BREAKING NEWS: Bush announces a cure for death

At a meeting with Liberian President Ellen Johnson Sirleaf, Bush talked malaria: “Laura and I care deeply about the fact that young babies die on the continent of Africa and elsewhere needlessly.” But only when it happens needlessly.

And he’ll be doing something about those young babies (as opposed to old babies) dying needlessly: “We’re going to -- we’ll be sending a person on the ground there pretty soon to help implement the malaria initiative, and that initiative will mean spreading nets and insecticides throughout the country so that we can see a reduction in death of young children that -- a death that we can cure.”

We can cure mother-fucking death, baby!