Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Bush in the Ukraine: Democracies are good things to have on your border

In the Ukraine (which as far as this blog is concerned still takes the article), Bush had a joint press conference with President Viktor Yushchenko, who as far as this blog is concerned is still “Pock-Faced Mr. Y.”

WHAT BUSH AND POCK-FACED MR. Y SPENT A LOT OF TIME TALKING ABOUT: “And President Yushchenko and I understand that democracies are the best partners for peace and security in every part of the world. So we spent a lot of time talking about NATO.”

PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE FLAGS (waved by Ukrainians protesting plans to join NATO): “Just because there was a bunch of, you know, Soviet-era flags in the street yesterday doesn’t -- you shouldn’t read anything into that.”

A CLEAR SIGNAL: “And my stop here is -- should be a clear signal to everybody that I mean what I say, and that is, I mean that it’s in our interest for Ukraine to join. And so, therefore, one should -- but you ought to take more than my stop -- more from my stop than just a -- trying to send a signal on NATO.”

WHAT PUTIN SHOULDN’T FEAR, AND WHAT ARE GOOD THINGS TO HAVE ON YOUR BORDER: “I told that to President Putin on my phone call with him recently. I said, you just got to know, I’m headed to Bucharest with the idea in mind of getting MAP for Ukraine and Georgia, and you shouldn’t fear that, Mr. President. After all, NATO is a organization that’s peaceful, or NATO is an organization that helps democracies flourish. Democracies are good things to have on your border.” Which is it, George? NATO is “a” organization, or NATO is “an” organization? Pick a side, we’re at war!

WHAT MISSILES FROM THE MIDDLE EAST COULD JUST AS EASILY DO: “And on the second point, on missile defense, it’s in his interests that we participate and share information. After all, a missile from the Middle East can fly north just as easily as it could fly west...” Yeah; fucking MapQuest! “...and the capacity to be able to share information and share technology to be able to deal with these threats is important for a lot of countries, including Russia.”

WHAT CONDI AND BOB DID IN RUSSIA: “That’s what Condi Rice and Bob Gates spent time doing when they were there in Russia, and that is to defuse any notions that this is aiming something at somebody in Europe. This is all aiming to protect people in Europe.” We aim to please.

WHAT WE’RE DEALING WITH: “We’re dealing with a lot of history and a lot of suspicion throughout governments.”

WHAT PUTIN HAS BEEN: “He’s a -- you know, he’s a person that has been a strong leader for Russia.”

The US Secret Service searches performers for weapons.

Dude! They’ve got spears. Spears! In their hands!

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