Thursday, April 10, 2008

Difficult but not endless

Headline of the day (Guardian): “Gangster’s Notorious Underpants Sell out Fast.”

Headline of the day (AP) (I wrote the previous item last night, so technically this is the headline of the day for today and that one was the headline of the day for yesterday, for those of you playing along at home): “No ‘Lord of the Rings’ for Man at Gitmo.”

This morning Bush gave a speech endorsing every recommendation he told David Petraeus to make.

He explained that things used to be terrible in Iraq and are now wonderful:
Fifteen months ago, America and the Iraqi government were on the defensive; today, we have the initiative.
Funny, I don’t remember him telling us 15 months ago that we were on the defensive.
Fifteen months ago, extremists were sowing sectarian violence; today, many mainstream Sunni and Shia are actively confronting the extremists.
So instead of having one type of sectarian violence, there’s now another type of sectarian violence? Progress, ain’t it grand?
Fifteen months ago, Americans were worried about the prospect of failure in Iraq; today, thanks to the surge, we’ve renewed and revived the prospect of success.
If Americans have stopped worrying about the prospects of failure in Iraq, they haven’t renewed the prospect of success, they’ve renewed their Xanax prescription.

Col. Combover needs to set and think a spell: “General Petraeus says he’ll need time to consolidate his forces and assess how this reduced American presence will affect conditions on the ground before making measured recommendations on further reductions. And I’ve told him he’ll have all the time he needs.” Also, could everybody kind of keep it down? It’s a little hard to assess with all the explosions and shooting and stuff.

“Our nation owes a special thanks to the soldiers and families who’ve supported this extended deployment.” Supported?

He explained that while you may think the Iraq War is really expensive, you are wrong because it’s actually cheap compared to the Cold War: “it is modest -- a modest fraction of our nation’s wealth -- and it pales when compared to the cost of another terrorist attack on our people.” 9/11! 9/11! 9/11! “We should be able to agree that this is a burden worth bearing.” No? Well then, we should be able to agree that kittens are cute.

GEE, I WONDER HOW THAT HAPPENED? “Iraq is the convergence point for two of the greatest threats to America in this new century -- al Qaeda and Iran.”

If we pull out, “violent extremists around the world would draw the same dangerous lesson that they did from our retreats in Somalia and Vietnam.”

“And while this war is difficult, it is not endless.” The sun’s gotta burn out sooner or later.

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