What Would Sarah Read?

Grotesque Headline of the Day, London Times: “Man Chops off Own Arm Then Knocks at Neighbour’s.”

Okay, did everyone else picture him knocking with the chopped-off arm?

---

Katie Couric, as I mentioned in my last post, asked Sarah Palin, “When it comes to establishing your world view, I was curious, what newspapers and magazines did you regularly read?” Palin, more of a burner of the written word than a reader, failed to name any.

CONTEST: What periodicals might Sarah have read that established her world view? “Moose Fancy”? “Russki Watchers Quarterly”? “Global-Warming Denial Digest”? “Gun-Toting Beauty Queen Monthly”? “Witch Hunting Illustrated?” “The Journal of White Trash Baby-Naming”? “No Blinking Magazine”? “Maverick!”?

Got journalism?

Katie Couric asked Sarah Palin (video below, 9½ minutes) another of those “gotcha journalism” questions: what newspapers and magazines she read before becoming McCain’s running-mate. “Um, all of them, any of them that have been in front of me over all these years.” She literally could not come up with the name of a single newspaper or magazine. And then went on to suggest that the question demonstrated a stereotype of Alaskans as being out of touch with the rest of America, a stereotype Palin has in no way subverted.

Asked whether a 15-year-old girl raped by her father should be prevented from having an abortion, she replied, more than once, that she would “counsel” the girl to “choose life.” I guess it’s something that she knows better than to give her true position out loud, which does not involve any counseling because she does not believe in the girl having a choice. But she did volunteer that she wouldn’t send the girl to prison if she did abort, which I think is jolly generous of her.

Asked three times about the morning after pill, which seems to be the minimum for her to give a semi-straight answer, she said that she personally would not “choose to participate” in that type of contraception. She did not cop to any plans to remove that choice for other women.

She said that she personally would not “judge” gay people, which I think is jolly generous of her. And she even has a gay friend, who “happens to have made a choice that isn’t a choice that I have made”. Great. We’ve finally found a choice she’s willing not to judge people for, and it isn’t really something one chooses.

Let’s call it a rescue, because it is a rescue

Gov. Schwarzenegger vetoed a bill to repeal Cold War laws allowing the firing of teachers and other public employees for being communists.

McCain has a cunning plan to convince the American people to support the Wall Street Bailout: “the first thing I’d do is say, Let’s not call it a bailout. Let’s call it a rescue, because it is a rescue. It’s a rescue of Main Street America.”

He also phoned Bush this morning to suggest that he simply go ahead without Congressional approval. Evidently Treasury’s got like a trillion dollars just sitting around.

Sarah Palin about Thursday’s debate with Biden: “I’ve never met him before. But, I’ve been hearing about his Senate speeches since I was in like 2nd grade.” Admit it, Sarah: you never heard of Joe Biden (or, indeed, John McCain) until three weeks ago.

When the seemingly ubiquitous Katie Couric asked if Palin really wanted to be making fun of someone’s age and experience, she claimed that comment wasn’t meant negatively: “So he’s got a tremendous amount of experience and, you know, I’m the new energy, the new face, the new ideas and he’s got the experience based on many many years in the Senate and voters are gonna have a choice there of what it is that they want in these next four years.”

The new energy! The new face! The new, um.... ideas?

Gotcha

To deal with Palin’s contradiction of McCain’s “not in front of the children” position about invading/bombing Pakistan, they both went on CBS tonight for a joint interview with Katie Couric. 3½ minutes of pure damage control.

Both decried this as an instance of “gotcha” journalism, without explaining how quoting what she actually said in response to a member of the public constituted gotcha journalism. Even if it had, so what? It’s a gotcha kind of world out there, Sarah. Also, McCain noted darkly, the exchange took place in a pizza place, and evidently it’s one of the firm rules of politics that What Happens in Pizza Hut Stays in Pizza Hut.

Palin said “not only am I ready, but willing and able to serve as vice-president”. Which is sort of a paradox: that may be the biggest lie she’s told in her entire life and she told it with a straight face, but... telling huge lies with a straight face is pretty much the entire job description of the vice presidency. All Thebans are liars...

Dude, leave the ring alone, already.

We got a big problem

Sarah Palin isn’t much of a listener. She watched the debate Friday, but failed to register McCain’s attack on Obama for talking about launching military attacks into Pakistan, rather than simply doing it, since she told a student that we certainly should send troops in after Al Qaida members.  McCain had to repudiate her position publicly, since it conflicted with own, and made a heart-felt plea for the right of candidates to say whatever shit they want and not have it taken, you know, seriously: “In all due respect, people going around and sticking a microphone while conversations are being held, and then all of a sudden that’s a person’s position?”

Early this morning George Bush, the President of Fail, called on Congress to pass the Free Cash and Hookers for Wall Street Act of 2008, saying, “Congress can send a strong signal to markets at home and abroad by passing this bill promptly.”  No, they wouldn’t be sending a signal, they’d be sending seven hundred billion freaking dollars.  There’s an old saying: if you want to send a signal...

$700 billion buys an awful lot of candy-grams, is what I’m saying.

He also said that “over time, much -- if not all -- of the tax dollars we invest will be paid back.” See? It’s not a bailout after all, it’s an investment, although with no possibility of profit, only of loss.

Later, he presented the National Medals of Science and Technology and Innovation, high-fiving Andrew J. Viterbi in recognition of his development of the maximum-likelihood algorithm for convolutional coding, known as the “Viterbi algorithm,” and for his contributions to Code Division Multiple Access (CDMA) wireless technology that transformed the theory and practice of digital communications.


You didn’t believe me about the high-fiving, did you?

He also made some sort of devil-worshipping sign with Carlton Grant Willson, who developed lithographic imaging materials and techniques, which is perhaps an odd thing to have sold your soul to the devil for, but then George did it for some “magic” beans.


Speaking of magic beans, later in the day, after the House failed to pass the Free Cash and All the Blow You Can Snort Act of 2008, Bush spoke again to express his disappointment and to explain the sophisticated economic rationale (he has an MBA, you know) being the bill: “We put forth a plan that was big because we got a big problem.”

The trouble with a kitten

is that
When it grows up, it’s always a cat. (Ogden Nash)

The same could be said of cat-blogging, but I thought some of you must be on the edge of your seats waiting for an update. Remember when Christabel came home with us three months ago today, gentle readers?



Well, she’s all grown up now, roughly six months old. Can’t fit under that chair anymore. She’s fairly smart, affectionate, good-natured (I’ve never heard her hiss; don’t think she knows how), will fetch a plastic bottle cap if I throw it, will attempt to eat almost anything (although she only tried to eat the liquid soap dispenser once), can hit the keyboard button for sleep mode with unerring accuracy, runs around like an idiot, um... turns out it’s hard to write interestingly about a cat. Pictures, then:









More here.

British politics update for Americans

The Labour Party held its annual conference this week, and here’s all you need to know: Foreign Minister David Miliband, who had been the odds-on favorite to succeed Gordon Brown after Labour loses the next election, is now widely – and I mean widely – believed to have blown his chances by breaking a cardinal rule of politics: when you already resemble a chimpanzee to a not inconsiderable extent,



do not allow yourself to be photographed with a banana.


What Matthew Parris wrote when a tired Tony Blair accidentally spoke the word “banana” in the House of Commons in 1997, “once you have heard a person say ‘banana’, a sliver of the awe in which you had held them is lost, never to be recovered,” may be multiplied several-fold in the case of being seen holding one.

What’s the Somali for “Arrr”?

Job of the Week, from a NYT article about Somali pirates: “The pirates are highly organized. They work in teams. There is even a pirate spokesman (who could not be reached for comment on Friday).”

From the LA Times: “The governor [Aahnuld] vetoed 27 bills Friday, including a measure requiring commercial exhibits of plasticized cadavers to get permission from the deceased’s family. He said in a statement that lawmakers’ late approval of a budget forced him to sign only the highest-priority bills.”

Additional thought about the debate

Jim Lehrer kept trying to get Obama and McCain to address each other. Was this the first time in his entire career that he’s tried to make a political discussion more interesting?

Presidential debate: If you have to do things, you have to do things

Transcript.

Well right off Obama called the place hosting the debate Old Miss when it’s proper name is clearly Ole Miss.

Obama: $700 billion is a lot of money.

McCain: “This isn’t the beginning of the end of this crisis, this is the end of the beginning”. And he will fight Fannie Mae on the beaches...


McCain says he’s been criticized for calling for the resignation of the head of the SEC. Actually, Johnny, you’ve been criticized for saying you would fire him, a power you didn’t know the president doesn’t have.

McCain believes in the “goodness and strength of the American worker”.

Christ, he’s going on about the study of bear DNA again.

McCain: I didn’t win Miss Congeniality in the Senate. You’d think he’d have dropped that line after picking a running mate who actually did win Miss Congeniality, but he’s really rolling out each and every sound bite he’s got (“I will make them famous, and you will know their names,” “I looked into Putin’s eyes and saw three letters,” etc).

Obama says we’ll be energy self-sufficient in ten years. Nonsense.


McCain on Obama: “It’s hard to reach across the aisle from that far to the left.”

What are the lessons of Iraq? McCain: “you cannot have a failed strategy that will then cause you to nearly lose a conflict.” So what he’s learned in the last five years – hey, I just realized: we’ve been in Iraq about as long as McCain was a POW -- what he’s learned is that you shouldn’t have a failed strategy. I know he was a crappy student at Annapolis, but couldn’t they have taught him that a failed strategy is, you know, bad, because of the, you know, failure and stuff?

Obama says the lesson is that we shouldn’t have gone in in the first place.


O. says McC wants to pretend the war started in 2007. (Personally I want to pretend it stopped in 2007. Or 2003. Or before it started.)

Obama says the “surge” was “a tactic designed to contain the damage of the previous four years of mismanagement of this war.” McCain’s snide riposte: “I’m afraid Sen. Obama doesn’t understand the difference between a tactic and a strategy.” Obama: I do so.

Throughout, McCain is condescending like that. That smirk visible on split-screen whenever Obama was talking is more obnoxious than Gore’s sighing ever was.


McCain upbraids Obama for talking about sending troops into Pakistan. Not for planning to do it, mind you: for talking about it. “You don’t do that. You don’t say that out loud. If you have to do things, you have to do things. ... I guarantee you, I would not publicly state that I would attack them.”

Obama says we lost legitimacy in Pakistan because we supported Musharraf. McCain defends supporting a military dictator, indeed supports the coup, because Pakistan was a “failed state.” Five minutes later he brings up his silly “League of Democracies” idea, with no evident sense of the contradiction.

On Iran, McCain: “We cannot allow a second Holocaust, let’s make that clear.” Okay, that’s clear. I guess they’ve focus-grouped the phrase “second Holocaust.” Obama should really stop supporting a second Holocaust, it’s probably not a big vote-getter in Florida.

Now they’re arguing about whether it’s okay to negotiate with Iran. Sigh. Obama: “The notion that we would sit with Ahmadinejad and not say anything while he’s spewing his nonsense and his vile comments is ridiculous.” McCain: “So let me get this right. We sit down with Ahmadinejad, and he says ‘We’re gonna wipe Israel off the face of the earth,’ and we say, ‘No you’re not.’? Oh please.”


McCain, trying a little too hard: “I know the veterans. I know them well. And I know that they know that I’ll take care of them. And I’ve been proud of their support and their recognition of my service to the veterans. And I love them. And I’ll take care of them. And they know that I’ll take care of them. And that’s going to be my job.”

WHAT MCCAIN KNOWS HOW TO DO: “I know how to heal the wounds of war, I know how to deal with our adversaries, and I know how to deal with our friends.”

I’ve yelled at times, but you’ve always been smiling

Today, Bush met with Hamid Karzai, whose country may be going through its seventh year of war and occupation, but Bush is having a fine time: “I’ve had a grand experience in dealing with President Karzai.”


Possibly because Karzai, at least in his public statement sitting next to Bush, didn’t mention all the recent civilian casualties he usually claims to hate, and just profusely thanked him and the US. Not that it would make a difference if he did bring it up: “It’s an honor to have associated with you, to have had your friendship, and to have had your support, and to have had your patience with me. Very, very nice of you. I’ve yelled at times, I’ve been angry at times, but you’ve always been smiling and generous, and just so nice.” That must be so incredibly annoying, him just smiling stupidly while you’re yelling at him. Reminds me of my last cat.


Then he met with Not-Tony-Blair, Prime Minister Brown (Brown by name, brown by nature).

GREAT: “The United States has got a great friendship with Great Britain.”

ASKED AND ANSWERED: “What the Prime Minister wants to know is, is the plan we’ve devised big enough to make a difference, and is it going to be passed. And I told him the plan is big enough to make a difference and I believe it is going to be passed.”


Brown: “We talked about a number of issues -- Iraq, Afghanistan, the trade talks, what’s happening in Russia vis-a-vis, I think, Georgia, and about the general situation in the world economy.” He thinks Georgia? Is no one even pretending to listen to Bush anymore?

ALWAYS? BECAUSE I DON’T THINK “DON’T SHOOT UNTIL YOU SEE THE WHITES OF THEIR EYES” COUNTS AS “STANDING TOGETHER”: Brown: “America and Britain have always stood together as one in times of difficulty and challenge.”

I didn’t grow up in the ocean

Bush made a statement this morning on the Wall Street bailout, saying that basically nothing was happening. “And we need a rescue plan. This is -- it’s hard work.”


OH, THAT’S DIRTY: “The legislative process is sometimes not very pretty, but we are going to get a package passed. We will rise to the occasion.” Just so dirty.

Then it was on to the Smithsonian to talk about oceans.

HE’S NOT AQUAMAN: “First of all, you got to know I like oceans. I didn’t grow up in the ocean -- as a matter of fact -- near the ocean -- I grew up in the desert. Therefore, it was a pleasant contrast to see the ocean.”

Feel the Whoo hoo

Bloomberg: “JP Morgan Chase & Co., the third-biggest U.S. bank by assets, agreed to acquire Washington Mutual Inc.’s deposits and branches for $1.9 billion...”

I’m sorry, they agreed to “acquire” whose fucking deposits? Because I’m pretty sure some of that is my fucking money you’re talking about.

Some people would blame over-expansion, or its increasingly risky mortgages in an increasingly shaky housing market. Still more say it was doomed the moment it started calling itself WaMu (actual slogan, up on its website right now: “Feel the Whoo hoo!™”)(“feeling the Whoo hoo” is actually illegal in many states). Me, I’d go further back, to this moment.

I simply must quote the WaPo about WaMu: in their story on this, they bury this at the very end: “The Washington Mutual-J.P. Morgan deal is not subject to any of the reviews that normally attend a major bank merger. ‘When you have a failing institution, you don’t have time for that,’ [FDIC chair] Bair said.” How very reassuring.

Incidentally, a lot of people have been bringing up McCain’s membership in the Keating Five lately, but let’s also remember Bush’s brother Neil’s adventures in the savings and loan field.

The Sarah Silverman “Great Schlep” video, in case you’ve somehow missed it.

As Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where do they go? It’s Alaska.

Before the conference with congresscritters over the Wall Street bailout, Bush spoke to the cameras.

WHAT HE WANTS TO THANK: “I want to thank the spirit of bipartisan cooperation that’s taking place here in Washington.”



Sarah Palin went to Ground Zero today to thank the spirit of 9/11, or something.

NEVER FORGETTING: “Every American student needs to come through this area so that, especially this younger generation of Americans is, to be in a position of never forgetting what happened here and never repeating, never allowing a repeat of what happened here.”

And there’s more to that Katie Couric interview with Sarah Palin (note: the link is to excerpts, not a complete transcript, but CBS doesn’t make that clear). 10½ car-crash-can’t-turn-your-eyes-away minutes.



NOT A PART OF THAT CULTURE: Asked why she never had a passport before 2007, she said, well, she hadda work, doncha know, and “I was not a part of, I guess, that culture. The way that I have understood the world is through education, through books, through mediums that have provided me a lot of perspective on the world.” Careful about mentioning the mediums, Sarah, that pastor fella will probably try to burn them as witches.

Why will a “surge” work in Afghanistan? “Because we can’t afford to lose in Afghanistan”. Another one who thinks that saying “failure isn’t an option” is a magical talisman.


PUTIN REARS HIS HEAD INTO THE AIR SPACE OF THE UNITED STATES: Why does being able to see Russia from your house make you a foreign policy expert? (4:11 – you have to watch this part for her intonation and hand gestures) “Well, it certainly does, because our, our next-door neighbors are foreign countries, there in the state that I am the executive of. ... As Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where do they go? It’s Alaska. It’s just right over the border. It is from Alaska that we send those out to make sure that an eye is being kept on this very powerful nation, Russia, because they are right there, they are right next to our state.”

On Ahmadinejad (whose name she pronounced perfectly; who says she hasn’t learned anything in her two-week crash course): “We’re hearing the evil that he speaks.”

WHAT SHE’S NEVER HEARD: “I’ve never heard Henry Kissinger say, ‘Yeah, I’ll meet with these leaders without preconditions being met.’” Yeah, I think when you met him, Henry had other... priorities.



NO SECOND GUESSING, NO SECOND HOLOCAUST: “We shouldn’t second-guess Israel’s security efforts because we cannot ever afford to send a message that we would allow a second Holocaust, for one.” But, Katie asked, can’t the US even express an opinion? Oh, sez Sarah, we can express our concerns, just not second-guess. Huh? sez Katie. “We don’t have to second-guess what their efforts would be if they believe that it is in their country and their allies, including us, all of our best interests to fight against a regime, especially Iran, who would seek to wipe them off the face of the earth.”

WHO ARE THE GOOD GUYS IN HER WORLD: “It is obvious to me who the good guys are in this one and who the bad guys are. The bad guys are the ones who say Israel is a stinking corpse and should be wiped off the face of the earth. That’s not a good guy who is saying that. Now, one who would seek to protect the good guys in this, the leaders of Israel and her friends, her allies, including the United States, in my world, those are the good guys.”

It’s hard work to get a state after all these years

This morning, Bush took some time out from solving the financial crisis to meet with Lebanese President Michel Suleiman.


WHAT LEBANESE-AMERICANS CARE DEEPLY ABOUT: “There are a lot of Lebanese Americans who are paying attention to this visit. They care deeply about their ancestors.”



Later, he met Palestinian President Abbas.

TALKING ABOUT, YOU KNOW, PRESIDENT STUFF: “You and I have met a lot since I have been the president and you have been the president.”

IT’S HARD WORK: “no doubt it must be frustrating at times for you, because it’s hard work to get a state after all these years.”

WHAT THERE IS A FIRM DETERMINATION TO DO: “But nevertheless, there is a firm determination on your part and on my part to give the Palestinians a place where there can be dignity and hope.” So they met in the Bush White House?

Bush address on the financial crisis: These are not normal circumstances

Bush spoke, robotically, to the nation.

WHAT OVER THE PAST FEW WEEKS MANY AMERICANS HAVE FELT: “Over the past few weeks many Americans have felt anxieties about their finances and their future.” John McCain, for example, is worried about his future; everyone else is worried about their finances. (That semi colon was in celebration of National Punctuation Day).

A LOOOONG PERIOD, NOT MY FAULT AT ALL: “Well, most economists agree that the problems we are witnessing today developed over a long period of time.”

HE WAS FOR IRRESPONSIBLE ACTION BEFORE HE WAS AGAINST IT: “I faced a choice: To step in with dramatic government action, or to stand back and allow the irresponsible actions of some to undermine the financial security of all.”

NOT NORMAL CIRCUMSTANCES? YOU’RE PLANNING TO GRAB BILLIONS FROM THE TAXPAYERS AND GIVE THEM TO YOUR RICH FRIENDS. SOUNDS LIKE NORMAL CIRCUMSTANCES TO ME. “I’m a strong believer in free enterprise. So my natural instinct is to oppose government intervention. I believe companies that make bad decisions should be allowed to go out of business. Under normal circumstances, I would have followed this course. But these are not normal circumstances. The market is not functioning properly. There’s been a widespread loss of confidence.” I wonder why....


THE GOVERNMENT HAS PATIENCE, SEE? SO PASS MY BILL NOW! NOW! NOW! NOOOOOWWWWWW!!!! “The government is the one institution with the patience and resources to buy these assets at their current low prices and hold them until markets return to normal.”

MORE FINANCIAL BUBBLES FOR EVERYONE! “As they do, they must ensure that efforts to regulate Wall Street do not end up hampering our economy’s ability to grow.”

SO THAT’S OKAY THEN: “Despite corrections in the marketplace and instances of abuse, democratic capitalism is the best system ever devised.”

Every form of witchcraft is what you rebuke

Palin and the witch-hunter pastor Thomas Muthee.

I’ll try to find you some and I’ll bring them to ya

Sarah Palin was interviewed by Katie Couric today. 5:40, if you want to watch the Palin-Couric perky-off



She defended McCain campaign manager Rick Davis, saying he “recused himself from the dealings with Freddie and Fannie, any lobbying efforts on his part there.” Since Davis was being paid by Freddie Mac, I don’t think she knows what the word recused means.

WHAT SHE’S ILL ABOUT: “I’m ill about the position that America is in and that we have to look at a $700 billion bailout.” CBS, whose transcription was a touch spotty, has that line as “I’m all about the position that America is in”.

She claims that “Americans are waiting to see what John McCain will do on this proposal. They’re not waiting to see what Barack Obama is going to do.” She’s right: for the last several days I for one have just been sitting on the living room floor in my underwear waiting to see what John McCain will do on this proposal, without eating, sleeping, bathing. The cat is getting worried about me.

I kid. Of course the cat isn’t getting worried about me.

She says we may be on the road to another Great Depression (Palin says that, not my cat).

Asked to name examples of John McCain leading the charge for stricter oversight in the past 26 years, bar one mention two years ago, Palin said “That’s more than a heck of a lot of other senators and representatives did for us.” Pushed further she added, irrelevantly, “He’s also known as the maverick though, taking shots from his own party... trying to get people to understand what he’s been talking about - the need to reform government.” Pressed again by the perkily persistent Couric for actual, you know, examples of that mavericity in relation to financial oversight, she again dodged, whittering on about his “foresight, his pragmatism, and his leadership abilities.” Asked one last time for concrete examples, she meekly replied, “I’ll try to find you some and I’ll bring them to ya.”

I know the McCain people insisted that in the veep debates responses be limited to 90 seconds, but I think Palin will find that 90 seconds can be very long indeed.

(Update: is it just me or, when Palin said that last line, did she sound just like Catherine O’Hara playing some clueless but chipper character in a Christopher Guest film?)

These agreements are mutually benefit

Today Bush met in New York with leaders of countries in the Western Hemisphere, and talked about trade.

IN OTHER WORDS: “In the five years since the free trade agreement between the United States and Chile took effect, trade between our two nations has increased by more than 180 percent. And that’s positive. In other words, these agreements are mutually benefit.”

OBVIOUSLY: “There are three free trade agreements pending in the Congress today: South Korea, Panama and Colombia. Obviously, two of those are with nations in our own hemisphere.”

“The Colombia free trade agreement will be good for Colombia; it will be good for America ... and Congress needs to pass it. The Panamanian agreement is good for Panama, it’s good for America, and Congress ought to pass that agreement, too.” He did not say whether the South Korean agreement is good for South Korea, good for America and whether Congress ought to pass it. Now we may never know.

Bush and the UN and the Almighty and the universality of freedom

In the afternoon, Bush, along with Laura and Condi, met with various dissidents from Russia, Burma and I don’t know where else (not from the US, of course), then posed with them with the Statue of Liberty in the background, which is kind of faulty imagery because they want to breathe free in their own countries, not here. Bush said of the meeting, “I assured them that this government, my government, believes in the universality of freedom. We believe there’s an Almighty, and a gift of that Almighty to every man, woman and child is freedom.” So Bush’s government, his government, believes there’s an Almighty. It’s official.

“Say there, little guy, you Buddhist types don’t believe in an Almighty, do you? Then how can you believe in freedom, I don’t get it.”

To further show his commitment to freedom and democracy, later in the afternoon Bush met with Ugandan President Museveni, who he praised as a “strong leader,” which I guess is one way of putting it.


He praised Uganda’s efforts against AIDS: “infection rate went from a lot to, you know, a much smaller number.” I trust Bush will apply that same command of higher mathematics to the financial situation.

In the evening, he met Iraqi President Talabani.


NO DOUBT: “there is no doubt that the situation in Iraq has changed substantially. There’s no doubt that mothers are able to send their child to school without fear of carnage.”


In his next sentence, see if you can spot the word that gives something away: “Oh, there are still killers amongst your -- in your midst, but your government has been steadfast in bringing people to justice who are trying to undermine your democracy.” The word is “Oh.” Re-read that sentence, and imagine if the leader of a country whose troops invaded and occupied your nation spoke of the continuance of murder so dismissively.

When citizens around the world suffer, we suffer with them

Bush is hanging out at the UN today. Oh good.

This morning, he met new Pakistani President Zardari (aka, Mr. Benazir Bhutto). He expressed condolences from the “collective heart of the American people” about the weekend bombing in Islamabad that the collective brain of the American people never heard about or paid attention to.

WHAT WE WANT: “We want our friends around the world to be making a good living.”


Later, he attended a meeting on food security, a personal concern of his since that pretzel tried to kill him.

“The United States is a compassionate nation,” he proclaimed. “When citizens around the world suffer, we suffer with them.” And when they go hungry, we...um...

But we’re doing something about it. “We’ve committed about $5 billion of taxpayers’ money over the next two years to make sure people don’t go hungry.” In fact, CEOs of financial institutions will get $5 billion each just to make really quite sure that they never have to miss a meal.

It’s just not the week to really impress anybody with that $5 billion figure, is what I’m saying.

And he addressed the UN General Assembly. He told it that “the ideals of the Charter are now facing a challenge as serious as any since the U.N.’s founding -- a global movement of violent extremists. By deliberately murdering the innocent to advance their aims, these extremists defy the fundamental principles of international order.” Dude, murdering the innocent to advance aims is the fundamental principle of international order. You could look it up.


Anyway, the speech was about how terrorism is bad and should be dealt with pre-emptively, democracy and freedom are good, “clarity of vision” is required and so on.

See if you can spot the word that gives something away: “In the decades ahead, the United Nations and other multilateral organizations must continually confront terror. This mission requires clarity of vision. We must see the terrorists for what they are: ruthless extremists who exploit the desperate, subvert the tenets of a great religion, and seek to impose their will on as many people as possible.” The word was “a” in “a great religion.” Just one religion. He’s pretending to be talking about the evils of terrorism, but what he means is Muslims.


WHAT SOME MAY BE TEMPTED TO ASSUME: “As the 21st century unfolds, some may be tempted to assume that the threat has receded. This would be comforting; it would be wrong.” How does he know what will happen as the 21st century unfolds? “The terrorists believe time is on their side, so they made waiting out civilized nations part of their strategy.” See, they’re especially dangerous when they’re not doing anything at all.

WHO SOME? WHAT SOME? WE WANT NAMES ALREADY. “Some question whether people in certain parts of the world actually desire freedom.”

NOT PATERNALISM: “Experience also shows that to be effective, we must adopt a model of partnership, not paternalism. This approach is based on our conviction that people in the developing world have the capacity to improve their own lives -- and will rise to meet high expectations if we set them.” And our setting high expectations for them to meet is not paternalism how exactly?


FOR EXAMPLE, I’M STANDING RIGHT HERE AND NO ONE IS PUTTING ME UNDER ARREST: “For example, there should be an immediate review of the Human Rights Council, which has routinely protected violators of human rights.”

Laura Bush, Ban ki-Moon’s wife, and Carla Bruni (Sarkozy’s wife) listen to Bush’s speech being simultaneously translated into French, Burmese, and Percocet.

The hockey mom and the Iranian dictator

Sarah Palin never gave what would have been her first foreign policy speech, at the anti-Iran protest at the UN, the one from which Hillary Clinton withdrew when she found out Palin had been invited, and then Palin was disinvited. But the text of the speech has been released. She calls Ahmadinejad “the Iranian dictator” who “dreams of being an agent in a ‘Final Solution’ - the elimination of the Jewish people.” Also, that he showed up for a test completely unprepared and in his underwear.

Of course the most important way to stand up to Ahmadinejad, sez Sarah, is to achieve victory in Iraq. Stands to reason. “If we retreat without leaving a stable Iraq, Iran’s nuclear ambitions will be bolstered.”

And of course he should be arrested. “President Ahmadinejad should be held accountable for inciting genocide, a crime under international law.”

So sad that she’ll never be able to give that speech, huh?

Sarah and I are going to get on that chopper and ride it straight to Washington!

I got nuthin’ today, except a backlog of pictures of McCain and Palin and the kiddies out on the town, with McCain just biding his time, waiting for Obama to take any position on the financial bailout so that he can take the other side.

He started out the week so well. Here he was yesterday after his weekly bowel movement.


This next picture is entitled, “Are you my new daddy?”


Introduced, in Media, Pennsylvania, by one of his many friends in the bikers-with-oversized-mustaches community.


Wait, I just stopped to look that guy up. His name is Paul Teutul and he has a show on... the Learning Channel. And because 13 cars aren’t enough vehicles for one man to own, Teutul gave McCain a motorcycle.


McCain responded, “Sarah and I are going to get on that chopper and ride it straight to Washington!” Quite an image. Sarah seems happy with the idea, or perhaps she is looking at Teutul and asking, “Are you my new daddy?”


Always happy to meet and/or lick his supporters.


Possible images of McCain for his presidential commemorative 5½ cent stamp.



Oh no! Sarah Palin is trapped inside a Teleprompter! Her ability to field dress a moose cannot save her now!

So, Hamid, I hear you can see Russia from your house too

Tomorrow, the McCain people are introducing Sarah Palin to foreign leaders for the very first time.

COMPETITION: What will Sarah Palin have to say to Colombian President Uribe and Afghanistan’s Karzai?

You bet it’s big, because it needed to be big

Today Bush met with Colombian President Uribe. He even, for the first time in weeks, took a couple of questions.

WHAT EMPTY PROMISES WON’T BE: “In the last few years, thousands of members of FARC have deserted. They’ve realized the empty promise of the leaders of -- you know, won’t be met.”


He lectured Congress about the importance of ratifying the free-trade treaty: “And members of Congress from both parties have got to understand the following facts.” There were three of them.

IN OTHER WORDS: “First of all, about half our growth last year, Mr. President, was because of exports. In other words, exports have affected our economy in a positive way.”

There were two more facts that members of Congress from both parties have got to understand. See if you can follow along with the MBA president’s sophisticated analysis: “Secondly, a lot of small businesses trade -- send goods and services to Colombia. It’s important for the small business sector to be vital and strong. Thirdly, a lot of jobs depend upon exports.”

STRUTTING OUT: “Dos preguntas por cada lado. Deb. That’s two questions per each side. (Laughter.) Just strutting out my Spanish here.” (Later, he will beg Colombian reporters not to speak in Spanish.)


OF HOW SIGNIFICANT: “My first instinct was to let the market work until I realized, upon being briefed by the experts, of how significant this problem became. And so I decided to act and act boldly.” You know, I can picture him standing in front of the mirror saying to himself, “I must act. And act boldly!”

WHAT IT TURNS OUT: “It turns out that there’s a lot of interlinks throughout the financial system. The system had grown to a point where a lot of people were dependent upon each other”. Yes, a lot of people are dependent on each other now; the economy has changed since you went to Harvard Business School, back in 2000 B.C.

IN OTHER WORDS: “In other words, the system risk was significant, and it required a significant response, and Congress understands that.”

HEH HEH, HE SAID BIG PACKAGE: “This is a big package, because it was a big problem.”

HE’S THE REMINDERER: “And, you know, I tell our -- I will tell our citizens and continue to remind them that the risk of doing nothing far outweighs the risk of the package, and that, over time, we’re going to get a lot of the money back.” Heh heh, he said “the risk of the package.”


THEY’RE THE REMINDERERS: “We’re going to go to New York and talk to -- and remind people here in the nation’s capital that this is an issue that affects a lot more than countries than just Colombia.”

FABULOUSNESS ALERT: “And therefore, I asked Hank Paulson -- who, by the way, in my judgment, is doing a fabulous job”.

WHAT HE UNDERSTANDS: “And I understand it’s important to have confidence in a financial system.”

HE HAS AN MBA, YOU KNOW: “At first I thought we could deal with this -- deal with the problem one issue at a time. We made the decision on Fannie and Freddie because there was systemic risk to our mortgage markets. And then obviously AIG came along -- and Lehman came along and it was -- it declared bankruptcy; then AIG came along and it -- the house of cards was much bigger, beyond -- started to stretch beyond just Wall Street, in the sense of the effects of failure. And so when one card started to go, we were worried about the whole deck going down, and so therefore moved, and moved hard.” Because when you’re worrying about a house of cards going down, you move, and move hard.


WHY IT’S BIG: “And you bet it’s big, because it needed to be big.”

BUT YOU’LL TELL US WHEN IT IS THE TIME, RIGHT? “Now is not the time to play the blame game.”

There will be ample opportunity to debate the origins of this problem

McCain said that if he were president, he’d fire Christopher Cox, the chair of the SEC.

Presidents do not have the power to fire the chair of the SEC.

Reached for comment, George Bush just said, “Chairman Cox,” then giggled helplessly for ten minutes.

McCain has a new ad today saying that, “on the biggest financial issue of the day,” Obama would not say if he supported the AIG bailout. McCain, of course, has had more than enough positions on that issue this week for the both of them.


Human Rights Watch accused Hugo Chavez of human rights abuses. So he threw them out of the country, which was possibly intended as ironic commentary.

This morning, Bush gave a 1,270-word speech about the economy. In the afternoon, he gave a 1,209-word speech about the Boston Celtics. Somehow he seemed happier at the latter. Maybe Ben Bernanke should have given him a basketball and a jersey with the number 43 on it.







He also sounded more engaged and like he might actually have known what he was talking about.

Not that he feels that knowing anything about, say, how this financial crisis occurred, might be of any particular use in getting out of this financial crisis. “There will be ample opportunity to debate the origins of this problem. Now is the time to solve it.”

Caption contest:

Why do white Southern evangelicals hate America?

Ah, Christians. A poll of white Southern evangelicals (defined as attending church at least once a week) finds (pdf) that 57% of respondents think that torture of suspected terrorists is justified (“often justified” = 20%, “sometimes justified” = 16%). 34% oppose torture, but if asked whether the US should “use methods against our enemies that we would not want used on American soldiers” (i.e., the Golden Rule), that goes up to 50%. In other words, 16% of white Southern evangelicals want to torture our troops.

We being used as a force for good is how I see our country

Tonight Fox aired Part II of the epic Sarah Palin interview by Sean Hannity in which “no topic is off limits.”

ON TRACK PALIN: “He’s independent and he’s strong and he’s serving for the right reasons.” She’s said this before. What are the wrong reasons and how many troops does she think joined for the wrong reasons?

IT RHYMES, SO IT MUST BE TRUE: “Retreat is defeat in Iraq.”

WHAT’S GOTTA BE OFF THE TABLE: “No Cold War. That’s gotta be off the table.”

LIFE, LIBERTY AND THE PURFUIT OF HAPPINEFS: “Being an optimist, I see our role in the world as one of being a force for good and one of being the leader of the world when it comes to the values that, it seems that just humankind embraces the values that encompass life and liberty and the pursuit of happiness. And that’s not just in America, that is in our world. ... We being used as a force for good is how I see our country.”

WHY SHE REALLY ADMIRES JOHN MCCAIN: “I so respected John McCain, his, his, maverick streak in him there really being made manifest in choosing someone who has a track record of that commitment to reform...” Oh, etcetera. She respects him because he chose her, is what she’s saying.


SHE DIDN’T MEAN TO OFFEND ANY COMMUNITY ORGANIZERS, JUST LAUGH AT THEM: “Oh, I certainly didn’t mean to hurt his [Obama’s] feelings. Didn’t mean to offend any community organizers, either.”

Asked why women’s groups don’t support her: “This campaign is about important, very important issues which are not necessarily gender-specific”. As opposed to the very unimportant issues which those hairy-legged feminists support.

ON BIDEN: “I think he was first elected when I was like in second grade. He’s been in there a long, long, long time.” Enough longs in that sentence, Sarah? (she really emphasized the longs, too).

SARAH SHOWS SOME SKIN: “I was telling a couple of our campaign people the other day. I said, you see this? You think this is just baby fat, right, from having Trig four months ago. No, it’s some thick skin in there also.” First, what part of your body were you showing to your campaign people? Second, don’t blame your weight on the media.

Says she had no desire to ban any books.

Says she wasn’t part of the Alaska Independence Party.

Says she supports the teaching of evolution.

Says she wore that Pat Buchanan button just because she was being polite and she was very excited that he was visiting her small city.

Says that fired Public Safety Commissioner Walt Monegan was “insubordinate” and that the investigation of Troopergate has been “captured” by “excessive partisanship.”

“This trooper tasered my nephew... His threats against the first family, his death threat against my dad. All that is in the record. And if the opposition researchers are choosing to forget that side of the story, well that’s, they’re not doing their job.” Sarah, “this trooper” isn’t running for vice president. Indeed, the truth of your allegations against him is entirely irrelevant to the question of your abuse of power in trying to get him fired. As is the fact that he’s still a trooper, which doesn’t prove anything except that you’re not all that good at carrying out your petty vendettas.


SHE’S ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE: “I’m one of those people, you know, I see a soldier walking through the airport, and, you know, I, my heart does a little double-take”.

(Update: forgot to add the response given at a town hall meeting today by Palin, who McCain said last week “knows more about energy than probably anyone else in the United States of America,” to a question about how drilling would benefit American consumers:

Oil and coal? Of course, it’s a fungible commodity and they don’t flag, you know, the molecules, where it’s going and where it’s not. But in the sense of the Congress today, they know that there are very, very hungry domestic markets that need that oil first. So, I believe that what Congress is going to do, also, is not to allow the export bans to such a degree that it’s Americans that get stuck to holding the bag without the energy source that is produced here, pumped here. It’s got to flow into our domestic markets first.

Meeting these challenges

This morning, Bush gave a very brief statement about the financial situation.

SELL! SELL! SELL! “I’ve canceled my travel today to stay in Washington, where I will continue to closely monitor the situation in our financial markets and consult with my economic advisors.”

SELL! DID YOU HEAR ME? SELL EVERYTHING! “[M]y administration is focused on meeting these challenges.”

But everything you need to know about the economy, you can tell...


And do you concur with that assessment, Secretary Paulson’s face?


(That picture actually from 3 days ago)

Why John McCain tapped me to be a team of mavericks

Sarah Palin’s second interview tonight. Tough questions from... Sean Hannity.

WHAT GETTING THE NOD FROM MCCAIN TO BE VICE PRESIDENT WAS: “Getting that nod was quite an experience.” He not only gave her a nod, but a tap: “And that’s why John McCain tapped me to be a team of mavericks”.

Much of the interview focused on the economy.

WHAT YOU KNOW WHEN WE SEE THE COLLAPSE THAT WE’RE SEEING TODAY: “When we see the collapse that we’re seeing today, you know that something is broken”.

The capitalist system is, of course, fine, it’s just... corruption: “I think the corruption on Wall Street. That’s to blame. And that violation of the public trust.” Hannity didn’t ask her who specifically she was accusing of corruption.

ON THE FUNDAMENTALS: “Well, it was an unfair attack on the verbage [sic] that Senator McCain chose to use because the fundamentals, as he was having to explain afterwards, he means our workforce, he means the ingenuity of the American people.”

WHAT THE ECONOMY IS: “Certainly it is a mess though, the economy is a mess.”

WHY WE DON’T HAVE AN ENERGY POLICY, UNLESS YOU COUNT THE ONE CHENEY CREATED BEHIND CLOSED DOORS: “Yes it is gridlock and it’s ridiculous. That’s why we don’t have an energy policy. That’s why there hasn’t been the reform of the abuse of the earmark process.” Actually, the reason there hasn’t been reform of the earmark process isn’t because of partisan gridlock but the opposite: because both parties benefit from it.

“We sort of have a do-nothing Senate right now where nobody’s wanting to really pick up the ball and run with it and take the steps that we have to take to become more energy independent.” Does her plan for energy independence involve people running with balls, possibly on giant wheels?

A robust and meaningful way

The House passed the “Second Amendment Enforcement Act” to overturn gun control in D.C., banning D.C. from imposing such restrictions as proficiency or vision, and allowing guns, assault rifles, etc to be owned by people convicted of violent crimes, etc. Naturally, George Bush, who has been known to shut down whole cities to preserve his own security, welcomed the bill and demanded the Senate also pass it, “to ensure that the residents of the District are able to exercise their Second Amendment rights in a robust and meaningful way.” As in, hand over your wallet or I will exercise my Second Amendment rights in a robust and meaningful way.

Presumably the prospect of exercising his Second Amendment rights in a robust and meaningful way explains the expression on Cheney’s face at an Oval Office event this morning.


Later, Bush celebrated the most awkward day on the White House calendar, Iftaar. He talked about the many contributions of Muslim-Americans, pointing out a guy working on devices to allow quadriplegics to operate wheelchairs and computers. But of course it was Muslims in the US military, not that guy, who he said “represent the best of our nation.”


He said that his administration has “partnered with Muslims around the world to spread freedom to millions of people who have never known it before.” Well, certainly a lot more Muslims around the world seem to be exercising their Second Amendment rights in a robust and meaningful way.

Lord make a way

Palin and the witch-hunter.

Secretary of War Robert Gates in Afghanistan, offering his “personal regrets” for all the civilians we keep bombing: “While no military has ever done more to prevent civilian casualties, it is clear that we have to work even harder.” Really, no military? Because the Swiss Army has been preventing civilian casualties quite effectively lately by not, you know, invading anybody.

Nov. 2008 California proposition recommendations

Official results. Results below, in purple.

Abortions, high-speed trains, gay marriage, renewable energy and chicken cages. It could only be another California ballot.

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Prop. 1A. The, and I quote, “Safe, Reliable High-Speed Passenger Train Bond Act.” Which are safe, reliable and high-speed – the passengers, the trains, the bonds, or the act?

Look, I like safe, reliable, high-speed passengers as much as the next person, and choo-choos are nice too, but I object to all bonds as a method of funding state projects, 1) on pragmatic grounds: they’re an expensive form of finance, with almost as much going to interest, which is just money flushed down the toilet, as is spent on anything productive, 2) on fairness grounds: they’re regressive, giving undeserved tax deductions to bond purchasers, 3) on principled, democratic grounds: they place tax obligations on the future generations that have to pay them off, which amounts to taxation without representation.

Beyond that, the money would be spent mostly or entirely on purely preliminary work on a bunch of projects, most of which will never be built – a high-speed train from Merced to Stockton to San Francisco? I don’t think so. Most of the list is bait and switch, just there to attract voters in those areas. At best, 1A would provide seed money for a possible LA-SF train that would require a lot more money and federal backing to have any chance of becoming a reality. No on 1A.

Yes, 52%.

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Prop. 2. For better treatment of farm animals (until we kill them and eat them, anyway), mostly in the form of improved housing. Yes.

Yes, 63%. Californians love their chickens.

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Prop. 3. Children’s hospital bonds. See 1A for my argument against any bond act. In addition, there seems to be an excess of micro-management here, such as naming diseases that the hospitals should be focused on. Like 99% of voters, I lack the medical expertise to decide which diseases should be prioritized now, and no one can predict what the situation will be 5 or 10 or 15 years from now. I’m also not sure whether children’s health in this state is best served by focusing funding on a small number of children’s hospitals (some of which are private hospitals). No.
Yes, 55%. Californians are, well, okay with their children.

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Prop. 4. Parental notification of abortion for minors, and a 48-hour waiting period.

Speaking of waiting periods, we voted down this exact measure in 2006 and 2005. I’d be against this anyway: parents should no more be able to force their daughters to carry a pregnancy to term than to force them to abort against their will. But this version also has problems with the way the judicial-bypass alternative is set up: it can take so long that parental notification might become, well, redundant; and if there is any sort of abuse, including “emotional abuse,” the girl must make a written statement (is this really the time to be giving her homework?), which will be passed on to the cops or Protective Services, a provision which seems less about protecting abused pregnant minors than it is a “nuclear option” designed to raise the stakes for girls opting for abortion.

The supporters of Prop. 4 have revamped their argument this time around. In 2005 and 2006, identical ballot arguments made clear their hostility to promiscuous little trollops: “When parents are involved and minors cannot anticipate secret access to free abortions they more often avoid the reckless behavior which leads to pregnancies.” Because that didn’t work, this time around they’re claiming to be concerned primarily with protecting the young Junos from sexual predators who impregnate them and then drag them off to abortion clinics. They claim, without any proof or logic, that “These laws reduce teen pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases, without danger or harm to minors,” they claim that law enforcement supports this initiative, and they keep repeating the phrase “secret abortions,” as opposed to abortions carried out in the food court at the local mall, I suppose.

This is dangerous and stupid, and should be defeated by a large enough majority that we don’t have to see it again in 2010. No.

No, 52%, not as large as I'd have liked.

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Prop. 5. More drug addiction treatment, including for prisoners, less imprisonment for non-violent drug offenders, decriminalization of marijuana possession. Yes, why don’t we try something that’s cheaper and more likely to succeed than what we’ve been doing?

No, 60%. Californians love their prisons.

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Prop. 6. Spending minimums for criminal justice programs; more jail time for certain crimes.

The spending part is more micromanaging of the budget, which is supposed to be the Legislature’s job (yeah I know, I know, but just because they haven’t been doing it doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be doing it). Nor should we be setting in stone how the budget should be allocated in the future. We don’t know what future needs will be, and it’s undemocratic to take decisions, especially budgetary decisions, out of the hands of our elected representatives in the future. No taxation without representation and all that.

The increased penalties are draconian, sometimes ridiculously, like life imprisonment for gang members who threaten witnesses or break into homes,. Plus a new crime of failing to register with the police as a gang member. And increased sentences (as much as ten years) for various crimes if performed by gang members. Presumably the police get to decide who is a gang member, which is a lot of power for them to abuse. Juvenile gang members to be tried in adult courts; increased use of hearsay evidence in court; cracking down on graffiti; you name it, really, the list goes on and on.

Mean-spirited, reactionary, self-defeating, stupid, and I can’t even imagine how much it would cost to implement. No.

No, 69%. Funny: mean-spirited, reactionary, self-defeating, stupid law 'n order measures usually do better than this.

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Prop. 7. Requires power companies to increase the amount of energy derived from renewable energy sources.

Gosh, a proposition that requires us to be experts on both the science of cutting-edge renewable-energy technologies and the economics of the electricity market. Fortunately, the legislative analyst is there to help: “The PUC has set the amount of the penalties at 5 cents per kilowatt hour by which the IOU or ESP falls short of its RPS target...” Thanks for clearing that up, Mr. or Ms. Legislative Analyst.

Of course we don’t have the expertise to decide on this, so the authors of 7 blizzard us with details and hope we’ll just assume that anything environmental-sounding must be good. Now, I’m all for renewable energy, but I don’t trust that Prop 7 is the way to achieve it. I don’t know if the targets it sets make sense. I don’t like Californians taking the financial hit alone (the claim of supporters that it would increase electric bills by no more than 3% per year is just a claim; it’s not actually in the initiative anywhere) for an issue that should be addressed at the national level. I’m not sure why the authority to set rates would shift from the PUC to the Energy Commission, or the reason for the insistence that contracts be for more than 20 years when technological innovations might change the situation completely. This sort of massive transformation needs to be overseen and tweaked as needed, not set in stone. And smaller power generators, especially solar, do seem to be locked out completely for no good reason.

This seems like the wrong means to a commendable end. No.

No, 65%, with all the environmental groups joining the energy companies in opposition.

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Prop. 8. “Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California.”

Excuse me for the pedantry, but I just have to criticize the grammar. For a start, as written, it says that “marriage between a man and a woman” is literally the only thing at all, of the myriad of things under the sun, which will be valid or recognized (the sun won’t be valid or recognized either). That’s an interesting epistemological statement, although not perhaps one best argued in a voter pamphlet. The bad grammar results from the authors being unwilling to acknowledge the existence of gay people, much less to use the sacred word “marriage” to describe the relationship between gay people, leaving them unable to name the thing that they wish to ban. “Only marriages between a man and a woman, and not Abominations Unto the Lord, are valid and recognized in the God-Fearing State of California” might sound a little, I don’t know, unkind.

I don’t think I need to make an elaborate argument here; you probably know what you think. But remember, this is about policy, not your personal comfort zone. It doesn’t matter whether gay marriage makes you uncomfortable any more than whether you think Bristol Palin is marrying the high school dropout who knocked her up for all the wrong reasons and it’ll never work out. It’s the state’s job to register marriages, not judge them. And it is, or should be, the function of the state constitution to entrench rights, not discrimination.No.

Yes, 52.5%. Californians love their gays, but not in, you know, that way. The way that gives them equal rights, that is.

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Prop. 9. Increases the role of crime victims in parole and bail decisions. Other provisions would interfere with the right to a fair trial, such as giving victims the ability to prevent the defense receiving certain information about them. Yet other details are designed to disadvantage people in relation to the state, such as removing the right to counsel in parole-revocation hearings. Time between parole hearings would be greatly increased. And there’s something about “finality” in criminal proceedings; I’ve read the initiative’s text and I still have no idea what if anything is meant by that.

Victims of crime already have the “rights” to be informed of parole hearings and speak at them. Those parts of Prop. 9 are redundant, window dressing to obscure the new provisions, which are all aimed at reducing the rights of defendants and prisoners and making the criminal justice system an instrument of personal vengeance rather than public order and rehabilitation. No.

Yes, 53.5%. I'm hoping some of this gets thrown out in court.

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Prop. 10. Bonds for alternative fuels and cars run by alternative fuels, mostly in the form of rebates, with a bit of solar and wind thrown in.

I oppose this one because it is funded by bonds (see Prop. 1A above), but also because I don’t think rebates are what will got more alternative-fuel-powered cars on the road, since even $5,000 won’t begin to make them competitive (and there’s nothing to stop manufacturers and dealers raising prices and pocketing the money themselves). And as it happens, most of the money wouldn’t go to cars but to trucks, run on natural gas, which isn’t the most eco-friendly fuel either. In other words, Prop. 10, backed by T. Boone Pickens, would fund the wrong solutions, and subsidize his business interests. No.

No, 60%.

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Prop. 11. Redistricting. Again!

These little schemes are always like one of those complicated board games where by the time you’ve read through all the rules, everyone’s cranky and no one wants to play it anymore. Redistricting for the US Congress would remain as now, except that the Legislature would be asked to take into account “communities of interest,” whatever that means (the prop. doesn’t say!). For the Legislature, there would be a citizens’ commission. Anybody who hasn’t held office, been a lobbyist or contributed lots of money to a candidate in the last ten years, or changed their party registration in the past five, could apply to join, although I have no idea who would. Then, three faceless state bureaucrats narrow the applicants down to 60 based on their intelligence and “appreciation of California’s diversity,” whatever that might mean; then leaders of the Legislature would strike out 24; then 8 names would be drawn out of a hat and those 8 would pick 6 more. In total, they would have to be 5 Dems, 5 Reps, and 4 small party or non-party. Which presumably means that if those 8 chosen at random happened to include, say, 5 Democrats, a Green and 2 non-party, they would get to choose the Republican members. And hilarity ensues. To be approved, a plan would require 9 votes, including 3 R’s, 3 D’s and 3 others.

Even if I had any confidence that a group of people so chosen could produce a fair electoral map, and agree on it, which I don’t, I’d still have a major problem with it: by insisting that panel members’ primary qualification should be their party affiliation, this measure enshrines the two parties at the heart of the redistricting process, thereby doing exactly what the current system is rightly criticized for doing, protecting the interests of the two-party establishment and trying to pre-determine the outcomes of elections. But the Republican and Democratic parties are not branches of government or established religions, so they should not be officially entrenched in the constitution. If the measure instead called for the commission to have set numbers of Methodists, Catholics and Episcopalians, or whites, blacks and Hispanics, there would be outrage. So why should party be privileged? And as party identification continues to decline in this state, with fewer people voting the straight party ticket and only 77% registered as R’s or D’s, there is less and less justification for institutionalizing the two parties. No.

Yes, 50.6%.

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Prop. 12. Bonds for loans to veterans to buy homes. Most of my objections to bonds don’t apply here, since the veterans will be the ones paying off the bonds and the interest. So you can vote for it if you like.

Yes, 63.5%.

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Comments and rebuttals are welcome; sarcastic remarks about Californian participatory democracy are... probably inevitable.

(UPDATE: for well thought-out recommendations by people who mostly agree with me, see Kevin Drum, whose argument that Prop. 5 is not well-drafted and should not be set in stone in case in case it works out badly in practice is fairly convincing, enough so that I will probably flip-flop on this one several times between now and election day; the SF Bay Guardian; and Greenboy at Needlenose, whose recommendations have the virtue of coming in limerick form.)

Obviously going to see a devastated part of this fantastic state

Today Bush went to Houston to examine Hurricane Ike damage.

WHAT ENERGY COMPANIES INSTINCTIVELY WANT TO DO: “Secondly, obviously people are concerned about electricity and, you know, the -- what I look for, is there enough help to get these energy companies to do what they instinctively want to do, which is get the grid up again.”

THE DEMAND HAS BEEN MET EXCEPT WHERE IT HASN’T BEEN: “Thus far -- I know there are some shortages [in water and fuel], but thus far the demand has been met”.

WHERE GEORGE IS FIXIN’ TO GO AND WHAT HE’S OBVIOUSLY GOING TO SEE: “We’re fixing to go down to Galveston and obviously are going to see a devastated part of this fantastic state.”


WHAT HE’LL HAVE A CHANCE TO DO: “And it’ll give the Governor and me and the Congressmen and Senator and others a chance to express our heartfelt sympathies for those whose lives have been, you know, disrupted.”

WHAT GEORGE HOPES: “You know, I hope that the country does not have disaster fatigue.”

He is the Lion King

I know it’s George Bush’s function in life always to be the goofiest-looking guy in any photo, but some days it must be more difficult than others. Still, he always rises to the challenge.

Is there nothing John McCain cannot do?

Not only does McCain know how to win wars and how to capture bin Laden, but evidently he can “fix” the economy too: “And I know how to fix it, and I know how to get things done.”

Bedtime for bonzos

Four San Diego firefighters are suing the city for sexual harassment because they were ordered to ride their fire truck in a gay pride parade where they were subjected to, gasp, catcalls and sexually suggestive comments, which caused them to feel demeaned and oddly aroused.

So what if Sarah Palin had an expensive tanning bed installed in the governor’s mansion?


I mean, do you know how expensive it was for McCain to install an appropriate bed in every one of his homes?

Soundness and resilience

Treasury Secretary Hank Paulson’s mouth says that Americans can be confident in the “soundness and resilience in the American financial system” (or at least what’s left of it). But what does his face say?

Maybe certain

Have I missed something, or did we just go a day without a new Sarah Palin scandal?

Thought for the Day: Although they have very different personalities, Obama, Biden, McCain and Palin are four of the most self-regarding people on the planet.

The National Hurricane Center said that Galveston residents who don’t evacuate “may face certain death.” Is that the same as saying they definitely face uncertain death?

From H.P. Lovecraft’s Brief Tenure as a Whitman’s Sampler Copywriter: “Toffee Nugget: Few men dare ask the question ‘What is toffee, exactly?’ All those who have investigated this substance are now either dead or insane.” More.

Sarah Palin speaks: A culture of life is best for America

More of the Sarah Palin interview (and more later).

Asked what three things she would change from the Bush admin’s economic policy, she said lower taxes, “control” spending, reform oversight. Clearly, two weeks of cramming has totally paid off for Sarah. What cuts would she make? She’d find “efficiencies.” Phew, and I thought massive budget cuts to fund tax breaks for the rich would actually, you know, affect some people.

OF WHAT THERE’S NO DOUBT IN ANYBODY’S MIND NOW ACROSS AMERICA: “There’s no doubt in anybody’s mind now across America, who’s paying attention to the presidential race here, that I am a Washington outsider.” That’s not actually a qualification, you know.

Well, okay, sure, she admits, finally, she was in favor of the Bridge to Nowhere: “I was for infrastructure being built in the state.”


Abortion (on which Gibson noted that she does not support allowing abortions for victims of rape and incest, but failed to ask her about it): “I think that a culture of life is best for America. What I want to do... be able to reach out and work with those who are on the other side of this issue, because I know that we can all agree on the need for and the desire for fewer abortions in America and greater support for adoption, for other alternatives that women can and should be empowered to embrace, to allow that culture of life.” Yeah, because her position is all about “empowering” women to embrace other alternatives, like, for instance, raising her rapist’s child.

“Q: Homosexuality, genetic or learned? PALIN: Oh, I don’t -- I don’t know, but I’m not one to judge and, you know, I’m from a family and from a community with many, many members of many diverse backgrounds and I’m not going to judge someone on whether they believe that homosexuality is a choice or genetic. I’m not going to judge them.” As opposed to actual homosexuals, who will burn in the fiery pits of Hell forever and ever.

On supporting semiautomatic assault weapons: “I believe strongly in our Second Amendment rights. That’s kind of inherent in the people of my state who rely on guns for not just self-protection, but also for our hunting and for sports, also. It’s a part of a culture here in Alaska.” Not, presumably, the culture of life that’s best for America. Also, hunting and sports require assault weapons? Those moose must be tougher than I thought.

Asked about Troopergate, she kept referring to “the trooper in question” or “a state trooper” or “a trooper who was making threats against the first family,” rather than as her sister’s ex-husband (much less by name). She’s horrified that he still has a job, that he’s “still out there”: “It amazes me still to think we cannot have very, very high standards for our troopers, for anybody in public service, certainly though, those who have a badge and carry a gun.” I thought she supported everybody’s right to carry semiautos?

Curiously, she claimed that the personnel board which she wants to investigate Troopergate rather than the state legislature is not, contrary to what everybody’s been reporting for the last two weeks, entirely appointed by herself. She says they were all appointed by previous governors.

Says never tried to ban books, that’s an “old wive’s tale.”

People who’ve taken risk in order to realize dream

McCain says again (video) that Palin knows more about energy than probably anyone else in America. Take that, Daniel Yergin!

Frankie Boyle, on Mock the Week, on global warming: The Eskimoes have 600 words for “we’re fucked.”

Hugh Dennis, on the same program, on the way McCain looks at Palin: He looks like he wants to “shoot her moose.”

Bush spoke in Oklahoma City this morning to “small business owners -- people who’ve taken risk in order to realize dream”.

Why Oklahoma City? Because they’re ignorant hillbillies (he said it, not me): “In Oklahoma a lot of people don’t know about health saving accounts, and one of the reason I’ve come down to this part of the country is because I do want people to understand they’re available and they’re good.”

Asked about the Palin interview, he quickly invoked his “no question policy,” then said, “She did just fine.” Maybe she even realized dream.

Not as governor she didn’t

The AP is getting better: “John McCain said Friday running mate Sarah Palin has never asked for money for lawmakers’ pet projects as Alaska governor when in fact she has sought nearly $200 million in earmarks this year. ... When pressed about Palin’s record of requesting and accepting such money for Alaska, McCain ignored the record and said: ‘Not as governor she didn’t.’”

Sarah Palin: You can’t blink

The first part of Charlie Gibson’s interview with Sarah Palin aired tonight (no full transcript; quotes in this post come from the excerpts and my own transcription).

NO BLINKING!: “I -- I answered him yes because I have the confidence in that readiness and knowing that you can’t blink, you have to be wired in a way of being so committed to the mission, the mission that we’re on, reform of this country and victory in the war, you can’t blink. So I didn’t blink then even when asked to run as his running mate.” McCain blinks enough for both of them.

DON’T YOU HATE IT WHEN THERE’S NOTHING NEW ON TV? “We will not repeat a Cold War.”

SHE’S THE REMINDERER: “We must have good relationship with our allies, pressuring, also, helping us to remind Russia that it’s in their benefit, also, a mutually beneficial relationship for us all to be getting along.”

By the end of this meandering mish-mash of a sentence, she’s forgotten that Ukraine and Georgia are not yet members of NATO: “But NATO, I think, should include Ukraine, definitely, at this point and I think that we need to -- especially with new leadership coming in on January 20, being sworn on, on either ticket, we have got to make sure that we strengthen our allies, our ties with each one of those NATO members.”

Since she supports enlarging NATO to include Ukraine and Georgia, Gibson asks if it’s worth going to war with Russia if it invades Georgia again: “What I think is that smaller democratic countries that are invaded by a larger power is something for us to be vigilant against.” So is that a maybe?

WHAT WE’VE GOT TO KEEP ON RUSSIA: “And we’ve got to keep an eye on Russia. For Russia to have exerted such pressure in terms of invading a smaller democratic country, unprovoked, is unacceptable.” She repeated “we’ve got to keep an eye on Russia.” And she’s just the person to do it: “You can actually see Russia from land here in Alaska.”

She avoided answering whether the US should restore Georgian control of South Ossetia and Abkhazia.

Said we shouldn’t “second guess” any Israeli attack on Iranian nuclear facilities.


The funniest part was when Gibson asked her if she agreed with the Bush Doctrine. Clearly stumped, she asked, “In what respect, Charlie?” To give him credit, he didn’t immediately throw her a life-line, but asked “What do you interpret it to be?” Only when she started going on about Bush’s “world view” did he help her out a little. When he finally explained the whole preemptive war thing, she was of course totally on board. But let me repeat, she had never heard of the Bush Doctrine, and her attempt at fudging it by talking in generalities also indicated that she didn’t know that presidential doctrines in foreign policy – the Monroe Doctrine, the Truman Doctrine, etc – are kind of a, you know, thing.

Oh, and we should totally invade or bomb Pakistan without its government’s permission if necessary because we must not, you guessed it, blink.

There is only one man in this election who has ever really fought for you

Sarah Palin, at a rally earlier this week: “Since my own running-mate won’t say this on his own behalf, I’m gonna have to say it for him. There is only one man in this election who has ever really fought for you. That man is John McCain.” Yeah, he’s just so reticent about claiming to be the only man in this election who has ever really fought for you.

Today, Bush went to a memorial event at the Pentagon, so he could look all squinty and somber-like.


Meanwhile, in New York, McCain hugged a construction worker while holding a flower. No, it wasn’t a 9/11 event; he just likes to hug construction workers while holding a flower.

Still here?

The Large Hadron Collider did not destroy the world today. Stephen Hawking said it wouldn’t, and it didn’t. I suppose that’s a good thing, but I can’t help feeling a little disappointed. It sounded quite exciting.

On the one hand, you see the horrors of war

Bush visited Walter Reed today. The hospital, not the middle school. After visiting some patients – after, mind you, he said, “I’ve also come to pay my respects to family members that are praying that their loved one can get back on their feet and serve again, or get back on their feet and live a normal life.”


Captain Oblivious strikes again.

Indeed, as ever he showed no signs of having registered that the catastrophic wounds he witnessed had anything to do with any decisions he might have made, but he did find everything... interesting. “It’s -- this is a interesting experience because, on the one hand, you see the horrors of war; on the other hand, you see the courage of the people that have volunteered to serve.”

HE MARVELS: “I marvel when I come to Walter Reed, I marvel at the fact that people say to me, Mr. President, I’d do it again.”

YOU KNOW WHAT THOSE SEVERELY INJURED SOLDIERS ARE? LUCKY, THAT’S WHAT. “And, General, we’re lucky -- and they’re lucky -- to have health care that can provide for the wounded and provide comfort to those who need the care.”

Every so often this just has to be said: Fuck you, George Bush.

Afghan fighters are good fighters

Follow-up: Thai Prime Minister Samak has been ordered by a court to step down because of his cooking show “Tasting and Grumbling.”

Today Bush spoke at the National Defense University.

WHAT IT TURNS OUT: “I am pleased to be back at the National Defense University again. It turns out this is my fifth visit as President.”

I’M SURE THEY’RE ALL THRILLED ABOUT IT TOO: “You know, one of the great things about being the Commander-in-Chief is to be the Commander-in-Chief of people who have volunteered to serve our country in a time of danger.”


AND THE ACTIVITIES TOO: “Yesterday, Ambassador Crocker and General Petraeus reported to me via STVS that they had just gone into a market area, and seen the commerce and the activities.”

He announced that he was sending more troops to Afghanistan, which is experiencing what he has taken to calling a “quiet surge.” A quiet surge that includes greatly stepping up the number of quiet air strikes.

BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE: “And for all the good work we’ve done in that country, it is clear we must do even more. As we learned in Iraq, the best way to restore the confidence of the people is to restore basic security -- and that requires more troops. I’m announcing today additional American troop deployments to Afghanistan.” Because nothing says basic security like foreign troops storming through your country.

WHAT HAS BEEN THE CASE THROUGHOUT THE HISTORY OF WARFARE: “Regrettably, there will be times when our pursuit of the enemy will result in accidental civilian deaths. This has been the case throughout the history of warfare.” So that’s okay then. “Our nation mourns the loss of every innocent life.” So that’s okay then. “Every grieving family has the sympathy of the American people.” So that’s okay then.


WHAT AFGHAN FIGHTERS ARE: “Afghan fighters are good fighters.”

“In the period ahead, we will once again encourage Afghan security forces and Afghan tribes to take a leading role in the building of a democratic Afghanistan.” Because nothing says democracy like tribalism and the involvement of security forces in politics.

There are citizens who say, I need love

How many people does the US have to kill inside Pakistan before it counts as a war?

Journalism as it should be done: alongside a story about the investigation that Thai Prime Minister Samak Sundaravej’s cooking show violated the constitution because he was paid for it, the Guardian includes his recipe for pigs’ legs in Coca Cola.

Master criminal of the day, from the AP:

Fresno County authorities have arrested a man they say broke into the home of two farmworkers, rubbed one with spices and whacked the other with a sausage before fleeing.

Fresno County sheriff’s Lt. Ian Burrimond says 22-year-old Antonio Vasquez of Fresno was found hiding in a nearby field wearing only a T-shirt, boxer shorts and socks.

Burrimond said Vasquez was arrested after deputies found a wallet containing his ID at the ransacked house just east of Fresno.

The victims told deputies they awoke Saturday morning to the stranger applying spices to one of them and striking the other with an 8-inch sausage.

Burrimond said money allegedly stolen in the burglary was recovered. The sausage was tossed away by the fleeing suspect and eaten by a dog.

Today Bush met a bunch of volunteers on the White House lawn.

WHAT IS A JOY: “It is a joy to be here with members of the armies of compassion.” He came with some members of the other kind of army.


WHAT EVIL MAY DO: “Evil may crush concrete and twist steel, but it can never break the spirit of the American people.”

IN OTHER WORDS: “In other words, we used high-tech innovations to be able to channel people’s desire to serve in a constructive way.”

FROM BIG BROTHERS TO BIG BROTHER: “Another key component of USA Freedom Corps is our effort to keep track of Americans’ service to others. I mean, it’s one thing to talk about it, it’s another thing to measure, to kind of see how we’re doing.”


IN OTHER WORDS: “After 9/11, we tried to make this program [AmeriCorps] more effective -- in other words, to help the dollars allocated go further.”

WHAT THE PEACE CORPS DOES A FABULOUS JOB OF: “I mean, we are a compassionate nation and the Peace Corps does a fabulous job of advancing that compassion.”

WHAT SOME PANTSLESS CITIZENS SAY: “There are citizens who say, I need love.”

One maverick, two....

McCain keeps calling McCain-Palin a “team of mavericks.” Isn’t that a contradiction in terms?


And as long as we’re on the subject, when McCain talks about himself as a maverick, he means to depict himself as one who bucked his party leaders, but isn’t he also saying that in his 25 years in Congress he has been unable to convince anyone (besides Lindsey Graham and Joe Lieberman) to follow him? Isn’t “maverick” another way of saying “failed leader”?

Different kinds of experiences in life

Saturday, CNN interviewed Condi Rice in Libya, where she had just had a major revelation: “Do you know when I felt it? I felt it when the airplane touched down. There was something about the United States of America plane touching down in Tripoli. That’s when it struck me that 55 years was a long time.”

Asked about the relevance of Libya having a shitload of oil to the US reestablishing ties with it: “And there’s nothing wrong with that. You know, we do need – we absolutely need reliable sources of oil and gas from diverse sources.” Diverse sources ranging from the mildly evil to the incredibly evil.

Asked about Sarah Palin’s foreign-policy experience: “There are different kinds of experiences in life that help one to deal with matters of foreign policy.” She was not asked what kinds of experiences in life Palin has that would help her deal with matters of foreign policy.

Restoring faith

Today the feds seized control of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac in order to “restore faith” in them (and to pass taxpayer dollars to their bondholders). And what better to restore faith than yet another episode of “Everything You Need to Know About the Economy You Can Tell By the Expression on Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson’s Face”?

Words mean something

Obama says of Palin’s hypocritical conversion to opposition to earmarks, “Come on! Words mean something. You can’t just make stuff up.” Has he not been paying attention the last seven years?

Joke from all over the intertubes and now here: What’s the difference between Dick Cheney and Sarah Palin? Lipstick.

This weekend, McCain brandished the Sharpie of Doom, with which he will veto earmarks....


And Cindy McCain showed us why she is totally the right person to redecorate the White House....


And George Bush did that thing he does so well,


being the goofiest-looking guy in a news photo, no matter the competition.

And what about William Rufus de Vane King?

Piper Palin is evidently named after a brand of snowmobile.

Headline of the Day, from the Daily Telegraph: “Jude Law Calls for Afghan Peace.”

McCain’s high opinion of Palin is not diminishing after having met her, what, four or five times by now? “Isn’t this the most marvelous running mate in the history of this nation?” More marvelous than Elbridge Gerry? Is that even possible?

Republican Convention: Of moose and mavericks and my friends

The last day, praise Jebus.

Brownback on America: “it’s blessed to be a blessing.”

Joe Gibbs, the former head coach of the Washington Redskins: the election of McCain & Palin will bring “a return to God’s word that will lead America to a spiritual revival”. Something to look forward to, then.

Lovely video about 9/11. Slo-mo and everything.

Lindsey Graham: “this speech is for the troops.”


Lindsey Graham talking about “straight talk” just sounds... wrong.

Graham: Obama gave troops only “a patronizing pat on the back”. Whereas you gave them... this speech.

Graham: Everyone knows the surge is working – especially Al Qaida know it – everyone except Obama and his “buddies” at MoveOn.org. And there wouldn’t have been a surge without McCain.


Video on Palin: “Mother... moose-hunter... maverick.”

Oh good, a picture of her and her father with a dead moose.

She likes moose stew.

Tom Ridge’s speech bored me... ridge-id.

Sorry. It’s very hot.

Ridge tries to get a call and response thing going where the audience is supposed to chant “That’s John McCain,” but they pay about as much attention as America did to Ridge’s color-coded terrorism alert levels.

I was in the bathroom, but I could swear Cindy McCain said that she was inspired by John’s example to go to Bangladesh and adopt one if its orphans. Er, didn’t John’s example involve going to an Asian country and creating orphans?

They fell in love at first sight, she says. I wonder if she’s leaving out any little detail about that event.


McCain thanks Bush for his leadership after 9/11, does not actually utter the name “Bush” anywhere in the speech.

Some “Iraq veteran against the war” (according to his t-shirt) has a sign and is heckling (there were others, but he’s the only one I saw on-screen on PBS), which leads to the edifying sight of pudgy delegates trying to drown out a war vet with chants of “USA! USA!” McCain tells the audience to ignore the “static.” Ha ha, that veteran isn’t really speaking in any known language, it’s just meaningless noise.

McCain must really hate having to give the part of his speech I’m listening to now, because we all know how much he hates talking about being a POW. Almost as much as he hates saying “My friends.”

Seriously, the POW portion of the speech went on a very long time.

Which he does a lot, even after everyone has been making fun of it. Can’t help himself. Unless someone thought it would be funny to put it on the teleprompter 500 times.

He actually suggests that people join the military. Or serve your country in other ways (though not as a community organizer): teach an illiterate adult to read (insert obligatory George Bush joke here). Or feed a hungry child – but not candy in the back of your van.

Went to a dark place there.


A bad speech, though delivered fairly well by McCain standards.


Hey, guy with sign: it’s spelled maverick, not mavrick!

Hey, Jim Lehrer: “they” don’t have seven children; he does.

Alaska is right next to Russia. She understands that.

Below is the video of Sarah Palin speaking at her church. At 3:50 she says that the Iraq war is a “task that is from God,” (Note: corrected from earlier version where I somehow missed that part), and at 2:10 she discusses God’s will for there to be a pipeline, and how Alaska needs to get right with the Lord. At 4:30 she tells us all about Track’s tattoos.



Yesterday, McCain was interviewed on ABC by Charlie Gibson:

WHAT SARAH PALIN’S RESUME INCLUDES: “I mean, she’s got an incredible resume, including a beautiful family and a wonderful, loving, caring family.”

ON THE VETTING OF SARAH PALIN: “Well, the people of Alaska have vetted her.” They call her Sarah Barracuda, is that what you mean? Geddit, barracuda, vet, geddit?

WHAT SARAH PALIN UNDERSTANDS: “Alaska is right next to Russia. She understands that.”

BUT DOES BARACK UNDERSTAND GEOGRAPHY AS WELL AS SARAH?: “Look, Sen. Obama’s never visited south of our border. I mean, please.” I didn’t realize going to Tijuana and seeing a donkey show was a sine qua non for the presidency. Oh, and, dude, Palin hasn’t visited south of our border either.

WHAT PEOPLE IN AMERICA WANT, AND DON’T WANT: “But most importantly, people in America want change. They don’t want somebody from inside the beltway.” Um, dude, where have you worked for the last few decades? Oh, and, dude, aren’t you accusing Obama of lack of experience for only having been inside the beltway 3½ years?

WHAT SARAH PALIN KNOWS: “Gov. Palin knows the surge has succeeded. She’s the commander of the Alaskan National Guard. He said that Iran was a tiny problem. He’s never visited south of our border.” You know, if Junior Soprano taught us anything, it’s that if you do go “south of the border,” you’d prefer it not to be mentioned in public.

WHAT MCCAIN CAN LOOK THE COUNTRY IN THE EYE (THE COUNTRY HAS AN EYE?) AND SAY: “I can look the country in the eye and say this is a person who will bring change to Washington and start working for you and upon your side. ...” I DON’T THINK I WANT HER WORKING UPON MY SIDE. “...This is what Americans want. They don’t want somebody who has -- who is, frankly, necessarily gone to Harvard or an Ivy League school. She probably hasn’t been to a Georgetown cocktail party.”

A LOT OF THIS OTHER STUFF: “That’s what she has to offer. And I’m telling you, Charlie, I believe, I am convinced -- if I’m convinced of anything, tonight’s performance, I think, will convince a lot of Americans and a lot of this other stuff’s going to go away immediately.” Oh yeah, that other stuff is so going to go away immediately.

Asked about the $27m in earmarks Palin got for Wasilla: “And then she learned that earmarks are bad.”

Asked about Palin’s saying that the Iraq war is a task from God: “I think that, obviously, that we are facing a transcendent evil of radical Islamic extremism that wants to destroy everything we stand for and believe in and value. I know that’s what she was talking about.”

Asked about her support for creationism being taught in public schools: “I don’t want her in a position of power and influence in America because we’re talking about jobs that school boards do and other things. We can have differences on various issues. Americans want jobs. They want affordable health insurance. They want an education. They want all the things that are compelling issues to their families today.” In other words, if I understand what McCain is saying, yeah, she’s obviously too batshit insane a religious nutjob to be on a school board, but she’s good to go for veep.

WHAT MCCAIN KNOWS HOW TO DO: “Well, look, President Clinton [had] opportunities to get Osama bin Laden. President Bush had opportunities to get Osama bin Laden. I know how to do it and I’ll do it. And I understand and I have the knowledge and the background and the experience to make the right judgments.” You know how to do it? Why didn’t you tell us that before?

WHAT NO RATIONAL OBSERVER WOULD DENY: “no rational observer would deny that we’ve succeeded [in Iraq], and he [Obama] refuses to do so”. So is he saying that Obama isn’t an observer, or that he isn’t rational? Ah, he’s just a cynical political operator: “He took the position that he did for political reasons to get the far left of his party’s support and win the nomination of his party. And now, incredibly, he still refuses to acknowledge that the surge is succeeding.” Yeah, he’s already got the nomination, so why shouldn’t he just admit that he was lying about how the surge is totally succeeding? “We just turned over Anbar province to the Iraqis, the bloodiest battleground of the whole Iraq War, and he refuses to acknowledge that.” Did I miss an interview where Obama was asked if we had turned over Anbar to the Iraqis and he said no?

Republican Convention: Drill, baby, drill

Why were all those delegates laughing every time someone mentioned that Obama was a “community organizer”? For people who are so anti-government, they sure like to disparage efforts of citizens to organize themselves in, as Dubya once called it, the “community-based community.” You know, Tocqueville and all that shit. (Update: see Christopher’s comment on this post for more about the hypocrisy of this. Also, an email from the Obama campaign this morning responds: “Community organizing is how ordinary people respond to out-of-touch politicians and their failed policies.”)

They kept chanting “drill, baby, drill.” Boy, it’s all about the sex with those people, isn’t it?


Giuliani: did you know that motherfucker Obama voted “present” in the Illinois state legislature? Oh, he must be stopped. He must be stopped.



Palin: “The American presidency is not supposed to be a journey of personal discovery.” Yes, we quite prefer presidents who never learn a fucking thing their entire time in office.


With jokes like this one, as told by Palin, those long Alaskan nights must just fly: “You know the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull? Lipstick.” I’m going to have bad dreams tonight about pit bulls with lipstick, I know it.

Out-of-context Quote of the Day from the Republican Convention

Mike Huckabee: “I was in college before I found out it isn’t supposed to hurt when you take a shower.”

Appreciating total strangers

Another day, another Hurricane Gustav emergency center for Bush to disrupt with a presidential photo-op, this one in Baton Rouge.


JEEZ, YOU PEOPLE LOOK LIKE SHIT: “Looking around, I can see that some people may not have had much sleep recently.”

EVIDENTLY IT’S A PROBLEM: “One of the key things that needs to happen is they got to get electricity up here in Louisiana, get moving as fast as possible. The Governor understands it’s a problem, his team understands it’s a problem, and I understand it’s a problem.”

DO THEY HAVE TO PRAY UPSIDE DOWN? “the people in Louisiana must know that all across our country there’s a lot of prayer -- prayer for those whose lives have been turned upside down. And I’m one of them.”

AH HAVE ALWAYS DEPENDED...: “And I know the people that are -- whose lives have been affected appreciate a total stranger coming in to help.” Boy, that doesn’t sound creepy at all.

Speaking of strangers – “little strangers” – Bristol and Levi arrived at the convention. What did McCain say to them? CAPTION CONTEST.



I guess I’m not surprised that not a single Republican has been found to suggest that the two might have practiced safe sex, but I can’t wait to see what reception the convention gives them tonight. Rapturous, I assume, at the sight of young lust punished by parenthood. I’m reminded of Dan Quayle being asked in 1988 whether, if his 13-year old daughter was raped and impregnated, he would prevent her aborting. Caught off guard, he gave the human response, that it would be a family decision. Marilyn Quayle stepped in to give the “right” answer, that of course she’d carry it to term. This was the point when I realized that certain people were as horrified at the thought of an abortion as I am at the thought of a 13-year old forced to give birth to an unwanted child.

You can be sure the angry left never will

I was playing with Chrome with the Republican convention on in the background, mostly on mute, so I wasn’t paying much attention. Every so often I looked over, thought about turning the sound up, and didn’t. There was a video on the pledge of allegiance. Every time I glanced at the tv, there seemed to be a picture of Teddy Roosevelt for some reason.

Bush, in a rather short speech via satellite: “I know what it takes to be president.” Since when?

Bush: “If the Hanoi Hilton could not break John McCain’s resolve to do what is best for his country, you can be sure the angry left never will.” How about the cranky left?


This guy (unidentified) seems to have lost some sort of bet:



And then she punched him in the balls, the end.

Sarah Palin not qualified to take over as president? Have you seen the guy they’ve got doing the job now?

Bush spoke today.

IN OTHER WORDS: “We recognize that the pre-storm efforts were important and so are the follow-up efforts -- in other words, what happens after the storm passes is as important as what happens prior to the storm arriving.”

WHAT THIS STORM SHOULDN’T DO: “And this storm should not cause the members of Congress to say, well, we don’t need to address our energy independence”.

Heck of a... terrific job

Did you see the footage of Putin supposedly saving the lives of a camera crew from a rampaging Siberian tiger by shooting it with a tranquilizer dart? It’s not even a good fake. We get it, Vlad, you’re totally butch.

A video was shown at the Republican convention about how Republican governors are manfully battling Hurricane Gustav. In it, Texas Governor Rick “Good Hair” Perry said, “You’re seeing Republican governors in Republican states doing a terrific job.” Don’t you mean a terrific Republican job?

Nobody is happy about these storms

Dave Barry: “she was mayor of the Alaskan city of Wasilla, which has the same total number of households as John McCain.” Better than my igloo joke, I think, which is why he gets the big bucks.

One advantage of owning all those houses with all those rooms: no one ever tells you to “just get a room.”


Today Bush visited the Alamo Regional Command Reception Center in San Antonio. After a scintillating briefing on Hurricane Gustav,


which had him glued to his chair (anyone who writes “that ain’t glue” in comments will be banned for life, see if I don’t),


he met with some people who evidently symbolized other people: “Here are some Red Cross volunteers. They are -- they symbolize the thousands that will help.”


He explained why America is great: “America is a great country. It’s great because we’ve got great people. Nobody is happy about these storms.”