Sunday, May 13, 2007

I think you’ll be amazed at how our country got started

Today George and Laura visited Jamestown, Virginia. Would it have killed them to dress up as John Smith and Pocahontas?

Reuters captions the following picture, “President Bush discusses the length of sailmaker Josiah Freitus’ needle...” Yeah, sure, whatever.

AFP captions this one, “US President George W. Bush listens to an explanation of the use of a pistol...”

Ohmigod they just let him pick up a gun. Can you think of anything more dangerous than George Bush with a gun?

Oh, yes I can. George (shudder) spoke.

“I think you’ll be amazed at how our country got started,” he said. Mass murder, like every other country? (Gee, I was going to do some sort of birds and bees joke, but then I just went to the dark place.)

The story of the Jamestown settlement, he informed us, “is a story of hardship overcome by resolve” which “laid the foundation of our great democracy.” Oh brother, everything is a metaphor for Iraq for him now, isn’t it? Oh yes: in 1610 “They were prepared to abandon the settlement, and only the last minute arrival of new settlers and new provisions saved Jamestown.” Ye Olde Surge. “As the colony grew, the settlers ventured beyond the walls of their three-sided fort...” Ye Olde Green Zone. Then, Bush didn’t mention, they started planting tobacco to feed the unhealthy addiction of their brethren back home...

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