Thursday, September 04, 2008

Republican Convention: Of moose and mavericks and my friends

The last day, praise Jebus.

Brownback on America: “it’s blessed to be a blessing.”

Joe Gibbs, the former head coach of the Washington Redskins: the election of McCain & Palin will bring “a return to God’s word that will lead America to a spiritual revival”. Something to look forward to, then.

Lovely video about 9/11. Slo-mo and everything.

Lindsey Graham: “this speech is for the troops.”

Lindsey Graham talking about “straight talk” just sounds... wrong.

Graham: Obama gave troops only “a patronizing pat on the back”. Whereas you gave them... this speech.

Graham: Everyone knows the surge is working – especially Al Qaida know it – everyone except Obama and his “buddies” at And there wouldn’t have been a surge without McCain.

Video on Palin: “Mother... moose-hunter... maverick.”

Oh good, a picture of her and her father with a dead moose.

She likes moose stew.

Tom Ridge’s speech bored me... ridge-id.

Sorry. It’s very hot.

Ridge tries to get a call and response thing going where the audience is supposed to chant “That’s John McCain,” but they pay about as much attention as America did to Ridge’s color-coded terrorism alert levels.

I was in the bathroom, but I could swear Cindy McCain said that she was inspired by John’s example to go to Bangladesh and adopt one if its orphans. Er, didn’t John’s example involve going to an Asian country and creating orphans?

They fell in love at first sight, she says. I wonder if she’s leaving out any little detail about that event.

McCain thanks Bush for his leadership after 9/11, does not actually utter the name “Bush” anywhere in the speech.

Some “Iraq veteran against the war” (according to his t-shirt) has a sign and is heckling (there were others, but he’s the only one I saw on-screen on PBS), which leads to the edifying sight of pudgy delegates trying to drown out a war vet with chants of “USA! USA!” McCain tells the audience to ignore the “static.” Ha ha, that veteran isn’t really speaking in any known language, it’s just meaningless noise.

McCain must really hate having to give the part of his speech I’m listening to now, because we all know how much he hates talking about being a POW. Almost as much as he hates saying “My friends.”

Seriously, the POW portion of the speech went on a very long time.

Which he does a lot, even after everyone has been making fun of it. Can’t help himself. Unless someone thought it would be funny to put it on the teleprompter 500 times.

He actually suggests that people join the military. Or serve your country in other ways (though not as a community organizer): teach an illiterate adult to read (insert obligatory George Bush joke here). Or feed a hungry child – but not candy in the back of your van.

Went to a dark place there.

A bad speech, though delivered fairly well by McCain standards.

Hey, guy with sign: it’s spelled maverick, not mavrick!

Hey, Jim Lehrer: “they” don’t have seven children; he does.

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