Thursday, March 24, 2011

Daily Telegraphing: lucky bird shit, festering golliwogs, and madcap psychological warfare

Obama is killing me. He just spent days in Latin America, and not one funny picture. NOT ONE! Throw a blogger a bone, already. You could always count on Bush. Always.

From the always dependable Daily Telegraph, the Headline of the Day: “New Zealand Man Proves Being Hit by Bird Droppings Is Lucky.” Man was hit by bird droppings, was told it was lucky, bought scratch card, won NZ$100,000. Quod erat demonstrandum. He said, “I want to wipe my debts and just enjoy life.” I assume that’s not all he’s wiping.

BAD GOLLY, MISS MOLLY: In the UK, Bill and Star Etheridge, a couple who were both prospective candidates for the Dudley town council for the Conservative Party, have been dropped after posing with golliwogs, which were once highly popular with racist British children, and posting the pictures on Facebook.

They said the pictures were intended to promote a “healthy debate.” Says Bill, “I think it’s much better to discuss and debate issues of political correctness like golliwogs than to let them fester.” Because there’s nothing worse than a festering golliwog.

South Korean residents of Baengnyeong island are refusing to unload the 200,000 leaflets that the government plans to put in helium balloons and float over North Korea. The island is losing tourists because North Korea is threatening artillery fire against any sites from which balloons are launched, saying the military “keeps itself fully ready to make sighting firing and blow up those bases for ... madcap psychological warfare.”

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