The terrorist wore tenny pumps

The War Against Terror (TWAT) is on, it is SO on, as the Pentagon unveils its newest weapon: blooper reels. The American Forces Press Service has the details:

BAGHDAD, May 4, 2006 – Coalition officials here today showed the “outtakes” of terrorist Abu Musab al-Zarqawi’s latest anti-coalition screed, and it became quickly apparent why they ended on the cutting-room floor, so to speak.

In one, Zarqawi -- the leader of al Qaeda in Iraq -- has trouble trying to operate an automatic weapon. An associate has to show him how to do it. Later in the same shot, an associate takes the weapon from Zarqawi by the barrel and burns his hand. In another, the feared terrorist is shown in a black uniform and bright blue “tenny pumps.”

Coalition troops found the tape during a raid on a hideout for foreign fighters. “He is far from being a capable military leader,” coalition spokesman Army Maj. Gen. Rick Lynch said during a news conference today.

Tenny pumps! Why, the war is almost won! Tenny pumps.

What are tenny pumps?

Donald Rumsfeld, as we’ve noted before, has a powerful ability to deflect criticism or inconvenient facts using only the power of his own impenetrable ignorance. This week he responded to Gen. Bernard Trainor’s book Cobra II thusly: “Well, I don’t know the gentleman. The quote you gave, I’ve not seen the book so I can’t speak to it, but I can tell you this...” And what about Colin Powell? “Actually I’ve not seen his precise comments.”

Here’s a bonus Rummyquote from one of the few people who can (and does) combine “golly” and decapitation in a single sentence: “I keep coming back to the basic, and by golly, we’re a lot better off fighting these violent, vicious people who cut off people’s heads over there than here in our own country.”

I still don’t know what tenny pumps are, but it’s a lot of fun just saying it over and over. Try it. Tenny pumps tenny pumps tenny pumps tenny pumps.

I have to lie down now.