Wednesday, May 30, 2007

And if you can see progress in war that means you’re headed in the right direction

Joe Lieberman is in Iraq, nattily attired.

He told (video) a reporter, “Overall, I would say what I see here today is progress, significant progress from the last time I was here in December. And if you can see progress in war that means you’re headed in the right direction.” She chose to ask him about the high number of American troops deaths (which he says are “high this month,” as if it’s a momentary blip and they were not high last month and the month before that, and says are because the military is “out in the city and other cities but particularly in the capital city, and we’re having a positive effect”), so she didn’t ask him what form this significant progress that he claims to have seen takes. In the past, for example, he has declared satellite dishes proof of progress.

Another Republican candidate for president and what’re the odds it would be another rich white guy? Really, what’re the odds? I speak of course of Fred Thompson, the poor man’s Joe Don Baker.

Bush has named Robert Zoellick to run the World Bank. In his announcement, Bush praised capitalism: “Some call this globalization; I call it the triumph of human liberty”. But, Bush notes, there are a billion people in the world living on less than $1 a day. Zoellick, he says, is “committed to doing something about it.” Translate it into Italian lire, for example. Bush thinks all that poverty is because there isn’t enough globalization triumph of human liberty, not enough domination of local economies by multi-national corporations.

Bush followed up with a five-year plan for AIDS, a “modern-day plague.” You know the word modern is meant to compare it to biblical plagues rather than, say, medieval ones. In fact, I leave it as an exercise for the reader to count how the number of biblical allusions in Bush’s announcement. “Despairing families who had lost everything to AIDS started to believe that they had been cursed by the Almighty God,” he said. But that was before George Bush’s AIDS initiative, of course. “Once again, the generosity of the American people is one of the great untold stories of our time.” Evidently, an HIV diagnosis is no longer a death sentence in Africa. Anyway, he wants Congress to approve $6 billion a year for the next five years. This money would be spent through a program that requires that 7% be wasted on abstinence propaganda. Bush said that Laura will be going to Africa soon. “I really thank her for her concern about HIV/AIDS. She and I share a passion.” Dude, forget spending money on abstinence, just tell them about how you and Laura share a passion. That’ll put them right off the whole idea of sex.

Then he played with a four-year old South African boy (I don’t think he has HIV, but his mother does).

Baron Misoma Loyiso Tantoh tries to teach Chimpy how to walk.

“No, George, your other right leg.”

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