. No, I would not be in support of that.

Obama reaches out to hermetically sealed gays and nontraditional people

Barack Obama called up the NYT a couple of days ago to announce that he plans to attack Hillary for being too poll-driven and vague and disciplined, and since then has worked to make poll-driven and vague and disciplined look good by a series of gaffes, including lecturing gays (oh all right, L’s, G’s, B’s and T’s), who he believes are “hermetically sealed from the faith community,” by which he means that he thinks they never ever hear homophobic Christians saying that they’re going to hell, and are the poorer for it.

I hadn’t been planning to mention that, since I don’t think any blog reader has been hermetically sealed from that quote today, but a Google News search for it returned hits only from gay publications and websites.

And an article about campaigns reaching out to Hispanic voters quotes Obama’s head of Hispanic outreach, Joan Kato: “We are reaching out to nontraditional people.” I think you’ll find, Joan, that Hispanics think of themselves as just, you know, people.

Situational awareness

The now, um, retired, director of external affairs for FEMA, John Philbin, says he should have stopped the fake press conference (he was one of the fake reporters asking questions) but “I did not have good situational awareness of what was happening.” I believe “We did not have good situational awareness of what was happening” is actually the FEMA motto.

Philbin, by the way, has a doctorate in communication from the University of Maryland.

The fun bit of it

Quote of the day, Lt. Col. Derek Plews, spokesmodel for the British military in Basra: “The Arab psyche is really bad at the administration side of things. They just think about the fun bit of it, such as firing the bullets.”

The AP caption for this picture


reads, “President Bush casts a shadow as he waves upon his arrival at Philadelphia International Airport in Philadelphia, Monday, Oct. 29, 2007.” They seem to be surprised. C’mon guys, it’s Cheney who casts no shadow. Everyone knows that.

Inconsistent

AT&T, my local phone company, has eliminated the time-check number, just to be obnoxious.

Can you tell it’s been a slow news weekend?

For example, a headline and subhead on the front page of Monday’s WaPo reads “U.S. Promises on ( ) Don’t Match Actions. Bush Expresses Passion for Issue, but Policies Have Been Inconsistent.” Can you guess the missing word? Click here to find out if you were right. The prize for guessing correctly (or indeed for guessing incorrectly): a deep sigh and a sense of ennui.

Evidently King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia thinks that the rest of the world isn’t as serious about stopping terrorism as Saudi Arabia is. Fancy that.

The Bushies used to talk about the need to preserve Iraq’s territorial integrity, meaning the Kurds wouldn’t be allowed to split off. Curiously, when Turkey is threatening to invade, and massing men and tanks on the border (the subtle hint that the purpose of any invasion will not be confined to hunting down PKK fighters in the mountains: tanks), nary a peep do we hear about the sanctity of Iraq’s borders. Funny, that.

Hey guys, wanna march in step towards the sound of the guns?

Secretary of War Gates, at the Conference of European Armies, demanded, again, that NATO countries (lookin’ at you, Germany) end the limits on the use to which their troops in Afghanistan may be put. “As you know better than most people, brothers in arms achieve victory only when all march in step toward the sound of the guns.” I think he thinks he’s fighting the Crimean War. He also stole some rhetoric from John F. Kennedy, saying that “In Afghanistan a handful of allies are paying the price and bearing the burdens.” He threatened to pull American troops out of Kosovo and suggested that Americans might begin to question the utility of NATO.

He suggested that those military leaders pressure their political leaders to lift those restrictions. Civilian rule is so darned inconvenient.

Wherein is revealed what will happen if you show Arnold Schwarzenegger a hill

Will Durst: “The good news is FEMA showed up in California. The bad news is they came to fix the levees.”

This picture is of a plane dropping fire retardant on one of the Southern California fires.


Speaking of... well, speaking of un-PC segues, George Bush came to California today, or perhaps I should say Kallyfohrnia, since he praised Governor Terminator fulsomely at every turn: “The thing I like about Governor Schwarzenegger, he says, you show me a problem, I’ll charge it; if you show me a hill, I’ll go up it”. If you show him a boob, he’ll grope it.


As others have pointed out, this is a not terribly veiled swipe at Louisiana Governor Blanco, part of his continuing attempt to shift the blame for the poor response to Katrina from himself to her. “And we’ve got a problem out here, and I appreciate his leadership. It makes a significant difference when you have somebody in the statehouse willing to take the lead.” For example, Schwarzenegger took the lead in “Kindergarten Cop” and “Last Action hero.”


He asked our esteemed governor if he still gets called the Terminator. Arnie responded with an amusing reference to his problems with premature ejaculation: “Yes, especially by my wife.”


Bush came with a message: “First thing I want to let the people know out here in Southern California is that many across our nation...” Literally dozens. “...have been moved by the plight of the citizens who have lost their homes, lost their possessions, and particularly those who have lost their life.” Particularly.

If you look at the liberal media and you look at the way they describe it, you could say it was torture and you shouldn’t do it

Israel will go ahead with the collective punishment of Gaza by cutting off its electricity. The idea is that after any rocket attack, power will be cut for 15 minutes, increasing over time. Israel says that its designation of the whole territory of Gaza as a “hostile entity” means that it is no longer bound by international law relating to occupied territories. Which is odd, because you’d expect that pretty much every territory covered by those laws because they are occupied militarily by another nation would be at least a little bit, you know, hostile.

Giuliani says he doesn’t know if waterboarding is torture. Evidently, there might be non-tortuous versions of waterboarding with which we are unfamiliar: “It depends on how it’s done. It depends on the circumstances. It depends on who does it...” There’s your key sentence right there – whether an act is torture depends on who does it. “...I think the way it’s been defined in the media, it shouldn’t be done. The way in which they have described it, particularly in the liberal media. ... And I hate to shock anybody with this...” Just can’t help himself, can he? “...but the newspapers don’t always describe it accurately. ... So I’d have to see what they really are doing, not the way some of these liberal newspapers have exaggerated it.” So he doesn’t know what is being done, but he does know that liberal newspapers are exaggerating it.


He went on to say that torture is bad, but “aggressive questioning” is good. He never actually defines aggressive questioning, but later says that he personally used it against Mafia members, and admits that “the line between the two is going to require some really difficult decisions about drawing it”. He went on to say that the president could order “certain things” done to a prisoner to extract information about an imminent nuclear terrorist attack. “The president has to have that kind of leeway. We’ve got to trust our president well enough to allow that.” So once again, it’s a nation of men, not a nation of laws.


He went on (and on and on for more than five minutes – do click on the link to read or watch the video of the whole thing) to say that Democrats even consider sleep deprivation to be torture. “I mean, on that theory, I’m getting tortured running for president of the United States. That’s plain silly. That’s silly.”

Looking forward

Bush is coming to California, because it’s on fire, and he made a statement before getting on the plane. Dude, when you’re going to inspect the scene of an ongoing natural disaster, do not say that you’re “looking forward” to seeing the governor and “looking forward to spending some time with some of the firefighters” and “Looking forward to my trip out there.” Did they promise him a side-trip to Disneyland?


CONTEST: What is Bush’s favorite ride/attraction at Disneyland, and why?


Although looking forward with giddy anticipation to his visit, he also put on his Sad Chimp face: “I fully understand that the people have got a lot of anguish in their hearts.”

At long last

In part of his Cuba speech (see previous post), Bush ostensibly addressed members of the Cuban police, military or government, asking them, “When Cubans rise up to demand their liberty,” not to, you know, shoot them. He told them, “There is a place for you in the free Cuba.” They might be wondering why George Bush gets to decide who does and does not have a place in the free Cuba.

Speaking of people giving themselves undue powers, Hillary Clinton told the Guardian that she would give up some of the extra-constitutional powers Bush has grabbed for himself, but declined to specify which ones, saying she would decide after a “review” – after she took power. There are several reasons why this is disquieting. 1) That statement indicates that she plans to keep one of those extra-constitutional powers: Bush’s claim that only the president gets to decide what powers the president exercises. 2) In the system of checks and balances we’re supposed to have, it is actually already her job as a United States senator to “review” the exercise of presidential power. 3) Just as candidates for office need to lay out their positions in order for the democratic process to have legitimacy – if all she said about Iraq was that she would have to “review” what her policy would be after the election, she could not claim a democratic mandate for that policy – we also need to know what office candidates are actually running for. We might think that someone was qualified to be dogcatcher but not governor, and we might think that Hillary was qualified to be an ordinary, garden-variety president, but not one with all the chimperial powers Bush has claimed for himself.

Morons of the day: 24 Oklahoma state legislators (out of 149) will refuse to accept the Korans they given by a state panel on ethnic diversity, because “Most Oklahomans do not endorse the idea of killing innocent women and children in the name of ideology,” according to Rep. Rex Duncan, who read all about the Koran on the internet (as opposed to reading the copy of the Koran conveniently provided to him). I can’t be bothered to read all about Rex Duncan on the internet, but he is the brains behind Oklahoma’s new “Global War on Terrorism” license plates.

Tom Tancredo asked the INS, or whatever they call it these days, to raid a press conference held by Dick Durbin for a bill to legalize illegal immigrants of high school age, because he was pretty sure there’d be illegal aliens there. Durbin issued a statement: “Congressman, have you no shame?” Um, no. Has he ever met Tancredo before? Indeed, has anybody who has ever been asked that question since Joseph Welch first posed it to Joseph McCarthy actually had any shame whatsoever?

Bush on Cuba: The socialist paradise is a tropical gulag

Quote of the day, as seen in every other blog and now in this one, from Rudy Giuliani: “I took a city that was known for pornography and licked it to a large extent”.

He also assured a blind man that he has a 2nd Amendment right to bear and carry arms.

John Ashcroft, speaking at a Catholic college yesterday, said that detaining people in Guantanamo indefinitely without trial (which, oddly, he called, approvingly, “inordinate detention”) is “an act of humanity.” He added that inordinate detention is acceptable when weighed against the possibility of releasing someone who might then take up arms against the US again.

Bush gave a speech at the State Department today about Cuba, which he accused of many acts of humanity. For example, did you know that in Cuba it is illegal “to read books or magazines without the express approval of the state”? Did you know that “Housing for many ordinary Cubans is in very poor condition, while the ruling class lives in mansions.” Imagine, a country where the poor people have crap housing and the ruling class live in mansions, why that’s... uh, pretty much every single country.

“Many of the cars on the street pre-date the revolution...” he said. Dude, those cars are classics. “...and some Cubans rely on horse carts for transportation.” Dear lord, there are actually people deprived of the use of a gasoline-powered internal-combustion engine, how do they live with the shame?

“There are long lines for basic necessities -- reminiscent of the Soviet bread lines of the last century.” Or the United States during the Depression. “Meanwhile, the regime offers fully stocked food stores to foreign tourists, diplomats and businessmen in communism’s version of apartheid.” Yes, selling goods and services to tourists is just exactly like apartheid.

People, he said, are serving long acts of humanity in Cuban prisons for the crime of “dangerousness.” And he just happened to have the relatives of some of those prisoners with him, although he was rather vague about what it was they actually did – “advocating freedom,” “daring speak the truth about the regime,” etc. And of course he got several of their names wrong (speaking of names, he never uttered Castro’s once).

He even accused Cuba of probably doing other things that were pretty darned bad: “And as with all totalitarian systems, Cuba’s regime no doubt has other horrors still unknown to the rest of the world. Once revealed, they will shock the conscience of humanity.” Possibly it will be revealed that Castro doesn’t floss after every meal and occasionally scratches his balls. We just don’t know. But we do know it’s pretty darned shocking, whatever it is.


He called on all freedom-loving nations to help the Cuban people by letting them access the internet in their embassies’ lobbies.

And he generously offered “to invite Cuban young people whose families suffer oppression into the Partnership for Latin American Youth scholarship programs, to help them have equal access to greater educational opportunities -- if the Cuban rulers will allow them to freely participate.” In a program for “young people whose families suffer oppression.” I don’t know Cuba could turn down such an offer.

He reaffirmed his intention not to lift the economic sanctions on Cuba, which wouldn’t benefit the Cuban people anyway because “the source of Cuba’s suffering is not the embargo, but the communist system.” “As long as the regime maintains its monopoly over the political and economic life of the Cuban people, the United States will keep the embargo in place. ... America will have no part in giving oxygen to a criminal regime victimizing its own people.”

He told any Cuban schoolchildren who might be listening, “Do not believe the tired lies you are told about America.”


“The socialist paradise is a tropical gulag,” he said. So it’s a tropical socialist gulag paradise.

You know, Cuba may not be a paradise, socialist or otherwise, but it’s hard to take criticism of Cuba seriously when it’s so hyperbolic, and it’s impossible to forge a realistic foreign policy towards a cartoon version of a country that only exists inside George Bush’s chimp-like head.

Fyuh

Singapore’s parliament passes a new law legalizing heterosexual oral and anal sex (“carnal intercourse against the order of nature,” as the old British colonial law phrased it), while voting down a proposal to legalize gay male sex. Plan your vacations accordingly.

The 2nd weekly news-parody podcast by John Oliver of the Daily Show (and early episodes of Mock the Week, for my British readers) and Andy Zaltzman is available and recommended.

Bush talked fire with the Cabinet this morning: “I started off the meeting by summarizing a series of conversations that I’ve had regarding the fires in Southern California. I had a conversation with Governor Schwarzenegger....”

Here’s how I believe that conversation went:

Bush: Fire... bad.

Schwarzenegger: Fyuh... baahd.

Bush: Bad.

Schwarzenegger: Baaahd.

Will we have confidence in the liberty to be transformative?

Bush spoke this morning at the National Defense University. He went there because the students, unlike those of the inferior National Defense Community College, have been rigorously taught all about wars and stuff: “The men and women of the National Defense University understand what is at stake in today’s war. First of all, you understand we’re in war. And secondly, you understand the stakes of this war.”


BUSH CHANNELS STEPHEN HAWKING: “With the presence -- with the passage of time, the memories of September the 11th have grown more distant. That’s natural. That’s what happens with time.”

EMPTY CHATTER: “They intend to strike our country again. Oh, some dismiss that as empty chatter; I’m telling you, they intend to strike our country again.”

A REAL CHALLENGE: “And one of the real challenges we face is will we have confidence in the liberty to be transformative?”

He claimed that CIA torture of prisoners had thwarted numerous terrorist plots and posed a query: “Those who oppose this vital tool in the war on terror need to answer a simple question: Which of the attacks I have just described would they prefer we had not stopped?”


The main thrust of the speech was a call for Star Wars in Europe: “The need for missile defense in Europe is real and I believe it’s urgent.” How urgent? “Iran could develop an intercontinental ballistic missile capable of reaching the United States and all of Europe before 2015. ... Today, we have no way to defend Europe against the emerging Iranian threat”. The emerging threat that Iran will go to war with Europe in 2015. Sorry Europe, but honestly, I’m prepared to risk it.

This is the chance to show it

Today Bush spoke to the cameras to demand from Congress yet another supplemental spending bill for his various and sundry wars, a mere $46 billion on top of the $150 billion he already asked for for this fiscal year. Ever the master of subtlety, he squeezed his appearance in between a Medal of Honor ceremony for a dead Navy Seal


and a meeting with “veterans and members of military support organizations, the family of the fallen. ... These patriots have come to the Oval Office to make sure -- and to make clear -- that our troops have the full commitment of our government. And I strongly agree that we must provide our troops with the help and support they need to get the job done.” See, it’s not him asking for that $46 billion, it’s the family of the fallen. He’s agreeing with their position.

Bush added, “I know some in Congress are against the war, and are seeking ways to demonstrate that opposition” but those ways should not be, you know, effective in any way. “I often hear that war critics oppose my decisions, but still support the troops. Well, I’ll take them at their word -- and this is the chance to show it, that they support the troops.” He’s so good to us.

Harry Reid says, “President Bush should not expect the Congress to rubber-stamp this latest supplemental request.” What a kidder!

And here’s Laura Bush at a breast cancer awareness event in Abu Dhabi. She looks very aware.

Republican debate: There’s nothing funny about Hillary Clinton being president

Transcript. Today’s pictures once again illustrate the many hand gestures of the Republican Party.

Thompson makes a fat joke about Ted Kennedy.

McCain says Romney trying to “fool” people about his own record and McCain’s, says the American people can’t be fooled. Maybe, but you’re running in the Republican primary...


Huckabee says “most” of the signers of the Declaration of Independence were clergymen. Wrong wrong wrong. There was just one.

Tancredo says Reagan brought freedom to El Salvador. I’m pretty sure he mistook El Salvador for Nicaragua. Not right in either case.

Guys, tell us what you really think about Hillary.


Romney wants a “national standard” for marriage. Possibly the Osmonds. Giuliani only supports a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage if there is more “judicial activism,” and so loves marriage that he performed 210 marriages as mayor, and “They were all men and women. I hope.”

Huckabee on health care: “when all the old hippies find out that they get free drugs, just wait till what that’s gonna cost”.


Giuliani thanks Florida for blowing the 2000 election.

Thompson says the Democrats “try our troops in the newspapers”. What is he talking about, the Haditha Massacre courts-martial?


McCain says he fought Hillary’s attempts to fund a Woodstock museum. Says he’s sure it was a cultural and pharmaceutical event; he was “tied up at the time.” So was Tancredo, but it was by a call girl. (Update: as I was writing this, 63 minutes after the end of a debate, an email arrived from the McCain campaign with “I was tied up at the time” as the subject line, so that’s what they want you to take from this debate.) Says “no one can be president... who supports projects such as these.” So Hillary is disqualified from the presidency by her support for the Woodstock museum.


Just as Thompson recently talked about the “Soviet Union” as if it still exists, McCain wants to install a missile defense system in “Czechoslovakia.” Says again that when he looked into Putin’s eyes, he saw three letters (one in each eye?): KGB. In Cyrillic, one presumes.

Guys, tell us what you really think about Reagan.

Thompson says Nancy Pelosi injected partisan politics by bringing up Armenian genocide. How is Armenian genocide partisan?


Er, I was eating during this debate, so I forget who thinks that if everyone was forced to buy private health insurance, the cost would be cut in half [Update: Giuliani]. And several of them said that Turkey was perfectly within its rights to invade Iraq, but I forget which ones. Sorry.

Thompson interrupts Brit Hume’s wrapping up to finish answering a question about whether he’s lazy, says that he’s not lazy because he was a father at 17 and he has two children under the age of 4 now. New Thompson slogan: Not Too Lazy To Fuck, Just Too Lazy To Put on a Condom.

Unaware

In Iraq, the US military claims to have killed 49 “criminals” (a militia accused of kidnappings) in raids and air strikes on Sadr City, and sort-of-denies Iraqi government claims that it killed women and children in the process: “Ground forces reported they were unaware of any innocent civilians being killed as a result of this operation.” Unaware. Indeed, US forces do seem to be unaware of innocent civilians in Iraq period. Un-a-fucking-ware.

Prime Minister Evil Twin of Poland’s party has been defeated in early general elections, albeit by another right-wing party. The new prime minister will be Donald Tusk. Prime Minister Tusk. A Monty Python name if ever there was one.

Headline of the day (AP): “India Official Dies After Monkey Attack.”

This is the proposed design for the new National Library in Prague, aka The Blob, aka The Octopus. Not everyone is thrilled.

It’s important to be a commercial fisherman

This morning, Bush gave a speech on migratory bird conservation, of all things. He said, “I’ve come to discuss a strategy to enhance those habitats, without which many birds could become severely challenged.”

In the picture below are two creatures, one noted for its loud screech, the other a screech owl.



Then Laura unhinged her jaw and swallowed it whole.



Speaking of severely challenged, Bush then went to the Chesapeake Bay Maritime Museum, where he made a joke about the Secret Service not allowing him to hunt with Cheney and signed an executive order to protect striped bass and red drum fish, if by “protect” you mean keep enough of them alive so that sport fishermen (so much for politically correct terms) can torture them with sharp hooks and asphyxiation. He said, “Good policy will help our commercial fishermen and good policy will help our sport fishermen.” Sounds like the fish are pretty much fucked either way. He said, “Listen, it’s important to be a commercial fisherman; I understand that.” Then he signed the executive order and went off to kill some fish.

Teachin’

Twitt Romney at the Values Voters Summit: “The American family is under stress. Is under attack. Ann and I are going to use the bully pulpit to teach Americans that before they have babies, they should get married.” The most Bush-like word in that sentence – no, it’s not “bully” – is “teach.” Just as Bush likes to “remind” people of things that are actually opinions, so Romney will “teach” his own prescriptive admonitions as if they were facts. That’s preaching, not teaching, and he doesn’t know the difference.

If it amounts to torture, it is not constitutional

Another new California law: SB 568, allowing defendants mentally incompetent to stand trial to be forcibly medicated.

Michael Mukasey’s views of presidential power and torture turned out to be Gonzo Lite, which may be my nickname for him, although other suggestions are welcome in comments (I’ve chosen to forego “the alliterative Michael Mukasey” – is anyone disappointed by that decision? Thought not). In the future, no Bush administration hack should be allowed to use the word torture, especially in the sentence “we do not torture,” if they are unwilling to define it. Without definition, a word is meaningless, and they might as well say, “we do not blibblewog.” Asked whether waterboarding is torture, he claimed he didn’t know what waterboarding entailed. When it was described to him, he still said, “If it amounts to torture, it is not constitutional.” Of course, under the Bushies, the Constitution has also been reduced to meaninglessness: If it amounts to blibblewog, it is not blibblewoggle.

I just spent one of the silliest half-minutes of my life trying to decide how one spells the adjectival form of blibblewog, a word I just made up.

I’m not sure why I felt obligated to check, but there are no Google hits for blibblewog (although, not surprisingly, there are for Gonzo Lite).

Tony Blair gave his first major speech since leaving office, wearing a tux and white tie yet, excoriating Iran and militant Islam, which he likened to fascism and said used “demonic skill” to exploit grievances and etcetera etcetera. The Guardian says he was “speaking at a charity event in New York,” but does not say what sort of charity such a speech was appropriate for. So I looked it up: the Alfred E. Smith Foundation. A Catholic group. Was that a smart choice of venue?

I have some left-over photos for your captioning pleasure. The Segway Boys are wounded soldiers.


And these are from an event today at which Bush announced more toothless sanctions on Burma’s military leaders.

BREAKING NEWS: Bush announces a cure for death

At a meeting with Liberian President Ellen Johnson Sirleaf, Bush talked malaria: “Laura and I care deeply about the fact that young babies die on the continent of Africa and elsewhere needlessly.” But only when it happens needlessly.

And he’ll be doing something about those young babies (as opposed to old babies) dying needlessly: “We’re going to -- we’ll be sending a person on the ground there pretty soon to help implement the malaria initiative, and that initiative will mean spreading nets and insecticides throughout the country so that we can see a reduction in death of young children that -- a death that we can cure.”

We can cure mother-fucking death, baby!

Bush press conference, in which is revealed what you ought to be interested in if you’re interested in avoiding World War III

Bush held a press conference today.

He started out with a long tirade about how “the new leaders in Congress have had more than nine months to get things done for the American people” but haven’t done shit.

And he wants to get shit done. “I’m looking forward to getting some things done for the American people. And if it doesn’t get done, I’m looking forward to reminding people as to why it’s not getting done.”


He’s eager to help Congress get shit done. Here’s his idea of helping: “And my job is to see if I can’t get some of that movement in the right direction, and at the same time, make sure that we’re part of the process. And one way the executive branch stays a part of the process is to issue veto threats and then follow through with them.”

Although he does think that he and the Congress are coming together on one thing: “We’re finding common ground on Iraq.”


One thing not on his to-do list for Congress: historiography. “one thing Congress should not be doing is sorting out the historical record of the Ottoman Empire.” Putting the archives in chronological order, that sort of thing. Could David Irving speak about the Holocaust more dismissively? “Congress has more important work to do than antagonizing a democratic ally in the Muslim world.” Because pissing off Muslims is a function of the executive branch. Says so in the Constitution. Separation of powers, people.

Asked whether Turkey has a legitimate right to invade Kurdish Iraq, which is a rather interesting question, he sidestepped and said it’s not in their interests (although he didn’t say why it isn’t).

Asked why he was going to the Dalai Lama ceremony later in the day when it would piss off the Chinese government (or “hurt the feelings of the Chinese people,” as the government likes to put it): “One, I admire the Dalai Lama a lot. Two, I support religious freedom; he supports religious freedom. Thirdly, I like going to the Gold Medal ceremonies.” Gold shiny. So shiny.


Since Bush wasn’t going to answer any questions about Israel’s airstrike on the supposed Syrian nuclear facility (or give a reason for refusing to talk about it), David Gregory asked if, back in 1981, he supported Israel’s airstrike on the Iraqi reactor. Bush explained that he was so blitzed that whole years have just vanished from his memory: “You know, Dave, I don’t remember what I was doing in 1980 [sic] -- let’s see, I was living in Midland, Texas; I don’t remember my reaction that far back.”

Asked whether he was going to declare victory on Al Qaida in Iraq, he didn’t, although he was tempted: “Yeah, we’ve hurt them bad in Iraq. ... If you’re the number three person in al Qaeda, you’ve had some rough goes -- you’ve either been captured or killed.”


IN OTHER WORDS: “And what’s happened is, in Iraq, is there’s been a lot of political reconciliation at the grassroots level. In other words, people that hadn’t been talking to each other are now talking to each other.”

The most quoted words on the presser, about Iran: “So I’ve told people that if you’re interested in avoiding World War III, it seems like you ought to be interested in preventing them from have the knowledge necessary to make a nuclear weapon.” We’re going to find all their physics and chemistry students, and get them all stoned.

But, dude, seriously, World War III?

IN OTHER WORDS, THIS ISN’T WORTH IT: “In other words, I think -- the whole strategy is, is that at some point in time, leaders or responsible folks inside of Iran may get tired of isolation and say, this isn’t worth it.”


NOT SO MUCH IN OTHER WORDS, AS CHANGING TO ANOTHER TOPIC: when asked about the housing crisis, he talked instead about job growth and the declining budget deficit. “In other words, there’s positive elements of our economy.”

Asked whether he was disappointed by Putin’s end-run around term limits, he talked about his great relationship with Putin, and why that’s so important: “You know, one of the interesting -- well, my leadership style has been to try to be in a position where I actually can influence people. And one way to do that is to have personal relationships that enable me to sit down and tell people what’s on my mind without fear of rupturing relations. ... That’s why, in Slovakia, I was in a position to tell him that we didn’t understand why he was altering the relationship between the Russian government and a free press -- in other words, why the free press was becoming less free. And I was able to do -- he didn’t like it. Nobody likes to be talked to in a way that may point up different flaws in their strategy. But I was able to do so in a way that didn’t rupture relations. He was able to tell me going into Iraq wasn’t the right thing. And to me that’s good diplomacy.”

So you told him something about the free press which he ignored completely, and he told you something about Iraq which you ignored completely. And to you that’s good diplomacy.


Then he said something about Russians that is precisely what he accuses people of saying about Muslims: “Now, in terms of whether or not it’s possible to reprogram the kind of basic Russian DNA, which is a centralized authority, that’s hard to do.”

IN OTHER WORDS: “See, they [the American people] understand al Qaeda and terrorism is still a threat to the security of this country. In other words, they’re still out there, and they’re still plotting and planning.”

Thinks he’s winning the argument about S-CHIP: “I find it interesting that when Americans begin to hear the facts, they understand the rationale behind the veto.”

Says he’ll wait to see whether Blackwater massacred all those Iraqi civilians in a good way or in a bad way: “There’s a lot of studying going on, both inside Iraq and out, as to whether or not people violated rules of engagement.” But he doesn’t wait that long: “I will tell you, though, that a firm like Blackwater provides a valuable service. They protect people’s lives. And I appreciate the sacrifice and the service that the Blackwater employees have made.”

Noah Webster he ain’t:

Q: The word “torture.” What’s your definition?

THE PRESIDENT: That’s defined in U.S. law, and we don’t torture.

Q: Can you give me your version of it, sir?

THE PRESIDENT: Whatever the law says.

Still with us

Gov. Schwarzenegger has vetoed, among other worthwhile bills, a requirement that health plans cover the vaccine against cervical cancer, a requirement that police interrogations be recorded, a bill to set standard guidelines for eyewitness identifications, and one to require corroboration of testimony by jailhouse informants.

Another of Bush’s bad actors: Susan Orr, acting deputy assistant secretary for population affairs, who is against contraception, which she considers part of “the culture of death.”

Condi Rice visited Bethlehem today. She said the trip was “personally for me a reminder the Prince of Peace is still with us, and still with me and still with all of us”. No word on how many heavily armed security personnel were also still with her on the visit.

The Dalai Lama is also still with us, and Bush gave his little speech at the Congressional ceremony today honoring him with the medal thingy. Bush said “In so doing, America raises its voice in the call for religious liberty and basic human rights.” But mostly religious liberty, because Bush is willing to decry religious repression (although it occurs to me he didn’t actually name the religion being repressed in Tibet), but not the systematic suppression of Tibetan culture and self-determination. Indeed, in a 7-minute speech, he only used the word Tibet four times, one of those a verbal stumble.


He’s vagued down his message, and that of the Dalai Lama, to the lowest common denominator, and he makes only one demand on China: “I will continue to urge the leaders of China to welcome the Dalai Lama to China. They will find this good man to be a man of peace and reconciliation.” Makes it sound like he thinks the hostility of the Chinese government towards the Dalai Lama is just a big misunderstanding, and if they just met him...

If they just met him in China, by the way. Bush didn’t go so far as to suggest that the D.L. be allowed into Tibet.


Must-read: Dahlia Lithwick at Slate, starting with secret evidence at Guantanamo, and moving outwards to all the secret evidence the government is illegally collecting.

There is no justice or good people in the world! Oh noz!!

Bush met the Dalai Lama in the White House today, but refused to release a picture of the two together (Clinton did the same when he was president).

Tomorrow, however, Bush will be present when the Dalai Lama receives the Congressional Gold Medal. The party secretary of the Tibetan Communist Party says that “If the Dalai Lama can receive such an award, there must be no justice or good people in the world.” Well, damn.

Fixing to see what they call a fiscal showdown in Washington

In a news-humor podcast, John Oliver of the Daily Show suggests that Bush should get the Nobel Peace Prize for the usefulness of Turkey to the Iraq war having retroactively made the Armenian Genocide never happen.

Bush gave another speech on economics today, in Rogers, Arkansas. He had to. “One of the things the President has to do is travel around the country explaining the situation and why things are happening, at least from my perspective. I’m looking forward to explaining it.”

He also explained his job: “The job of the President is to make sure that we don’t overspend, and at the same time keep taxes low.” Just like it says in the Constitution. But some people don’t like that: “Now, that’s not what the leadership in the Congress wants me to do. ... And so you’re fixing to see what they call a fiscal showdown in Washington.” What form will that fiscal showdown we’re fixing to see [note to White House transcriber: surely that should be “fixin’ to see”?] take?: “So I’m looking forward to getting back to Washington and remind people in the United States Congress that they said they were going to do a better job with getting these bills to my desk, and I’m going to remind them they hadn’t got one yet.”



He said that while he vetoed S-CHIP, there’s still Medicaid: “So if you hear rhetoric out of Washington saying we’re not taking care of poor children in America, they’re just not reminding you of the fact that because of your generosity, we’re spending $35 billion a year.” I so hate it when he talks about government spending like it’s an act of charity and its recipients are second-class citizens.

Bush’s rhetoric about S-CHIP contains more outright, easily disprovable lies than just about any other subject. He did not support the program when he was governor of Texas, he tried to cut it back. The current bill doesn’t really extend eligibility to families earning $83,000. Which he contrasts with 500,000 children who are eligible for the program but aren’t in it, as if he has ever done or proposed anything to remedy that.

Then it was on to the Q&A. First question: where could the questioner’s 15-year-old look for truthful information about candidates, programs, etc. That’s a really interesting question, isn’t it? Goes to the basis of what it means to be an active citizen. Bill Clinton would have loved this question and spent 20 wonkish minutes answering it. Bush: “I guess if I was advising a 15-year-old child where to seek the truth, I would say go to your mother and father, is where I would ask them to seek the truth. (Applause.) And that’s really one of the questions our society faces: Will a mom and dad be available for a child? Now, we all have different views of the truth; that’s fine, I understand that. But the most important responsibility for a mom and dad is to really love that child with all their heart and all their soul and all their might.”

Asked how roads will be funded when increased fuel efficiency standards reduce the amount of gas tax collected, he called for building toll freeways for trucks parallel to all the existing freeways.

On No Child Left Behind, IN OTHER (INCREDIBLY CONDESCENDING) WORDS: “I don’t think it’s too much to ask -- unless you don’t believe every child can read, has the capacity to learn to read, I mean. In other words, if you believe certain children can’t learn, then I can understand why you support a system that just shuffles them through.” Indeed, he says, under NCLB, “that achievement gap is beginning to grow.” I assume he meant to say shrink. And as long as I’m quoting Bush talking in an ill-educated fashion about education: “I believe it’s necessary to make sure we got a educated group of students”.

“There are not a lot of Americans who want to pluck chickens,” he sagely informed one questioner. “But if you find somebody who’s got a hungry family, it’s amazing how hard they’ll work,” making his guest-worker program sound really just incredibly sinister.

IN OTHER WORDS: “And on the one hand, that means finding these people before they come and hurt us. In other words, defeat them overseas so they can’t come here to hurt us.”



Asked about Burma, he said Aung San Suu Kyi is “a classic example of why the world needs to work together to help save society.” He IN OTHER WORDSed on the subject: “Sometimes international bodies are non-consequential. In other words, they’re good talking, but there’s not a consequence. At some point there has to be consequences.” However, “sanctions don’t mean anything if we’re the only sanctioner.”

Evidently, “the quality of health care in America is fabulous compared to the rest of the world. It really is.”

HE CAN STATE HIS POLICIES SO CLEARLY BECAUSE HE HAS SUCH A FIRM GRASP OF THEM: “I believe government ought to incent people to go -- to be able to have available -- ought to incent -- ought to change the system to make sure an individual can get into the marketplace and be able to better afford private insurance. Rather than help people through public policy -- government programs, is to encourage people through private insurance.”

I’LL BET YOU’D LIKE TO HEAR THAT IN OTHER WORDS: “Either way, it’s all intended to get people into the private markets. In other words, the incentive has got to be not to be part of government.”

Business is the backbone of our economy

Bush visited a box factory in Arkansas today. Only 462 days to moving day, you know. He had another reason: “One of the reasons I’ve stopped by this facility here in Arkansas is to remind people that business is the backbone of our economy.” See, you wouldn’t have known that if he hadn’t gone to a box factory in Arkansas.



Say, George, could you tell us some more about the economy? “When people are buying this man’s boxes, it also means they’re buying product at the retail level.”

Condi “Call Me Frank” Rice is in the Middle East, because, she says, “Frankly, it’s time for the establishment of a Palestinian state.” Is that what the problem has been the last 60 years? It just wasn’t “time.” However, she isn’t sure if next month is the time for the conference she accidently let slip she had hoped to hold: “We frankly have better things to do than invite people to Annapolis for a photo op.” Condi has better things to do? Condi has things to do? Buying shoes? Visiting Russian skaters?

In an interview with ABC, Condi was asked about the Armenian Genocide resolution: “We have encouraged and worked with the Turks to try to get them to overcome these historical -- these terrible historical circumstances and to work directly with the Armenians.” What does that even mean? How does one “overcome” genocide, especially if one doesn’t admit there was a genocide? And, um, Turks “working directly with the Armenians”... well, you know where I’m going.

For no particular reason, Bush and an umbrella:

We never lost the high ground

Quote of the day, Condi Rice responding to criticism by a Russian human rights activist over Guantanamo: “We never lost the high ground.” Maybe because you can’t lose something you never had. (Yesterday I saw a headline, “Rice Lowers Expectations” for accomplishing anything in the Middle East, her next stop. Again, you can’t possibly lower expectations for Rice accomplishing anything.)

Hey mister tally man, tally me sperm count

People have not stopped commenting on posts here, although it says “0 comments” on the last 6 posts. Bloody Haloscan.

Here’s Twitt Romney’s latest ad, in which he suggests that there’s no one like a bland Mormon to take on radical Muslims:



He says, “It’s this century’s nightmare: jihadism – violent, radical Islamic fundamentalism. Their goal is to unite the world under a single jihadist caliphate. To do that, they must collapse freedom-loving nations like us.” If the world is united in a single jihadist caliphate, who exactly is jihad being waged against, Mars?

Some workers on a Dole banana plantation in Nicaragua are suing Dole and Dow Chemical in a US court for allegedly over-exposing them to a pesticide that allegedly sterilized them. Dole’s douchebag lawyer is arguing that the plaintiffs have dysfunctional relationships and don’t really want kids: “Their stories were so inconsistent with the idea that they wanted to have children and wanted to build families.” So that’s okay then.

Taking more of a risk toward following their instincts

Bush gave an interview to CNBC Thursday, pushing those free-trade treaties. He’s very much in favor of choice, which is why he so often gives us the choice between some words and some other words: “I believe that a world that welcomes US products and goods and services is beneficial for American farmers and manufacturers. In other words, if there’s more customers for what we produce here in America, the better off the producers will be. It’s also good for consumers that we have open markets. In other words, the more options the consumer has, the less inflationary our society can be. And I think it’s good when consumers are able to have a variety of choices. And so I – it’s going to be very important for me to continue to explain the positive side of trade. In other words, people are getting work.”

Asked about Iraq: “Well, I think it’s going – there’s been a change in Iraq because people are now beginning to feel more secure. And when people feel more secure, they take a – more of a risk toward, you know, following their instincts, which is to have a peaceful society under a constitution that they voted for.”

Speaking of taking more of a risk toward, you know, following their instincts, one Iraqi man asked after the most recent US bombing that killed 15 civilians, “Where can anybody be safe from Bush’s democracy?”

Change is change

Former Gen. Ricardo Sanchez calls the “surge” “a desperate attempt by the administration that has not accepted the political and economic realities of this war.” Desperate. Where have I heard that word before?

Speaking of unintentional irony (and aren’t we always?), Condi Rice, on a diplomatic mission to Russia (if by diplomatic you mean being kept waiting 30 minutes by Vladimir Putin before he yells at you and threatens to pull out of yet another arms-control treaty) (WaPo: “Rice and Gates sat impassively through the monologue for about eight minutes, with Rice in particular looking annoyed.” Doesn’t she always?), met with some dissidents and expressed her concern about the increasing centralization of power in Russia: “In any country, if you don’t have countervailing institutions, the power of any one president is problematic for democratic development”. Yeah, I wonder what that would be like.

She did, however, say that the transition of power from President Putin to Prime Minister Putin will probably be smooth: “But I would just caution that change is change.” That sort of profound thinking is why she’s the secretary of state, and you’re not.

Gov. Schwarzenegger signed a bill banning employers from implanting radio-frequency identification devices under the skin of their employees, and vetoed (again) gay marriage. There’s probably a clever and incredibly dirty way to connect those two, but I am too pure of heart to imagine what it might be.

These agreements will help our friends in neighborhoods and help them lift them out of poverty

Bush gave a speech at the University of Miami Center for Hemispheric Policy today, in which he called on Congress to pass free trade treaties with Peru, Colombia and Panama because “I made my mind about the importance of trade and investment”.

What would those treaties do? “These agreements will help our friends in neighborhoods and help them lift them out of poverty.”


“These agreements will counter the false populism promoted by some nations in the hemisphere.” I’m not sure what false populism might be, but I’m pretty sure Bush doesn’t much care for the real thing either. (In previous posts I’ve written about the use of populism as a scare word against Venez... pardon me, “some nations.”)

Surprisingly, he addressed the use of violence and murder against trade union members in Colombia, although without giving a sense of its scale, which is massive. “President Uribe takes these concerns seriously, and he has responded decisively. He’s established an independent prosecutors unit to investigate and punish homicides against labor unionists.” The conviction rate to date has been about 2%, which isn’t my definition of “decisively.”

“Both houses of the Colombian legislature have expressed overwhelming support for the trade agreement with the United States. And now they’re waiting to see if we will uphold our end of the deal.” No, George, there is no deal until Congress ratifies it.


“And yet, many of our citizens feel uneasy about competition, and they worry that trade will cost jobs. You know, I understand why. I understand that if you’re forced to change a job halfway through a career it can be painful for your family. I know that.” Indeed, George himself left a promising job as town drunk at the age of 40. He thinks everyone who loses a job should go to community college.

And of course because he was in Miami, talk turned to Cuba. When the “long rule of a cruel dictator” ends, “nations throughout the hemisphere and the world must insist on free speech, free assembly; they must insist that the prisoner in Cuba be free.” Just the one, mind you.


In preparation for this speech, he gave an interview to the Wall Street Journal, in which he repeatedly said that the speech would “remind” people of things: “I will remind people the benefits of trade for our economy”; “I just want to keep reminding people of the benefits of trade”; “I will remind people that the country was very isolationist and very protectionist in the 1920s”.

However, that might not be enough: “You know, pointing to the 1920s is a good example of what can happen, but that’s not going to help the fellow who is sitting behind the coffee shop, worrying about whether or not his job is going to go overseas or her job is going to go somewhere else. I understand that.” Er, why is he sitting behind the coffee shop? (And why is the worker always seen as male?)

He is very worried about the return of isolationism and protectionism. “We have lost sight of what it means to be a nation willing to be aggressive in the world and spread freedom or deal with disease.” I don’t know how to even begin to respond to that.

Asked about economic inequality (with new data from 2005 out showing that the top 1% of taxpayers in the US now earn a record 21.2% of all US income, with the bottom 50% getting under 13%), Bush explained that the super-rich deserve every penny: “skills gaps yield income gaps.” Evidently No Child Left Behind will take care of that; “what needs to be done about the inequality of income is to make sure people have got good education.” Also... well, I’ll let him express this in his own words and also IN his OTHER WORDS: “I’ve been told that of the bottom 20 percent of the people, half will move up; and that over the last 10 years, the top 20 percent, one half of them are newcomers -- the top 20 percent -- in other words, there’s mobility.”


He again praised community colleges, which he says helped North Carolina, “where the textiles -- many textiles left the country.”

I hadn’t noticed that he’d stopped using his favorite all-purpose adjective, but here it is again: “one of the interesting benefits of free trade is that our consumers have more choices”. “One of the interesting things about our relationship [between him and Putin] is that we both want Russia to join the WTO.” Why does he want that? “And I think it’s going to be very interesting for there to be -- very important for there to be a dispute -- a resolution mechanism available.”

Sensitivity

Oddly enough, the wiping out of 1.5 million people has ongoing consequences. The Armenian genocide is not simply a matter for dusty old tomes, but is part and parcel of the official definition of Turkish identity based on suppression of minority identities and free speech. Yesterday, two journalists were convicted for “insulting Turkishness” by calling the Armenian genocide “genocide.” One of those journalist’s father was being prosecuted for the same thing when he was murdered in January. I dunno, I’m just not that receptive to arguments in favor of respecting the Turks’ sensitivity about the mere mention of the skeletons in their rather capacious closet.

Speaking of sensitive souls, Charles Law, an Englishman convicted of kicking a 13-year old boy in the leg for making fun of his mustache, has decided to shave off the mustache in amends.


(Update: Law has been in fights over the mustache before. And, in a non-facial-hair-related-incident that didn’t make it into most of the articles I looked at, was convicted of manslaughter in 2000 for stabbing his brother to death. So maybe not so funny, especially since he scared off the group of teenagers bothering him by pretending to have a knife.)

Kallyfornia’s Governor Terminator vetoed a bill preventing school districts giving work permits to 13- to 17-year olds maintaining less than a C average.

That responsibility falls entirely on the contractor

Speaking about the incident in Baghdad Tuesday when mercenaries for an Australian firm bodyguarding USAID employees fired 40 bullets into a car that failed to get out of the way fast enough – which is a terrible, terrible thing and I categorically deny ever having had fantasies exactly like it – State Dept spokesmodel Kurtis Cooper denied any responsibility, much less accountability, waving around a contract: “A.I.D. does not direct the security arrangements of its contractors. These groups are contractually responsible for the safety and security of their employees. That responsibility falls entirely on the contractor.” Yes, the contract says that the contractors are contractually responsible. From the Latin contractus, meaning, “Dude, you totally blew the shit out of that chariot.”

Not the right response to these historic mass killings

The Turkish government has issued an order to crush the Kurdish PKK, including military raids into Iraq. The order refers to the PKK as “the terrorist organization.” Speaking of scary words, Turkey is also pressing the US very strongly not to use the word “genocide” to describe the Armenian Oops, Shit Happens Event of 1915. The Turkish ambassador says, “You cannot expect any nation to accept that kind of labeling.” Not even Germany?

Update: Bush this morning publicly told Congress that he doesn’t want it to recognize the Armenian genocide... no, actually it’s worse than that: he wants the proposed resolution to be voted down, which would mean not just passively ignoring the genocide but actively refusing to acknowledge it. He says passage of the resolution “would do great harm to our relations with a key ally in NATO and in the global war on terror.” So we’re going to fight terror by whitewashing genocide. Gates and Condi also spoke against the resolution.


Bush insisted “This resolution is not the right response to these historic mass killings”, but failed to say what the right response actually is. Later, Dana Peroxide informed us that the right response – indeed the only response that should emanate from any part of the American government – is Bush’s feeble annual declarations, which never use the word genocide or assign any blame for the events of 1915, preferring to say that many Armenians “lost their lives,” which was darned careless of them (see my posts on the last two of these declarations, which link to their texts). Perino said, “He’s been on record every single year through a presidential message. I encourage you to read it. It’s quite long; I won’t bore -- I won’t read it all for you here.” She also helpfully suggested that “the Turks and the Armenians should have a discussion and work this out amongst themselves.”

Republican Debate on Economics: Wealth Creates Wealth

Republican debate on CNBC. Transcript. Questions were by Chris Matthews and a Money Honey.

Giuliani: She Who Must Not Be Named (that would be Hillary) “once said that the unfettered free market is the most destructive force in modern America.”


There’s actually quite a bit of Hillary-bashing. Not so much with the Obama- or Edwards-bashing.

Romney suggests that the Democratic governor of Michigan so loves herself some taxes that she would tax this debate. Like that would be a bad thing.

McCain tells Ron Paul to read “The Wealth of Nations,” says “wealth creates wealth.”



McCain on the proposed cigarette tax to fund S-CHIP: “So we want to take care of children’s health and we want everyone to smoke? I don’t get it.” That’s his new slogan by the way: “McCain ‘08: I Don’t Get It.”


McCain is against wasteful spending.

Brownback: we’re taxed to the max.

The sexual tension between Romney and Giuliani is palpable as they incomprehensibly attack each other’s respective records on taxes. Romney used the line-item veto 844 times! Rudy cut taxes 24 times! I cut taxes more! No, I cut taxes more! He raised the commuter tax!


Read everyone’s lips: no new taxes.

McCain: a lot of people don’t know that 50,000 Americans make their living off eBay. Wealth creates wealth.

Tancredo says we can save the economy by getting rid of illegal aliens. Or possibly the other way around: I try not to listen to Tancredo.


McCain: it sounds like a lot of fun to bash China.

Thompson: low taxes grow the economy, as was proven in the 1920s, the Kennedy administration and the Reagan administration and... hey, did he just hold up the 1920s as a model for the American economy?


Tancredo thinks that if California doesn’t allow off-shore oil-drilling, it shouldn’t get any of the oil from Louisiana. After all, he has no objection to oil-drilling off the coast of Colorado.

Romney: I spent my life in the economy. Most of us spend dollars, Mitt.

Brownback on America: “this place rocks.”

McCain says several times that energy efficiency is a national-security issue, and no he wouldn’t restrict oil company profits or make them reinvest those profits in energy efficiency. Wealth creates wealth.

Asked whether they hate unions, and to name good unions and bad unions, several candidates trot out their dues-paying grandmothers, Frederick of Hollywood asks if the Screen Actors’ Guild counts, and Chris Matthews tries to get Giuliani to sing “Look for the union label,” but Rudy just can’t sing unless he’s wearing a dress.


Chris Matthews slyly attempts to trip Thompson up by asking him the name of the Canadian prime minister but, astonishingly, Thompson gets it right. He is totally qualified to be president after all.


McCain said that the president of France (it’s unclear if McCain knows his name)_is pro-American, which, he says, just goes to show that “if you live long enough, anything is possible.” That’s just the sort of comment that really boosts pro-American attitudes in France.

Good evening.

Democracy means majority

An email from Fred Thompson’s campaign manager says that during today’s debate, the first one Freddy is showing up for (the topic is economic policy, be still my beating heart; I can barely wait to find out if anyone will come out in favor of cutting taxes), “Fred will look Presidential and be substantive.” Is there something wrong about a campaign that needs to insist that its candidate “looks presidential”?

Man, I am tired of debates. Pakistan has the right idea: instead of 16 presidential candidates, or however many we have these days, just one. And no vote of the actual, you know, people. Says Generalissimo Musharraf, “Democracy means majority, whether there is opposition or no opposition.” So much more succinct than the Federalist Papers.

Freedom, ain’t it grand

American-occupied Afghanistan has resumed mass executions.

In keeping with tactics taught to al Qaeda members through their training guide

Responding to claims by a released Guantanamo prisoner that guards abused the Koran, Navy spokesmodel Rick Haupt said, “Allegations from detainees is common behavior and in keeping with tactics taught to al Qaeda members through their training guide.” In keeping with. See, the very act of making accusations of abuse shows what bad people they are and why such accusations should be ignored. Just like hunger-striking is “consistent with Al Qaida training.”

Petraeus accuses the Iranian ambassador to Iraq of being a “Quds Force member,” implying without actually saying that he is using diplomatic cover for nefarious activities (“Now he has diplomatic immunity and therefore he is obviously not subject [to scrutiny]”).

He also accuses the Quds Force of arming, funding and directing operations that have killed US soldiers, saying, “There should be no question about the malign, lethal involvement and activities of the Quds Force in this country.” Really, there should be no question. Don’t question anything I say.

Really, malign, lethal involvement and activities. Who do they think they are, Blackwater?

Col. Combover also said that Baghdad is now so safe, “You could walk right down Haifa street right now.” He speaks in the second person because he personally certainly hasn’t done that, and isn’t going to do that. “Nobody will let me do it,” the supreme commander said.

This morning, Bush attended the National Fallen Firefighters Memorial Weekend. Had himself a fine old time.

Not necessarily inappropriate

Oxford University Press is looking for “the word which represents the events or the moods of the 21st century.” Any suggestions?

The lawyer for Andrew Moonen, the Blackwater merc who shot the Iraqi vice president’s bodyguard dead and who was almost immediately hired by another mercenary outfit, speaks: “Being drunk, yeah, maybe that’s the basis for being fired. But I don’t think it’s necessarily inappropriate for another defense contractor to hire somebody because they happen to be drunk once in their life with some serious consequences.”

Wow, what a compassionate group of people

So I went to the supermarket today, and tried to buy one-third of a pound of ground beef from a butcher with a less than solid grasp of fractions. He asked me if a third was more or less than a half; he thought it was about the same as three-fourths. It is to weep.

Speaking of ill-educated butchers, George Bush gave an interview
to Al Arabiya yesterday. He was even less coherent than usual. His average sentence sounded like this: “And they’re making progress that I believe where the average Palestinian and average Israeli will begin to see what a vision looks like.”

He explained to the interviewer that “One of the hardest things for me is to meet with a mother.” Er, I think he meant mothers of soldiers killed in one of his wars (he had met once such mother the day before). Fortunately, there was an upside: “I leave most of the meetings reassured that the loved one, in this case, fully understanding what we were doing. ... And so I leave those meetings saddened by the fact that a person has pain in her heart -- and yesterday she had pain in her heart -- but encouraged by the fact that her son died for a noble cause and a necessary cause.” So that’s okay then.

IN OTHER WORDS: In response to the idea that he is an enemy of Islam: “I’ve heard that, and it just shows [sic] to show a couple of things: One, that the radicals have done a good job of propagandizing. In other words, they’ve spread the word that this really isn’t peaceful people versus radical people or terrorists, this is really about the America not liking Islam.”

IN OTHER WORDS: “The reason I do this [the Iftaar dinner] is I want people to understand about my country. In other words, I hope this message gets out of America.”

THE MOST VALUABLE THING ABOUT AMERICA: “And the value -- the most valuable thing I think about America is that -- particularly if you’re a religious person -- you can be free to worship, and it’s your choice to make.” Particularly if you’re a religious person.

Indeed, as I believe Henry Ford once said, you’re free to worship any god, as long as it’s black: “See, I believe there is a universal God. I believe the God that the Muslim prays to is the same God that I pray to. After all, we all came from Abraham.”

BY “NOISE,” PRESUMABLY HE MEANS THAT CONGRESSIONAL RESOLUTION: “And I know there’s some noise out of here about partition [of Iraq]. But most folks who follow this issue don’t support partition, and they don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“You can’t make the decisions if you’re worried about getting blown up. And what the enemy wants to do, the enemy of a free Iraq, they want to create enough chaos and confusion inside Iraq that causes people to doubt. And they want, by the way, to kill enough innocent people that causes the American people to lose their patience and determination to help freedom movements.”

THE MAIN PROBLEM: “the main problem has been not the Iraqis or not the United States, but it’s been the fact that people have murdered.”

THAT’S PRETTY DARNED HARDENED: “Their hearts are so hardened that they’re willing to kill innocent people.”

WHAT GEORGE BELIEVES: “See, I believe murderers murder”.

“The Iraqis have been through a lot of bloodshed and violence. And yet they’re still strong in their desire to achieve -- the Iraqis will be successful.”

He talked about political assassinations in Lebanon: “And we need to know who is doing that assassinations”.

IN OTHER WORDS: About the Hariri assassination: “There needs to be a definitive moment where the evidence is laid out, and if it’s clear evidence -- in other words, if somebody’s guilty, they ought to be held to account so that murder is not -- so that there’s this clear signal that murder is not going to be accepted.” Dude, it’s Lebanon. They may not accept American Express, but they sure as hell accept murder.

WHAT HE REALLY WANTS THE PEOPLE IN THE MIDDLE EAST TO HEAR: “And that’s really what I want the people in the Middle East to hear -- that each issue is an issue that’s got difficult problems, but there’s an interconnection.”

THE MEN, NOT SO MUCH: “I think one of the great potentials of the Middle East is women.”

WOW: “Our country is a loving country. It’s hard for me to believe that people can’t look at America and say, wow, what a compassionate group of people – because we are.”

We got professionals who are trained in this kind of work

Congressional hearings on Iraqi corruption Thursday. See the WaPo and David Corn articles. The anti-corruption official fired by Maliki for actually trying to stop corruption testified about the level of corruption and the violence against his agency. Asshole points to Rep. John Mica, who said it’s no worse than Watergate, and a lot of witnesses against Bill Clinton also happened to “die suddenly,” so it’s not a big deal. Also testifying, State Dept official Larry Butler, who said that Iraqi corruption is a classified matter, and refused to answer any questions in public.

Bush spoke briefly to the press this morning. First, he talked about the economy and how “I also am going to make it very clear to people in Congress that we’re not going to raise their taxes on the working people.” The word “their” puzzled me for a second. At first, I thought he was saying that he wasn’t going to raise taxes on “people in Congress,” but I think what he actually means is that every bit of taxation should be blamed on Congress, that he has nothing whatsoever to do with it.


Then he addressed the newly discovered Gonzales torture opinion. He suggested that anyone objecting to torture is opposed even to arresting terrorists: “There’s been a lot of talk in the newspapers and on TV about a program that I put in motion to detain and question terrorists and extremists.” “I have put this program in place for a reason...” he said.


Oh, you’re wondering what that reason is? “...and that is to better protect the American people.” It’s just as reasonable as that. “And when we find somebody who may have information regarding an -- a potential attack on America, you bet we’re going to detain them, and you bet we’re going to question them”. For years if not decades to come. You bet.

However, “this government does not torture people. You know, we stick to U.S. law and our international obligations.” And what makes them so sticky? The blood of tortured detainees on their hands.


IN OTHER WORDS: “there are highly trained professionals questioning these extremists and terrorists. In other words, we got professionals who are trained in this kind of work”. Actually, one of the reasons for the issuing of the secret legal opinion was that the CIA in fact had no trained interrogators slash torturers. Although if there actually are “highly trained” interrogators slash torturers, as he says, I’d be interested to here more about the training program. How long does it last? Is there a certificate? Are they certified separately in various techniques, i.e., is there a waterboarding license? Etc.

He insisted that “the techniques that we use have been fully disclosed to appropriate members of the United States Congress.” Appropriate? I want a list. A list of the members of Congress who know about every “technique” being used on prisoners.

He assured us that prisoners will continue to be tortured in the future: “The American people expect their government to take action to protect them from further attack. And that’s exactly what this government is doing, and that’s exactly what we’ll continue to do.”

Of elephants, buttocks art and a death at Gitmo

Another suicide at Guantanamo. By a Saudi prisoner who in five years had never been allowed to see a lawyer.

Two good headlines from the AP today: “Ohio Porn Presentation Has Explanation” and “Va. Teacher Fired for Buttocks Art Sues.” That teacher has a website called buttprintart.com. Really not that interesting.

Everyone’s had fun today with this logo:


I believe it was adopted from this photo (which used to be my screensaver), from a presidential visit to Africa in 2003:

A very Chimpy Iftaar: A history of standing with Muslims facing suffering and hardship

Bush held an Iftaar dinner at the White House, celebrating the end of Ramadan fasting. One innovation I spotted in the pictures: women. Usually they’re stuck in a segregated event with Laura. Possibly this is because the event is more international than usual this year, including ambassadors of countries with Muslims in them, some of whom, like the ambassador from Singapore (15% Muslim), are women.


The Congressional Ramadan resolution, which called Islam “one of the great religions of the world,” passed the House 376-0, but 42 voted “present.” Of those 42, 41 were Republicans (the D was Mike McIntyre of NC).

The White House dinner’s prayer was offered by an imam who is also a Navy lt. commander (the entire US military has 10 Muslim chaplains), Abuhena Saifulislam, who said that anyone who helps a Muslim break their Ramadan fast will receive the same reward as the faster. So, he told Bush, “we have got you covered, man.”

Bush gave a speech – it occurs to me that I don’t know if he spoke before or after dinner; it would be a terrible thing to listen to Bush while fasting, but on the other hand it would be a terrible thing to listen to Bush on a full stomach. I guess what I’m saying is that it would be a terrible thing to listen to Bush. “The freedom of worship,” he said, “is central to the American character.” He said that “America is standing with mainstream citizens across the broader Middle East” against radical Muslims. “We say to them, you don’t represent Muslims, you do not represent Islam”. I don’t know whose job it is to determine who represents Islam, but I’m pretty sure it’s not George W. Bush.

He said, “Americans have a history of standing with Muslims facing suffering and hardship”. In fact, Americans have a history of standing quite near to Muslims facing suffering and hardship. Funny that.

Bush, praying.

Cheney, praying. Yes, it does look remarkably like napping.

Earlier in the day, Bush met the majority leader of the Lebanese Parliament. I don’t have anything to say about that, but here are some pictures of Bushies (including Elliott Abrams) standing around awkwardly during it.

It’s hard to do the hard things now

I haven’t listened to it yet myself, but the BBC just started a 6-part (radio) production of Douglas Adams’s Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency. The first episode will be available here until the 2nd one airs next Wednesday, and so on.

This morning Bush spoke to the Lancaster (PA) Chamber of Commerce and Industry. And answered some questions.

He explained his job: “My job is a decision-making job. And as a result, I make a lot of decisions.”


He explained economics: “But I just want to make sure you understand what I know, and that is prosperity occurs because people work hard and dream dreams, and work to fulfill those dreams.” Of course if they’re working hard and dreaming dreams at the same time, it would be good if they weren’t forklift operators. Also, when Bush talks about people having dreams, those dreams are always money-based, aren’t they?

A VERY FISCAL DOUBLE IN OTHER WORDS: “The job of the government is to create fiscal policy such that people feel inspired or confident in risking capital. In other words, the job of government is to create an environment that encourages entrepreneurship. One of the issues that we’re going to be facing in Washington, D.C. is how to spend your money. In other words, what do we do with the good money that we’ve -- the good money we’ve collected?” As opposed to bad money, where Benjamin Franklin has a goatee.

IN OTHER WORDS: “I want to tell you a startling statistic, that based on their own states’ projections -- in other words, this isn’t a federal projection, it’s the states saying this is what’s happening...”


CONDESCENDING TWIT: “Poor children in America are covered by what’s called Medicaid.”

That factoid is intended to justify his veto of the S-CHIP bill, of which he says: “here’s the thing, just so you know, this program expands coverage, federal coverage up to families earning $83,000 a year. That doesn’t sound poor to me. The intent of the program was to focus on poor children, not adults or families earning up to $83,000 a year.”

He used the words “intent” or “initial intent” a lot, as in: “I believe in helping poor people -- which was the intent of S-CHIP, now being expanded beyond its initial intent.” He sounds like one of his judges invoking the original intent of the founding fathers, except in this case the founding father of S-CHIP was, um, Ted Kennedy.


Later on, he talked about No Child Left Behind and the importance of education, but first... “I got a lot of Ph.D.-types and smart people around me who come into the Oval Office and say, Mr. President, here’s what’s on my mind. And I listen carefully to their advice. But having gathered the device [sic], I decide, you know, I say, this is what we’re going to do. And it’s ‘yes, sir, Mr. President.’ ... I always tell Condi Rice, I want to remind you, Madam Secretary, who has the Ph.D. and who was the C student. (Laughter.) And I want to remind you who the advisor is and who the President is. (Laughter.)” And you know, I’ll bet Condi pretends to laugh each and every time he says that, and grits her teeth and dies a little bit inside, each and every time.

You know, the thought of Condi pretending to laugh and gritting her teeth and dying a little bit inside brightens my whole day. Does that make me a bad person?

CONDESCENDING TWIT II: “This war is really hard for the American people to understand because the enemy uses asymmetrical warfare.”

A VERY AGRICULTURAL IN OTHER WORDS: “I believe it’s in the interest of local farmers to have markets available to them. In other words, a core principle of any good farm policy is for the administration to work to open up markets.”

A VERY AGRICULTURAL DOUBLE IN OTHER WORDS: “I believe very strongly that programs that encourage overproduction are programs that need to be seriously evaluated. In other words, I’d rather you selling into existing markets than producing where there be no market. In other words, it’s a combination -- look, I’m a safety-net person for farmers.”

A VERY ENVIRONMENTAL AND VERY CONFUSED IN OTHER WORDS: “In other words -- and so what I’m beginning to tell you is -- what I am -- not beginning, what I am telling you is that we have a comprehensive strategy to deal with energy security and environmental quality at the same time.”

IN FRONT OF THE WHAT NOW? “I gave a speech the other day in front of the major economies of the world.”



NO YOU DON’T GOT TO: “If you’re an environmentalist and concerned about greenhouse gases, you got to be for nuclear power.”

MORE INSIGHT INTO THE BUSHIAN MANAGEMENT STYLE (HINT: YOU DON’T HAVE TO KNOW THE NAMES OF ANY OF YOUR SUBORDINATES): “And so, in the meantime, however, this border security initiative is still going on down there on the border. I’m constantly in touch with the person in charge. I said, here’s what you said you’re going to do; are you’re doing it? That’s one of the jobs of the President, is to hold people to account. I’m interested in results. I said, you’re going to come in and check in with me on a regular basis to show me what’s happening. And it’s amazing what happens -- I’m sure you do this in your businesses -- you say, you show up and give me an accounting of what’s taken place.”

ASKED ABOUT THE PROSPECTS FOR AN ISRAELI-PALESTINIAN DEAL: “So one of the interesting breakthroughs has been that the Israelis have come to believe, and rightly so, that it’s in their long-term interest that we work toward a Palestinian democracy. Otherwise, the demographics will overwhelm the Israeli democracy.” Maybe the Palestinians shouldn’t be taking advice about democracy from someone who thinks it can be “overwhelmed” by demographics.

“And so one of the things Condi and I are working on is to see if we can’t get the two parties to agree on what a state would look like so that the average Palestinian says, wait a minute, I’m sick and tired of this violence; I’m not going to support those who espouse radicalism and violence in order to achieve an objective, because here’s a different vision.” You know, I’m pretty sure there will never come a time when the average, or indeed when any, Palestinian actually says, “Wait a minute, I’m sick and tired of this violence; I’m not going to support those who espouse radicalism and violence in order to achieve an objective, because here’s a different vision.”

WHOSE BORDER?: “Iran is using Hezbollah in Lebanon, and is worried about democracy in the Middle East; can’t stand the thought of a democratic government on our border; is creating issues of peace.”

SO TRUE: “It’s hard to do the hard things now.”

I was a little surprised when the “childrens is learning” line got so much play, when he commits similar grammatical grotesqueries every single day hour minute. Presumably it was because it came during remarks about education. Anyhoo: “I believe strongly that Pell Grants is one good way of helping families afford higher education.”

But, just as he doesn’t think families earning $83,000 could have difficulties affording health insurance for their children, neither does he think finding the $83,000 or whatever it costs these days for a college education is that big a deal: “My view is this, that if you work hard and you want to go to college, you can find all the help you want. Now, some people don’t like repaying loans, but that’s part of life. If we can borrow some of your money -- if somebody’s going to borrow some of your money, they ought to repay your money.”

A VERY EDUMACATIONAL IN OTHER WORDS: “And so therefore we said, you design the tests. In other words, I said, you design the tests, not the federal government.”

Asked about the twins: “And that was -- I really wrestled with the decision to run for President because, of all the candidates, I understand what it means to be a son or daughter of a President.” Um, Jenna and Not-Jenna were just entering college; you were in your 40s when your father became president. Just saying.

George played a game of let’s humiliate the nice lady from the food bank trying to ask why you killed the supplemental commodity food program (which you can’t even remember):

CHIMPY: Well, you raised your hand. (Laughter.) You didn’t mean it? You want -- you want a little chance to collect the thoughts, you know? I mean we’re talking national TV here, you know? (Laughter and applause.)

Q: I actually wrote it down so I wouldn’t get flustered.

CHIMPY: Yes -- it didn’t work. (Laughter.) It’s just the President.

Prick.

How did this woman get in?

Sorry, I can’t resist (and I did try, sort of): ...and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.

Not looking to really profit off this thing

From the AP, my new favorite news story of all time:

Two U.S. Men Fight for Custody of Amputated Leg

A South Carolina man who stored his severed leg in a barbecue smoker that was later auctioned off is locked in a custody dispute with a North Carolina man who found it.

John Wood’s leg was amputated near the knee after a 2004 airplane crash. He asked doctors to give it to him so he could be buried as a whole man when he died.

The limb, which Wood had kept in the smoker in a storage facility after he lost his home, was bought by Shannon Whisnant last Tuesday in an auction held by the storage company because Wood had missed his monthly payments.

Whisnant initially gave it to police, who subsequently turned it over to a funeral home when it became clear it was not the result of foul play.

But Whisnant, who put a sign on the empty smoker charging adults $3 and children $1 for a look, now wants it back.

“He’s making a freak show out of it,” Wood told The Charlotte Observer for a Monday story. “He wants to put money in his pocket with this thing.”

Whisnant, who was unsuccessful in his bid to get the leg from the funeral home, consulted with a lawyer and decided his best move was to persuade Wood to share custody and profits.

“It’s a strange incident and Halloween’s just around the corner,” Whisnant said. “The price will be going up if I get (a stake in) the leg.”

Wood, who is heading to Maiden to pick up his leg, said the two men can meet, but he is not interested in using the leg to make money.

“I just think it’s despicable,” he said. “I don’t mind having the 15 minutes of fame, but I’m not looking to really profit off this thing.”

Humble, well-grounded, and filled with common sense

Giuliani addressed a group of Republican women in California, saying, “What you see in their eyes is Jimmy Carter and what you see in my eyes is Ronald Reagan.” I’d see an ophthalmologist about that right away.

Today marked the changing of the guard at the Pentagon, with the alliterative Peter Pace retiring as chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, replaced by the alliterative Mike Mullen.


Bush talked about the parents of both men, whilst humorously pointing out that his own mother is a bitch. Pace’s mother, Bush reported, “said the General has been good at everything he’s ever done. Some of you may think mothers are required to say only admiring things about their sons. Well, take it from me, it’s not always the case. (Laughter.)” Uncomfortable laughter, no doubt.

Mullen’s parents, Bush pointed out, worked in Hollywood, but somehow Mullen is “humble, well-grounded, and filled with common sense. (Laughter.) Not exactly what one thinks about when they think of Hollywood values. (Laughter.)” Humble, well-grounded, common-sensical laughter, no doubt.

If asked, by the way, Bush will no doubt tell you that he himself is humble, well-grounded, and filled with common sense.

Scary, isn’t it?


Mullen’s qualifications for his new job, like Rudy Giuliani’s for the presidency, are based on where he happened to be on 9/11: “Admiral Mike Mullen understands what’s at stake in the war on terror. He was on duty at the Pentagon when Flight 77 made its doomed plunge. He felt the plane slam into the building.”


Bush and Pace declare one last thumb war. They will not know how to get out of that one either.