Monday, March 03, 2008

Snatching defeat

In all of Bush’s hectoring demands for retroactive immunity for the telecoms for illegal wiretapping, what I’ve most enjoyed is Bush, who is not known for his mastery of verb tenses, being forced to employ the conditional. Today, for example, he spoke thusly to the National Association of Attorneys General (NAAG!): “If any of the companies believed to have helped us -- I’m just going to tell you, they were told it was legal by the government.” “Now the question is, should these lawsuits be allowed to proceed, or should any company that may have helped save American lives be thanked for performing a patriotic service; should those who stepped forward to say we’re going to help defend America have to go to the courthouse to defend themselves, or should the Congress and the President say thank you for doing your patriotic duty? I believe we ought to say thank you.” And you know what’s always a nice thank you present? Immunity for breaking the law.

By the way, have you thanked your telephone and internet providers yet?

Don’t you think you should?

Me neither.

Later, there was some sort of ceremony with Gen. Odierno. Bush told
him, “And I appreciate the fact that you really snatched defeat out of the jaws of those who are trying to defeat us in Iraq.” Of course, then the defeat was all covered with the saliva of those who are trying to defeat us in Iraq, which is kind of gross.

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