Saturday, July 15, 2006

Both nations know what it’s like to see people blown up

Bush & Pootie Poot held a press conference to tell us what they’ve been discussing. Putin says they talked nuclear power, nuclear proliferation, and nuclear terrorism. Bush says “we talked philosophy.’s important for leaders to be able to share philosophy, whether it be the philosophy of government or the philosophy of governing.” I’m not sure which is scarier, nuclear terrorism, or George Bush discussing the philosophy of government (or his philosophy of governing).

Bush explains that violence in the Middle East is all Israel’s fault. Ha! just kidding! But he does take an uncharacteristic intellectual approach: “In my judgment, the best way to stop the violence is to understand why the violence occurred in the first place.” Why, oh why, sage guru? “And that’s because Hezbollah has been launching rocket attacks out of Lebanon into Israel, and because Hezbollah captured two Israeli soldiers. That’s why we have violence.” Er, how is that “understanding” the best way to stop violence?

No, wait, he’s got another “best way to stop violence”: “And the best way to stop the violence is for Hezbollah to lay down its arms, and to stop attacking.” So the best way to stop violence is to stop attacking... why did no one think of this before? That’s so crazy it just might work!

Then he said something about Hezbollah trying to stop the “good progress” being made toward a two-state solution. I assume he meant Hamas.

Sigh. No I don’t. I assume he doesn’t know the difference.

Bush invoked Beslan: “both nations know what it’s like to see people blown up.”

Bush did indeed discuss democracy with Putin: “And I talked about my desire to promote institutional change in parts of the world like Iraq where there’s a free press and free religion, and I told him that a lot of people in our country would hope that Russia would do the same thing.” Way to make it sound attractive, George! Putin replied, “We certainly would not want to have the same kind of democracy as they have in Iraq, I will tell you quite honestly.” Thank you for clearing that up.

No comments:

Post a Comment