Tuesday, March 18, 2008

That’s Washington-speak for you’re fixing to receive some money

Quote of the day, from Ghana’s Interior Minister Kwamena Bartels: “When women strip themselves naked and stand by a major highway, that is not a peaceful demonstration.”

Today, Bush went to Jacksonville or, as he called it, J-ville.

HELLO SAILOR: “I’ve been in your stadium, I’ve been in your church -- I’ve never been on the docks. But if you’re interested in trying to figure out one of the reasons why this is one of America’s most vibrant cities, you got to come to the docks.” Or to put it another way, your stadium and your church really suck.

HE HAS AN MBA, YOU KNOW: “See, everybody here is working as a result of trade -- trade that happens and occurs right here on these docks.”

He talked about the mortgage crisis: “And it makes sense to help some person who is creditworthy find the capacity and understand where to refinance.” And he explained, “The more people live in their homes, the better off America is.” If they live under their homes, not so much. However, he also claimed “But no question there’s been a over-supply of housing, and it’s going to take time to work through this over-supply.” I’m not sure how that squares with the “the more people live in their homes, the better off America is” thing, but then I’m not an MBA.

DUMBING IT DOWN FOR US: “We also worked with Congress -- and I want to thank the members of Congress -- to pass a bipartisan economic growth package. That’s Washington-speak for you’re fixing to receive some money.”

FORGET ABOUT WHAT’S ACTUALLY HAPPENING NOW: “But I want people to understand that in the long term we’re going to be just fine. People will still be able to work.”

WHAT HE’S NOT SAYING: “You know, one of the interesting signs of strength is that we’re the world’s leading exporter of goods and services. I’m not saying we’re second place or third place; we’re the world’s leading exporter.”

HOW DRUNK DO YOU HAVE TO BE NOT TO KNOW IF YOU’RE SITTING OR STANDING? “I’m sitting in -- standing in front of people that are all part of the process”.

Most of the speech was yet another push for passage of the free-trade agreement with Colombia.

IF THAT DOESN’T INTEREST YOU, THINK ABOUT TERMS: “You can think in terms of national security interests, but if that doesn’t interest you, think about terms of helping folks just like this make a living.”

IN OTHER WORDS: “Our fellow citizens have got to know that across the hemisphere and across the globe, people are waiting to see what the members of Congress will do. In other words, this isn’t just one of these isolated votes that gets no attention outside of Washington. This is a vote that is being observed very carefully by people across the world.”

IN OTHER WORDS: “Business leaders from many backgrounds, along with current and former senators, congressmans [sic], mayors, diplomats, national security council people, Cabinet members from both parties -- I emphasize, from both parties -- support this agreement. In other words, it’s just not me talking. There’s a lot of people who understand the importance of this agreement.” Congressmans?

IN OTHER WORDS: “So, in other words, if you’re somebody wondering whether you’re going to have a job, and a fellow comes along and says, ‘Would you like to be able to sell more goods to Colombia? After all, a quarter of your revenues go to Colombia,’ I think the answer ought to be, yes, we want to be able to access more of Colombia.” I’m confused: just who is this fellow who’s going to come along and say, “Would you like to be able to sell more goods to Colombia?” Does he just come up to people in supermarket parking lots and say, “Would you like to be able to sell more goods to Colombia?” If we see him, should we call the police?

WHAT EXPORT IS DOING: “Export is continuing.”

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